Chapter Fifty-Five: Knowing If You Are an Aspie

Q:		I actually have a few Aspie-like characteristics myself. How would I be able to tell if I was an Aspie?
A:		Knowing you’re an Aspie isn’t something that just happens the second you stumble across it. I think many of us who discover it for ourselves have long periods of questioning and even denial at first. It’s an odd and unbelievable concept to take in that you yourself could be someone different from the norm. Unthinkable.

I remember my thoughts chopping and changing frequently for those first several months after I really looked into it. One week I would be thinking, “Maybe I am an Aspie. It just all seems to fit.” The next, “No, I’m normal. What was I thinking?” Then another discovery or discussion I read would prompt me to think, “Oh, wow! Maybe I really am!” all over again. And so it went on.

I think the reason it takes us so long is because Aspie behavior isn’t an easy thing for a person to see in themselves. Even when our differences are great, they may not stand out to us Aspies because we’re so used to them being our “normal.” We have no experience at being anyone else and don’t perceive ourselves from other people’s points of view. (Theory of mind is not exactly our strong point!)

However, reading about Asperger’s from the point of view of real Aspies is a great way to slowly see it clearly. I started my journey thinking, “Maybe I have a little bit of this,” and read on with curiosity. The more I read, the more it just became apparent that I really am this. It was a case of “everything fits.” After a while, I reached a point where it was undeniable, and “Aspie” began to feel like part of my identity. Now I can’t imagine myself as anything else.

If you suspect that you yourself are an Aspie, it’s quite possible you may be or at least have something with overlapping symptoms. Just the questioning makes me think something is going on, because typical people don’t really tend to ponder these things. They don’t relate to our idiosyncrasies. In this case, the best thing you can do is learn more! From books and articles to online forums and adult Aspie community groups, there’s a lot of information out there.

One easy way to get a better indicator of how likely you are to be an Aspie is to take an online Aspie quiz. They’re easy to find if you Google words like “Aspie,” “Quiz,” “Autism,” etc. However, keep in mind that these tests are only indicative.

Another method I found personally helpful was reading through lists of questions that an Aspie might answer yes to or agree with, such as:

I frequently get so strongly absorbed in one thing that I lose sight of other things. I tend to have very strong interests, which I get upset about not being able to pursue. Have you felt different from others for most of your life? Do you or others think that you have unconventional ways of solving problems? Do people see you as eccentric? Do you have a strong eye for detail? As a child, was your play more directed toward, for example, sorting, building, investigating, or taking things apart than toward social games with other kids? In a social group, it can be difficult to keep track of several different people’s conversations.

And many, many more! I’ve included a rather extensive list of questions in Appendix Two if you’d like to keep reading further examples.

Then, of course, if you really just have to know or you feel that you’re in need of help, there’s always the option of a formal diagnosis.

For some of us, having that label after so many years of not knowing can be a great relief. For others, it’s unnecessary and unappealing to be categorized. Either way, as a grown adult, don’t feel that diagnosis is compulsory if you’re functioning perfectly fine as you are. It’s your choice. Diagnosed, undiagnosed, questioning, or just interested on behalf of a loved one or friend, the Aspie community is pretty welcoming to everyone.