Christmas Eve
Birmingham, 8:40 p.m.
The second glass of wine on top of the beer she’d had at the pub was a bad idea.
Exhaustion. Dehydration. No dinner. Jess was already down three strikes before she started and still she hadn’t said no. That was the problem, when it came to Dan she’d never been able to say no.
Otherwise she wouldn’t be here in his urban apartment, snuggled on the worn comfortable leather sofa listening to him talk about his work.
“I kept both the mayor and the chief of police out of trouble on that one. Not an easy task, I can tell you. But I love it.”
Jess laughed, knowing that was what he expected. Truth was she wasn’t even assimilating the words. She was too busy watching his face, listening to his voice.
It was just plain wrong that after a whole decade he could mesmerize her as if she were seventeen again. As if they’d never fallen apart.
“I’m not saying another word,” he announced, that smile teasing her.
She blinked. Had she missed something? “What?” She sipped her wine. Hoped she hadn’t ignored a response cue.
“I’ve spent the last half hour talking about nothing but work—my work.” He poured himself another glass of wine, set the nearly empty bottle back on the coffee table. “You’re supposed to be telling me about you.”
He grinned and her heart squeezed so tight she feared it would just stop beating altogether. “You said you’d just gotten a big promotion. I want to know what’s it like to be Special Agent Jess Harris, field investigator for the F...B...I.”
While she struggled to summon the ability to speak, he freshened her glass, emptying the last of the wine from the bottle. At this rate she’d need a cab to get to Lil’s.
“Actually,” she said finally, “I’m a profiler now.”
“Hey! That’s the job you always talked about.” She didn’t miss the glimmer of regret in his eyes before he smiled. “Congratulations.” He tapped his glass to hers.
The sincerity in his voice made her happier than she would admit in a million years despite that fleeting look of regret she was sure she’d seen. Whatever else he felt, somehow his approval still meant a great deal to her. Not a good thing. “Thank you.”
“Well?” he prompted, a big grin stealing her breath all over again. “Tell me more.”
Surrendering to the inevitable, she kicked off her shoes and curled her feet under her to get more comfortable. She told him about BAU and her boss, Gant. The more she talked the more she had to say. It was as if they were back in college sharing future plans. The words poured out of her.
When she finally shut up he just stared at her. During that seemingly endless moment she wanted more than anything in this world for him to be proud of her.
“Jess.” The pride that filled his eyes made her pulse flutter erratically. “I am genuinely happy for you.” He stared at his glass for a moment and she knew he was remembering. “You knew what you wanted and you made it happen. You said you would and you did.”
She’d had just enough to drink to admit that something else she’d always wanted was him... but she would take that secret to her grave. She touched her throat. Almost had.
“Sometimes,” she confessed, “I wake up and I have to remind myself it’s real.” Images and voices from cases she had worked passed through her mind. None were pretty. But they represented success and accomplishment, two things that meant a great deal to her. More importantly, they meant justice for the innocent.
“You have a boyfriend?” One corner of his mouth quirked. “A husband I haven’t heard about?”
She downed a big gulp of wine before she attempted to answer that one. The sweetness fizzed in her throat. Her head spun just a little. “No boyfriend. No husband.” She’d noticed he wasn’t wearing a wedding band. And the tour of his place hadn’t revealed any indications of a female presence. “What about you? Wife? Kids?”
The idea that he might have a child pained her somehow.
Dumb, Jess.
“No wife. No kids. Not even a girlfriend.” He looked away a moment. “I had a very unpleasant divorce a few months ago.” He shrugged, made a disparaging sound. “The good news is I lived through it and life goes on.”
Seemed an odd way to describe surviving a divorce. “It does indeed.” No one knew that better than her. A subject best left alone. She cleared her throat. Time for a less sensitive topic—if not a less painful one. “How’s your father and... your mother?”
He smiled. “Nice of you to ask, Agent Harris.”
