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A week after her run-in with Mitchell at his farm, Hope drove Margot and Courtney and the babies into town to do some shopping. It was the first time Courtney had been out with the babies since coming home from hospital. They were running low on nappies and although Hope offered to get them for her, Courtney decided it was time to venture outside.
The days had flown, and Hope had kept herself busy helping her cousin and aunt. She hadn’t realised looking after them would consume so much of her time. Not that she was complaining, but it would have been nice to have some time on her own. She’d managed to put Brett out of her mind, but now it was filled with thoughts of Mitchell. Since their kiss, she hadn’t even breathed his name around Courtney fearful her cousin would know something had happened between them.
Hope was having trouble stopping her mind from replaying the events of that day at the farm and the way she’d thrown herself at him like a lovesick teenager. The pull of desire had been so strong and so unexpected that she hadn’t stopped to think. Now she felt pathetic because he’d kissed her then rejected her—again.
The main street of Macarthur Point was made up of a series of shopfronts facing each other across a wide tree-lined street. The street was shaded by massive Norfolk pines and led straight to the ocean where the views across the open expanse of parkland and beach were breathtaking. Today the sun was shining and bouncing off the water. After finding a park, it took Hope ten minutes to figure out how to unfold the triplet pram.
She pretended to wipe sweat from her forehead. ‘Lucky we’re not in a hurry to go anywhere,’ she said as she helped take the babies from their car seats and lay them in the pram.
Courtney chuckled. ‘I couldn’t do this on my own. Even when I am officially allowed to drive again, I’ll still need your help.’
‘I wish I wasn’t so useless,’ Margot grumbled.
‘Mum.’ Courtney scowled at her mother. ‘Stop complaining and be grateful Hope is here for both of us. And remember you are helping, just in a different way.’ She smiled and gave Margot a hug. ‘Your advice is wonderful, Mum. If I hadn’t listened to you, I’d still be up every hour feeding. You’ve done wonders helping get these little ones into a better routine. So, thank you.’
Margot hugged Courtney back. ‘I’m so proud of you, sweetheart.’
They spent the next hour wandering in and out of the shops and stopping and chatting to everyone. Typical for a Saturday morning, it seemed like the entire town was out and about. Everyone knew Margot and Courtney which meant every single person stopped to gush over the babies. Hope loved watching Courtney greet people with the easy familiarity that came from living in a small town where you knew almost everyone. Macarthur Point was the type of place that made you feel like if you didn’t already know everyone, you soon would.
‘I should be charging people to look,’ Courtney griped good-naturedly at one point. ‘But at least they’re sleeping through all the fuss. I wouldn’t want them to think they’re special or anything.’
Hope laughed. ‘They are special. Triplets are a novelty, so you’d better get used to this.’
The morning passed quickly and soon it was time for the babies to be fed. They headed to the Surf and Paddle, one of three cafés in the main street but it was packed, so they crossed the road again and went to The Book Barn instead.
It was a large area with worn, hardwood floors and high ceilings. Built-in bookshelves ran along two walls, full to overflowing with all kinds of books. Couches and coffee tables filled the space, making it seem more like the loungeroom of a heritage-listed mansion than a cafe.
While Courtney fed the babies, Hope ordered an early lunch.
They were almost finished eating when the door opened, and a woman entered. It took Hope a moment to place her but when Margot waved her over, she remembered. It was Beth, Mitchell’s foster mother.
‘Hello, Margot, Courtney.’ She glanced at Hope then did a double take. ‘Hope Rossi?’
Hope smiled. ‘Hello Mrs. Simpson.’
‘Mitch didn’t tell me you were back in town,’ Beth said with a smile. ‘You look wonderful.’
‘Thank you. So, do you. How’s Ian?’
Beth’s smile fell. ‘He’s not as well as he used to be. Alzheimer’s.’
‘I’m so sorry,’ Hope said. ‘That must be hard on you.’
‘I think it’s harder on our kids to see their dad like this.’
