Thank you for your purchase.” Clara smiled at the two Englisher customers.
After handing the women their change, Clara loaded their strawberries and cookies into plastic bags. “Enjoy the rest of your day.” She waved as they climbed into their car and drove off.
Clara turned to Katie Ann. “I can’t believe how many pints of strawberries we’ve sold.” After helping pick and clean strawberries for more than an hour, Clara had taken a turn at the stand.
“I know.” Katie Ann rubbed Hank’s chin as he sat on a stool beside her. “It’s been busy. We’ve raised a lot more money for the Bird-in-Hand Shelter today.”
“Ya, we have.” Clara leaned on the counter in front of her and smiled. It was a perfect day—the sun was shining, she was working at Emma’s house, and she’d managed to convince Jerry to help too. She stood up straight as the last thought echoed through her mind. How was she going to convince him to do something far more important—join the church?
“Hi.” Biena approached them. “I was sent to relieve one of you.”
“Oh.” Katie Ann looked at Clara. “Would it be okay if I went? I haven’t been able to talk to Chris all day.”
“Sure.” Clara gestured toward the barn. “Tell him hi for me.”
“Danki.” Katie Ann rushed off, as if fearing Clara might change her mind.
Biena hopped onto the stool beside Clara and caressed Hank’s ear. His purr grew louder as he tilted his head and closed his eyes. “You really have a gift with mei bruder.”
“What do you mean?” Clara blinked, stunned by the comment.
“This morning when I asked Jerry to drop me off here, I also asked him if he would stay and help. He had every excuse in the book. He even said he was going back to our onkel’s haus to clean his room.” She rolled her eyes. “I’ve never seen his room messy. He’s always kept it neat and tidy.”
She shifted her hand to Hank’s other ear. “I was surprised when I went into Emma’s kitchen and found him there working on the sink. He said you asked him to fix both the sink and the toilet, and that did the trick. You definitely know how to get him to do what you want.”
“It’s no big deal. I just guilted him into using his skills to help Emma.” Clara tried to dismiss the comment as she sat down on the stool beside Biena.
“I think it’s more than that.” Biena smiled at her. “You and Jerry were always gut freinden. I’m not surprised he stayed when you asked.”
“Right.” Clara’s cheeks burned as she looked toward the road. She needed to change the subject before Biena saw right through her confusing emotions.
The truth was she hadn’t stopped thinking about Jerry since he first dropped Biena off at Emma’s house. And she was overcome with excitement when she’d turned around in the market and found him watching her. She was even more thrilled when he offered to drive her to Emma’s house.
When she turned nineteen, and had lost hope that Jerry was ever coming back to the church, she assumed she’d find an Amish man, fall in love, and eventually get married. But none of the young men who asked her to date them had warmed her heart. Her limited relationships had each lasted barely a month. But her heart had awakened since she’d reconnected with Jerry, and the realization scared her to the depth of her soul. How could she allow herself to be attracted to a man who wasn’t Amish—and might never be? She couldn’t bear to think of the hurt it would cause her family.
A car stopped in front of the stand, and she swallowed a sigh of relief. She needed the distraction from her thoughts of Jerry.
A tall woman clad in shorts and a pink T-shirt climbed out of the driver’s seat. “I heard you’re selling the best strawberries in all of Lancaster County.”
“Yes, ma’am! We sure are!” Biena exclaimed.
The woman pulled a wallet from her purse. “I’d like to buy them all.”
“All of them?” Clara asked.
“Yes. I’m planning a big party, and I want to make some strawberry shortcakes.” The woman leaned on the counter. “How many containers do you have?”
Clara looked down on the shelves and counted. “Ten pints,” she said.
“Great.” As the woman began to glance around the shelves, Clara and Biena looked at each other, wide-eyed. “I’ll also take ten trays of your cookies. A variety is fine. How much for all of that?”
Clara calculated the price, and the woman paid before Clara and Biena helped load all the items into her car.
“I’ll go up to the haus for more strawberries,” Clara said after the woman left. “We also need more kichlin. We’re completely out of chocolate chip and macadamia.”
