Epilogue

 

Erik, Watson, and I attended Jekyll’s funeral several days after the wedding ceremony. Emma could hardly stand the grief of having lost not only her father, but her beloved, and broke down when the coffin was lowered into the earth. Utterson guided her away and I spoke with her when the crowd began to disperse.

“Miss Carew,” I said, “if there is ever anything I may do for you, any assistance I can give, please, do not hesitate to ask.”

“Why did he do it? Mr. Holmes, what was he trying to accomplish?” she asked, her voice thick with tears.

“Utterson gave me his journal, and other notes on the subject that were found in his laboratory. I’m still reading through them, but I believe the experiment was about, ultimately, the nature of the demons that possess a man’s soul.” I sighed. “Henry believed that we are all made up of two distinct entities, always fighting for supremacy within our psyche. He wanted to eradicate the malevolent force within man, and thus created the serum to separate the two.”

“But if he succeeded in the separation, why didn’t he succeed in the eradication?”

“First, because I believe he wasn’t sure exactly how to proceed until after the separation occurred. Then, if someone was trying to rid the world of you, would you quietly accept it, or would you fight it?” I asked.

“So, the more evil side . . .”

“Was loathe to be destroyed, and fought against it, eventually taking full control.”

Emma was quiet for a long moment. “I understand. But . . .”

“There are so many questions left unanswered?” I completed.

“Yes. What did good and evil have to do with his institutionalized father, for instance? Henry often mentioned that his experiment was inspired by his father.”

“As far as I can infer from the journals, he felt that his father had had a rare and unexpected reaction to that battle of supremacy. It seems Henry was under the impression that the elder Jekyll’s good side was overtaken, but the evil side was too suppressed to be released. So, his father’s gradual decline was his good half losing, and it eventually reached full catatonia when his evil side won but could not get out.”

“So, all of this, it was outwardly to help mankind, but it began because Henry was obsessed with saving his father.”

“I believe so.”

She nodded. “I can accept that. Knowing how desperate he was to save the man who raised him . . . it makes things a bit easier to bear.”

I garnered that she did not know Jekyll’s alter had killed her own father. That was something I would not torture her by revealing.

“I’m terribly sorry for your loss. I wish I - I had been able to get to Jekyll sooner. Perhaps if my deductions had been hastier . . .”

“Mr. Holmes, you mustn’t blame yourself. Henry made his own choices, forged his own path. You cannot blame yourself any more than I should blame myself for not making him stop this experiment when I saw it was getting out of hand.”

“Thank you, madam. That does help, in a small way.”

She looked toward the grave. “I shall miss him. So very much.”

“As will I,” I agreed.

We parted company and I caught up to Erik, who told me Watson had already left with Utterson to go over some medical and legal technicalities. I asked if he minded coming with me on a short excursion.

 

When we reached our destination, paid the hansom cab driver, and exited, Erik looked at me. “Holmes, why have we come here?”

Instead of answering, I said, “When I spoke with Miss Carew, she said she would miss Jekyll. I responded in kind. Yet, I’m wrong. I never rightfully knew the man. I know nothing of his habits, his likes, his dislikes. I know that he was obsessive when it came to something he wanted to accomplish. I know he was compassionate, because who but a man filled with compassion would experiment on himself to save his father? I know that as time went on, he turned into a more and more desperate, broken man. But there is so much more to Henry Jekyll. I didn’t know him. And now I never will. How can I possibly miss someone I never knew?”

Erik remained silent by my side.

“He and I spoke about my monograph, ‘The Book of Life,’ where I’ve said that through a single drop, one may infer the existence of the Nile, or of an ocean, even if they’ve never seen such a thing before. It may well be true for objects. But I had often related it to people as well. Gleaning things about them from something as simple as their clothing, or the way they wrote on a piece of paper. Arrogantly, I assumed I could tell nearly everything about them from that one small bit. After reading passages from Jekyll’s journal, I’m coming to the harsh conclusion of how very wrong I was.”

“Holmes, you aren’t necessarily incorrect,” Erik said. “In fact, I know you are less than fond of Watson’s writing style, but if his stories are reported even halfway accurately, you do have an incredible talent for discovering a large amount of information about people based on very small sources. For instance, Watson’s older brother’s watch. Perhaps you didn’t know what the man would prefer for breakfast, but you concluded solid facts about his personality.”

“The same could be said for Jekyll. Obsession and compassion give me two very definite motivators. Yet the man is dead, and with him, two others. I failed to save him and I failed to save his victims. So where does this leave me?”

“Alive and having learned a valuable lesson for your next case.”

“If there is even to be a next case.”

“You are despairing your abilities of detection because of this outcome, unfavorable as it is?”

