~Carter~
Light filtered through my eyelids and I started to wake, to remember where I was—in Jude's bed, sleeping next to him. Even before I let my eyes open, all I could see was Jude. His eyes were reflecting the rain, his body moving under me in perfect rhythm, our bodies fitting together just right.
My eyelids felt heavy but once they were open, I expected to see Jude lying next to me. He wasn't there. He might be gone, but his body still made me too hot. I kicked at the covers till they fell off the bed. But I couldn't shake off how he made me feel that easily.
When I went to sleep last night, Jude's head was on my shoulder as he dozed. I told myself to get up and leave already, but I kept delaying. Now here I was waking up in Jude's bedroom in my father's house. I groaned, felt my head throbbing, and groaned again.
After a trip to the bathroom, I went downstairs. I expected to see Jude somewhere around, but there was no sign of him. I did find his mom in the kitchen.
"Good morning," I said to her.
She greeted me with a smile. "Good morning. How is your head? Did you sleep Ok?"
"Fine. Where's Jude?"
"He went out. He said he would get some doughnuts for breakfast," she said. "I started coffee. Would you like some? Maybe you could take some up to your dad?"
"You too? I guess I know where Jude gets it from," I told her, but she wasn't as pushy about it as Jude.
"Your father is such a good man. I have to try, for his sake," she said apologetically.
"I'm glad he was good to you guys," I said, and I was.
"Your father saved us," she said and tears came into her eyes. "I don't know what we would have done. I had no experience working, but your father took a chance on me when I hardly had any hope left. You know I think your father gave me a job only because he could tell how much I needed it. I was never a maid before, but housework was all I knew how to do." As she spoke she seemed to lose herself. She frowned. "I was so young when I married. I didn't know anything. I hadn't even finished high school, never had a job. Jude's dad was my whole world. He was a baseball star in high school and all the girls wanted him. I couldn't believe my luck when he chose me out of all the girls at our school." As she spoke, her eyes gleaming, I could see in her the pretty but shy young girl she must have been once. The brightness in her eyes died down quickly. "It turned out not to be so lucky. I was happy off and on, but for Jude's sake, I wish I could take it all back. Children are so precious to their parents. I don't know how a thing like that can go wrong. When Jude was little, his father sometimes doted on him. But that happened less and less as Jude grew and became himself and turned out just too different from his father." She suddenly smiled and looked at me, her eyes shining again, a lot like Jude's. "I'm glad about that now."
I cleared my throat feeling uncomfortable as I thought of Jude and didn't want to change one thing about him. Speaking of Jude, I wondered how long it took to get doughnuts. I would have called for a ride and left, but I really didn't want to go without seeing Jude first.
"He should be here. He left so early," Jude's mom said as if she knew what I was thinking. She looked at the time on the microwave then checked her phone.
"How early?" I asked her.
"He was gone when I got up. He texted me that he was out getting doughnuts. That's why I'm not making breakfast right now."
Getting out my phone, I texted him, "Where are you?" I got no answer.
"I'll call him," I told her and stepped out of the kitchen.
"Are you on your way back?" I asked him as soon as he answered before he could say anything. I had a bad feeling.
There was a pause with only the sound of Jude breathing on the other end. My anxious breathing synced with his as I waited for him to speak.
He finally spoke, his voice hushed. "No. I'm leaving town. I hate to leave my mom to deal with everything, so I want you to be there for your dad. Please."
I stopped breathing and rubbed my temples. I couldn't have heard him right. "What the hell are you talking about? Jude, where are you?"
"I'm leaving town. With Rooster and everything, I can't stay here any more. It's the best thing. Just visit with your dad, please. Help my mom out if you can. Bye." That was all he said.
"Jude!"
***
~Jude~
I hadn't planned to speak to Carter yet, but when he called me, I found myself greedy for his voice and I answered. Now I was hanging up and my name was the last thing I heard him say.
How could I not answer when he called? A text from Carter, only three words, made me stop breathing. I couldn't text back because I didn't want to lie about where I was.
Not that it mattered. He was probably back at the motel by now. I knew he wouldn't stay at the house for long. He wouldn't rush after me either. The truth was, Carter might be relieved to have me gone. But I was getting on a bus any minute now, so it wouldn't matter either way.
As soon as I took up my phone and saw Carter's name, my hands started to tremble. After I hung up, they were still trembling. I let out a shuddering breath and gripped the strap of my backpack tighter. It was time to start heading for my bus.
I had stopped in an alcove by the parking lot so I could talk where it was quiet. As soon as I stepped out of it, a thick body blocked my way. I tried to step to the side. Just as he blocked me again, I registered that sneering face. Terror gripped me in an instant. It was Rooster.
"Not so fast, baby boy," he said.
