The jangle of her phone cut through the sound of the shower. Jena shut off the water and grabbed the towel, scrubbing her face and hands dry before wrapping it loosely around her body and reaching for the phone.
Please be work, please be work, even one shift would help.
They were so close to being kicked out of here, and if she didn’t get some hours soon there would be nothing to eat, let alone anything to pay the bills with.
‘Hello, Jena speaking,’ she said in her most professional voice.
‘Jena.’ That raspy voice. That single word. It told her so much.
‘Uncle David.’ She mimicked the dry tone. It had been a long time since they’d spoken, and she had no problem with that. She’d been in his house for seven years, but they’d never really been family.
Not like the family she’d had.
Before.
‘Pat wanted me to call. Your grandmother … Rose has taken ill and we think it’s best you head to the farm and make whatever peace you might need.’
Jena didn’t say anything, just sank down onto the rim of the grimy bathtub, the cold porcelain lip cutting into her thighs. Her heart thudded in her chest and a wave of irritation swept over her on realising she actually cared what happened to Rose.
‘Jena?’
‘I’m here,’ she said brusquely, swallowing the lump in her throat. ‘I just—’
‘She’s getting on, Jena. It was going to happen sometime. Lucky the neighbour went to visit or she might have died.’
It felt like birds were clawing at the inside of her chest, scrabbling for purchase on a heart Jena had thought was locked up nice and tight.
‘Jena?’
‘Yeah, I’m here. Give me a minute, would you? It’s a lot to take in.’ Jena pushed to her feet and walked into the small bedroom. ‘Is she in hospital?’ She moved to the wardrobe and looked, unseeing, through her clothing.
‘No, she’s home with a carer. Been back there a couple weeks now—’
‘What?’ Jena straightened. ‘She went to hospital weeks ago and you’re only just calling me about it now? What the hell, David?’
He drew in a long breath and Jena could picture the look on his face – his brow would furrow, his cheeks would flush crimson – like he wanted to blast her but knew better than to start.
‘She didn’t want visitors, Jena.’
‘And if she’d been on her death bed, would you have called me then?’
She heard him grind his teeth.
‘But she wasn’t. There’s no point going over what ifs. It’s cancer. She’s going downhill fast and they want to put her in a hospice.’ He paused, but he wasn’t giving her time to mull that over. He was choosing his words. He always chose his words. She wished he’d just say what he wanted to say, but he almost never did.
‘It’s time,’ he said. ‘We’re going to sell the farm and if you get down there and help out, you can get your cut of the inheritance early.’ He paused again, his voice softening when he said, ‘We know you could do with some extra cash.’
Jena choked out a laugh. Of course, she could always do with extra cash. She was a mess, and her aunt and uncle knew it. Probably even Rose knew. ‘Is this a bribe?’
‘No, it’s not a bribe, it’s an offer. Come on, Jena. We know you had a rough start …. We know we didn’t always make it easy for you. Just—’ He sighed. ‘We don’t know how long she’s got, and this way you could kill two birds with one stone. Make peace with the old bat, and earn some money. You can’t tell me you’ve got anything better going on right now.’
Her aunt whispered dramatically in the background. ‘David!’ And then the phone rattled as she grabbed it off him. ‘He didn’t mean it like that, Jena.’ She sighed.
‘It’s fine. I think it’s the first real thing he’s ever said to me. Why didn’t you call me?’ Jena asked. ‘Why did you make him do it?’
She could hear Pat breathing through the phone. ‘I’m sorry. I just didn’t know how to say it …. My mother is dying, Jena.’ Her voice caught. ‘And I might have bolted from that place as soon as I possibly could, but she’s still my mother. You have no idea—’
‘Don’t,’ Jena warned, her voice tight as she swallowed the loss of her mother again. Just like she’d been swallowing it for almost twenty years now. ‘Just don’t go there.’
‘We all lost a lot that night, Jena. You most of all, I know that,’ her aunt whispered. ‘Look, just think about it, okay? You don’t have to go if you don’t want to, but we think you should.’
Jena licked her lips, her tongue catching on dry skin as she walked into the lounge. ‘I’ll think about it.’
