~Carter~
Gripping the wheel too tightly, Tara drove while at the same time looking out the driver's side window, searching for Jude. I kept an eye on the other side of the street.
We didn't really expect to see him just walking around. That blind hope was fading fast. Tara hadn't heard back from him. He didn't answer his mother's calls. When I contacted Jude's mom, I only dared to text her. I was afraid my voice might give away too much if we spoke.
Clinging to that last, desperate shred of hope, I scanned the sidewalks and the alleys we passed. I would have given anything to spot Jude along the way. What if I never saw him again?
Jude's bright eyes tormented me, the way they said so much, the way they looked while I fucked him. I made myself blind to what it would mean to lose him, but now it was coming at me full force, not in fits and starts but hard like a storm. I had to find him.
As we got closer to Pekoe, Tara drove recklessly fast, but I didn't comment. If I was behind the wheel, I would have been driving like a maniac too.
Still I kept hoping we were wrong even as Tara pulled up a few yards down from a gray, dilapidated building. The windows were boarded up and the front doors padlocked. There were signs everywhere warning people to keep out.
"We don't call the cops, right?" Tara said. She looked nervous, kind of frozen.
"If he has Jude... I don't know what this guy will do if he sees cops coming," I said. And if he left Jude somewhere beat up and bleeding, I would need a free hand to do whatever it took to get him to tell me where. I didn't say that to Tara.
"We start in the basement," she said as she turned the engine off.
"No, we don't. You need to stay in the car. You're more use to Jude out here than in there. If anything goes wrong, you call the cops," I told her.
"Maybe we should call them right now," she said, but she didn't look sure.
"And tell them what? We don't know anything. If Jude isn't here, we need to keep looking. Talking to cops will keep us tied up here all day. Just be ready to dial 911 if you hear anything or if I don't come out. If I do come out, be ready to drive out of here."
"Fuck. Fine."
I was surprised she was cooperating, but I didn't question it. It unnerved me though. The obstinate, bitchy Tara was more reassuring. Her quiet fear only reinforced mine.
I approached the building from its blind side. That's where it was too close to the next building across an alley so there were no windows. There was a set of stairs under the main entrance leading to the basement apartment. Skinny windows stood at ground level. They were so narrow, they weren't even boarded up. That meant one way in, one way out.
I went down the steps as quietly as I could. The door had been padlocked, but the padlock was off, cut.
Taking a deep breath, I pushed against the door. It wasn't locked but it didn't budge. I wasn't going to stop though. Jude might be in there. As I shoved at the door hard, I told myself to be ready for anything, even finding him dead.
***
~Jude~
Rooster was too close now and still leaning closer, smirking at me for being helpless to stop him. "My sweet baby boy," he crooned.
The stench of his breath wafted over my face. The sound of his voice made me go dead inside, waiting for the pain just like back then.
Then I remembered what he did to Dave. "Get the fuck away from me!" I screamed, kicking at him.
I didn't get in one solid kick before Rooster was on me, kneeling on my thighs, pressing me down, trapping and smothering me. I twisted away from him, but I couldn't evade his touch.
He patted my face then slapped me a few times. Grabbing a handful of my hair, he slammed his forehead into mine and squeezed my throat. He let me go with a grunt.
That was just a taste of what was to come. My breathing ragged, my head pounding, I gulped air, feeling it burn my throat. I tried to break the pipe that held me, but it only shifted from the wall. It was more solid than it seemed.
Rooster laughed at my effort and started trying to undo my belt. I jerked and kicked, not letting him. Loosing patience, Rooster backhanded me a few times. I still kept bucking and struggling and Rooster looked worriedly behind me, like he thought I might just break that pipe.
He had a simple solution. He grabbed my neck and tightened his grip until I went still. I was helpless again. If my body couldn't escape, maybe my mind could, but I had never been good at that trick. Pain always pulled me back demanding that I pay attention and stay in the moment.
As my vision darkened, the familiar scene played again—Rooster grinning at my pain while I tried to transport myself somewhere else. I was tired, in pain and lightheaded. All I wanted was to just pass out.
No. This wasn't supposed to be happening again.
Then a voice spoke up firmly from out of the darkness that swallowed me. It said my name in a gruff tone, reminding me why I couldn't give up.
Rooster let me go just as I was about to pass out. He knew my limits too well. As I gasped for breath, the belt was biting into my wrists, but with all my struggling, it felt looser. If only I had time I could get out of it.
I decided to give myself that time. I braced myself against the pipe, twisted my whole body and dislodged Rooster from my thighs. I pulled my legs in fast and kicked him as hard as I could.