“Okay.” Biena pointed to Hank, who was happily napping on the third stool. “Hank and I will handle business while you’re gone.”
Clara laughed as she started up the driveway. She waved at friends working in the garden before entering the house. When she stepped into the kitchen, she found Emma, Mandy, and Katie Ann washing cucumbers. Baskets of vegetables and fruits lined the kitchen table.
“We’re out of strawberries and chocolate chip and macadamia kichlin,” Clara announced.
“I’ll have to make more kichlin in the morning,” Mandy said. “It’s too hot to turn on the oven now.”
“And we’re out of baskets for the strawberries,” Katie Ann said. “We can’t sell more until we get some.”
“I’ll take you to the store.”
Clara turned to see Jerry standing in the doorway to the mudroom. He seemed larger than life with his wide shoulders and tall stature, and his dark-blue T-shirt accentuated his bright, intelligent eyes. She swallowed against her suddenly bone-dry throat.
Stop it! He’s not for you! Not unless he joins the church.
“Aren’t you busy?” Clara did her best to add an edge of annoyance in her voice to hide her surging attraction to him.
“I need to get a rebuild kit for the toilet.” He pointed in the direction of the downstairs bathroom. “We can stop at whatever store you need.”
“Let me give you some money.” Emma started walking toward the family room.
“No, no.” Jerry shook his head and held up his hand. “I can get it.”
“Don’t be gegisch.” Emma rested her hands on her hips. “I don’t expect you to pay for the parts to fix my toilet.”
“It’s only a few dollars. I can cover it, Emma.” His voice was gentle but firm.
Emma folded her arms over her chest. “You buwe are so stubborn. I’ll find another way to pay you. What’s your favorite kind of kichli?”
“I’ve never met a kichli I didn’t like.”
As Jerry grinned, Clara’s admiration for him swelled. He didn’t want to come to Emma’s, but now he was paying for the supplies to fix her plumbing. He was such a good man.
“Let’s go.” Jerry held up his keys and jingled them, as if to signal to Clara that he was ready. Then he turned back to Emma. “We’ll be back soon.”
“Danki.”
Clara walked beside him to his truck and then climbed into the passenger seat and buckled her seat belt.
“I thought we’d go to the hardware store first.” He turned the key and the engine roared to life.
“Okay.” She folded her hands in her lap as he drove out to the road. “Did you fix the kitchen sink?”
“Yeah.” He kept his eyes focused on the traffic ahead. “It wasn’t difficult. The toilet will be fixed soon.”
“That was nice of you to insist on paying for the parts.”
He shrugged as he gave her a sideways glance. “It’s not much at all.” He turned back to the road.
“Still, it’s nice.” She paused and studied him, taking in his handsome profile as questions danced through her mind. “Jerry, why did you stop coming to church and youth group?”
Something unreadable flashed over his features, but then it disappeared. “It’s difficult to explain.”
“I’m listening.” She leaned toward him, and he laughed. “What’s so funny?”
He nodded at her. “You’ve never been subtle.”
She gaped at him, and he laughed again.
“You can trust me,” she said.
“I know that.”
The compliment sent warmth swirling through her chest. “If you know you can trust me, then tell me.”
He drove in silence for several moments, his eyes trained on the road once again. She held her breath, hoping he’d finally open up to her.
When he drove into the parking lot at the hardware store, her shoulders wilted. They were at their destination, and she’d missed her chance for a real conversation with him. She unbuckled her seat belt and began wrestling with the heavy door.
“Wait.” He touched her shoulder, but then he pulled back his hand as if her sleeve had bit him. “I want to answer your question.”
“Okay.” She angled her body toward him.
He looked down at his lap as if gathering his thoughts. “I don’t know how to explain it, but I’ve never felt God calling me to join the church.” He peeked up at her.
She scooted closer to him. “But you were an active member of our youth group, and you always seemed attentive in church. Why would you suddenly turn your back on our culture and beliefs?”
