Two days later Jenna was in the hallowed territory of the school principal’s sitting room, facing Olivia Masters across a hearth filled with dried flowers. Also present were Mr. Charles, Miss Willis, head of the pastoral team, and an elegantly dressed woman who’d been introduced as Judith Merchant, Olivia’s aunt.
The call inviting Jenna to attend the start of what was being termed restorative justice proceedings had come late yesterday afternoon.
“But I thought restorative justice was supposed to be about seeing someone face-to-face,” Paige had protested when Jenna had told her about it, “so why can’t I be there?”
“All I can tell you,” Jenna replied, “is that Olivia’s asked to see only me at this stage. But apparently this is just the start, so I’m sure you’ll be included further down the line.”
“What about Dad? Is he going?”
“No. Just me.”
“So who else will be there?”
“I don’t know at the moment.”
Now, as Jenna gazed at Olivia’s pale, almost translucent complexion, taking in how stiffly she was holding herself—back ramrod straight, hands clasped together in her lap—she couldn’t help noticing how distant, or perhaps detached, she seemed. She was certainly a beautiful girl, with lustrous blond hair hanging loosely about her shoulders and a perfect oval face, yet the glimpses Jenna had caught of her almond-shaped eyes had shown a girl who seemed disturbingly empty inside.
Empty and cruel?
Apparently suicidal.
With everyone seated, Mr. Charles opened the proceedings. “Olivia wants to explain her part in what happened to Paige. When you’ve heard what she has to say, I’m sure you’ll realize, Mrs. Moore, what tremendous courage it is taking for her to be here today.” To Olivia he said, “If at any time you want to stop, you must simply give the word.”
Olivia’s eyes stayed down as she gave a barely perceptible nod.
Not thrilled by the way this girl, who’d tried to persuade Paige to end her life, was receiving so much consideration, almost being treated as a victim herself, Jenna regarded her coolly. She guessed she was the victim of something if she’d tried to end her life.
Judith Merchant whispered something into her niece’s ear. Whatever it was, it seemed to make Olivia shudder. A moment later the girl nodded again.
“My niece would like me to speak on her behalf,” Judith said to Jenna. “If you want to ask any questions, either she or I will be happy to answer if we can.”
As Jenna looked from one to the other she couldn’t help wondering why Olivia’s parents weren’t attending this meeting, lending the support their daughter so clearly needed.
“The reason Olivia befriended your daughter through an alias,” Judith began, “is complicated, though I believe not hard to understand.” She let a moment pass as she squeezed Olivia’s hand. “She singled Paige out because she was jealous of her,” she stated.
Jenna felt a beat of confusion.
“To explain,” Judith continued, “Paige has everything Olivia has always dreamed of: she’s pretty, popular, intelligent, and has a way of bonding with others that Olivia has long craved but never had the confidence to attempt.”
Though Jenna wanted to point out that the girl was exceptionally pretty and a gifted student where music was concerned, she sensed that confidence was probably more of an issue than looks or ability.
“Paige is also part of a close and loving family,” Judith went on. “It’s this blessing, perhaps more than anything else, that drew Olivia to your daughter. She wanted to be Paige, or connect with her in a way she’d never managed with anyone else, but coming from the place she was in, she was afraid to get close. So her brother, Owen, befriended Paige in the hope of helping his sister in a somewhat vicarious way to get to know Paige. He’d talk to Olivia about her and what he knew of the relationship she had with you and your family, how happy you all seemed, what a noisy and loving house Paige lived in with her brothers and sister. As far as Olivia was concerned, Paige had the perfect life, and the kind of character she admired above all others. She wasn’t afraid to stand up and be noticed at school; she wasn’t too nervous to answer questions, or take part in a drama, or play on a sports team, or do whatever else was asked of her. Anything she became engaged in had the backing of her friends and, most importantly, of her parents.”
As Jenna watched Olivia, so still and withdrawn, she was starting to pick up on a dispiriting remoteness, a kind of darkness even, that seemed to swallow her.
What was it with this girl?
“Olivia wanted desperately to be a part of Paige’s world,” Judith pressed on. “She wanted to matter to Paige in a way she felt she didn’t to anyone else. So she came up with the only way she could think of to make Paige interested in her. Or perhaps I should say, to make Paige depend on her. She thought if she could turn everyone against Paige, that Paige would eventually start to believe that Julie Morris—the name Olivia gave herself—was her only friend.”
