Cade was on the landing upstairs, peering at the old photos there.
‘Oh, don’t,’ Jena said as she reached the top of the stairs. ‘You’re going to go looking for an old photo album soon, and the baby pics? I was super chubby, it’s embarrassing, so let’s not do that. Really.’ She came up beside him and slipped under his arm, tucking herself against his body. But she couldn’t make herself look at the pictures just yet.
‘You don’t talk about them a lot. I mean, I get it. But I feel like I know nothing about your family and yet here we are, surrounded by images of them.’
Jena’s stomach clenched. She didn’t want to get into it with him here, but then, she’d come for answers and perhaps this was the first step. Both to solving her past and to bringing Cade into the more intimate parts of her life. She slipped her fingers down and gripped his hand, squeezing it.
‘Do you want the guided family tour?’ Her voice trembled a little, but he didn’t seem to notice.
‘Oh, I do. Along with, you know, personality quirks.’
She pressed her cheek against his chest for a minute, steeling herself. ‘Okay. Let’s do this.’
Jena faced the wall, scanning for the big family portrait they’d taken, not long before ….
‘Joel.’ She pointed at the photo, where he was swinging on the railing of the bridge. ‘He was cheeky as hell, and hyperactive. Couldn’t stay still for long, always climbing everything.’ She moved her finger down to the baby. Damn, she’d been cute. ‘This is Mandy. The surprise baby. She would cry all night, but when she smiled it made it all worthwhile. At least, I thought so. My uncle said that Dad was tired, maybe that’s why they didn’t notice the fire.’
She hadn’t really been able to remember that when she was a kid, but being here now …. It was coming back to her more; the bags under his eyes, the way his mood had changed.
The strange things he’d sometimes said; things that didn’t make any sense to her.
‘So, was it him who started the fire? Snapped because he was sleep deprived?’ Cade asked, his grip around her waist tightening comfortably, drawing her back to the now. ‘You’ve never said. I don’t know if you realise that, but you haven’t. Just that there was a fire and they died.’
‘That’s the thing. I don’t really know either.’ She shrugged, as though it wasn’t really a big deal. ‘I was young and Rose wouldn’t talk about it. I can’t … I can’t remember a lot, but I think he took us all down there. He went back to the house for something, and I needed to pee so I went outside into the bushes. When I came back, it was all in flames.’
She didn’t mention the birds. She didn’t want to think about the birds. About how they had swarmed her, stopping her from getting close. About the taste of their feathers in her mouth and their claws, tearing at her nightie, her skin.
She shuddered, pushing all of those memories back into the box inside her head. Cade hugged her even tighter.
‘So that’s him?’ He pointed to her father. He’d had a mop of brown hair and was the picture of a Kiwi farmer, even in his Sunday best. At least the flannel shirt was clean, and the overalls absent, a pair of smart blue jeans instead. But he’d still been wearing his gumboots. Jena could remember that, even if they weren’t visible in the photo.
‘Yup, that’s Dad. Mark.’ Jena pressed her lips together. When was the last time she’d spoken his name? ‘And Lucy, my mum.’ She’d looked so happy in that photo, and Jena could imagine why. She had a beautiful family – she’d always wanted that third baby – things were starting to look up on the farm. Everything was okay.
Except it hadn’t been. Not really. Something had stirred in the undercurrents of her family and she’d had no idea.
‘He doesn’t look like a killer. Do you think he did it?’ Cade’s voice sounded like it was being filtered through water, but Jena forced herself to respond. She stiffened, clenching her teeth together and clamping her eyes shut.
Had her father lit the fire? She could smell the smoke, even now; a wisp of it caught in her nostrils. Sometimes she liked to think that it was the Dark Man. Someone outside their family.
Not her dad. Not her.