Jess couldn’t help a chuckle. “Despite popular opinion, I would never wish your mother ill will.”
“Katherine is Katherine,” he said. “She stays busy with one charity event or another and that makes her happy. My father and I are both grateful.”
“I’m certain she’s pleased to have you helping out whenever possible.”
“More importantly,” he countered, “I’m pleased. When Mother isn’t consumed with a project, she’s lining up social activities for my father or, worse, playing matchmaker for me.”
That shouldn’t have bothered Jess but it did. “She wants her only son to be happy.” There was no ignoring the hint of bitterness in her tone and she hated herself for letting it show. “Lil does it to me all the time,” she added for cover, hoping he wouldn’t notice her slip.
“That’s what mothers and sisters do I guess.” He set his glass on the table. “My father’s doing great. He’s thinking of retiring.”
Dan senior was too young for retirement. Worry cleared the resentment she felt whenever Katherine Burnett came to mind. “Is he okay?”
“A mild heart attack a few months ago but he’s good now. He’s following the doctor’s orders. I’d be willing to wager he’s in better shape now than me.”
Why hadn’t Lil told her? Then again, she hadn’t mentioned Dan’s divorce either. Possibly Lil hadn’t mentioned anything related to the Burnett family because Jess had told her over and over that it had been ten years. She had moved on. Lil was only honoring Jess’s wishes.
Still made her mad. How ridiculous was that?
“I’m glad he’s doing well.” Wow. It seemed impossible they were talking about Dan’s father and a heart attack. As the saying went, time marched on and everything changed. People grew older. Lil’s kids hardly knew their Aunt Jess.
The surge of regret that accompanied that last thought had her wishing she hadn’t let so much time pass without spending more of it with the people she cared about.
“Don’t do that.”
She frowned before she could stop the reaction. “Do what?” She savored more of the wine, pretending not to know what he meant. She couldn’t change how much time she’d let slip by but she was here now, she told herself for the tenth time.
“Don’t beat yourself up for not being around,” Dan said gently. He knew her too well. “You went after your dream and you made it happen. You did it, Jess. I guess you didn’t need me after all.”
For about five seconds she couldn’t speak, couldn’t move. His words stabbed through her and the ability to respond deserted her.
“This was nice, but I do have to go.” Somehow she was on her feet. She placed her glass on the table next to his, grabbed her purse and hurried across the room for her coat. Why in the world had she let this happen? This visit was about her sister and her family. Taking this unexpected detour was ridiculous and selfish. Foolish tears stung her eyes.
Oh hell. He’d done it now. Dan caught her at the door. She jerked away from his touch. “I’m sorry, Jess. That was my guilt talking. It was me. Not you.”
All this time he’d wished they could make amends and the first chance that comes along he screws it up! Had to be the wine or just plain stupidity.
“Don’t leave like this,” he pleaded. The last thing he wanted was for another ten years to pass with these bad feelings standing between them.
She held up a hand in a stop gesture. The anger in her eyes shouted clearly and loudly that she wanted away from him. “It was good to see you, Dan. But I really do have to go.”
Jesus Christ. He’d done it. Hurt her all over again. He was a damned fool. “I understand.”
She reached for the door. “Good night.”
But he couldn’t let her go without trying to make this right. He put his hand over hers when she would have opened the door. “Merry Christmas, Jess. Seeing you tonight means more to me than you will ever know.”
She hesitated and then looked up at him with those sweet brown eyes. His heart lurched. “Merry Christmas,” she murmured.
Every part of him yearned to say more... to touch her... to taste her. Unable to resist, he leaned closer.
Her breath caught, even that soft sound made him crazy with need.
His lips touched hers and desire rushed through him. All those old feelings resurrected, made him ache for her in ways he knew would never be possible again.
Her purse and coat hit the floor and he pulled her soft body into his arms.
She would hate him for taking advantage of the moment but he was helpless to stop himself.
Jess was home and that was all that mattered.