I sighed. “Perhaps. Look around, Erik. We’re here because I’ve thought in great detail about your words on madness, as well as the painful necessity of facing the demons in my past. I’m afraid I can’t delve back quite as far as you were asking about previously, but this location holds another demon I’ve yet to completely eradicate within me.” I gripped my cane tightly.

“Moriarty,” Erik breathed.

“And his henchman,” I confirmed. “I should have known enough about Moriarty to realize someone would be waiting in the wings. But when I figured out his scheme, when I knew beyond any doubt that he would be here that night, personally involved instead of hiding in the shadows, I was so consumed by the idea of apprehending him, I didn’t take into account one very important factor. Moriarty never does anything alone. Had I not overlooked that vital fact, I would not have this cane right now. I wouldn’t live in chronic pain. I would still be every inch the detective I was three years ago!”

“Holmes,” Erik said sharply. “Listen to me. You’re doubting yourself, and that’s understandable. But never, never assume to be less than you are because of a physical impairment. Leave assumptions like that to ones who choose to remain ignorant and then are amazed at your feats. As I said at the start of this case, and I can hardly believe you’re getting me to use this cliché twice . . . it is what’s inside that counts. Behind the mask,” he said, tracing his mask lightly with the fingers of his right hand, “or beneath the cane,” he said, barely touching my right hand with his left fingertips.

A thin smile touched my lips. “I asked what was inside me that was truly worth anything. I must admit, I find myself wondering that again, but the reason is rather frighteniwasng.”

“Frightening?” Erik gave me a slightly alarmed look. “How so?”

“I wonder if the serum has actually been perfected. I’ve been feeling that push in my head the past few days.”

“Push?”

“Yes . . . It’s the best way I could describe the more evil side of myself wanting to emerge. There was a push in my mind. As if someone was shoving against a malleable material. Recently, I’ve felt a . . . I suppose ‘push’ would be too strong of a word. It’s more of a nudge. But it is there. And it is worrisome.”

“Indeed. Do you believe our serum wasn’t perfected? Or that your alter ego had some hand in diluting it somehow?”

“I don’t see how he could have. But perhaps the serum was tainted somehow.”

“Holmes, we can work together to fix this.”

I fell into silence, not knowing how to answer him. On one hand, of course I wanted to perfect the serum and know that my mind was back in one piece. On the other, perhaps it was our location, but I was once again overwhelmed by the thought that this was where my life had ended.

“What did you say?”

Facing him, I said, “I wasn’t aware I’d spoken aloud.”

“Yes. I believe you said something along the lines of your life ending. Please, tell me that I misunderstood.”

“The words, no. The context, most likely.”

“Holmes, explain,” he requested, a slight tone of alarm in his voice.

“Perhaps we’re not meant to perfect the serum. Perhaps my life truly was supposed to end the night I was shot. Perhaps I should never have asked Watson to save me.”

“Holmes, not that I’m not grateful, but why was Watson with you that night? When I stayed with you after the opera house case, you confided to me that you’ve had minor dealings with Moriarty before and purposely kept Watson in the dark. You didn’t want him harmed. Why would you ask him to come with you that night?”

I considered for a long moment. “I suppose because I felt he was needed. Something in my gut told me to include him.”

“Ah-ha. Is it possible something in you knew the night would go badly and that Watson may perhaps be a saving grace?”

I gave him a wry grin. “Is that optimism I hear in your tone?”

He smiled. “Yes, well, even I can’t be a pessimist all the time. Your darker moods are melancholic enough for us both.”

Laughing briefly, I nodded in agreement.

“Holmes, listen to me. We’ll work together and perfect the serum if you’re truly worried about your ‘Hyde’ persona emerging again. Since Watson is a medical man, he may have some helpful suggestions as well. Among the three of us, we’ll figure out the correct formula. Your mind will stay unified.”

“Thank you, Erik. That is reassuring.” Looking out across the water, I said, “I’ll have to go after him, you know.”

“Moriarty? Of course. I would expect nothing less of you.”

“The question is, will I have anyone by my side when I do?”

“Holmes . . .”

“Erik, you are an invaluable asset to me. I could not have solved this case without you. No, I couldn’t have survived this case without you. Please, reconsider my offer to become my partner.”

Erik sighed. “Holmes, it’s not a role I can see myself inhabiting. I know what you would have me say, but I’m sorry. I can’t. I’ll be here for you, for any assistance you may need, and I will keep my eyes open for cases, but that’s all.”

Closing my eyes, I nodded. That nudge was becoming a throbbing at my temples and behind my eyes. “Erik, would you assist me back to Baker Street? I believe we have formulas on which to experiment.”

He gave me a worried glance as we went back to the main street and hailed a cab for our return. I hoped his worry was needless, but the pulsing I felt worried me more than I cared to admit.