When it got quiet. When all the men who had been Tourmaline’s family when her family had fractured went down to the fire—their forms looming as distorted onyx shadows against the trees. When the woman with the tinkling earrings showed up and Dad held court with her by his side. When Cash gave up texting her because she wasn’t texting back. When he stopped shooting her confused glances. When he stopped looking at all. When it was only her, with her legs pulled up, gently swinging on Jason’s porch in the dark.
There the blossom started falling apart in her hands, a flower long picked and the petals wilting in pieces.
There was more noise. There was more drinking. There were more women she didn’t know. Women arrived who were not far from her age. Ray stayed a secret the Wardens all shared that held power she did not have. And it suddenly occurred to her that a flock of starlings would eventually be pinned to Cash’s as-yet-undecorated vest. The starlings, which all the men had in some manner, stood for—as the state’s attorney had put it—“sexual feats and conquests.”
Desperately, she tried to tack the petals back on—to remember these nights as they had been. To bring back the feeling of life and power and magic. She’d fall asleep on her mother’s lap with bits of marshmallow still stuck to her fingers. Her father would carry her to bed smelling of wood smoke and gunpowder. The hollow but not vacant eyes of the horned skull on his jacket would be the last thing she saw before he turned out the light and her eyes weighed shut.
The dogwoods had fallen. Crushed beneath heavy boots.
Virginia came out of the house and plopped down beside her on the swing, startling Tourmaline away from watching the men in the dark.
“How is . . . you know . . . going?” Virginia asked.
“It’s complicated,” Tourmaline muttered.
“Oh.” Virginia took a deep breath and withered into the hard-backed swing. “Well, that makes two of us.” She leaned into Tourmaline’s shoulder and said nothing else.
The swing creaked, back and forth. The air mixed with honeysuckle and wood smoke.
Tourmaline whispered, “All this time, I thought I had the life I’d intended to have. Until someone told me it was just a toy they’d made me to keep me quiet.”
“I envy your toys,” Virginia muttered.
“There’s no place for a grown girl here.”
Virginia snorted. “You’re right. No girls. Only women.”
Tourmaline’s throat choked tight. Mom had done all this. Mom, who’d picked up a strange man eight years older than she was. Mom, who wore a damn thong on the back of a Harley in a huge crowd. Mom, who kept the books in Dad’s office detailing the club’s history. Mom, who had taken her crown on her own, before putting it down for the black tar highway.
And again, there was an empty space where Tourmaline had hoped for the gentle, older hands of a wise woman.
A burst of laughter erupted from the woods.
Both girls looked out over the railing.
Someone—Jason?—was dancing with a girl . . . or rather the girl was dancing on him . . . one of those who had drifted in since the families had gone home.
Tourmaline had the distinct impression it was past her bedtime.
“Aubrey,” Virginia spat. “I’d recognize that stupid hands-on-her-knees move anywhere. It’s her signature.” She stretched out a long leg out and pushed off the railing.
The swing groaned and whined as it swung back.
Tourmaline kept watching Aubrey, transfixed. How had Mom done this? If Tourmaline wanted Cash, she’d have to do the same. Somehow. Her way. There wasn’t anything wrong or right in that. If she didn’t want to stand and take her place, she didn’t have to. But if she wanted him, this was the world she’d have to master. “You once said the worst thing you ever did was be naive.” Someone turned up the music, but Tourmaline didn’t look. “We have that in common.”
“It’s the worst.”
“The worst,” Tourmaline echoed, but her words felt lost inside the pulsating beat.
Our fate cannot be taken.
The night breeze caressed her face. She’d never appropriated those words for herself—they were always her parents’. The Wardens’. But now she wondered. What was her fate?
“There you are, girls.” Her father’s voice boomed in the dark.
Tourmaline jumped. Virginia sat upright.
Tourmaline’s father came up the steps, stepping into the light with a smile. “Time for you girls to get going. I’m staying out here tonight. Make sure you lock the doors when you get home, okay?”
Tourmaline swallowed. “Can we stay?”
“Here?” Her father blinked, mouth open, looking outright horrified.
Tourmaline blushed. “Yeah. I mean. Until we’re tired.” And, because neither she nor he actually wanted her to stay in the least, she smiled sweetly. “Why not?”
“No, honey. It’s not . . .” He shook his head and looked away. “You don’t want to hang out here. With a bunch of old men. Go home, and you and Virginia have fun. Watch movies or something. The fireworks are over.” He patted her cheek and went inside.
“Wow, you really showed him,” Virginia said dryly.
“Your commentary is so helpful.”
“I try.” Virginia stood like a rousing panther, bringing all her power back into her limbs.
Dad came back out onto the porch with a bag of chips, giving them a strange look as he passed, boots thumping quickly down the steps. “Get on home, girls,” he yelled back when he hit the yard.
“Don’t you want to say good-bye?” Virginia asked, giving her a meaningful look.
Yes. She wanted to say hello, too. And answer Cash’s texts. And go over to where he was putting ice in a cooler, wrap her arm around his waist, and stand alongside him. But Jason’s warning was fresh in her mind. “It’s complicated.”
“Well, then.” Virginia pulled her keys out. “If there’s no trouble for us here, let’s go find trouble elsewhere.”
They drove out the long dirt road and turned onto the highway, switch-backing up the mountain with the radio cranked and the windows rolled down. They took deep breaths of the mountain air, gathering energy for another round.
The truck began to drift toward the edge of the road, but just when Tourmaline looked over to Virginia, expecting her to correct course, Virginia slumped over the wheel.
A massive upheaval stole Tourmaline’s scream.
The truck bucked wildly. The road fell away into brush. A tree appeared, and just as fast, the truck folded around it with a terrible crumpling sound.
She lifted her head, dazed. What had happened? She blinked, trying to make sense of it.
Virginia was draped forward on the steering wheel, head lolling.
“Oh, shit.” Tourmaline smashed at the seat belt release, but it didn’t budge. She strained to Virginia’s neck, fingers trembling as she felt for a pulse.
“What?” Virginia murmured from underneath her tangled hair.
Relief flooded through her. “Are you o—”
Virginia’s door was wrenched open. A man ducked inside.
“Oh, thank God,” Tourmaline said, trying to catch her breath. “I don’t know what happened—”
But the man just pushed Virginia out of the way—carelessly, roughly, as if she were a bag of groceries tumbled in the back.
Tourmaline froze, heart pounding as she tried to make sense of what was happening.
Virginia’s head twisted and thumped against the side of the truck. Her eyes opened halfway, glazed and lost, meeting Tourmaline’s in the dark.
“V? Are you all right?” Tourmaline struggled against the seat belt, trying to slip out. “What are you doing?” she yelled at the man.
He ignored her, unbuckling Virginia’s seat belt and yanking her out.
“Stop. Wait.” Tourmaline stretched and grabbed at Virginia’s wrist. This was all wrong. Why wasn’t Virginia fighting?
With a grunt, he wrenched Virginia away, dragging her out of the truck.
“Let her go!” Tourmaline screamed.
The man threw Virginia over his shoulder, a dark hulking shadow in the night. He started up the hill, Virginia’s head bobbing behind.
Tourmaline smashed the seat belt release over and over, but the belt only tightened down on her. “Bring her back!” she screamed. The memory of what she’d told Jason whispered in her ear, mockingly. Easier to get picked off apart.
She screamed again and kicked at the dashboard. The seat belt choked her. Steam hissed out of the engine, billowing haze between her and the dark woods.
“She’s my friend!” Tourmaline yelled, crying.
But there was no one to hear.