Chapter Fifty-Six: What’s next for me?

Well, isn’t that the big question! Right now, I think I’m in a pretty good place in life and have lots of funny little ideas and daydreams that I’d like to pursue in the future. Many of these are ideas that excite me and make me want to get up and go each day. It’s certainly a different place than where I’ve been in the past.

I’ve been finding a lot of joy in dabbling in photography (and even more so the editing), and I like to imagine having more time to play with that. I’d love it if one day I could get a macro lens and take pictures of bugs up close—creepy to most, I know, but that would be so very me! I’ve even considered getting involved in stock photography if I ever find the time. Being able to make a little money out of something I love would be a positive way of achieving independence. But we’ll see how that goes.

On the work front, I think I still feel a little too troubled from my past experiences to really consider a formal job again, at least in the traditional way. However, if something right for me ever fell into my lap that allowed me the freedom I need to do things my way, then I could be open to it. I do love planning and scheduling things. Maybe someone could pay me to organize elements of other people’s lives or businesses! Just the bits that you do on paper. That might be fun, though I’ve never heard of a job exactly in that field!

I also discovered recently how much fun I have editing sound files, so maybe that’s something else I could look into one day. Again, if I find the time.

On the Asperger’s front, I have many thoughts that inspire me. I feel passionate about communicating to people what Asperger’s really is and what we really need. I’d like to encourage society at large to be more accommodating of us, especially in the workforce, and not just focus on training us to slot in with them. Maybe one day, I could advocate for Asperger’s and/or go around answering questions on the topic. (Presuming it’s not too scary to do so!) I imagine publishing this book could be a great way to initiate that.

I’m happy the League has been started, and I would encourage more such social groups around the world. As an Aspie, the difference it makes to have other like people as friends can’t be emphasized enough. Currently, our group has been dwindling in numbers as people come and go, but I’d like to see it going strong again.

Earlier in the year, we were toying with making podcasts of our Aspie-centered discussions. It would be great if we could pick that up again and turn it into something regular and presentable for all the isolated Aspies out there to listen to and know they’re not alone.

Most exciting, I think, are the daydreams that I have in regards to writing this book. It’s impossible, really, for me to guess how a reader might find my writing. Is it unique and insightful enough to be interesting to a typical person, or will they just see it as boring, boring, boring? I can’t imagine reading it from someone else’s point of view. But I’m determined to try, because there’s so much I wish for people to understand.

I want people to see how, if we Aspies were utilized better, what amazing things we could contribute and how much untapped talent is currently wasting away behind social barriers and difficulties. I want businesses to realize that it requires a certain accommodation of our needs and level of freedom before an Aspie can spread their wings and fly, and we need more opportunities to fly!

It’s possible that this book will never take off as I wish, but I’d like to at least hope that my unique views and experiences will be of interest to the psychological community and/or to other adults with Aspies in their own lives. Even better, I like to daydream that the book might be an interesting story in itself that people would want to share with their typical friends. I could become an “author.”

If I let myself get really carried away, I might sit and stare into space, fantasizing about being added to popular book club reading lists. (Come on, Oprah, help me out here!) I take delight in imagining it making high school reading curriculum and/or being recommended on television shows. It would be a book to educate teenagers about tolerance and accepting others who are different from themselves.

I daydream about how it could be marketed and the various words that could be written on the back cover. I imagine people sharing it around on Facebook and other social media and it becoming a well-known title. I would love to be remembered as someone who made great strides toward helping the high-functioning Autism community become understood by the world and getting people to take an interest in knowing more.

Maybe there could be something special about me once again.

Okay, I know that I really am fantasizing now. I have a way of coming up with daydreams and just can’t help being carried away by the amazing high of all the outcomes I can imagine. It makes me feel like I’m flying—soaring in the air, delirious with happiness. I know it’s unrealistic. I know much of this may never eventuate.

Oh, but I do love to dream…