“That’s not what I mean.” He turned toward her and leaned back on the door. “While everyone else was looking forward to making a commitment to the Amish community, I felt awkward. I always thought I would feel God calling me to be baptized, but I never have.”
She tried to digest his words, but she just couldn’t understand them. “God loves you. He loves all of us, and we’re all called to be his baptized disciples.”
“Forget it.” He pushed his door open. “Let’s buy our supplies and get back to Emma’s haus.”
Disappointment filled Clara as they walked toward the hardware store. She longed to encourage Jerry to open his heart to her, but she feared pushing him away with too many questions. Inside, she kept the conversation light, asking him only about his purchases.
After he’d gathered the supplies and paid for them, they climbed back into his truck and headed to the bulk food store.
“So what do we need here again?” he asked as she led him down an aisle.
“Containers for strawberries and trays for kichlin.” She found the containers and began to fill their shopping cart.
“Let me help you.” He reached for the stack of containers in her hands.
When their fingers brushed, heat zipped up her arm, and her pulse skittered at the contact. She bit back a gasp as she released the containers. Her cheeks burned, and she turned back toward the shelf, hoping to hide her reaction to his touch.
“I think we need three more stacks.” She busied herself with gathering more containers and handing them to him, careful to avoid physical contact.
After filling the cart with the trays for cookies too, they headed to the cashier. Jerry took his wallet from his pocket and handed the cashier a stack of bills.
“What are you doing?” Clara held up her own wallet. “I was going to pay.”
“I’ve got it.” He took his receipt and change. “Thank you.” Then he pushed the cart toward the exit.
“Jerry!” Clara trotted after him. “Why did you pay?”
“Because I wanted to.” When they reached the truck, he hopped into its bed as if it were effortless and opened a large plastic container. “Hand me the bags.”
“Why did you pay?” she demanded again.
“I already told you. Because I wanted to.” He reached down. “Now, hand me the bags.”
“I was going to be reimbursed,” she continued. “We have a fund for all garden expenses. You need to turn in your receipt to get reimbursed.”
He frowned. “If I agree to that, will you please hand me the bags?”
“Ya.” She nodded. “I will.”
“Fine.” He rolled his eyes. “Now hand me the bags so we can get back to Emma’s haus.”
Satisfied with his response, she handed him the bags and he stowed them in the large container. Soon they were on their way back to Emma’s house.
“Danki for taking me to the store,” she said as the truck puttered its way down the road.
“Gern gschehne.” He slowed to a stop at a red light.
She glanced at him. Maybe she could just ask him one more thing. “You said you don’t feel the call to join the church, but you still speak in Pennsylvania Dutch.”
He shrugged. “I hear it all the time at my parents’ haus, and that’s what many of our customers speak. So why wouldn’t I speak it?”
“That’s something else.” She angled her body toward him. “If you truly are English, do you have a television and access to the internet?”
“Who said I’m English?” His blue eyes challenged her.
She extended her hands, palms up. “Well, your fancy haircut, your phone, your clothes, and your truck give it away.”
He opened his mouth and then closed it again. When the light turned green, he took his foot off the brake and the truck lurched forward. An awkward silence filled the cab like a thick, choking fog.
Clara regretted her words, and she racked her brain for something else to say.
“Why aren’t you dating anyone?” he asked.
“What?” She turned toward him.
“I thought for sure you’d be engaged by now.”
“Why would you say that?” She searched his face for any signs of a joke.
“A few of my freinden admitted they wanted to date you.”
“When did they say that?”
“Before I left.”
Stunned by the information, she paused, gathering her thoughts. “What did you tell them?”
“I didn’t say anything, but I assumed they would pursue you. I always imagined one of them would have the confidence to ask you to marry him.” He turned his head to look at her. “You haven’t dated anyone since I left?”
“I’ve had a couple of boyfriends, but the relationships didn’t last very long.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know. I guess we just weren’t compatible.”
“Did you end the relationships?”
She nodded.
“That’s what I thought.”
