Grace added a large spoonful of lard to the fry pan and chased it around, coating the pan as it melted. Aenti Erma handed Grace a plate of potatoes she’d diced to be fried. Aenti hadn’t said much; Grace figured Daed was the reason.
Her father sat at the table sipping coffee and pretending to read the newspaper. He probably wished he hadn’t finished the morning milking so early. Emery had risen early, made a roast beef sandwich out of last night’s leftovers, and was out the door saying he wanted to get to the mill early. But everyone suspected it had more to do with Rachel Raber, whom he’d had supper with last evening.
LeAnn was the only one whose chatter erupted sporadically. But she often talked a lot when she was hiding something. No doubt her mood had something to do with the Englischer she was seeing.
Grace flipped the potatoes over in the pan. She hadn’t heard anything but grease splattering, so catching a glimpse of Ben in her peripheral vision caught her by surprise.
“Gudder mariye,” he said, removing his hat as he entered the kitchen.
“Have a seat.” Daed motioned to the chair. “Grace, will you get Ben a mug of kaffi, please?”
“Sure.” She set the spatula on the counter and moved over to the cupboard to remove a mug as Erma slipped into her spot at the stove. Grace filled the mug and handed it to Ben.
“Danki,” he said, looking at her only briefly.
“You’re welkom.” She walked back to the counter, picked up a bowl of eggs Aenti had already cracked, and began whisking them together.
“You didn’t stay long last nacht, Ben,” LeAnn said. “Where did you go?”
“I had a . . . stop to make.”
“Mmm . . . ,” her father said behind the paper.
Grace spied Ben from across the room. His leg bounced despite him rubbing his hand along his thigh.
Daed folded the newspaper and set it on the table. “Have you eaten breakfast, Ben?”
“Jah, I was up early.” He glanced at Grace as he lifted the coffee mug to his mouth.
She half-expected him to say he slept like a baby or make a comment about the dark circles under her eyes.
LeAnn placed the biscuits and butter on the table along with the jar of honey. Grace came behind her with the fried potatoes and Aenti Erma with the dish of scrambled eggs. Grace took her place at the table, bowed her head, and silently blessed the food they were about to eat. She looked up to find Ben staring at her, a blank expression on his face.
“What does your father do in Florida?” Daed asked Ben.
“He’s a shoe repairman.”
The plank floor vibrated and Daed’s brows creased. His gaze drifted to the floor on Ben’s side of the table.
Ben slipped his hand under the table and the vibrations stopped.
“Is that what you did in Florida, repair shoes?”
“For a time.”
Daed held his fork suspended in midair.
“I worked on a fishing boat, and more recently, as a landscaper.”
Her father continued eating, and except for the sound of forks scraping the plates, the room was silent.
“What does your father think about you coming to Michigan?”
Ben shot a feeble glance at Grace. “He bought mei ticket.”
Her father’s lips twisted as they often did when he mulled something over. “How old are you?”
“Twenty-three.” Ben lifted his mug, but he eyed his trembling hand and set it back down.
“Baptized?”
“Nett yet.” He cleared his throat. “I’ve spoken with Bishop Yoder about making mei commitment.”
Grace ate faster. Another time she might have enjoyed watching Ben squirm, but this sounded too much like Daed was interviewing him as a potential son-in-law, and that wasn’t going to happen. She set her fork down. “I can’t eat another bite. Are you ready to go into town, Ben?”
“Jah.” He pushed his chair back and shot out of his seat.
“Sit down.” Daed eyed Ben and motioned to the chair he’d just vacated. “Please.”
Ben eased onto the seat and wiped his palms on his pant legs.
Grace looked at Aenti Erma, who shrugged slightly, then over to LeAnn, whose eyes were darting between Ben and Daed.
Daed’s eyes hooded when he studied Ben. “Do you know how to drive a buggy?”
Ben shook his head.
“Grace,” Daed said, turning his full attention to her. “Did you get enough sleep last nacht to feel comfortable driving into town? Or should I take you two?”
He’d never questioned her driving into town before. She nodded. “I feel fine.”
“Okay, be careful.”
She cleared her throat. “Can we go?”
He nodded.
She and Ben both scrambled to their feet.
“One more thing.” Daed’s words stopped them at the kitchen entrance.
“Jah,” she replied.
Daed turned in his chair, facing Ben. “If you want to see mei dochder in the middle of the nacht, you knock on the door.”
“Yes, sir.”
Grace’s breath seized in the back of her throat.
