Jena crept downstairs to make herself a coffee. Cade was still sleeping and she didn’t want to wake him yet; she just wanted some space, some peace, to trace the paths of her childhood and reacquaint herself with this place. It was so weird to move around in this kitchen. Hardly anything had changed since she left, but that didn’t mean she knew where anything was. At ten, she’d been of some use in the kitchen, but between her mother, Lucy, and Rose there hadn’t been a lot to do other than peel potatoes and carrots.
She was just taking her first sip of coffee when Will appeared in the doorway.
‘She’s awake,’ he said, giving her an awkward little nod.
Jena had no idea what that nod meant, but she shot out of her chair and headed towards the hallway, brushing past Will.
‘Hang on a second,’ he called, though he didn’t grab her. ‘You can’t just charge in there like a bull.’
Jena spun to face him. ‘I am not a bull. Not even close to it. But let’s get one thing straight.’ She raised a finger, pointing it at him like it was loaded and ready to go off. ‘She’s my family, and I am sure as shit not going to let you keep me from her. You got that?’
Will rocked back on his heels, eyes widening in surprise. ‘Got it.’ A frown flickered across his brow so quickly that she almost missed it. ‘But if we’re being clear, I’m here for her, not you. And if I think you’re putting her at risk or causing her unnecessary stress then you’re gone. Have you got that?’ His tone was pure professional; there wasn’t a trace of emotion on his face now.
Jena huffed out a breath, almost wishing he was angry like she was. ‘Loud and clear.’
She spun back around and headed for the second lounge, tossing a look over her shoulder and, of course, there was Will, following behind her.
Why couldn’t he just go away?
When she got to the lounge door she paused, her fingers on the handle, an aching hesitancy making her breathless.
Was it going to be like this for every room in the house? Like the world was on hold as she anxiously anticipated what she might find on the other side.
All her irritation at Will disappeared, leaving her drained. She heaved a sigh and forced herself to relax her shoulders.
Will came to a stop just behind her. ‘It’s okay,’ he said softly.
She whirled to face him, surprised by his sudden change in demeanour, but still annoyed by his presence. ‘Yeah, I know it’s okay,’ she snapped.
He chewed on his bottom lip, his eyes sliding away from her before they came back, tinged with grief. ‘I’ve been where you are before and I know it’s hard. That’s all. I know you don’t like me, but I just want you to know that I get that this isn’t easy. I’m not going to hold anything that happens here against you.’
Jena scowled. Hold it against her. What the fuck. As if there was something wrong with the way she was behaving.
Though, she had been kind of a jerk to him, and he hadn’t really done anything wrong. Yet. Other than be kind of creepy.
‘Okay,’ she conceded with a sigh. She opened the door, giving him one last look before pushing it to behind her and facing the room.
The curtains had already been opened and pale sunlight flooded into the lounge. It was almost the same, aside from the hospital bed in the middle of the room and the smell of cleaning products, as if they were trying to win a war against the dusty drapes and the old cream-and-gold Axminster carpet. The only big difference was the new wallpaper, a bold red flower design she’d never have picked for herself. It really didn’t go with the carpet, but maybe they were planning to work on that next. She could see the ranges out the window. Their peaks were dusted in mist, and she knew that Taranaki would be shrouded too. Jena took a breath, and then turned her gaze to the old woman in the bed.
‘Jena,’ Rose said, the word a whisper. She sounded almost as frail as she appeared. Her grandmother was wearing a deep blue nightdress. Propped up in bed she looked light enough that she might float away, had it not been for the old blanket weighing her down and the pounamu necklace resting on her chest.
‘Rose.’ Jena crossed the room and sat down carefully beside the old woman, right on the edge of the bed. Tears welled in the corners of her eyes and she realised that until this moment, right here, she’d done a really good job of forgetting the fact that this woman might not be around much longer. Of forgetting that they’d wasted years not talking to each other about anything important, or not talking at all, and it was almost too late.
Which was why she had to do this right. It was why she had to find a way to get the answers she so desperately needed.
‘It’s good to see you, little bird. It’s been a long time.’
Jena nodded. ‘Too long. I’m sorry. Sorry for being a brat and—’
‘Hush now. No need to say sorry. We’ve both made mistakes. Let’s not waste time on apologies when we’ve got so much work ahead of us.’ Rose gave Jena the same look she’d always given her; the one that was simultaneously encouraging and admonishing.
‘Are you sure you want to sell this place?’ Jena glanced around the room then, taking in the details she hadn’t seen before. It had changed more than she’d thought at first glance, new books on the bookshelf, half the older ornaments gone. ‘It’s home. It’s been part of our family for so long.’
Rose shook her head, sorrow in her eyes. ‘It hasn’t really been home since I sent you away, little bird.’
‘I didn’t mean my home, but yours—’
‘Not mine, either. It’s been hollow without you here.’ Rose sighed and leaned back against the pillows. ‘I don’t know why I didn’t sell the place years ago.’
Jena didn’t know what to say. Rose had never let on that she’d been conflicted over the decision to send her away. She’d always denied Jena’s requests to return, even had her uncle come and drag her back to their place that one time she’d hitchhiked out here.
She sighed. None of this was how she thought it would go.
‘But you’re here now.’ Rose reached out and patted Jena’s arm. Jena slipped her hand into Rose’s grip, feeling the feather-fine skin beneath her fingers, wrinkled but so soft to the touch. ‘And we can work together, get this place on the market and help you create a new future. I want to make sure you’re looked after when I’m gone. I know it might be hard to believe, but it’s the only thing I’ve wanted. Ever.’
Rose locked eyes with Jena. The deep blue seemed to have faded to a milky hue, greying with age, but she was still sharp and aware. Her brain wasn’t slowing down just yet, which would make it both harder and easier for Jena to get the truth from her.
But there was plenty of time for that on another day. Right now, Will was hovering just outside the door and she knew he wouldn’t stand for raised voices.
‘I know,’ Jena said softly. She gave Rose a sad smile. ‘It’s really weird being back here. I could have sworn I saw Joel running down the hall. I feel like Mum should be in the kitchen baking or getting started on lunch, and that Dad will be coming in from the farm soon too.’ She swallowed the lump in her throat. ‘How did you do it? Stay here after ….’
‘Like you said before, it’s been in our family for generations. And I couldn’t stand the thought of someone else cashing in on our tragedy, snapping the place up at a bargain price because of the fire. I didn’t want any gore hunters coming by. Finding a way to use the rumours and lies to make money from what happened to us. To you.’
‘It happened to you as well,’ Jena said. She looked down at their hands, interlinked on the bedcovers. Somehow, Rose’s skin still managed to hold a tan, while Jena’s looked stark and pale in comparison. It didn’t seem right that someone could be so sick and yet still have that healthy glow associated with bronzed skin.
‘It mostly happened to you, little bird,’ Rose said. ‘I know we don’t talk about it, and I know that we’re going to need to. Just not today. Okay?’
‘Yeah, okay.’ Jena looked up at Rose and smiled wanly. ‘I missed you. I missed this.’ She squeezed Rose’s hand, and Rose squeezed back.
‘Me too. Now, I need to rest. I hear you’ve brought a young man with you. I look forward to meeting him at dinner tonight.’ Rose lay back against her pillow and closed her eyes, releasing Jena’s grip and tucking her hands under her blankets.
Jena stood up, dismissed, and headed for the door, wiping tears from her eyes.