“What does that mean?” Frustration nipped at her. Was he accusing her of something?
“No man in his right mind would end a relationship with you.” He slapped on the blinker and then merged onto the road that led to Emma’s house.
Oh.
His words twirled through her mind as confusion taunted her. Why would Jerry say such a thing?
She fingered the door handle as he steered into Emma’s driveway. When the truck came to a stop, she pushed open the door and started to climb out.
“Clara. Wait.”
She looked over her shoulder at him.
“I didn’t mean to upset you.” His face was lined with what looked like contrition. “I’m not Amish, but I hope we can still be freinden.”
“We’ll always be freinden.” Her heart tugged at the possibility of being more than his friend, but because he wasn’t a baptized member of the church, she’d be shunned if that happened.
“Gut.” He smiled. “Let’s unload the supplies so I can finish fixing the toilet.”
As she climbed out of the truck, her thoughts turned to her uncle who’d left the community and cut off all communication with their family. Maybe her mother could help her figure out a way to bring Jerry back to the church—before it was too late, before he decided there was no turning back.
“Mamm, may I ask you a question?” Clara turned to her mother as they sat on the back porch drinking iced tea that evening.
“You know you can ask me anything.” Mamm ran her fingers over her glass as she pushed her rocking chair into motion.
“What did you say to Onkel Norman to try to convince him to stay in the church?”
“I begged him to stay. I told him he was my only bruder, and I didn’t want to lose him. I told him it would break Mamm and Dat’s hearts if he wasn’t Amish.” Mamm shook her head. “But it didn’t work. I wound up alienating him instead of keeping him in my life.”
The pain in her mother’s eyes nearly broke her in two.
“You must miss him,” Clara said.
“I do. Very much.” Mamm smiled at her, but it was a sad smile. “You would love him. He’s friendly and funny. He loved to tell jokes, no matter how gegisch they were.” She got a faraway look in her eye. “One time mei dat was trying to tell him something serious, and Norman kept cracking jokes. Dat was angry, but then he just started laughing.” She chuckled.
“He sounds wunderbaar.”
“Ya. I’d love to get to know his fraa and kinner.” She turned to Clara once again. “And I would love for you to know your cousins.”
“Ya, I would too.” Clara sipped her iced tea as she worked up the courage to ask her next question. “Do you think there’s any way I can convince Jerry to join the church?”
Mamm looked at her a moment before answering. “It’s a very personal decision, Clara.”
“I know.”
“And if you try to push him, you might alienate him, just like I alienated mei bruder.”
Clara stared down at her glass. If she didn’t try to convince Jerry to stay, she could lose any chance of being more than a friend to him, just as she had five years ago when he first stepped away from the church. But if she did try to convince him, pushing too hard, she could lose him even as a friend.
“Was iss letz?” Mamm asked.
Clara looked up at her mother. “What do you mean?”
“You seem upset.”
Clara hesitated as her thoughts spun. While she wanted to tell her mother that her feelings for Jerry worried her, she didn’t want to upset her too.
“You care about him, don’t you?”
Clara gritted her teeth. Mamm could tell the truth just by looking at her face. She was in trouble now!
“It’s okay.” Mamm’s expression was warm, and that loosened some of the anxiety in Clara’s tense spine. “Jerry has always been a gut freind, and it must be exciting to reconnect with him. But he’s not Amish. Don’t get too caught up in your emotions or you’ll wind up with a broken heart. You can’t force him to join the church, but you can be his freind and gently encourage him. Maybe you can invite him to come to a church service and then let God do the rest.”
“That’s a really gut idea.” Hope rose in Clara’s chest as she took another sip of tea. Maybe if she invited Jerry to church and he went, he would feel inspired to be baptized. And if he was baptized, maybe, just maybe, she had a chance to be his girlfriend.
As she looked out toward her father’s barn, she sent a prayer up to God, asking him to bring Jerry back to the church for good. Maybe Jerry’s heart would turn toward the church the way the flowers in Emma’s garden, snuggled next to Henry’s, turned their faces toward the morning sun.