Hope smiled. She’d always admired the way Beth referred to their foster children in a way that made it sound like they were her own flesh and blood. For a woman who’d never borne children of her own, she was the most maternal person Hope knew. As a teenager, she’d envied the upbringing Mitchell and Jordan had, until Mitchell had told her how different his life had been before he was taken in by Bill and Beth and given a second chance. No doubt Mitchell would be struggling with losing the man he most admired in the world.
‘Mitchell and Jordan are such wonderful young men. I’m so glad they’re still around town. They’ve been such a help to me.’ There was no mistaking the love and pride in Beth’s voice.
‘Aren’t children such a blessing?’ Margot agreed. She jiggled Charlotte in her arms and smiled at her daughter. ‘And grandchildren are an even greater blessing.’
Beth seemed to notice Courtney and the babies then. ‘Oh my, hello, sweetheart. How are you going? And how are these little darlings doing?’ She peered into the pram. ‘Who do we have here?’
‘That’s Oliver. This is Piper.’ Courtney indicated the baby feeding at her breast. ‘And Mum is holding Charlotte. You’re welcome to pick him up.’
‘If that’s okay with you, I’d love to hold him. I’ve had a tickle in my throat lately, but it’s nothing serious. Just a silly cough that’s been hanging around. Probably my hay fever playing up.’ She smiled. ‘You know what it’s like this time of year.’ She scooped the sleeping Oliver in her arms and held him close, smothering his face with kisses. ‘He is a darling.’ She looked from Courtney and Piper to Margot and Charlotte. ‘They all are. Simply divine.’ She turned back to Courtney. ‘How are you doing? I can’t imagine how difficult it is to cope with one newborn, let alone three. I hope that husband of yours is helping.’
Courtney chuckled. ‘Lachie has been amazing, but he’s had to go back to work. If it wasn’t for Hope, I think I’d still be in the hospital, rocking in the corner and refusing to come home.’
‘Rubbish,’ Hope said. ‘You’re doing amazingly well.’
Beth turned back to Hope. ‘Is that why you’re back in Macarthur Point? To help Courtney?’
Hope nodded. ‘And to care for Margot too.’
Beth frowned as she turned her attention on Margot. ‘Are you unwell too?’
‘I’m fine now,’ Margot assured her. ‘But I had open heart surgery six weeks ago.’
Beth clutched her chest. ‘Oh, my goodness. I’m so behind on the news these days. What happened?’
While Margot filled Beth in, Hope helped Courtney by taking Piper from her arms and settling her back in the pram. Margot handed over Charlotte who was now awake and mewling for her feed.
‘I saw Jordan the other night,’ Margot was saying. ‘He and his new girlfriend came over for dinner. Looks serious.’
‘Ah, yes. Elizabeth. She seems nice enough. Not the type of girl I thought Jordan would end up with, but what do I know?’ Beth shrugged. ‘I was worried he’d never settle down, but it looks like Elizabeth will make an honest man of him. I expect we’ll hear wedding bells before too long. Must say, it’s about time.’
‘What about Mitchell?’ Margot asked. ‘I haven’t seen him in ages.’
Hope held her breath waiting for Beth to wax lyrical about Mitchell’s latest girl. She felt her face flame and willed Courtney not to look at her or she’d know something was up.
Beth sighed. ‘I don’t know what to do about Mitchell. He cares more about his animals than he does people. Always did, but it’s worse as he’s gotten older.’
‘Oh well, I’m sure that will change when he meets the right woman,’ Margot said.
‘I can only hope so. He’s not getting any younger. He’ll be forty next year.’ Beth faced Hope again. ‘Such a shame you two never got your act together when you were younger. I always thought you’d make a great couple.’
Hope felt herself colour. ‘We were just good friends. I’m sure he never noticed I existed,’ she lied. She wasn’t sure what Beth would say if she knew the truth. That they had gotten their act together once.