I spun around, ready to run. He grabbed me and slammed me into the wall. Jarred by the impact, I staggered and was caught. A muscular arm wrapped around my neck and a fist jabbed my head twice. My head throbbed from the punches, but I fought to stay conscious.
"Rent is due," I heard him say with a laugh.
Trapped in a chokehold, I felt him drag me backwards before I passed out.
***
~Carter~
I tried to call Jude back but he didn't answer. Staring at my phone, I didn't know how to tell Jude's mother what he just told me. As I hesitated, she came out of the kitchen. She probably heard me yelling.
"What's going on?" she said.
I took a deep breath. "Jude plans to leave town. But don't worry. I'll go find him and bring him back. Ok?"
She didn't say anything, just stared at me, her eyes full of fear.
"Call him and keep calling him. Talk him out of it," I told her partly because it might work and also to give her something to do. "I'm going to call Tara. She'll know where to look if he's not somewhere obvious like the bus station."
"He never brought your father's car back," Jude's mom said, frantically trying to figure out where he would have gone. "He couldn't have taken it even to the bust depot."
"That will slow him down and he'll be easier to find. Try not to worry," I said to her as I headed out. She looked so scared. It broke my heart. All this time Jude had stuck it out, stayed by her side, stayed strong.
His strength was well hidden, sometimes even from himself, but he didn't give up, not on me and not on my father, and not on his friend Dave, wherever he might be. Now Jude was giving up, running. That hand that had been reaching out for me was gone. Finally Jude had turned away.
He was doing what I had tried to do and I was walking toward the bus depot, trying to stop him, if he was there. Tara didn't answer my call right away so I sent her texts as I walked.
Jude wouldn't let me leave town and now he was pulling the same crap. Maybe he just wanted to get away from a bastard like me. The only reason he didn't turn his back on me before now was because he was used to a lot worse.
Finally I got Tara on the phone.
"Why are you calling me? What's wrong?" she asked before I could speak. She obviously didn't look at the texts before she answered.
"Do you know where Jude is?" I was hoping for a yes, maybe she would say he was right there with her.
"What do you mean?" she asked with a panicky edge to her voice.
"Fuck."
"What did you do? Where is Jude?" she yelled.
"That's what I was asking you. He's leaving town right now. I don't know where he is," I told her. "My car is in the shop, so I'm walking to the bus depot. Pick me up on the way."
"He wouldn't leave his mom or your father, maybe not even you," she insisted, clinging to denial.
"Really? And what if he thought he was protecting us by leaving?" I asked.
She knew the answer. "Fuck. That idiot. He would do that like a million times over."
"Would he hitchhike or take the bus?" I asked her.
"I don't know."
"Well, think, and pick me up on West 62 Street or meet me at the bus depot," I told her.
"What the hell good are you?"
"I'm another set of eyes. Now hurry up!" I yelled to get her moving.
"I'm already in my car!" she yelled back then hung up.
I was two thirds of the way to the bus depot when Tara pulled up alongside me. "Get in," she ordered me and barely waited until I was in before peeling out of there.
As soon as I got in the car, she started yelling at me. "How could you let him go? Anyone with any sense would have ditched you, but not Jude! He's too good for you."
"Can we just find him?"
"You better hope we're not too late or you are a dead man! How's your head?" She gave me a quick glance.
"My head is fine. Let's find Jude."
"I'm placing my bet on the bus station," Tara said, but she was also thinking ahead. "If he's not there, we can drive around and see if he's trying to hitch a ride at some likely spots, but I don't think hitchhiking would be Jude's first choice."
I didn't like either option. "Lots of buses leave early in the morning. Jude might already be on one of them," I said gloomily. "I don't think he would have told me he was leaving if he thought I could catch up to him."
I thought back to how persistent Jude was when he thought I was leaving town. Now that he was gone, it was my turn to go crazy looking for him.
Tara was just as determined. "Then we'll chase him down, force his bus off the road and drag him out kicking and screaming," Tara said. I wasn't sure she wouldn't actually do it.
"Or we might go with a saner option," I said but Tara didn't look like she was in the mood to consider any sane options yet. "If Jude got on a bus, we need to know which way he went."
"We'll ask around the bus station, but I'm still hoping we catch him before he leaves. Do you have any pics of Jude on your phone you can show around?" she asked me as she turned into the bus depot parking lot.
"Of course not," I told her.
"Of course not?!" She turned to me and looked ready to pick a fight right then and there. "Fuck you. I'll text you one, asshole."
I had no reason to have a picture of Jude, but now my chest felt too tight at the thought that I didn't. The one Tara sent me was nice, taken at an angle, sun shining off Jude's fair hair, a half smile on his face but his eyes serious. Fuck, he was so beautiful. I felt like I might fall apart just looking at him.