Jenna was still staring at Olivia, waiting for the girl to look at her, but Olivia didn’t lift her head.
“Olivia began her efforts,” Judith went on, “by hacking into Paige’s Facebook account to make it look as though Paige was accusing Owen of being gay. Owen knew what she was doing and helped her, even though he was terrified of revealing his personal truth. It wasn’t so much his friends’ reaction he was afraid of as how his father would take it, but I’ll come to that. To continue with the posting, Olivia’s plan to befriend Paige could have backfired right there, and probably would have if Kelly Durham, the school bully, hadn’t jumped on it and started a campaign against Paige that apparently gained its own momentum.”
Jenna said nothing, simply waited for the woman to continue.
“So Olivia outed her brother on Facebook, and instead of turning against him, everyone turned against the friend they thought had betrayed him. It was what Olivia hoped would happen, because it provided her with a way of offering friendship.”
Jenna was quietly stunned. How could a girl of Olivia’s age be capable of devising such Machiavellian manipulation, never mind carrying it out? “Where on earth did you think all this was going to lead you?” she asked Olivia curtly.
Though Olivia’s eyes came briefly to hers, she didn’t answer.
“I’m not sure Olivia had really thought it through at that point,” Judith said for her.
Jenna waited for Olivia to contradict or confirm that, but she was apparently going to do neither.
Judith continued, “It was largely through Owen, who became a part of Kelly Durham’s set, that Olivia was able to warn Paige what was about to happen to her, or offer comfort after it happened.”
“Why didn’t you just report it?” Jenna demanded forcefully. “You’d brought about a dreadful, terrifying situation for my daughter. How could you possibly call yourself a friend? You weren’t even who you were claiming to be.”
Though Olivia flushed, she didn’t reply. Her aunt said, “I need to explain my niece’s home situation. For many years she has been the victim of her parents’ bullying, as has Owen, though it’s been worse for Olivia. So bad that she doesn’t always evaluate situations the way the rest of us do. She has been severely affected by the abuse, which is both mental, physical, and sexual. The damage it’s done…” She took a breath that was almost a sob. “I’ve had my suspicions, of course, but living so far away…”
Jenna’s eyes moved to Olivia. Naturally she felt pity for what she’d been through, but she couldn’t ignore what she’d done to Paige.
“It was after a particularly brutal episode at home,” Judith continued, “that Olivia was online with Paige and Paige began saying that she couldn’t take any more of the bullying. This was when Olivia suggested they should take a way out of their misery together.”
Jenna looked at Olivia again. No matter how damaged the girl was, she had to be made to understand that it wasn’t possible to get away with what she’d almost done.
“After Olivia arranged to meet Paige last Friday morning,” Judith was saying, “she took a bus to Rhossili, in spite of having told Paige to go to Whiteford Sands. Olivia wanted to pay a last visit to her grandmother’s grave at St. Mary’s. While she was there her father found her and took her home, where he shut her in her room, confiscated her phone and computer, and left her there while he and his wife, my sister, drove Owen to a healer in North Wales to have him cleansed of his sins—his sins being his homosexuality.”
Jenna shuddered inwardly. What kind of parents were they, for God’s sake? How could they behave in such a monstrous way to their own children? Cleansed for being a homosexual? Raping their own daughter?
“It was Saturday evening before Olivia managed to break out of her room,” Judith continued. “When she did, she went to the bathroom, smashed open the cabinets, and swallowed every pill she could find. Her parents returned early the next morning with Owen. When they realized what had happened they refused to call for help. Whether they’d actually have allowed Olivia to die I can’t say, but thank God Owen snatched his father’s phone, locked himself in a downstairs bathroom, and dialed 999. He was still in the bathroom when the police and ambulance services turned up, and he wouldn’t come out until they’d managed to convince him his parents had gone.”
As a deep and terrible silence fell over the room, Jenna watched tears sliding silently down Olivia’s cheeks. To her surprise the girl spoke then, her voice soft and feathery, her hand still holding tightly to her aunt’s.