“Better yet,” her father said, standing face-to-face with Ben. “You want to court mei dochder, you come at a respectable hour.”
“I will.” Ben nodded.
Grace wanted to object, but this wasn’t the time.
He eyed Grace. “Are you sure you don’t want me to drive you two into town?”
“Nay.” That came out too fast.
LeAnn’s snicker caught Daed’s attention. He dismissed Grace and Ben, then turned to LeAnn. “I understand you have some things to tell me.”
Grace grabbed her cloak from the wall hook as her father fired off questions about the company LeAnn had been keeping in town. Under different circumstances, Grace would have wanted to hear the conversation, but she knew when to leave. Besides, she didn’t want to answer questions about being outside with Ben in the middle of the night. Her father probably saw them kiss too. She shot out the door, Ben on her heels. “See what you did, coming over in the middle of the nacht?” she snapped.
“Jah!” He chuckled. “I got your father’s approval to court you.”
All police stations, Ben decided, smelled the same. Old sweat, stale coffee, and an odd mix of some lingering air freshener that failed to mask any other scent in the place. His eyes scanned the room, past the patrons seated on the plastic chairs, to the gray-haired officer seated behind the thick wall of glass. He led Grace to the window with a sign dangling from a set of small chains, and swaying from the vent located above it, marked Information.
The uniformed officer looked over his reading glasses. “May I help you?”
Ben leaned down to speak into the metal vent opening. “Hi, I’m Ben Eicher and this is Grace Wagler. We’re here to speak with Detective Kline.”
“Have a seat and I’ll let him know you’re here.”
Ben turned. One seat open, center row, and stationed between two men, one burly and the other in a questionable state of consciousness. “Let’s stand by the pay phone,” he whispered.
Grace nodded, and when they stopped, her shoulder touched his. “I’ve never been in a police station,” she said under her breath.
“Just keep your eyes open and don’t stare at anyone directly.”
“You’ve been inside a police station before?”
He leaned closer. “Nett in the lobby.”
Her eyes steadied on his. “What does that mean?”
“Shh.” He motioned to the opposite side of the room. “You might wake that drunk that’s slumped over in the corner.”
“Don’t change the subject.”
Their names were called over the loudspeaker. Ben reached for her elbow and he guided her back to the information window.
“Step through the door when it buzzes.” The man pressed a red button and admitted them into a long hallway of glass offices.
A lanky man in a white shirt, black tie, and jeans came out from the second office. “Hi, I’m Detective Kline. Thanks for coming in.” He motioned toward a small, windowless office, then directed them to take a seat in the two chairs positioned before a metal desk.
Grace sat board-straight. She swept the wrinkles from her dress, then wrung her hands.
Detective Kline picked up a legal pad and a pen. “This shouldn’t take long. I need to get your account of the events.” He glanced at the pad. “I’ve already spoken with an Erma Milner and a Mattie Diener.” The detective recapped the information Erma had provided during the time she was alone with Gordon. Then Ben described the events from his and Grace’s arrival to the point when Jack shoved him down the cellar steps.
The detective made notes of Ben’s account, then looked at Grace. “Is that accurate to the best of your knowledge?”
“Jah,” Grace said.
The detective asked Grace if she wanted to add anything, and when she didn’t, Detective Kline asked her to continue from the point after Jack and Gordon had forced her to go with them.
She was strong until she reached the part where Jack held her underwater. Her voice trembled and she looked at Ben. “If Gordon hadn’t stopped him, Jack would have killed me.”
Ben reached for her hand, intertwining his fingers with hers. “Do you want me to finish?”
Grace nodded, wiping tears from her eyes.
“Jack came after us in the river. He and I fought and he tried to drown Grace. He hit a boulder and the current took him under. It was dark. I assumed he was swept downstream.” He paused as the detective finished making his notes. “We heard Jack was found dead, but we haven’t heard anything about Gordon. What’s going to happen to him?”
“He has a list of charges that will put him behind bars for several years. You won’t have to worry about him.”
Ben glanced at Grace’s downturned mouth, then turned to the detective. “What type of charges?”
“The list is extensive. Grand-theft auto, robbing a convenience store, assaulting the emergency-room nurse, and kidnapping Miss Wagler are enough to put him away for years.”
“But what you said isn’t all true.” Grace leaned forward in her chair. “Jack attacked the nurse. I heard him and Gordon talking. It wasn’t Gordon.”
“Positive.”
The detective jotted down the information. “I’m making a note.”
“Can I say something else?” Something came alive in her. Ben had seen it before when she was adamant about going back for Gordon.