‘I don’t know, not for sure, but I’m going to find out. Rose knows and it’s time she told me the truth. I don’t want to think that Dad could have done anything bad to us, but ….’ She swallowed the words, pushed down the vague memories, the dreams, and turned into his arms, looking up at him. ‘It’s not enough. I need to know for sure.’
Cade peered down at her, his eyes full of sympathy. ‘Yeah, I can see that.’ He kissed her forehead. ‘So, what’s the plan?’
‘The plan is … you be your charming self at dinner tonight, because you’re meeting Rose. Is it strange that I feel like a kid again? We’ve never done the thing where she meets my boyfriend.’ Jena scrunched up her face.
Cade shrugged. ‘I don’t think I’m the right person to ask. My family is pretty fucked up too. Just, you know, be you. You’re awesome. And she is your grandmother. Who sent you away. She doesn’t get to be mean about your choices.’
Jena raised an eyebrow. ‘Please don’t bring that to the dinner table. Charming, remember? I know you can do charming.’
‘It’s how I won you over,’ Cade said with a smirk. He leaned down and kissed her, running the fingers of one hand through her hair while his other hand slid down to her butt.
She flicked it off and pulled away. It wasn’t that she didn’t need the distraction – and Cade was a very good distraction – but she couldn’t go from talking about whether her father was a killer to making out.
‘Not here, oh my god. Will could come up. He’s stealthy!’ She glanced over her shoulder at the stairs for emphasis.
Cade just smiled and took her hand, pulling her into the bedroom and closing the door behind her. He kissed her neck and she moaned, tilting her head back to give him better access; maybe a distraction wasn’t such a bad thing. But then her gaze landed on the stars on the ceiling and she froze.
‘No, come on. I can’t do this. Not here.’ She pushed away from Cade, wrapping her arms around herself. ‘It seems wrong. The last time I was here I wasn’t even thinking about boys and now my grandmother is dying on the floor beneath us. I can’t.’
‘Oh, come on, Jena. You never got to have those rebellious teen years here, why not ….’ He trailed off and started kissing her neck again, but she pushed him away.
‘I mean it. I can’t. Not today.’ She took a step back, ignoring him as he let out a frustrated huff and went to sit on the bed. How could he be thinking about sex right now? Though, when wasn’t he?
Jena should have seen this coming, should have thought it through. Should have left him back at home, because it kind of felt like he might end up being more trouble than help. She sighed and crossed the room, knowing she needed to bridge the gap before he fell into a mood. She sat down beside him. Close, but not so close that he might get ideas. She put her hand on his thigh and squeezed it apologetically.
‘Maybe in a few days, once I’ve got my head around this whole thing. We can go and explore the farm a little, find somewhere nice and secluded.’ She bit her lip and lowered her lashes, knowing that always worked on him.
‘Now, that sounds fun,’ he said, the sparkle coming back into his eyes. ‘I guess I can wait. But just a couple of days, please? You know you drive me wild.’ He growled the word, nipping at her neck.
She laughed and pushed his head away. ‘Lucky you came with me, huh? Or you’d have missed me for days.’ Jena kissed him then, long and slow, a promise of things to come. She pulled away with a sigh, putting a hand on his chest to hold him at bay. ‘I think we should get to work. Weed the garden or something.’
Cade groaned. ‘That sounds awful, but I guess the sooner it’s done the sooner we can get out of here.’
‘That’s the attitude,’ Jena said with a laugh. She stood up from the bed, stretching her muscles. It would be good to do something physical, to feel like she was contributing to something more than just a weekly pay-cheque. This was something that could set her up for life.
‘Hey, do you know if there’s any Wi-Fi here?’ Cade asked. ‘Mobile is chewing my data.’
She turned to see him scowling at his phone. ‘No idea. You really need it that bad?’ She arched an eyebrow. ‘I’ll ask Will. Now get your butt off the bed and come help me.’
‘Fine, fine. But you owe me.’ He reached a hand out and she pulled him up and then towards the door.
She felt like she always owed him for something.