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Peyton
“Come on, Henna, we’re gonna be late,” I holler through the apartment, growing more irritated by the second.
It was her idea to meet Sam and a couple of the other girls for drinks and now here we are, ten minutes before we’re supposed to be there and she’s still in the bathroom messing with her hair.
“I’m almost done,” she calls from the open door. “Two more minutes.”
“Two? You said that ten minutes ago,” I remind her.
“Just hold your horses,” she snips back, right as there is a knock on the door.
Crossing the living room, I pull the door open, expecting to see Aaron on the other side. Only it’s not Aaron...
“Abel,” I stutter, stunned to see him standing in my doorway. It’s been three weeks since I’ve laid eyes on his handsome face and the sight of him damn near takes my breath away. “What, what are you doing here?”
His gaze drops to my arm that’s held against my torso by a sling. “Are you okay?” he asks, his voice soft.
I follow his line of sight, looking down at my arm before my eyes make their way back to his face.
“I’m okay,” I confirm, shuffling nervously from one foot to the other. “Why are you here, Abel?”
“I’m here for you.”
“Why?”
“What do you mean why?” He seems almost confused by my question.
“Why are you here now?”
He pulls in a deep breath and lets it out slowly, like he’s mentally preparing himself for what comes next.
“I know I owe you an explanation.”
“No, actually you don’t,” I cut him off. Now that the shock of seeing him again is wearing off, all the anger that’s been boiling right below the surface starts spilling over.
“Peyton, I...”
“Please don’t,” I interrupt him before he can say more. “Let’s not make this bigger than it has to be. You told me from the beginning that you couldn’t give me what I need. I should have listened.”
“No, you shouldn’t have. Can I come in? Please. Give me five minutes to explain.”
“I can’t. I’m going out with Henna and the girls,” I say, turning toward the sound of Henna entering the room.
“Actually, you’re not.” Henna looks past me and nods to Abel, whom she doesn’t seem the least bit surprised to see.
“Excuse me?” I narrow my gaze at her.
“We were never meeting the girls,” she tells me. “I just needed you to be ready when Abel got here.”
“Ready for what?” I look between the two of them.
“For our date,” Abel answers.
“I’m not going on a date with you.” I look at him like he’s officially lost it. And hell, maybe he has.
“Yes, you are.” Henna steps into my space and leans in close. “Just hear him out.” She wraps her arms around my neck and gives me a quick squeeze. “I’m going to Aaron’s. Don’t wait up.” She swivels around and slides past Abel into the hallway.
I stand rooted to the spot for a solid minute, not sure what the hell to say or do. I feel at odds with myself. My head is saying one thing, but my heart is on a completely different page.
“You disappeared.”
“I can explain everything. I just need you to give me the chance.”
“And why should I?” My voice rises.
“Because I love you.” The instant those three words leave his mouth I swear it feels like the floor has opened up and swallows me whole. “I’m in love with you. And I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness but I’m hoping you’ll give it to me. Because I don’t want to live without you in my life.”
My heart thunders loudly against my ribcage.
“Can I please come in?” He presses one hand to the frame of the door.
“Okay,” I agree, stepping aside so he can freely enter the apartment.
Shutting the door, I turn to find him standing directly in front of me.
“Since the moment we met I’ve been trying to fight this thing between us. I don’t know if it’s because I wasn’t ready to love someone again or because I was afraid too. But I fell in love just the same. I don’t think I realized just how deep I was in it until the day of your accident. The thought of losing you, it crippled me, and I panicked.”
“Because you were afraid you would lose me just like you lost her.”
“I’ve spent the last three years trying to piece my life back together, but nothing has worked. I felt empty and no matter what I did that feeling never went away. Until you. You brought light back into my life. You made me laugh again. You made me feel again. You were the missing piece I had been searching for. I just didn’t know it at the time.”
“You went to California.” It’s a statement, not a question.
“I did.”
“Why?”
“To say goodbye.” Tears form behind his eyes but not a single one falls. “After Finley died, Claire gave me a note she had left for me.” He reaches around and pulls a folded piece of paper from his pocket. “I think this will explain everything.” He slides the note into my hand.
I unfold it with shaky fingers, my heart beating so hard I can barely hear myself think over the loud strum pulsing in my ears.
And before I even read the first word, I know what a monumental moment this is. Because he’s sharing her with me. He’s letting me in. And that means more than any words he could ever say.
My dearest Abel,
I’ve written this letter so many times in my head that it almost feels rehearsed as I put it on paper for you now. There are so many things I want to say and yet there aren’t nearly enough words to do it.
First, I want you to know how much I love you. Because of you my life ended with happiness and love, which is much different than the way it began. Thank you for that.
I never admitted this to you, but I fell in love with you the very first night we met. How could I not? You took one look at me and I felt my entire world shift. We only spent ten hours together. Thirty-six thousand seconds. Six hundred minutes. However you break it down, those ten hours changed everything. You changed everything.
I’ve told you before that I was grateful to the cancer because it brought me to you. No matter how much I wish our ending had been different, I wouldn’t change one single thing about our story. Because it was the perfect story. Maybe it didn’t end in the traditional version of happily ever after, but I think we came pretty close.
I left Claire with instructions to leave you with half of my ashes. I want you to take me with you, Abel. Keep me close. And when you’re ready, I want you to let me go. You’ll know when the time is right. And when that time comes, take me to the beach where you asked me to be your wife and sprinkle me into the water that once danced around our feet. Let me go, Abel. Let me go, and live. Live your life fully, fearlessly, and without limit. Live for us both. And never forget how much I love you.
Until we meet again,
Just Finley
Tears are falling down my cheeks by the time I reach the end. But my tears aren’t just for Abel. They’re for Finley too. Because she loved him. She loved him like I love him. And she was forced to let him go.
“You took her with you...” I say, piecing it together.
“I did.” He nods, taking the letter back. He folds it slowly and then slides it back into his pocket. “It took me three years, but I finally did what she asked me to do. I let her go.”
“Abel...”
“I will always love her,” he continues without letting me say more. “There isn’t a day that will pass when I won’t think about her and wish our ending could have been different. But I realized something very important these last few days. It’s okay to love you both.”
“Of course it is.” I step closer, my good hand going to his chest.
“I know I’ve made a mess of things. And I know I hurt you.” He reaches up and cups my cheek. “But this was something I needed to do, and I needed to do it before I told you how I feel. Because I want you to know that I mean it. I’m in love with you, Peyton. I’m so in love with you...”
“I love you too,” I cut him off. “I have from the beginning. That’s why I agreed to a casual relationship even though that’s not what I wanted. I wanted you. I wanted you so badly I was willing to take any little piece of you that you were willing to give me.”
“I’m yours.” It’s his turn to interrupt me. “You don’t just get a piece of me, Peyton. You get all of me.” He pulls me close, his mouth hovering right above mine. “That is, if you still want me.”
“I do,” I sob, fresh tears pooling in my eyes.
“Then I’m yours.” He presses his lips to mine and it feels like time slows down around us. Like suddenly we’re the only two people in the world.
The moment is full of unspoken words, yet his touch says it all. I am his. And now, he is mine...