“I’d have gone to Paige that night if I could,” she said, “not to carry out what we’d planned, but to see her, persuade her that it wasn’t the right way out for her. I was going to tell her about me, what my parents have been doing to me and Owen. I wanted to ask her to tell someone, but it was too late. There were no buses at that time of night and I had no other means of getting there. I tried to find my phone and computer, but I couldn’t, and we don’t have a landline at home. So I sat down and wrote a note for my aunt Judith that she never got. I guess my parents destroyed it before anyone could find it.”
“I haven’t been allowed to see my niece and nephew since my mother died,” Judith told Jenna, “and that was over ten years ago.” She tried to swallow. “The abuse has been going on since then,” she said shakily. “As I said, I was always afraid of it, but I had no proof, and my brother-in-law, being a senior executive at the council, knows how to deal with social services. Nevertheless, I should have tried harder. I suppose I just couldn’t make myself believe that my own sister would go along with it. I know now that she was as bad as him.” As she put an arm around Olivia, Jenna noticed the girl stiffen before she relaxed.
“Olivia and Owen were incredibly brave on Monday,” Judith continued. “They spent most of the day talking to the police, telling them everything that had happened to them. Owen had contacted me on Sunday, so I was with them while they were interviewed, and it’s being arranged now for them to come and live with me.”
Jenna’s eyes moved to the headmaster. This would clearly release him from having to take any action over Olivia’s part in what had happened to Paige. He’d be relieved about that. Whether she was too, she’d only know when she’d had time to digest it all. “What’s happened to your sister and her husband?” she asked Judith.
“They were arrested on Monday,” Judith told her, “and they’re probably going to be charged sometime today. If they’re bailed out, it’s very probable a restraining order will be issued to keep them away from the children. However, we don’t want to run any risks, so we’ve decided it would be best for Olivia and Owen to be as far away from here as I can take them, just in case their parents are released.”
“Where do you live?” Jenna asked.
“In Kent, close to Deal. There’s a lovely school not too far away where Olivia can continue with her music, and hopefully she and Owen will be able to make a fresh start in a new environment with new friends and an aunt who’s desperate to give them all the love they deserve.”
Jenna hoped they could receive some therapy too, while wondering if they could ever fully recover from such a terrible start in life. She looked at Mr. Charles and Miss Willis before saying to Olivia, “I’d like to tell Paige what I’ve heard here today. I think she has a right to know.”
Olivia regarded her with wary, haunted eyes.
“You said you were going to tell her yourself,” Jenna reminded her.
“It’s going to come out sooner or later,” Judith said softly to her niece, “and I know you don’t want Paige to suffer any more than she already has. An explanation could be very helpful.”
Olivia turned back to Jenna. “OK,” she whispered shakily.
As the girl leaned in to her aunt’s shoulder, Jenna could see how tired she was, and heaven only knew what else was going on inside her. Deciding there was nothing to be gained from prolonging this any further, she got to her feet. “Thank you for your honesty,” she said, sounding both gentle and firm. “I realize this can’t have been easy for you.”
Olivia didn’t respond; her head was down again.
“Knowing Paige,” Jenna continued, “there’s a chance she’ll want to see you once I’ve told her what you’ve been through. Would you allow it?”
Olivia looked up at her aunt.
“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Judith murmured.
To Jenna, Olivia said, “Please tell Paige that I’m very sorry for everything. I wish we could have been proper friends. She’s someone…she’s…” As her voice failed, fragmented with tears, her aunt pulled her into a closer embrace.
Outside in the corridor Miss Willis said to Jenna, “Thank you for coming today.”
Jenna turned to her. “As affected as I am by all I’ve heard, I’m sure you realize that Paige is still my main concern.”
“She’s ours too,” Miss Willis assured her, “but we can only take this process one step at a time. Please try to understand that.”
“I do, but I’d like to know that a part of that process doesn’t involve Paige sitting in a room with Kelly Durham to engage in restorative justice.”
“I’ll admit it’s been discussed,” Miss Willis told her, “but so far Kelly and her mother are resisting.”
Unsurprised and relieved, Jenna said, “I think I should make it clear that if Kelly Durham stays at this school, Paige won’t be coming back.”
“I understand your feelings, of course, but we have to give children a chance, even those who have as long a history as Kelly’s of intimidation and harassment.”
