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Chapter Four

Spirit Guides and Familiars

We begin to see that we are spiritually linked with people halfway around the world and with those who lived hundreds, even thousands of years ago. We begin to see that we emerge from, and are the expressions of, a single consciousness that is limited by neither time nor space.

—

Hal Zina Bennett, Spirit Guides:
Companions & Mentors for Your Inner Journey

Spirit guides and familiar spirits, often referred to as spirit allies, are two incredibly important types of spirits that we work with as witches. Our allies help us to mediate with the peoples and forces of the other worlds, and in some cases they are capable of helping with our spiritual evolution. There are many types of allies that we will come across in our journeys through the spirit world, and an ally can come from any plane. There is something uniquely different about our spirit guides and familiar spirits, however, in that they work intimately with us for long periods of time.

A spirit guide is an ally who is attuned to the specific frequency of your higher self. Like any ally, these spirits can come from any plane or time or planet—or, well, anywhere! Because they are attuned to your highest vibration, these spirits are incapable of steering you in a bad direction and are therefore irreplaceable counsel when navigating the oceans of life. The connection between the witch and the guide is deeply psychic and intuitive, so much so that often people are working with their guide without actually knowing it. Everyone has spirit guides, regardless of their psychic or magical stamina; these spirits are more invested in the progression of your soul than getting a bunch of attention.

Guides come in a myriad of flavors and types, and, depending on your style and interests, different guides will enter your life at different times. If you are a healer, then you have healing guides; if you are a poisoner, then you have poisoning guides; if you are in the military, you have military guides, and so on. The most essential piece of the puzzle lies in their connection to your spiritual evolution. These spirits will not do your bidding; they are not here to show off and impress you. They are here to act as a tour guide through an often bumpy safari. Tour guides demand respect because they know how to get through the trip without losing an arm, so don’t get bossy with these spirits; they know better!

Familiar spirits are a lot like spirit guides, and in some traditions these spirits are seen as being the same. Familiars are not your cat or your dog; that is a giant misconception. Your pet is an animal ally—one that you can learn a lot from, but make no mistake, they are no familiar. During the witch trials it was believed that spirit mediators for the devil would come in the guise of a companion animal, known as a familiar or sometimes an imp. It was also believed that the witch could send these spirits out to wreak havoc on the innocent. I would say that they had it half right, but just because they blamed the cat did not actually mean that the cat was secretly sending messages back and forth between the witch and the lord of darkness.

Familiars are spirits who intimately work with us. Not particularly invested in the enrichment of our souls, they are more interested in being friends and partners in crime. On occasion, as with what happened with me and my familiar, these allies can start off as guides and then over time move into the role of familiar. Guides are rarely permanent fixtures and have a tendency to come when needed and then exit the stage once the job is done. Sometimes you make friends, however, and they stick around, dropping the formality of mentor and guide and sliding into a much more intimate partnership of equals. In my case, which we will discuss a bit later, I met Malach as a spirit guide and then found out that we had past lifetimes together and a soul contract to meet up again in this life. Our partnership was prearranged in a previous life, and apparently we have been doing this for a long time. In my travels and intrigues I have found that many witches have similar past-life experiences and connections with their familiars.

Sometimes familiars are gifted to you by a more powerful spirit. Ceremonially speaking, grimoires like the Goetia are full of angels and demons who are known for granting the magician powerful familiar spirits. In this case it always felt a bit more like spiritual slave trade to me than a budding friendship, but it does get the job done.

The Symbiotic Relationship

Spirit guides and familiars are beings that can come from any manner of existence, and even though we can find ourselves drumming up strange images of spirits who are somehow tethered to us or beings we summon to carry out our bidding, nothing could be further from the truth. These spirits have their own needs, their own desires, and even their own agendas at times. That can be spooky to some, but we must also understand that they are guides through this life, beings who have knowledge that we do not have ourselves. These guides are tapped in to the universal flow of energy, and because of this they are irreplaceable when navigating the seas of life. They may have their own personalities and drives, but you are just as important to them as they are to you.

One example of this symbiotic relationship comes from the annals of my own life experience. While in trance-meditation one evening I was coming down from a particularly hard day, a day that had brought many of my own hidden issues to light. I struggled with making sense of it and was left feeling as though there wasn’t any way through the mess. Malach, my familiar, joined me as a spirit guide when I surrendered to the feeling of hopelessness for the first time in my adult life. He helped me sift through all of the emotional energy that was pouring from me and was quite therapeutic to be around. As I found myself processing these emotions, I recognized that without his aid I wouldn’t be able to do so much so quickly. As my mind settled, I asked him, “What do you get out of all of this? A whiny twentysomething comes to you with all of his issues and you help him out—but what are you getting from this?”

