REV. LEWIS JOHNSTON
In the preface to his work of instruction for boys, Rev. Lewis Johnston (1803–1865) dedicated this book, written in 1900, “To the boys of our land in whose keeping the future interests of the country, moral and political, are to be entrusted.” Rev. Johnston understood the importance of educating and training boys to grow up to be responsible men of good character. The following passage lays out his advice for interacting with women.
Shun bad words, obscene books, lustful gestures or actions; light or impudence and imprudent behavior; dishonoring the marriage bed. Excess in eating, drinking, sleeping, keeping lewd company, bad companions, bad luscivious [sic] songs, and vulgar jokes . . .
360
You must not encourage, but rather give yourself to what is kind and pure, chaste, true, loving, elevating, ennobling, and by all means learn to distinguish between love and lust. This is the switch at which so many are side-tracked to ruin.
Many young boys and girls, and older ones as well, have been thrown in each other’s company in private, in the valleys, the mountain tops, on trips to different places, and no thought of wrong action nor improper conduct once crossed the mind.
When you love you seldom think to do anything that will for once bring trouble or cause you to think less of what you love. It will be kept pure and clean. If you truly love a girl she would find favor in your sight. You would cherish and take the utmost care of her. You would see that she was not hurt nor harmed, nor sullied in any way . . .
Lust will degrade you; love will elevate you. Lust will make you vile, selfish, sordid, low; love will make you pure, chaste; lovable, manly. Lust will make you earthly, sensual, devilish; love will make you godlike, continent, noble.
This will help you to examine yourself and restrain many actions that are foreign to true love.
. . . How you are to treat the girls with whom you come in contact. By all means be kind and polite to these young ladies, and if any are tart or sour in her actions or speech you politely pass it by in kindness, never be rude, never, never, never. Do not make any vile advance, getting unpleasantly close up to a young lady, lulling, caressing, fondling, kissing, hugging, every time you meet, placing your hands upon her person or bosom, telling ugly stories, jests that broach on the obscene. Make it a point to be discreet, chaste, pure. Be a man. Be true to your promise. Be honest. Be truthful. Never talk or tell things that will hurt the reputation of a girl. Never say slight things of her, even if she steps out of the way. Have in your mind, she belongs to the sex to which your sister and mother belong, and you are going to respect, even if the sight of her sickens you.