“Bullying,” Jenna corrected. “Please let’s call it what it is. And I can’t help wondering how big a role her grandfather’s donations to the school play in keeping her here. I imagine he’s already made another to try to brush this under the carpet too.”
Miss Willis flushed. “You’re right, he has, and I can tell you that it has been refused.”
Impressed, and hoping it was true, Jenna eyed her closely, waiting for more.
Sighing, Miss Willis said, “It’s sad but undeniable that some children derive a certain amount of pleasure from cruelty. Whether that’s down to their upbringing or to a psychological or psychiatric disorder isn’t always possible to say. It’s also true that some grow out of it, while others don’t.”
“Kelly Durham is fifteen going on sixteen and you’ve just said yourself that she has a long history of bullying, so do you think she’s going to grow out of it?”
Clearly discomfited, Miss Willis said, “That’s not for me to say. Hopefully, though, speaking to Olivia has shown you how complex the problem of bullying can be, especially when it comes to punishment.”
“In Olivia’s case I understand that punishment is difficult, but she still needs to know that what she did was wrong.”
“I agree, and I want to assure you that we aren’t just letting it go. As for Kelly…There are several options open to us, but, of course, we need to carry out extensive enquiries before any decisive action can be taken.”
Angrily Jenna said, “I’m glad you’ve got Kelly’s welfare so close to your heart. Now tell me where Paige’s is, because she was the victim in all of this, and just about everyone at this school knows it. So exactly what sort of message do you think it’s going to send to other bullies if you keep Kelly here or drag out some pointless investigation into the kind of cruelty that has to be punished?”
Miss Willis was finally moved to say, “It would be a wrong message, of course, and between us it’s more or less certain that Kelly will be asked to leave. I just don’t like to give up on a child until all avenues of rescue have been explored.”
“Which is admirable, and your job. It’s also your job to make sure my daughter is safe while she’s on these premises.”
“Indeed, and I want you to feel assured that we greatly value Paige here at The Landings. I know she hasn’t been here as long as most, but her contribution has always been a hundred percent whether in her studies, her community projects, or the various other ways she involves herself in representing the school, which is why we most certainly don’t want to lose her.”
“Then you really have to make sure that the right decisions are taken before the start of next term,” Jenna retorted, and with a polite but cool little nod she left.
“I’d give Kelly Durham the chance if she wanted to go face-to-face,” Paige declared rashly, after Jenna had finished telling her about her visit to the school.
“You’d sit down in the same room as that girl and—”
“Listen to her explain herself and apologize? Yes, why not? She wouldn’t mean it, but I think she ought at least to be made to do it.”
Exasperated, and yet unable to suppress a smile, Jenna said, “Well, it seems she’s not willing, so at the moment it’s not likely to happen.”
Paige merely shrugged, and after a while her eyes took on the intense, oddly baffled look they’d had while Jenna had been telling her about Olivia. “It’s a shame Olivia doesn’t want to meet,” she remarked, “but I’m not sure what I’d say to her if we did. It’s really terrible what she’s been through. I mean, we always thought their parents were a bit strange, you know, never speaking to anyone or allowing anyone into the house. Do you think they had a special place where they did all the abuse? Do you know what sort of…?”
“No, I don’t know the details of what they did, and we certainly don’t need to be making them up for ourselves. It’s enough to know that it happened, and that those dreadful people are going to be made to pay for their crimes.”
Paige nodded vaguely. “I understand now why she said her mum was dead,” she commented. “It’s because she wished it was true.” Her eyes came to Jenna’s. “It’s funny—well, sad, actually—that she picked on me because she thought our family was so perfect. I suppose Dad hadn’t gone then, so she didn’t know it was all an illusion.”
“What she probably didn’t realize,” Jenna said, “is that no one’s family is as perfect as they might seem from the outside. Everyone has their issues.”
“Charlotte’s family seems pretty up together,” Paige replied. “So does Cullum’s.”
“Cullum lost his mother a couple of years ago,” Jenna reminded her, “and I happen to know they’ve all had quite a struggle trying to get over it.”
“Because Richard told you?”
“Yes.”
“He seems a really nice man.”
“He is.”
Paige drifted again, apparently losing herself to more inner reflections. “That still leaves Charlotte,” she pointed out in the end.
