The Book of Man: Readings on the Path to Manhood

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It is natural to think of men first as physical beings and to describe manhood as muscle, strength, power, and actions—whether heroic and courageous or weak and timid. But the true root of a man’s existence is his ability to think and reflect. In the Bible, God’s first task for man was to name creation and be its caretaker—an internal, reflective activity. And in another tradition Socrates famously explained, “The unexamined life is not worth living.”

Reflection and contemplation separate men from the rest of creation. “There is one art of which every man should be a master—the art of reflection—if you are not a thinking man, to what purpose are you a man at all?” asked English poet and philosopher Samuel Coleridge. And said English writer Robert Dodsley, “Reflection is the business of man; a sense of his state is his first duty.”

Without reflection men would be nothing more than walking appetites, driven to and fro by natural instincts. Reflection allows us to weigh our actions, judge the consequences, and proceed circumspectly. It is how a man evaluates and determines his fortune and future.

Some self-reflection helps in leading a good and joyful life. As the twentieth-century American historian, William L. Shirer, said, “Most true happiness comes from one’s inner life, from the disposition of the mind and soul.” How does a man cultivate such a disposition? “It takes reflection and contemplation and self-discipline,” he said.

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Admittedly, that doesn’t come easily. Some of us men are not readily inclined to reflection, contemplation, and self-discipline. But a life without some reflection and self-examination is incomplete. It is like a house built on sand, easily destroyed by the slightest of life’s storms—or like a house left unmaintained. As English poet Edward Young put it, “A soul without reflection, like a pile without inhabitant, to ruin runs.”

A man sharpens and strengthens his body through exercise; he sharpens and strengthens his mind through thought and reflection—like spiritual calisthenics and study. Much like a body goes to waste without exercise, so, too, will a thoughtless mind.

While you can judge a man’s physical manhood by the weight he can lift or the pace of his sprint, his “mental manhood” is more elusive. The development of the mind is a nonlinear event, with no specific milestones or checkpoints. It’s an internal struggle—a push and a pull that’s often two steps forward and one step back. But we welcome the fight. “The real man smiles in trouble,” said American pamphleteer Thomas Paine, “gathers strength from distress, and grows brave by reflection.”

Reflection goes hand in hand with, and is not the opposite of, faith. Most Jews and Christians embrace both reason and revelation. Broadly defined, prayer is personal communication with God. Prayer is the bridge from ephemeral reflection to eternal contemplation. In the act of prayer, man studies and dissects his own soul while recognizing that there is an order and a power greater than himself to whom he is accountable. Prayer brings us closer to God in the same way that engaging in conversation with another human strengthens our relationship with that person.

What we consider prayer typically includes petition, intercession, confession of sin, praise, and thanksgiving. Any conversation with God, however, can be considered prayer. Said Victor Hugo, author of Les Misérables, “Certain thoughts are prayers. There are moments when, whatever be the attitude of the body, the soul is on its knees.”

In any discussion of prayer, the question naturally arises: If God knows everything, then why pray? We pray because it is a demonstration of trust and faith in God. Through prayer we are dependent on the goodness of God and confess our conviction in his goodness. It’s not for him, it’s for us.

We also keep watch of ourselves through prayer. George Herbert, a Welsh poet and Anglican priest, said it best: “Sum up at night what thou hast done by day, and in the morning what thou hast to do.—Dress and undress thy soul; mark the decay and growth of it.—If with thy watch, that too be down, then wind up both; since we shall be most surely judged, make thine accounts agree.”

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And beyond an exercise of our faith, prayer may even influence God’s actions. James tells us, “You do not have because you do not ask” (James 4:2 NKJV). Jesus himself said, “And whatever things you ask in prayer, believing, you will receive” (Matthew 21:22 NKJV). The Bible makes it very clear that when we ask, God answers. As you will see throughout this chapter, men who prayed incessantly believed that God would answer—and he often did in powerful ways. On the other hand, if you pray very little or not at all, it is a sign that you believe prayer accomplishes little or nothing at all.

I fear that this is the place we find a majority of men today. According to Gallup polling in 2010, only 39 percent of men attend church regularly (compared to 47 percent of women). Church is often the punch line of television-show jokes or only appears relevant around the holiday season. It seems that modern man spends less time in prayer and reflection than many of the generations before him.

Whether an athlete or a construction worker or a doctor, a man is better off if he is a thinking man and a prayerful man. Reflection and prayer are a man’s internal GPS system, and to neglect this part of life would be like going on a journey without a map or a compass. A man may not see where he is headed in life without first realizing where he has been and how he got there, and attaining the wisdom to know that he depends on a power greater than himself. In this chapter we see famous and unfamous men thinking and praying. Men—good men from all stations of life—do both.