"People are asleep!" I giggled, gasping as his lips found my neck.
"Don't care," Jameson murmured in my ear. "Need you, right now."
"You promised me a shower and a big soft bed," I complained through my laughter.
"Thought you liked it up against the wall," he growled, pushing me up against it and pressing into me.
The feel of his hardness made me gasp, but I shook my head resolutely. "Where is your room?"
"You're a stubborn one," he complained. "Stop talking now."
His kiss silenced my retort. We stumbled backwards down the darkened hallway of the B&B. My shirt was already half off of me somehow and I think he might have never grabbed his from the beach in the first place. "Room," I chided him as his fingers went to my waistband.
"It's right here," he said, slipping his card into the lock.
I fell back into the room, sending the door slamming into the opposite wall with a resounding bang. I winced, the mom in me forever terrified of loud noises disturbing my baby's sleep. But my baby wasn't here. I was out being reckless and free and wild with a guy who couldn't get enough of me. It was fucking amazing. I felt effervescent, like champagne bubbles were popping in my veins, and everywhere his lips touched made my skin sing. I felt reckless and dangerous doing something like this. Spending the night away from my son...what if he needed me?
"This is taking too long," Jameson growled, sweeping me up into his arms and slamming the door behind him. I shook my head and tried to stuff down the guilt that was threatening to eat away at me and I wrapped my arms around his neck, expecting him to sprint in the direction of the giant white bed the size of an ocean.
But instead he turned and headed into the bathroom.
"What?" I asked. "What are you? Oh!" I clung to him as he bent to turn on the shower, tilting me nearly upside down in the process, but he pulled me back up again with an amused kiss.
"Did you really think I was going to drop you?" he wondered, lowering me gently into the warm spray. "I told you, I've got you."
I licked my lips, feeling warmth that had nothing to do with the shower pool in my belly. "I have to say," I said as he stepped in with me. "Showering was not what I was expecting we'd do first."
"I'm all sandy," he explained, soaping up one of the clothes that were neatly folded on the shelf. "And I don't want to get chafed while I'm fucking you in that bed."
The heat in my belly grew warmer still as he slid the washcloth gently across my breasts. I watched his face as he concentrated, soaping up first one and then the other before sliding it down my belly.
"Ah," I hissed as he slid it between my legs.
"Have to make sure this pretty pussy is clean too," he murmured, rubbing gently. The warmth of water and the friction of the cloth made me sigh and sag into him. "That's right," he whispered in my ear as I let out a moan. "Nice and clean, sweet thing. Do you think you're clean enough down there yet?"
"No," I whined, arching my hips into his hand.
He chuckled and knelt on the floor. The spray of water from the shower ran in rivulets down his skin and I realized I was seeing him naked, clearly, for the first time.
His skin was tanned golden, and the hairs on his arms and chest were a shade lighter. He had a smattering of freckles across his forearms and chest, like a trail of breadcrumbs leading somewhere. I vowed to kiss each one in turn before this night was over. His eyes were such a light blue in places, the same colors as the hazy summer sky and the crinkles in the corners put me in mind of angel wings. Was I drunk? High? Practical Charlie who got shit done would never think of these sorts of comparisons, but then practical Charlie would be home with her son and not leaning back on the cool tile and letting a man she barely knew kiss his way up her thighs before sucking her clit into his mouth.
"Jesus," I moaned as he nibbled and sucked. "You're a maniac."
"And you're delicious," he retorted, slipping his tongue inside of me. "And a little soapy too."
Something bubbled up inside of me, those champagne bubbles in my veins getting bigger and bigger and suddenly I was laughing and crying and coming all at the same time. Emotions swirled around, getting mixed up in my brain as I scratched my nails down his arms. "Fuck, like that, like that," I panted, unsure if the water on my face was from the shower or my own tears.
When he stood back up again, his face was a mask of desire, but when he peered closer at me, it turned to one of concern. "Hey, you okay?" he asked, cupping my face in his hands.
"I don't know," I babbled, still lost in swirl of emotions. "I mean yes, I'm so fucking good, but I'm also feeling so..."
"Different?"
I nodded.
He looked serious. "Me too."
I tilted my head up to meet his gaze. "What is this?"
He shook his head. "I don't know."
"We barely know each other."
"I mean." His voice dropped. "That's technically true, but I don't think it's really true."
"What does that mean?"
"It means I do know you, Charlie." He grabbed my hand, pressing it to his heart. "Don't you know me?"
It was impossible and it was wild. It made no sense. But he kept saying he trusted his gut. Did I? "I think...," something slipped into place and I looked up at him in wonder. "I think I do."
I saw his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed. He turned and twisted the shower off, and then grabbing a towel, he wrapped it around me, carrying me gently to bed just like a baby before lying down at my side.
"This bed is huge," I murmured sleepily, running my hands across the exquisitely soft sheets. As I stared at the ceiling emotions, I had no name for swirled around in my brain, a storm too big for me to comprehend. I blinked a little, gasping a quiet breath and trying to keep the panic at bay, but the next breath came out as a sob.
"Hey," Jameson said, pushing himself up on his elbows and peering into my face. "What's..." he trailed off, eyes darting back and forth as he read the panic in my face.
"Nothing, I'm okay."
"You're lying to me."
"No, I'm not."
He sat up and grabbed my hand. "Don't you ever lie to me, Charlie. Not about how you're feeling, you understand? Now, what's wrong?"
I opened my mouth, but anger at myself choked me and I couldn't get the words out.
His eyes darted across my face. "It's Malcolm, isn't it?"
"I've never spent the night away from him," I gasped, and suddenly I was crying. "I don't get it," I protested. "I want to. I want to be normal with you and just not care..."
He leaned over and kissed me on the nose. "If you didn't care, then you wouldn't be you."
"I'm sorry," I said, sitting up.
"Don't be."
"I wish I could..."
"Stop." He pressed his finger to my mouth.
"But you were going to fuck me in this big bed," I mumbled around his finger. "And you're all hard..."
"I'm fine," he promised. "I'm always hard for you, Charlie." He chuckled a little and then stood up, stretching, treating me to the sight of his abs in the full blazing light of every lamp in the room and for a moment I wondered if I was a crazy person. But then he smiled that kind smile and the corners of his eyes crinkled as he extended his hand. "Come on," he said, helping me to my feet. "Let's bring you home to your boy."