Jenna’s smile was wry. “Not everyone has to be dealing with issues all of the time,” she responded, “and if we’re really lucky, they hardly come along at all.”
“So we’re not very lucky.”
“Not lately, but it’ll change. In fact, I have some news I can share with you, if you like, that I think you might want to hear.”
Paige eyed her carefully, clearly still too bruised by her experiences to allow herself to think positively.
“Actually there are two pieces of news,” Jenna corrected. “The first won’t interest you quite as much, but here goes: I spoke to my agent on the way home, and apparently an American film company wants to buy an option on Poetry Emotion.”
Paige frowned. “What does that mean?”
“It means they’re interested in turning it into a movie, provided they can raise the money.”
Paige’s eyes rounded. “That is totally awesome,” she cried. “Oh my God, does it mean we’ll be going to Hollywood?”
“Wouldn’t that be wonderful?” Jenna laughed.
“I know—let’s go through the book and decide who we think they should cast.”
Liking the sound of that, Jenna hugged her tightly. Suspecting the best way to handle the next piece of news would be to treat it as if it were no big deal, she began unloading the dishwasher as she said, “The other call I received on my way home was from Oliver Pryce. He’s wondering if he can come and see you.”
Paige’s jaw dropped as she stared at her mother in disbelief.
Jenna pretended not to notice. “I said to come about five,” she added casually. “I hope that’s OK.”
“You did what? Mum! You said what?”
Jenna regarded her, all innocence. “Would you like me to change it?” she offered.
“No! I mean, yes. Josh and the twins’ll be home by then.”
“No they won’t. Dad’s taking them to TGI Fridays.”
At the mention of her stepfather Paige’s face clouded, but only for a moment. “Oh my God,” she said, gulping, as she tried to think what to do. “Mum, do you have any idea…? I mean, I never told you this, but he is like…”
“It’s OK, I know.” Jenna smiled.
“What? How do you know?”
“I’m your mother. Mothers know everything.”
Paige’s eyes narrowed. “That would be seriously spooky if I didn’t know it wasn’t true.”
Laughing, Jenna said, “You’ve got an hour to make yourself presentable.”
“That is so not long enough.” Dashing up the stairs with Waffle hard on her heels, Paige almost shut him out in her haste to FaceTime Charlotte while she put on her makeup and tried to decide what the heck she was going to wear—never mind what she was going to say!
It was five minutes to five when Paige reappeared in the kitchen, her makeup so carefully applied it might have been done by a professional, and her white ruched top and her best jeans, the ones with rips in the knees, enjoying their first outing since purchase. She was so nervous and excited she almost squeezed her grandmother as Kay came in the door, asking what Richard’s son was doing hanging around outside.
“He’s already here?” Paige gasped.
“He’s obviously keen to see you,” Jenna commented.
“Don’t say that,” Paige snapped. “Just don’t.”
Jenna held up her hands. “You look lovely,” she told her.
“Are you sure? I couldn’t make up my mind between this top and the red one we got in New Look. I thought this one made me look a bit more…you know.”
“Definitely,” Jenna assured her.
“What do you think, Grandma?”
“Oh yes, definitely,” Kay agreed. “Very you know.”
Since her grandma’s jokes were rare and almost never funny, Paige didn’t even pick up on it. “Shall I invite him in?” she asked.
“I think you should,” Jenna replied.
“But where can we go without everyone listening?”
“There’s only me and Grandma here,” Jenna pointed out, “but if you insist, we can always go and sit in the car.”
“Don’t you dare,” Paige growled, missing the irony again. “Oh my God, I am so nervous. What am I going to say to him?”
“Why don’t you ask what his favorite hobbies are?” Kay suggested.
Paige gawped at her. “Like I’m really going…What are you doing?” she protested as Jenna began steering her toward the door.
“He’s waiting,” her mother reminded her, “and Grandma and I will stay here in the kitchen if you want to bring him in the front door and take him into the sitting room.”
Moments later, wanting the ground to open up and swallow her as a mortifying rush of embarrassment turned her cheeks an unflattering puce, Paige stood staring at Oliver, not sure what to say or do. Since he was leaning against his car with his head down as he texted or checked his phone, he didn’t realize she was there at first. As soon as he did he put his phone away.
“Hi,” he said, starting toward her. “Thanks for agreeing to see me.”
