Sebastian Faulk’s
BIRDSONG
COLONEL BARCLAY
For those of you who don’t know, I am Colonel Barclay, and it’s a pleasure to be leading such a fine and upstanding collection of men. I’m sure you all know why we’re here, in this splendid village of Auchonvillers, in the valley of the River Somme. Now then, you’ll be relieved to hear that we’re about to attack. Tomorrow, we will inflict a defeat on the Boche such that he will never recover… Of course I’ll be in the trench and going over with you chaps. Aiming to have dinner off the regimental silver in Bapaume. Over at dawn, we punch a hole, the cavalry pour through. That reminds me. The sappers’ll blow the ridge as we go. No, before we go. Yes, that’s right. To recap. The sappers blow their mines, we go over, a nice steady trot – try to hold your lines, nothing worse than a scrappy advance, regroup at midday, take a breather if necessary, then shoulder to the wheel and we’ll be through by early evening. As you know, we’ve just dished out a six-day bombardment that’ll have cut every bit of German wire from here to Dares-Salaam. If there’s any Boche left alive he’ll be so bloody relieved it’s over, he’ll come out with his hands in the air. Well then. Gentlemen, good luck.
A cheer starts –
Oh yes, one last thing. I need hardly remind you of the glorious history of this regiment. I can say no more to you than this: I believe from the bottom of my heart that tomorrow you will live up to our mighty nickname, that of ‘The Goats’. God bless you all and see you in Bapaume!
A cheer is raised.