Before – Haley

“He’ll be okay,” Chris says softly. Whether it’s to himself or to me doesn’t matter. We’re both in this now. My brother rubs his head, trying to think.

Jake Lexington is passed out in the corner of a barn, and I’m forcing him to drink some water. Even with a straw, most of it spills out of the cup and all over him, but I know he gets a sip every now and then because he smacks his lips. He mumbles, but it’s more like noises than words.

“We should just take him home with us,” I say.

I wipe Jake’s hair back out of his face. It’s stuck to his forehead, which is still bruised from the car accident. It’s an ugly shade of yellow now, with the stitches still there along his hairline. Mom was working that night, and she personally did them to try to keep him calm. She still won’t talk about it.

“You’re right. Let’s take him home with us. I’ll text his dad from his phone,” Chris says.

“How are we gonna get him to the car?” I ask.

My brother looks around the party. Almost everyone is passed out somewhere or staggering around. “Montgomery is here somewhere. Let me go find him.”

Chris leaves us for a minute, and I sit, stroking Jake’s hair. I know it’s too intimate. I know no one can see or they will all know something is up. But it’s hard to watch him hurting. He’s been spiraling over the last month, since the accident. I have to assume his friends have seen it if I have.

Jake opens his eyes and looks at me. “H-hey,” I say. “You’re awake. Chris is here. We’re gonna take you home.”

He reaches up and puts a finger over my lips. “Shhh,” and then he closes his eyes again and his head falls limp.

So much for that.

My brother comes back with Will Montgomery. Chris whispers Jake’s name in his ear. “We’re gonna move now, buddy.” Jake mutters a response of some kind. “Will, you get on his left, I’ll take his right.”

I walk behind them as they haul Jake to Chris’s old Suburban. They make it look easy to carry a drunk teenager across a field, but there’s no way it’s that effortless. At the Suburban, they can’t figure out how to get him in. They’re trying to lay him inside, so I run over the back door on the passenger side and hop into the seat.

“I’ll hold him up,” I say. They give me a weird look, but I don’t waver. They get Jake into the back seat, and I support his torso while they shove in his legs. He groans the whole time. Chris closes his door, and then suddenly Jake snuggles into me. My heart is exploding right now. I can’t believe I’m this close to Jake Lexington.

Chris gets in the driver’s seat and looks back at me. “You’re not moving to the front?”

“I’m kinda stuck here.” Jake is wrapped around me somehow, and I could disentangle but I don’t really want to. He looks comfy. “Shut my door?”

He nods, and then we’re headed home. Chris is quiet, only the soft sound of old Hank Williams drifting through the speakers, songs about heartache and loss.

“I should’ve come with him,” Chris says.

We make eye contact through the rearview mirror. “What do you mean?”

My brother releases a sigh. “He wanted me to come, and I told him no. He didn’t want to be at home. I just needed some alone time.” He shakes his head. “I should’ve.”

“You’re here now. We’ll take him home, and it will be okay,” I say.

“I think it’s far from okay, Hals,” he says, looking past me at Jake.

At home, somehow we get him inside together. We make it to the couch, barely, and it takes twenty minutes to go ten feet. Chris runs upstairs to get him some pillows and blankets, and I take off Jake’s shoes. He wakes up and mutters, looking around, confused, before he focuses on me.

“You’re okay. You’re on our couch,” I say.

“Other Howell?” He whispers my name, his voice like sandpaper.

I smile. “Yup,” I say. “I’ll get you water.”

I rush off to the kitchen and pour some not-very-cold water in a glass. I doubt he will care that much if it’s ice cold. I get back to find him holding his head in his hands. I extend the glass to him, and he looks at me, eyes red and puffy, before he takes a sip.

“Thanks,” he whispers. “I love this house. It’s so normal here.”

“It’s not that normal,” I say. Jake gives me a look, like he’s going to argue, but then my brother comes back downstairs with the linens, and it’s like I’m not even there anymore.