He was so utterly and completely drop-dead that she had no idea how she managed such a casual little shrug as she said, “No problem. I mean, I think my mum agreed for me, but that’s OK.”
With the lift of an eyebrow she’d seen him do on his video when he was singing the words “Are those smiles meant for me,” he said, “Cullum wanted to come with me, you know, to say sorry and everything, but I told him to pick his own time.”
Paige gave a choked laugh, though she wasn’t sure why.
“So how are you doing?” he asked.
“I’m cool. I mean, it was all a bit…you know…”
“Sure. You had us all pretty worried.”
He was worried about me. “It was just dumb,” she said. “Kind of a spur-of-the-moment thing that got out of hand.”
He nodded and came to lean against the wall next to her.
“Do you want to come in?” she offered. It was freezing out here, but no way was she going to put a coat on and cover up what she was wearing.
“I’m here to apologize,” he said, as though he hadn’t heard the invite. “I should have realized what was happening….I mean, I did. Cullum told me, and obviously I got that Kelly and her mates were making out they were you sending messages, putting stuff on my Facebook page, and all that. I should have done something about it, but I didn’t, and so I definitely owe you an apology.”
“It’s OK,” she assured him, her heart so full she could hardly speak. He’d understood it wasn’t her, and now he felt bad for not coming to her rescue, which meant he wished he had. She wished he had too. “It wasn’t up to you to look out for me,” she said.
“Yes it was. I can’t stand it when people are picked on, it really gets to me, and I could have made it stop. Honest to God, I kept meaning to, but there was like this other part of me that kept saying, ‘They’re just messing around, trying to get your attention, don’t rise to it.’ ”
“I don’t blame you for thinking that.”
“Kind of arrogant, though.”
“Depends which way you look at it.”
He cast her a glance, and when he smiled she felt her heart turn inside out. “Are you going back to school before the end of term?” he asked.
She shrugged. “I don’t think so. Apparently I don’t have to, but that kind of feels like running away.”
“No one would blame you if you wanted to hang loose for a while. Apart from my brother, who’s desperate for you to do the part of First Voice in the production on Good Friday.”
Paige smiled. “Because if I don’t he’ll have to?”
“I think that’s how it goes. He told me to tell you he’d pay you whatever you asked if you’d agree to do it.”
Though Paige wanted to say she would, if only to prove to Oliver that she was coping with everything, she truly didn’t know if she could face it. “Tell him he’s not rich enough,” she quipped.
Oliver laughed. “OK, I will. It’s kind of unusual having a girl in the part,” he added.
“I’m down for other roles as well, but only minor ones.”
He nodded. “I could never really get my head round that piece.”
Not wanting to sound like a swot, she simply said, “I know what you mean.”
After an awkward pause she went on, “It’s really good of you to come.”
“It seemed the right thing to do, and now I’m glad I did.”
Knowing she’d read massive amounts into that later, she said, “So where are you going now?”
“Home, I guess. I’ve got a load of reviewing to do.”
“When do your exams start?”
“Middle of May, so not long.”
“Will you take a gap year before going to uni?”
“You bet. I’m ready to get away from this place, see a bit more of the world.”
Filled with dismay at the thought of him looking forward to leaving, she said, “Who will you go with?”
“Liam, I expect, and a couple of others.”
It was out before she could stop it. “Lindsay?”
He shook his head. “We’re not together anymore.”
Paige’s heart felt like it was trying to leap out of her body. “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.”
“It’s cool. It was kind of coming for a while.” He turned to look at her. “That’s not to say…I mean, you and me…” He was clearly embarrassed and starting to blush.
“No, no, it’s fine,” she assured him. “It’s not what I was thinking.”
“It’s just you’re only fifteen, and I…Well, you get what I’m saying?”
“Sure, I get it,” she said, somehow not blurting out that she was nearly sixteen, and Liam didn’t seem to mind about Charlotte being fifteen. It would look too desperate and really put him on the spot, which would make everything a thousand times worse.
“I’d kind of like it if we were friends, though,” he said. “Or I could be like the older brother you always wished you had.”
Paige tried to smile. Friend? Brother? “What makes you think I always wished that?”
He shrugged. “Just a hunch. But also it might help you to know you’ve always got someone to turn to if anything like this starts up again. I mean, it shouldn’t, because she’s being expelled, isn’t she?”
