Introduction

So, before we get going on this book, there are a few little things that I think would be helpful for me to explain first (with thanks to my editor and publisher for pointing out what a reader might be missing, or basically telling me what else I had to include!).

For starters, this is a personal story—a memoir—not a textbook about Asperger’s Syndrome. So please don’t accidentally buy it looking for formal information! I know for some people, having the word “Asperger’s” in the title did create the impression that it may be an information resource, but it’s far from that. It is a story about me—a true story, as the people in marketing like to write, but coming from a very Aspie perspective.

You’ll also find as you read this book that it’s very personal, with a lot of talk about feelings and relationships, particularly my relationships with other women. So if you have a fondness for reflection, psychology, and a little behind-the-scenes gossip, I think you’ll really enjoy how private and juicy the book gets! But I know not everyone is into that sort of thing, so if you aren’t, sorry—this book will probably have you drowning in boredom! It’s a bit of a girly book, as they say. And if you hate that sort of stuff but have already bought it… Um… Um… Oh, look how nice the weather is today…

Now to quickly divert the topic to something else!

I know that I do tend to use the word “Aspie” a lot when I write. Aspie, Asperger’s, Asperger’s Syndrome, Autism, and Aspie again. And I guess you may find it surprising that I don’t spend much time explaining these terms or attempting to pass on generic Asperger’s information in the book. In fact, I make you wait all the way until Chapter Thirty-Five to even give my description of what Asperger’s actually is, which I know—*groan, grumble, complain*—is a long time to wait!

But please bear with me in doing this, as it wasn’t just a complete failure to think it through! I had my reasons. You see, for most of my life, I didn’t know Asperger’s even existed. I grew up with the premise that I was perfectly normal, with a just few quirks and differences to my personality. Okay, perhaps quite a few then, but they were nothing outrageous! So I always assumed that it was personality-based and I was simply unique. No one ever told me that I had a syndrome!

So when I first thought about sitting down and writing out a list of typical Aspie behaviors, I recoiled at the idea of presenting myself that way, because I really didn’t want to be branded as simply someone with a “syndrome.” I wanted a chance to first come across as me. No lists of signs and symptoms, no typical Aspie behaviors charts, just me.

And so, that’s the journey I want you to take with me when reading my story. I want you to see that I’m a real human with real feelings and not someone you would dismiss as lacking in real emotion or ability. And in many ways, I hope I’m still relatable as somebody you could understand and even share some experiences and feelings with, which is why I made a decision early on to let that information just trickle out in bits and pieces as you read through each chapter, in a manner more true to how I came to learn about myself.

Now to please all those who want everything to be strictly accurate. Yes, from 2013, Asperger’s stopped being classified as a syndrome of its own and is now classified as part of the Autism spectrum. So technically, using the term is now incorrect. But you know—details, details! I still like to use the terms Aspie and Asperger’s anyway, because they’re the terms I most relate to.

Anyway, moving on… Another thing you will probably notice about the book—if you haven’t already—is that my style can be rather quirky and unconventional at times. In Chapter One, I wander into a weird discussion about why I laid the book out in question-and-answer format. And as the book progresses, I do address the reader—you!—constantly, which I hear is a literary crime known as breaking the fourth wall. Yes, I admit it: I am a serial fourth wall breaker. But I usually do it for one purpose or another, even if that purpose is often to just insert some (really bad) humor!

You may also notice that the book takes place over about a year, in which time my attitudes and perceptions change quite a bit. So please understand that at the start of the book, all the uncertainty and insecurity I convey is just reflective of the stage I was at, and my outlook does mature and become more positive over time. And as I learn and grow, I give you a lot of insight into my thoughts and feelings, so hopefully, you get a real peek into what was going on in my head as I slowly came to understand and accept my diagnosis.

Oh, and one more thing before I forget. My editor, Hilary, suggested I should warn you about my tendency to use Australian-isms. I was born in Australia and moved to the USA at age thirty. In fact, at least half my story is set in Australia, so please forgive me if I still tend to use the odd bit of good ol’ Aussie slang.

My editor said that in some parts, the slang made her laugh. For example, in America, apparently, people don’t talk about putting babies in capsules^[1]. Really? I don’t see why not. But for the sake of me not getting hauled off by Child Protective Services, we’ve provided translations wherever I’m told it’s necessary… like that one that just popped up then. Great!

So please read on, and I hope you really enjoy my story.

It’s so cool that you’re reading my book!

Michelle