‘Take care, Jena.’ Aunt Pat hung up.
Jena dropped the phone on the couch before sinking into it herself. It was worn and ratty, the fabric scratching against her legs where the towel didn’t cover her skin. She sunk her head into her hands and closed her eyes.
Rose was dying.
She shouldn’t care; she really shouldn’t. She’d barely spent any time with the woman since she was ten, and what little time they’d had was spent avoiding the only subject Jena wanted to talk about. The night of the fire. The night everything burned – including her family.
She needed to know if it was her fault, because she couldn’t make sense of Rose’s actions if it hadn’t been. Why else would Rose send Jena away to live with an aunt and uncle she barely knew and who didn’t really want her?
Jena sighed and leaned back, gazing at the water stains on the ceiling.
If she left this shitty little apartment – if she went to the farm – she knew she wouldn’t be coming back. Not because she wanted to stay on the farm, but because this was a crappy place to call home – she was working to keep a status quo she didn’t even like.
No, it was time for a change. Time to find some answers and reclaim some of her history, because maybe once she knew what had happened, she could move on. There was no way in hell she was letting Rose die without telling her the truth.
Now it was only a matter of whether Cade would come with her. He could stay here if he wanted – that was his choice – but she was going.
She was gone.
She pulled on the first clothes she could find – yesterday’s tee and jeans – and went to the wardrobe and rummaged around until she found her big bag, tossing it on the bed and shoving in her clothes and the few things she actually valued; her tatty old teddy bear, the only photo she had of her family, and the copy of Alice in Wonderland Rose had given her before she sent her away. Then she went to the bathroom. She left behind her overused toothbrush – she’d get a new one, Rose owed her that much at least – and ducked down so she could get into the cupboard, scooping up her birth control, antidepressants, painkillers and makeup.
The front door opened and Jena stood up, banging her head on the counter in her rush. ‘Cade?’ she called, rubbing the sore spot on her head. It could only be him, or maybe Dotty from next door.
‘Yeah, it’s me, babe. Where are you?’
‘Bathroom, be right out.’ She zipped up her toiletry bag and tossed it onto the bed. Her worldly possessions reduced to such a small collection; it was a bit pathetic.
Cade walked into the room. His long blond hair was tied back in a ponytail, and he wore his ratty old surf-brand T-shirt, and blue jeans complete with rips at the knees. ‘What’s going on?’ he asked, nodding his head towards her pile of gear. ‘Running off with someone better looking than me?’ His grin said he knew that wasn’t it.
‘Yes, of course. Mr Rogers from the third floor promised to whisk me away to a better life.’ Jena grinned and folded her arms over her chest. She didn’t want to touch him, didn’t want to get closer, because she wasn’t sure how he was going to react to her news.
‘Just because he’s higher up than us it doesn’t mean his view is any better,’ Cade quipped.
Jena sat down on the bed and ran her hands through the contents of the bag, double-checking she had everything important: clothes, toiletries, bear, book, photo. All there. Looking up at Cade, she pulled her lips tight to stop herself from getting emotional. ‘My grandmother’s dying. I need to go back to the farm to see her. Before she passes.’
‘Wow, okay. Wow.’ He sat down beside her, his hand absently stroking her thigh. ‘How long for? I don’t know if I made enough money busking today to cover the rent.’
She shook her head and pressed a kiss against his cheek. ‘I’m not coming back.’ She let out a sigh when he stilled, then leaned against his shoulder, trying to pass some comfort along. ‘I’m not leaving you, but I’m leaving this shit heap. Come with me? I need to see her. I need closure. And then we can start over.’ She might want Cade to come with her, but for some reason she didn’t want to mention the money.
He was silent for a minute. ‘She owes you.’
She did, but it sounded way worse when it came out of Cade’s mouth. Jena just nodded.
Cade got up and moved to the wardrobe, flicking through his clothes and tossing things onto the bed. ‘You never talk about her. About what happened to make the two of you fall out.’
Jena sat up straighter and scraped the hair back from her face. ‘Maybe once we’re there,’ she said. ‘I mean, I barely know myself.’
But hopefully, soon, she would.