“I don’t know. Anyway, I’m not sure that’ll stop her coming after me.”
“The first sign of it, you’ve got my number. Cullum’s going to be on the lookout, so he’ll keep me informed even if you don’t.”
Finding herself suddenly horribly close to tears, Paige said, “I probably ought to go in now.”
Pushing himself away from the wall, he said, “Sure. Thanks for coming out.”
“No big deal.”
As she started to walk away he asked, “Hey, if you do decide to do the play on Good Friday, would it be OK if I came?”
She couldn’t turn round or he’d see how upset she was. “I don’t expect I will,” she mumbled, “but I’m sure I’ll see you around.”
Minutes later she was in her mother’s arms, sobbing as though her heart would break. “I wanted him to like me,” she gasped, “but he thinks I’m just a kid.”
“Well, you are three years younger.”
“So what? That’s nothing, and it hasn’t stopped Liam being with Charlotte. He doesn’t fancy me; he just doesn’t want to say so.”
“He wants to be friends, though, and lots of relationships have started that way.”
“No, he wants to be like a brother. That’s different altogether.”
“Not really, because he isn’t your brother and never will be, no matter how close you might become.”
“How are we going to get close if I don’t ever see him?”
“He’s already said he’ll come to the play if you do it,” Jenna reminded her, “so you’d see him then. And we could always invite him and his family over to the Pitcher and Piano after to celebrate.”
“Who says we’re going to the Pitcher and Piano? It’s the first I’ve heard of it.”
“Dad thought it would be a nice idea, if it was what you wanted.”
“So Dad’s coming to the play?”
“Of course. You know he wouldn’t miss any play you’re in.”
“Won’t he be gone back to the States by then?”
“Apparently not.”
Paige’s expression remained mutinous. “I haven’t said I’m going to do it,” she pointed out heatedly, “and now I feel I’m being forced into it.”
“That’s not the case at all. The decision’s entirely yours. I’m just saying that if you do feel up to doing it, we could all go for a little party after to toast your success.”
“You mean after everyone’s booed and shouted at me to get off, or howled because of how bad I sound?”
Jenna frowned. “You read that part beautifully. Everyone thinks so, especially Miss Kendrick, who, by the way, wants to come and see you tomorrow.”
“No way! I want everyone to stop coming to see me. It’s just making everything worse.”
“OK, OK…”
“She’s only going to try and talk me into being in her stupid production, and I don’t want to do it.”
“I promise she won’t pressure you, and actually it’s not why she’s coming. She wants to say sorry for not going to Mr. Charles when you first told her what was happening with Kelly Durham.”
Paige stared desperately at her mother. “I don’t want to see her,” she cried. “I really, really just want to forget all about it.”
“Then that’s what we’ll do for now, but I’m afraid you still have to see a specialist for an assessment of—”
“All right, if I have to I will. I just don’t want to make the whole of the rest of my life about this, because I can’t see how that will help at all.” Tearing herself away, she ran upstairs to FaceTime Charlotte, who’d understand better than anyone how she felt about Oliver not wanting to go out with her, even though he wasn’t with Lindsay anymore.
“I was thinking,” Jack said later that evening after bringing the children home, “I could sit down outside her door and refuse to move until she speaks to me.”
Jenna raised an eyebrow. “She’s out with Waffle at the moment, so it wouldn’t do you much good.”
“You know what I’m saying.”
“Yes, and I know it’s worked in the past, but she’s older now and this is a little different.”
He nodded dejectedly. “I’m running out of ideas here, so if you’ve got any…”
Sighing, Jenna said, “Look, I know you’re in a hurry to try and make amends, but she still needs time.”
“How much time?”
“I’ve no idea. These things don’t run according to a schedule, and she’s been very hurt by your leaving.”
Kay said, “Why don’t you write her a letter? Or send her an email?”
“Saying what?”
“Whatever it is you want to say when she’s ready to talk. If she knows in advance, she might be more willing to listen.”
“Or not,” Hanna muttered.
“Hanna,” Jenna chided.
“Well, what’s he going to do,” Hanna cried, “explain to her that he’s fallen for another woman, so he’s not going to be living with you and the family anymore? She already knows that, so reading it or hearing it isn’t going to make her feel any better about it.”