“Yes, please.”
“Gordon doesn’t seem . . . well, he’s simpleminded.”
“Yes, I’m aware of that.”
“I think Gordon was forced to go, the same as I was. Jack was cruel and bullied him. I know when Gordon was younger, he killed his parents, but I don’t think he’s the same person.”
“His parents died in a fire. He didn’t kill them.”
“Wasn’t he the one who set the fire?”
The detective shook his head. “Not according to his case file. The fire was caused by faulty wiring.”
Grace sank into the chair. “Someone needs to tell him.” She chewed the side of her lip. “I don’t believe he stole a vehicle. He’s nett even capable of driving. Will you make sure you note that also?”
“Yes, thank you, miss. Is there anything else you’d like to add?”
She shook her head.
Detective Kline stepped away from his desk. “If you think of anything else, please be sure to contact me.” The detective handed them each one of his business cards and walked them to the door.
“Sir,” Grace said. “Do you think it would be possible to visit Gordon? I have something to return of his.”
“And what is that?”
“It’s a jar of stones. I think they’re important to him.”
The detective shook his head. “Glass items and stones wouldn’t be allowed. I’m sure after his sentencing you can arrange to visit him though.”
Grace lowered her head and nodded. “Thank you.” She walked out of the building in silence.
“I’m proud of you, Grace,” Ben said after they were inside the buggy. “I think your testimony will help Gordon.”
“I hope so. I’m glad it’s over.” She clicked her tongue and Jasper went forward.
Ben chuckled. “The detective’s questions were less intimidating than your father’s were this morning.”
“I’m really sorry he put you on the spot.”
“I think your daed likes me.”
“But does he know you’ve been arrested before?”
Ben frowned. “Technically I wasn’t arrested. Nett charged anyway.”
She eased onto the street. “What did you do?”
“Trespassing on private property. After working all day in the heat, I went swimming in a hotel pool . . . which happened to be closed for renovations.”
She pulled back the reins and stopped Jasper at the stop sign, then waited for a car to pass through the intersection.
“The hotel owner dropped the charges,” he said defensively. “But mei daed still held me accountable for being defiant, irresponsible, and disrespectful. The following day, I was on a bus heading up here and I don’t think he’s forgiven me yet.”
“Weren’t you going back home when Toby left?”
He shook his head. “I couldn’t face mei father. I had planned on changing mei ticket for Indiana where mei sisters live, but found out—Will you find a place to pull over?”
“Ben, I don’t think that’s a gut idea.”
“I just want to talk. Please, Grace?”
After what seemed like forever, she turned down a dirt road and stopped the buggy.
Give me the right words, please, Lord. Ben shifted on the bench so that he was facing her. He reached for her hand. “I’m nett proud of mei past. I did get into trouble with the law and I’m a huge disappointment to mei father. I’ve gotten drunk before and maybe keeping Neva out all nacht was wrong. But she seemed to need someone to talk to and I didn’t want to take her home drunk.” Not that it mattered in the end once the accusations started flying. “I told her I would marry her. I told her parents—mei parents . . .”
“Ben, you don’t have to tell me this.”
“Jah, I do. If you’re going to judge me, I’d like you to know all the facts.” He continued. “I had known her for years. Several of us hung out together, and we used to flirt with each other—harmless flirting. Then one day Neva and I were caught inside a shed during a hailstorm . . . I stole a kiss and she slapped me.”
Grace mumbled something under her breath.
“A week or two later, I was getting off the boat from work and she was on the dock with an opened bottle of tequila and talking nonsense about her life being ruined. I couldn’t make heads or tails out of her rambling.” He paused, putting the pieces together in his mind.
“Is that it?”
“Nay. We sat on the beach under the dock. She was upset and drinking hard and I was upset with mei father who wanted me to quit mei job on the boat and go to work for him repairing shoes . . . It didn’t take too many more shots of tequila for her to . . .”
“Succumb to your advances.”
He huffed and shook his head. He would never win her respect. Just like he would never earn his father’s respect. “She was drunk. I should have hog-tied her hands . . .” He glanced at Grace. Her lashes shuttered. She started to reach for the reins, but he caught her wrist. “To keep her from drinking and losing her . . .”
“Virginity?”
“Nay, she already—nett with me.” This conversation was heading the wrong direction.
“Losing her . . . ?” Grace stiffened. “Boppli?”
He nodded. “Once I found out, I couldn’t let her keep drinking.”
Grace’s stony gaze held his for a long, agonizing moment. “You said you proposed, so why aren’t you married?”