Not hard enough. All I did was make him mad. Rooster was on me again. With one hand he pressed my head into the wall. With the other he crushed my windpipe. My vision darkened to a pinhole. My ears ringing with Rooster's cursing, I heard my heartbeat slowing down.
Then there was another sound, a terrible, loud, clanging noise. It was coming from the door, but I couldn't figure it out. Was someone trying to break in?
The noise got Rooster's attention too. He got off me and headed for the door. Frantically, I worked on getting my hands out of that belt. There wasn't enough give. I yanked and scraped my wrists but I was still trapped.
The door was shaking while Rooster waited with a metal pipe raised high over his head. Something was slamming into that old rusted washer over and over again. The impact was moving the washer inch by inch. Then there was enough room for the door to smash hard.
That's when Carter burst in. Off balance, he fell to one side. Rooster swung the pipe too high and missed. That was the only thing that saved Carter, but now Rooster was swinging again. This time Carter was ready. He barreled at him and brought him down, the pipe clattering away.
Carter's eyes landed on me for only an instant before he went right for Rooster. Rooster tried punching him, but Carter punched harder and faster. Several hard, well aimed blows had Rooster flailing.
Carter didn't pause, didn't let him recover. His fists were a blur. Whatever it took, Rooster was staying down. He didn't stop until Rooster was passed out and bloody, no threat to anyone.
Standing up, swaying, Carter came over to me. Saying my name, he dropped to his knees. His knuckles were bloody, his hands shaking as he reached behind me to free me.
"You're Ok. You're Ok," he kept repeating.
Free of the belt, my hands felt numb, useless, but I reached for Carter anyway. I fell against his chest, heaving. Body laced with pain, I didn't know how I could stand to be touched, but I had to have the feel of Carter against me. I needed it more than life.
***
~Carter~
When I saw Jude, my heart almost stopped. He was bloody and barely conscious. I was horrified to see him like that and afraid to touch him. I held him as gently as I could.
"I want to get out of here," he croaked, hardly able to speak. With those bruises on his neck, I was surprised he could speak at all. Surprising me even more, he tried to stand up.
"Take it easy. I got you," I told him and helped him up. How could he seem so broken and still keep moving forward?
With me holding him up, we made it to the door before he collapsed. I cradled him and called his name while his eyelids fluttered.
I wanted to take Jude in my arms and make everything all right. I wanted to draw him tight against me. I wanted to keep hold of him forever, but I was afraid of hurting him.
He was bruised and bleeding. His old injuries still hadn't healed and now there were new ones on top of them. Jude was in pain and it broke my heart. When they opened fully, his eyes were cloudy like they couldn't take in the world around him.
"You're here," he said as if he thought I might be a mirage.
"Where else would I be?" I asked him, my voice rough with pent up emotion. "You're the one who tried to run off like an idiot."
"Don't yell at me while I'm injured," he said. For a moment he seemed clear, but then he looked at me once again like he didn't believe what he was seeing. "Did you save me?"
"If you want to call it that," I told him, sounding curt though I didn't mean to.
Jude was ready to get moving again and we went up one arduous step at a time.
"I didn't know anyone could find me," he said.
"You didn't give up, did you?" I didn't keep the accusation out of my voice. We were at the top now and I guided him toward the curb so we could sit down.
"Of course not. I couldn't give up. In my head, you were calling my name and you sounded kind of pissed," Jude mumbled. He looked off to the side, and I saw that Tara was there now. At first she just stood there looking horrified to see Jude in that condition, but then she snapped out of it.
She helped me lower Jude to the curb. I got down next to him so he could lean on me. I was dialing 911 while Tara leaned over Jude looking furious.
"He was pissed? Worry about pissing me off!" she yelled.
"Sorry. Didn't mean to make you worry," Jude said and gave her a weak smile.
Hearing his apology, Tara was ready to blow her top for sure. Then her expression changed and I got the impression that she kept from bursting into tears through a sheer force of will.
That's when I felt a shudder pass through Jude. "Are you Ok?" I asked scared that something was very wrong with him.
"It's not me," Jude said in a hushed whisper. "It's Dave."
"Dave? Do you know something?" Tara asked but she sounded like she was afraid to hear the answer.
"Rooster gave him drugs. Dave overdosed and Rooster dumped his body somewhere in Hanover Marsh." Jude gulped air and I pulled him closer.
Now Tara did burst into tears dropping on her knees next to Jude. He reached his hand out, clasping hers as they both cried.
Tara was cursing miserably between sobs. Police sirens were coming closer all the time, and soon they drowned out her sounds of grief. Feeling Jude shaking in my arms as sobs wracked his whole body, I kissed his tear stained face and held him as tightly as I dared.