“She needs to know that his feelings for her haven’t changed,” Jenna told her.
“And you think that’ll help?”
“It can’t do any harm.”
“She’s not a child. He can’t just palm her off with words that aren’t going to mean anything when he’s gone again.”
“So what do you suggest?” Jack asked her helplessly.
Hanna threw out her hands. “It might be a start if you told her you’d made a colossal mistake and want to come home.”
Jenna looked at Jack and decided not to come to his rescue, in spite of not being sure she’d want him back now anyway. She might still love him and wish it was possible to erase these last few months, but she was beginning to realize that she’d lost respect for him, and without that—and trust—they were never going to stand a chance.
“I have to be true to myself,” Jack said quietly.
Hanna’s temper flared again. “And being true to yourself is blowing my sister’s inheritance, almost getting her charged with fraud, making her afraid she was about to lose her home—oh, and shacking up with another woman when you’ve got four children at home. How are you liking that truth, Jack? How well is it working for you? Because I can tell you this, it’s not working for me at all.”
Jack eyed her darkly. “You’ve always had too much to say for yourself, too high an opinion of—”
“Stop,” Jenna cut in sharply, “both of you. The younger ones are just on the other side of that door, and frankly I don’t want to listen to any more of this. All that matters to me is that my children are safe. I understand that matters to you too, Jack—”
“Which is why he shot off to the States,” Hanna interjected.
“And he came back when Paige was in trouble,” Jenna pointed out. “He has a lot of ground to make up with her, there’s no doubt about that, and I’m not paving the way for you, Jack. I’ll do what I can to help her through everything, obviously, and as soon as I feel that a rift between you is having a detrimental effect on her I will get on the case. Until then, think about what she’s just been through, remind yourself that everything’s about her, not you, and for God’s sake start taking her rejection like a man instead of hanging around here feeling sorry for yourself all the time. Oh, and let’s be perfectly clear about this: the real reason you want to hurry up and get back on terms with her is so you can return to the States to be with your mistress.”
“Yes,” Hanna whispered behind her.
Jenna turned to glare at her.
“It needed to be said,” Hanna pointed out.
Kay came to pat her back. “Yes it did, Jenna,” she told her. “I’m sorry, Jack, but it really did.”
“So you’re all ganging up on me now,” he said sourly.
“Yes, we are,” Paige told him from the back door.
As everyone turned round, Jenna asked. “How long have you been there?”
“Long enough,” Paige replied, hanging Waffle’s lead on its hook. “Mum’s right, Dad, you’re only staying until I’ve said it’s all right that you fell for someone else and that I understand, but I’m never going to understand it. Perhaps one day it won’t matter anymore, but right now it does and I’m not going to pretend it doesn’t. You’ve hurt the person I love most in the world, and she really didn’t deserve it. You’ve hurt all of us too, me, Josh, and the twins, and we didn’t deserve it either. That’s not to say I don’t love you, because I know that on some level I still do, but it’ll never be the same between us again, and that’s what I’m finding really hard. You’ve ruined what we had, but instead of understanding that, you seem to think everything’ll be all right just as long as we play by your new rules. Well, it’s not going to happen. It can’t, because what you’ve done has changed everything. I’m Mum’s best friend now, not you, and she’s mine. You can be a part of it, but you’ll never be at the center of it the way you used to be. I expect it’ll be easier for you with Josh and the twins, because they’re younger, but don’t think they won’t know as they get older that you put someone else before them. That’s not me saying I’ll tell them you did, because I won’t; they’ll work it out for themselves, and they’ll realize that we have the best mum in the world who loves us more than anything and would do anything for us, and a dad who loves us and would do anything for us provided it doesn’t get in the way of what he wants. Good luck with that, Dad. I hope it goes well for you, but don’t ask me to forgive you right now, because I can’t.” Leaving them all speechless, she clicked her fingers for Waffle to follow and took herself off upstairs.
Jack’s face was even paler than Jenna’s as he stared at the empty doorway.
In the end, Jenna said, “I hope, when you’ve stopped thinking about how this is affecting you, Jack, that you’ll spare a moment to feel proud of her for being able to speak her mind the way she just did.”
Jack’s eyes came to hers as he said, “I think I already do.”