Jena had the chips in the oven by the time Cade came back downstairs. He was clean after showering, and smelled delicious.
‘Did you get a new body wash?’ Jena asked.
‘Nope, same old one. Must be this fresh country air that’s clearing your nostrils out so you can appreciate it more.’ He kissed her on the cheek, his arms wrapping around her waist. ‘Dinner smells good. How long until it’s ready?’
‘Another twenty minutes? The chips need to finish and I need to cook the steak.’
‘I thought I might go and sit with Rose for a bit. Get to know her. She’s your grandmother after all, and we’re practically family.’
Jena turned in his arms and arched an eyebrow. ‘Are we? What happened to having no big commitments?’
‘A guy is allowed to change his mind.’
‘Isn’t that the kind of thing we should talk about?’
‘Nope. You don’t get to tell me what I want. And right now, I want you.’ He kissed her then, and she kissed him back, closing her eyes and leaning into it. His hands slid into her hair. He bit her lip and she gasped at the pain, compounded when he tugged at her hair, his nails dragging against her scalp. Jena pushed against his chest, pulling away to get some space.
‘Little rough, Cade,’ she said, keeping her voice soft and playful. ‘Maybe save it for later.’ She smiled, and then pushed him away. ‘Actually, could you do me a favour? I think there’s some parsley out in the garden and it would be great to have a garnish for the chips.’
‘I was going to go and talk to Rose, though.’ He frowned.
‘Why?’ she asked again with a matching frown. He’d distracted her with that kiss, but it still felt odd that he wanted to go and sit with the old woman. He’d only come because there was money to be made, not to get to know Rose.
‘Like I said, we’re almost family now.’
She smiled, brushing away her niggling concern over his behaviour. ‘When I looked in on her before you came down, she was asleep. We can talk over dinner. She should be up then.’
Cade shrugged and headed for the back door, leaving it open behind him. Jena blew out a long breath. They’d never left the back door open, not when they were kids, anyway. In case the Dark Man came.
Jena thought back to the stories her mother and grandmother had told them as children, about the Dark Man. He hid in the dark places and preyed on the weak, on the ones who didn’t do as they were told. Joel and Jena had spent a lot of time looking for him, but in the end the Dark Man had found them – and it turned out he’d been their father.
She closed her eyes, trying to think back to the time before the barn fire, like she had earlier with Jeremy here. She’d blocked so much of it out, everything from before eclipsed by that tragedy, the loss. But her father had been grouchy. She’d heard them fighting more often, and now from an adult vantage point she could tell that he’d beaten her mother, hurt her in numerous ways. There had been bruises that she’d explained away, and the pain in her eyes, the fear. The looks between her and Rose in those last weeks, all of which had gone completely over Jena’s head at the time.
If she had known then, there would have been nothing she could do about it anyway. But now was a different story. She had control over her life. Or she would.
Jena opened her eyes and grabbed the frying pan, turning the heat up. First, she needed to cook dinner. No one could change their lives on an empty stomach.
***
Rose wasn’t up for dinner. Will was sitting in with her because she refused to see Jena. It hurt a little, but Jena had bigger things to worry about right now, such as clearing out more things around the house.
They’d eaten dinner in front of the TV, watching old home videos. She hadn’t seen them in years, and her chest was tight with emotion.
So far, they’d watched Jena learning how to ride a bike, and Joel’s first birthday. Just short clips that someone had put onto a single videotape for Rose. Then they aged up. Joel was a gangly-legged four-year-old by then, and this clip showed him running around the backyard, flapping his arms like he could take off.
Jena hit pause and scooted off the couch, kneeling in front of the TV before unpausing it. There was something about his pose, something about the way he moved that reminded her of the bird in the swamp, the one that had stopped her from reaching the watch. But Joel wasn’t a bird. He was a dead boy, murdered by his father, burned to ashes by his grandmother. Relegated in Jena’s mind to a dark room with a locked door; until she’d come home, anyway.
‘What are you doing?’ Cade asked. ‘Come back up here.’
She could hear him pat the couch, like she was a dog who should know her place, but she didn’t look at him; she was fixated on the screen and Joel.
He’d been her best friend. And he was gone. Forever. Being back here and remembering all of their shared past had to be why she was imagining the bird had similar qualities, because anything else was crazy. And crazy ran in the family, but she couldn’t think about that right now. She had to stay focused.
Jena clicked the off button and turned to Cade. ‘I’m feeling kind of tired. I think I might just go to bed.’
‘Okay. I’ll be up soon.’ He stayed on the couch as she stood and bent to kiss his cheek, then he grabbed her hand as she went to leave. ‘Don’t go to sleep before I get there.’
Jena pulled her hand from his and nodded, not knowing what to say. She was so caught up in thoughts of her family, but he was going to want to get laid, and she didn’t know if she could fob him off again.
She headed for the stairs and took them two at a time, not stopping to think about the creaks. They didn’t matter now. She had nothing to hide.
Jena brushed her teeth and went to the bedroom, stripping off her clothes until she was in her underwear and reaching for her pyjamas. The door opened and she looked over her shoulder to see Cade. He closed the door, locked it without looking, and then crossed the room, wrapping his arms around her.