I thought it was a reasonable question. I work with him so much and feel him with me all day, every day, but I had never thought to ask what he was getting from all of this. I began to detect the awareness that he needed me just as much as I needed him. “But why?” I insisted. “Why come and help me?” As much as I love spirits, they aren’t always the sharing type.

“Because you were there to help me,” he responded, as clear as day. Like all good witches, I am, if anything, a skeptic. I don’t tend to believe in things I myself haven’t experienced, and I wasn’t exactly willing to let go of my skepticism without a fight.

“What do you mean, I was there to help you?”

“You and I have been through a lot,” he said. “I have known you in many forms, and you have known me in many forms. You have been a guide for me and will be one again.”

“So you and I have some sort of mystical bond that exists outside of this lifetime?”

“Time in general,” he said matter-of-factly.

I was filled with half-memories and blurry images. Malach and I walking through deserts, he and I traveling through space, him meeting me in different incarnations, me watching his children be born and grow. It felt so familiar, so possible. “This is us?” I asked.

“In the past and the future,” he replied again, as if it were fact.

As I sat there and collected my thoughts, I knew that I had been shown my soul’s path. I had guided him in the physical, spending years silently watching, only chiming in when needed. We didn’t always know each other was there—we didn’t even know about the spiritual plane in some of these lives—but there we were, side by side, lifetime after lifetime.

This doesn’t mean that all of us have a spirit guide like Malach; one thing I have learned is that there are hundreds, if not thousands, of connections between us and the spirit world. Malach and I have business to attend to, just as you have business to attend to with your ally.

Working with our guides is a gift and a responsibility, and it is one of the most cherished practices in Witchcraft, dating as far back as the biblical time of Saul and the Witch of Endor. As witches, honing our skills and abilities to work with our guides are necessities.

Things to Always Keep in Mind 

If you already have a guide or multiple guides that you work with, the next few pages are going to bring you closer to them than ever before. If you are a witch who never particularly ventured down this road before, you are in for a real treat!

Preparing to Meet Your Spirit Guide

The spiritual work involved in meeting your familiar is actually quite easy and natural; where we get stuck is in the mental processes. In the beginning every communication will be met with “Did I really just perceive that?” or “Is that actually the answer?” followed by “Ugh… this is so stupid!” which then undoubtedly turns into “I can’t do this.” Before you know it, you are on to something else until what little insight you did gain in that five minutes becomes useless because you didn’t stick with it.

There is no such thing as not possessing the spiritual knowledge to access your spirit guides. That knowledge is embedded deep in your DNA; just like the knowledge of how to breathe, it’s automatic and instinctual. There is also no such thing as a person who was born without a spirit guide. We all have at least one primary guide, and, depending on what your life’s purpose is, there will be several guides that come and go in your life.

To prepare yourself for a deep and long-lasting relationship with your familiar, you need to take some time to process what spirit guides mean to you. It may sound silly, but determining how you feel about the whole concept of guides is essential to your ability to create such a connection. What have others said about guides in the past? How did it make you feel? Did someone mention their own spirit guide and it just sounded absurd to you? Have you known people who spoke about their guides as if they were from a fantasy novel? When people do talk about their guides, have you been able to relate?

Ask yourself these questions and identify when in these interactions with others you felt a disconnect or lack of reality. Write down what negative interactions you have had surrounding the topic and what positive interactions you have had. Once you have jotted those down, spend a few moments thinking about what a familiar is to you and why you actually want to develop this connection. Think about what you want this relationship to look like and how you want it to affect your life. How is this relationship different from guides you have worked with in the past?

The next step is quite physical. Clear a space for your familiar work and then take a shower or bath. Relaxing the body relaxes the mind, and when your mind is relaxed, your spirit can perceive with ease. Removing clutter from your dedicated meditation area and dirt from your pores will allow you to approach these beginning stages with a fresh mind and outlook.

Light a candle and spend a few moments just checking in with yourself. Sit in front of the candle and allow your attention to drift from the craziness of the day to a calm and easy vibration. To do this, focus on your breathing and allow yourself to fall deeper and deeper into meditation by treating each point of stillness and silence between your breaths as a step leading you deeper into trance. Every noise that you hear externally should be treated in the same way—just another step down.