“We woke up the next morning at high tide. There was a big meeting between her parents and mine and I agreed to marry her.” He shrugged. “I quit mei job on the boat and went to work for mei father. A few weeks later, she was gone. Her parents refused to share her whereabouts and mei father treated me like I wasn’t his sohn.” He drew a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I waited almost a year to hear something from her—or about her. I still would have married her. She needed someone, and I foolishly thought if I settled down it would mend things between me and mei father.”
“Why are you telling me all of this?”
“Because I’ve never loved anyone . . . but you.”
“Ben.” Her eyes glazed.
Say it. Say that you love me.
She grabbed the reins and as she reached for the buggy’s brake lever, Ben stopped her. “Grace, you know there’s something between us. It’s real and you can’t deny it.”
“Ben, you just said you would still marry her.”
His throat dried. “She’s never contacted me. I found out the other day that she lives in Indiana and Toby has been writing letters to her. They were secretly courting at the time I kissed her.”
Grace gasped.
“I didn’t know.” He exhaled. “Apparently, Toby accused her of having feelings for me . . . I didn’t know any of this until the other day when Toby left some letters for me to read.”
Grace’s mouth fell slack.
“I’m ashamed of mei actions . . . I hope you can forgive—”
“Ben, it doesn’t matter what I think.”
“But it does. I love you.”
She shook her head. “I’m moving to Ohio. Mei plans are already set.”
He moved closer. “I prayed for a miracle and God answered mei prayer. The bright lights, the fox—all God.”
“The fox was real? I thought I was hallucinating from that tea.”
“It was real. And God sent him.”
“Even so, it was a miracle for that moment. God led you to me for that purpose. Nothing more.”
Ben scooted closer to her on the bench. “God brought us together, Grace, for more than just a nacht. I believe that in mei heart.”
Grace peered at him with uncertainty, then she reached for the reins. “We should get back. Did you want to be dropped off at the lumber mill or at the bishop’s?”
Ben sighed. “The lumber mill.”
Without looking at him, she tapped the reins and the buggy lurched forward. They traveled in silence. Grace stared straight ahead, coaxing the horse to go faster, and Ben studied her solemn expression. Were his sins unforgivable in her eyes? An hour later, they reached the lumberyard. Grace stopped the buggy.
“I’m going to pray for another miracle,” he said. “Promise me you’ll pray also.”
She fidgeted with the reins. “God doesn’t always answer mei prayers.”
“If you’re referring to Philemon, I’m glad you didn’t get the answer you wanted. Because you and I are meant to be together, and if you pray about it, God will reveal that to you.” He waited a moment for her to speak, and when she didn’t, he opened the buggy door.
“Ben?”
“Jah.”
“Danki for rescuing me and . . . holding mei hand at the police station. I’m grateful you were at mei side through all of this. I’m glad it’s over.”
It’s nett over, Gracie. I don’t plan to ever leave your side. Ben smiled. “Will you go for a walk with me tonight?”
She shook her head. “Nett tonight.”
He lost his nerve to ask about tomorrow night. Instead, he touched the brim of his hat and climbed out of the buggy. Then, standing next to the barn, he watched her pull away with his heart.
Philemon walked up beside him. “I wondered when the slacker would get here.” He nodded at Grace’s buggy bouncing over the ruts in the road. “I should have known a maedel held you up.”
Ben smiled. “Did you think I was fishing?”
“Well,” Philemon said. “I did show you mei best spot on the river.”
Ben reminded him they hadn’t caught anything in his spot and the bantering continued as they headed into the sawmill.
The moment Ben was outside of the buggy, Grace whispered, “I love you, too, Ben Eicher,” then sobbed the entire ride home. God brought us together, Grace, for more than just a nacht. I believe that in mei heart. Ben’s words stung. She, too, had allowed the time they’d shared to linger in her thoughts—take root in her heart—wanting to believe God had something more in store. But her sore muscles and stiff joints reminded her why that couldn’t be possible. When Ben said he loved her, she had steeled her will not to respond. After everything he told her about Neva, how could he discard his past so easily?
She parked next to the lean-to and took a minute before climbing off the bench to wipe her eyes. She hitched in a ragged breath. Her lungs tightened as if the air were solid. More tears pricked her eyes. Her heart was in pieces—not broken from rejection, but just the opposite. Ben loved her and she him. But he had other obligations with Neva now that he knew where she lived. And Grace needed to move to Ohio.