‘Hey,’ Jena said. ‘I didn’t expect you up so soon.’ She didn’t allow herself to sink into him, didn’t want to give him the wrong message; instead she pried one of his arms off her and turned away.
Still, he pulled her closer, the bulge in his pants already hard, pressing against her butt cheek.
‘Not tonight,’ Jena said. ‘I’m really tired.’
‘And I really need you,’ Cade whispered, locking an arm around her neck and pulling her against his chest. He licked her neck, nipped it, before biting the lobe of her ear.
Her body betrayed her, a twinge of desire flickering to life. She didn’t want to give in to it though, wanted to hold herself together, hold on to her hurt and pain.
But she didn’t want him to leave again.
He was already tugging at her underwear with one hand, pushing it down to her thighs. She heard the zip on his jeans and went to turn around, but he moved his arm lower, around her breasts, and held her there, rubbing his cock against her bare ass.
‘Oh, come on, you know you like it. You know you want me.’ He sucked on her neck again, biting her in the way he knew she liked, and then harder, making her yelp.
‘Cade!’
He must have taken her exclamation as need because he pushed her forward, bent her over the bed, holding her hips so she was at the right angle and then slipped his fingers inside her and stroked.
Jena pressed her face into the mattress to drown her choked moan, gripped the duvet with her hands and closed her eyes.
She did like this, normally. She could make herself like it now. Faking it was easy. And it did feel good. Her body was responding, getting damp around his fingers. Maybe she did want this.
Right?
Cade pulled back and Jena inhaled, thinking he’d had a change of mind, but then his hand slapped her ass, hard, and she cried out in surprise.
‘You like it a little rough, don’t you, babe?’ Cade slapped her again and she could feel where his fingers had been, knew there would be a red welt there, even tomorrow.
Tears pricked her eyes and she gripped the duvet harder, drawing it towards her, creating a cocoon around her head.
Cade pushed inside her then, thrusting hard and fast, like it was more important than life. Her body responded, pleasure shooting out from her core, softening the tension in her arms. Another moan slipped free, but this one because it felt good. So good. She pushed back into him, groaning in pleasure.
Damn him for making her want it when she didn’t.
Cade flipped her over, pulled her ankles over his shoulders and then drove inside her again. His face was steady, determined, his eyes boring down on her. Dark pools in his pale face.
‘You’re mine, Jena. Mine.’
She closed her eyes, not wanting to see him look at her that way. Then his hands moved up her body, dragging over her breasts, her clavicle, his thumbs stroking her neck.
‘Cade,’ she groaned, running her hands up his forearms. She opened her eyes again, heavy lidded, let her lips part, arched her back, hoping these little acts of lust would drive him over the edge. Make him come.
Get him off her.
But instead his fingers slid under her neck, his thumbs pressed down, crushing her windpipe, making it harder to breathe.
‘Cade?’ It came out a whisper, a gargle. She moved her hands, clutched his wrists and tried to pry him off her but he leaned in, pressed harder, never stopping his rhythmic pounding, driving into her hard and fast, his face impassive, his gaze intense.
He didn’t say a thing, just pressed and pressed and pressed until she was sure he was going to cut all oxygen off, keep squeezing until she was dead. She dug into the soft skin on his arm with her nails, but the lack of air made her feel weak, made her head spin, her vision blur.
She could feel every sensation in her body: the weight of him pressing through his fingers, the rough thrusting of his cock, his thighs slamming against her ass, the constricted veins in her neck, the flush of desperation in her cheeks.
He increased his speed now, shorter thrusts, shorter and faster and oh god.
She tried to scream, to cry out in ecstasy and horror as she came hard, her muscles clenched, gripping him as tightly as he’d gripped her, overwhelmed, horrified, by the catastrophic orgasm that ripped through her body.
He slumped onto her chest, his hands dropping away, her lungs dragging in air, fast and frantic, like they thought they’d be starved again.
Jena lay there, let her arms drop to her sides, felt the backs of her legs sag against the end of the bed, tried to slow her breathing and tell herself that everything was okay.
It had been good. Like, really good. Because you only orgasmed that hard when it was good, and he’d just been making it good for her. He’d never really hurt her. Not like her dad had hurt her mum.
Right?
She was torn between wanting to push him off and yell at him, ask him what the fuck that was all about, and just lying there, accepting it. Letting her breath drift back to normal, pretending like they were into kinky shit, and that even though they’d never talked about this it was only meant as fun.
‘That was so hot,’ Cade murmured against her chest. ‘You’re so fucking hot.’
‘Mmm,’ she murmured, absent, quiet.
Cade rolled off her and then stood up, stretching his back before he tucked himself back into his jeans and did up the fly. ‘I think I need a shower after that.’ He leaned down and kissed her cheek and then headed for the door.
Jena didn’t move until she felt the trickle of sperm running down her thigh. She dragged her knickers back up and shoved her pyjama top against her mouth to stop herself from screaming.
Focus on the pleasure. It was good. Intense.
Maybe she’d told him she wanted to try something like that sometime, when they were both drunk and fooling around. He had slapped her ass before, just never that hard.
Maybe this meant they were getting closer to each other, letting their true selves out.
But if that was Cade ….
Did she want the real him?