Once you feel calm and centered, simply feel the energy around you. I do this by first feeling my body: with my mind I focus on my toes and how they feel physically at the moment, and then I work my way up to the top of my head. Just feel these areas with your mind.

The next step is to focus on how your clothing feels against your skin. What is the texture like? If you are a nudist, how does the floor feel against your bum? If you are wearing clothing, focus on how the air feels against your clothes. Imagine that your psychic senses enabled you to feel with your clothes the way you would feel with your skin. What does the air feel like when it touches your clothing?

Feel how the air feels against the walls, furniture, plants, trees, rocks, etc., in the space. Feel these objects as if they were brushing up against your own skin.

Finally, bring your concentration and awareness back into yourself. Open your eyes and again focus on the candle flame.

This process allows you to ground your energy as well as to actively feel the psychic energy around you. From a psychological perspective, we just actively searched our environment and now our brains have no need to run away from us in search of this information. From a spiritual perspective, we just activated the energy body, induced a light state of trance, and moved through the layers of our aura—a perfect starting point for mediumship and familiar spirit work.

From this place, you can do any of the work that you may need to do! I highly recommend doing this starting point exercise before the meditations that come with this program, as doing so will allow you to get the most from your exercises. You can practice this before any spiritual work; it is an excellent tool to help with concentration. Do this before tests, before you start your workday, or even before a high-stress meeting. Connect to your familiar as often as possible and establish the type of bond that takes time and lots of love.

Meeting Spirit Guides

For this all you will need is a white candle, thirty minutes of uninterrupted time, and your journal. Find yourself somewhere peaceful and relaxing where there won’t be any interruptions or distractions. Align your souls and activate your etheric body, but do not enter the silver cord; do your best to remain in your body but also have part of your consciousness still in the etheric plane (see chapter 5 of The Witch’s Book of Power).

Light the white candle in front of you and say,

Holy Mother, in you we live, move, and have our being.

From you all things emerge and unto you all things return.

Connect me, Mother, to my spirit guide;

Let our bond run deep inside.

From you, within you, and out;

Nothing between us is fear or doubt!

Come to me, familiar, and open the way;

Let us grow stronger with each day.

Take a few moments to settle into the energy that begins to bubble up. Once you start to feel a connection occurring, open your journal and document anything that starts to come to your mind. Spend only about five minutes doing this, and then close your journal and fix your gaze on the candle flame.

Begin practicing the fourfold breath. As you breathe and fix your eyes to the flame, mentally ask if there is a spirit present that is coming forth as your guide. If you feel a shift in the energy or mentally perceive a positive answer, then begin asking the following questions:

What is your name?

Do you come only to work with me and my highest good?

Have we worked together before?

What plane do you come from?

What are you capable of doing for me?

What do you want in return?

What shape do you most often take?

How will you present yourself to me when you want to make yourself known?

Is there a specific time or day of the week that we should work with each other over others?

What can I do to immediately feel connected to you?

What message do you have for me?

Allow the first answer that comes to be the only answer that you accept. Spend the remainder of the time asking any questions you might have. Once the thirty minutes are up, ask if the guide will be staying with you or leaving. If it wants to stay with you, give it rules, like you would with any roommate. If it decides to leave, then make sure to visit the following day, if only for a few moments. Repeated exposure is the best way to maintain contact. Do this at least once a day for a week, changing the questions to fit your needs. Remember, these spirits won’t require anything from you as payment; they will be joining you to partake in the spoils of your own spiritual unfolding.

Once you have met a few spirit guides and begin working with them, you will want to do what I call the spirit guide profiler. This tool is a simple way to catalog your spirit guides and keep notes on them as your relationship develops. Each spirit gets two pages in my Book of Shadows, and I try to spend as much attention to detail as possible. Be sure to do this with your guides, but also use this tool when you meet a new spirit and are attempting to establish a working relationship with them. As mediums, the questions in the profile help to get the important centers of our psyche to perceive specific details about the spirits.

The Spirit Guide Profiler

The spirit guide profiler is like a quiz I take each time I have met a guide and I think they might be someone I need to develop a relationship with. If I do this and the score is low, then I tend to back away from that spirit and make room for something else to come along. If, however, the score is high, that suggests that the contact I am having with that spirit is clear and our relationship is already thriving. You may find that you have already asked some of these questions to your guide in the process of opening the way for your connection. Don’t worry; ask again! I will often ask spirits the same question a few ways in order to check for consistency. If you notice any inconsistency in the information provided, then you need to investigate further.