Grace removed Jasper’s harness and fed, watered, and curried the horse, removing his thick winter coat, a sure sign of spring. After putting up the tack, she lumbered to the house. When she walked into the kitchen, Aenti Erma, her father, and LeAnn were seated at the table.
“You may be excused, LeAnn,” Daed said sternly.
LeAnn rose from the chair. Her face red and eyes puffy, she stared at Grace as she hurried out of the room.
“I’ll give you two some time to talk.” Grace turned. Her father wasn’t in a pleasant mood, not after a long morning interrogating LeAnn. This wasn’t a good time to bring up Ohio.
“Grace, sit down,” Daed said.
She glanced at her aenti, but her expression held no clues. Grace sat next to Aenti Erma and folded her hands in her lap.
“How did it go at the police station?” he asked.
“The detective took our statements. He said Gordon wouldn’t be a threat. He had other charges besides kidnapping.”
“I’m glad Ben was with you and you didn’t have to go through it alone. Erma tells me he’s a nice young man.”
Grace nodded. “He is.”
His brows lifted. “And respectful of you?”
She lowered her head and nodded. His question probably stemmed from seeing them in the yard kissing last night. She didn’t want to explain that. Ben held her rather firmly until she surrendered, but her father would be more curious as to why her hands went from pushing against his chest to going around his neck, encouraging his embrace. Her face heated at the memory of furrowing her fingers through his thick, golden locks. Ben had a way of putting a static charge on every fiber within her. Even just thinking of him made her arms pucker with bumps and the hairs stand on end.
“Erma and I have talked,” he said, clearing his throat.
A shot of hope infused Grace’s body.
“We’ve decided to send LeAnn back to Ohio with Erma.”
“Oh . . .” Grace slumped in her chair.
“I know you want to find out about your condition.” He rubbed the bridge of his nose. “I’m nett sure that’s a gut idea. And I’m nett convinced you’ve thought it through.”
She sank further into despair. Her throat swelled, preventing her from agreeing or disagreeing, and that was probably for the best. She would only be lying if she agreed. She had thought through the decision to see a specialist for several months.
“But Erma has practically become your mother since your mamm passed away, so . . . in this situation, I believe she should have a say in the family matters. After all, Erma is . . . part of our family.”
Grace sat taller in the chair.
“She believes you’re old enough to make your own decisions. I only ask that you pray for God’s guidance and you accept His will.”
“Jah, I will.”
He sighed. “This haus is going to be lonely this summer with all you women gone.” His gaze shot beyond Grace, and his eyes lit.
“Yes, well, we will . . .” Aenti Erma stammered. “We’ll be sure to bake peanut-butter cookies before we leave and mail you care packages while we’re away.”
“I hope you send brownies too.”
Grace pushed her chair away from the table and stood. “I think I’ll just . . .” Neither one of them seemed aware she was leaving the room. Grace went outside for a breath of fresh air. She had so many things to do—to pack. It would take the better part of the week to catch up on her father and brother’s dirty laundry and get the house in order. They hadn’t had a chance to finish the spring-cleaning. She inspected the windows. The ones in the sitting room and kitchen were spotless, but the bedrooms still needed cleaning. She glanced at the ground outside her window and spotted the pebbles Ben had thrown. Grace squatted down and collected them. Rolling them over in her hand, she walked back into the kitchen. But finding Aenti in her father’s arms, Grace halted in her steps. She spun around, but not before Aenti gasped.
“Did you need something?” her father asked.
Grace swiped Gordon’s Mason jar off the counter. “I’m leaving.”
“What do you have there?”
She turned around, a wide smile on her face. “Pebbles. Would you like some to throw at Aenti’s window tonight?”
His eyes widened, but that wasn’t as startling as seeing her father’s face turn the shade of hot embers. “Grace Elizabeth.” He pointed to the kitchen entrance. “Go.”
She rushed out of the room and shot down the hallway. Once inside her bedroom, Grace opened the Mason jar and removed the river rocks. Gordon’s words echoed in her mind. I have a weak mind . . . but I have God’s power, like David had against Goliath. Grace turned the five stones over in her hand. Did they represent the same number of stones David had used?
Grace returned the stones to the jar, adding with them the pebbles from outside her window. God had used her infirmity to form a bond with Gordon in the woods, which was probably why Gordon had come to her rescue with Jack. Her thoughts sobered. For the first time since Grace had discovered she was different, she was thankful for her condition.
Was it wrong to want to be normal? Tears trickled down her cheek. Gordon had accepted the way God had made him—why was it so difficult for her?