Part 1: Scaled Questions

Answer on a scale of 1 to 5 (1 being strongly disagree and 5 being strongly agree).

1

2

3

4

5

I feel a vibrational change when actively communicating with this guide.

1

2

3

4

5

I feel safe when this guide is around.

1

2

3

4

5

I feel calm when this guide is around.

1

2

3

4

5

This guide is easy for me to communicate with.

1

2

3

4

5

I feel that the information exchanged between me
and this guide betters me.

1

2

3

4

5

This spirit guide is direct when it communicates
with me.

1

2

3

4

5

This information comes to me easily.

1

2

3

4

5

The information is easily integrated.

1

2

3

4

5

Since meeting this guide I have been able to help
and encourage others.

1

2

3

4

5

This guide has accurately informed me of future trends in my life.

1

2

3

4

5

When I finish my work with this guide, I am left feeling empowered.

1

2

3

4

5

This spirit guide assists me in my life.

1

2

3

4

5

This spirit guide and I have a deep connection.

1

2

3

4

5

The spirit guide feels like it might be a potential familiar spirit.

1

2

3

4

5

This spirit guide is willing to journey with me along the Witch’s Tree.

Scaled Question Tabulation

Add each number you circled together. The sum of these answers will determine how to proceed.

If your score was between 15–30: A score this low means that the spirit you are communicating with is not your spirit guide or is a guide that you are not ready to meet with. Perform a cleansing on yourself and your space and wait at least twenty-four hours before attempting to contact your spirit guides. If this lower vibration continues, then banish the energy by commanding it to go. Remember, you have all the control.

If your score was between 30–45: A score in the mid-range suggests that you are in the beginning stages of spirit guide contact but are missing some of the pieces. If your score falls under this range, you would benefit from a meditation discipline and astral traveling to open the channel. (See page 65–70 for ideas on how to widen your channel to the spirit world.)

If your score was between 45–60: You are in full contact! It looks like you are actively in communication with your guide and are in a place of peace and open-mindedness when it comes to this area of your life. You have recognized your guide as a force for enlightenment and good in your life. Now it’s time to practice putting all the pieces together! Proceed with the next section of the profiler.

Part 2: Further Questions

Ask the following questions of your spirit guide. (Remember: the first answer is the right answer!) Some of them are similar to the first part of the profiler, but because these questions require extended answers that contain vital information in the profiling process, they are asked here again. Answer these to the best of your ability, once again allowing the first response to be the one you accept.

What is your true name?

Are you here for my highest good?

Do we have karmic connections? If so, what are they?

Where do you come from?

Were you once human? Which sex?

What are your interests?

How long have you been with me? Is there a specific experience that brought you and me together?

What do you get out of this?

How will you help me make positive changes in my life?

How often should we work together?

What are you here to teach me?

Describe two interactions you have had with me even if I wasn’t paying attention.

Now answer the following questions on your own:

Do you feel safe sharing your life with this being?

What does the guide do to help you feel at ease?

How does the guide best communicate with you? (Do they show you images? Do you hear sounds? What type? )

How does this spirit guide get your attention?

Do you dream about them? If so, is this dreaming pleasant?

If you were to describe your spirit guide by using only one color, what color would you choose? Why?

If you were to describe your spirit guide by using only one taste, what would it be? Why?

If you were to describe your spirit guide by using only one sound, what would it be? Why?

If you were to describe your spirit guide by using only one texture, what would it be? Why?

If you were to describe your spirit guide by using only one scent, what would it be? Why?

What time of the day do you feel most connected to your guide? Why do you think that is?

Describe what your guide looks like.

Lastly, draw your spirit guide to the best of your ability.

As I mentioned earlier, work with the profiler frequently if you’ve met a spirit and think they might be an important part of your work. Developing a bond with your spirit guides and familiars is one of the most challenging and rewarding experiences we can have as witches. Unfortunately, we have to vet out the bad spirits from the good, and this exercise can help tremendously when doing just that. In the next chapter we will explore mediumship as a practice further, so before you jump to the next chapter, spend some time working with your guides; get to know them. If you are lucky enough to have a familiar, be sure to work with them on an everyday, all-day-long basis.

Journal Topics

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