Beth chuckled. ‘Oh, I can assure you Mitch knew you existed. All we ever heard about was Hope this and Hope that. I’m disappointed he never asked you out. And then you got ... sick . . .’ Her voice trailed off and she glanced away, as people often did when they didn’t know what to say about her cancer or her leg.
‘It’s ancient history,’ Hope said. It was better to be up front about her leg as it made people feel less awkward. ‘And I’m well now. Cancer free. The best decision I ever made was to have my leg removed.’ She smiled at Beth. ‘It saved my life.’
‘How do you manage?’ Beth asked. ‘I can’t imagine how hard it must have been for you.’
‘At the time it was difficult, but now it’s hardly an issue. There’s not much I can’t do.’
‘That’s the girl.’ Beth patted her shoulder. ‘Have you seen Mitchell yet?’
Her change of subject was so fast it almost gave Hope whiplash.
‘I’m sure he’d love to catch up with you once he knows you’re back in town,’ Beth continued.
Hope hesitated. If she lied, Courtney would know instantly, because Hope was a shocking liar. If she admitted she had seen him, Court would have a million questions. None of which she could answer in front of this audience.
She was saved from having to answer Beth when Oliver whimpered. Hope picked him up and used his dummy to soothe him until Courtney finished feeding Charlotte.
‘I should leave you ladies to finish your lunch. It was so lovely to see you all.’ Beth kissed Margot on the cheek, patted Courtney on the arm, then paused. She stared at Hope, seeming to peer into places Hope didn’t want anyone to see. ‘Have you been through a tough time recently, dear?’
How did Beth know that?
Instant tears pricked Hope’s eyes and she blinked rapidly and pasted on a smile. ‘It’s been a rough month, yes, but I’m fine now.’
Beth’s eyes bore deeper into Hope’s and Hope squirmed.
‘I’m glad you’re here now. Macarthur Point has always been your home. Stay as long as you need to heal.’ She gave a wave and was gone.
Hope breathed out slowly, relieved Beth hadn’t pried any deeper.
She hadn’t escaped Margot or Courtney though. Two pair of troubled eyes met hers.
‘Any time you want to talk, sweetheart, we’re always here to listen,’ Margot said kindly. ‘I’m sure you’re still dealing with breaking up with Brett.’
Hope smiled to put them at ease. ‘Thank you, both. I know you’re here for me if I need you. But honestly, I’m fine.’
After a pause, Margot stood and picked up her handbag. ‘Promise me you’ll let us know if we can do anything to help.’
‘I will,’ Hope assured her. ‘
‘Right. I’ll go and pay then. You two sit a bit longer.’
When she left, Courtney placed Piper in the pram and took Oliver from Hope.
Margot returned. ‘I’ve ordered you both another coffee and a piece of lemon slice each. I’m going over the road into Country Living. They have a fifty percent off everything sale.’
Hope laughed. Aunt Margot could sniff out a bargain from a hundred metres with her eyes closed.
‘Take your time, Mum. We’re not going anywhere. Hope and I have plenty to chat about.’ Courtney waited until Margot was out of earshot.
‘When are you going to see him?’
‘Who?’
Courtney rolled her eyes. ‘You are the worst liar.’
Hope sighed. ‘How do you do it? You somehow manage to read my mind like it’s a diary and you hold the key to the lock. I haven’t so much as breathed his name around you.’
Courtney chuckled. ‘Which is why I knew there was something going on. It’s what you haven’t said.’ She leaned forward and rested her elbows on the table. ‘So, are you going to see him?
‘I already have,’ Hope replied, quirking a smile.
Courtney’s eyes widened. ‘When?’
Hope told her about the cow and the farm and Len, omitting any other details. They could wait.
Courtney’s eyes shone. ‘Please tell me you learned something from all those romance novels you love to read, and you leapt into his arms and declared your undying love.’
Hope’s chest tightened. She basically had and look where that had got her.
‘I always thought you and Mitchell would be so perfect together. You were such good friends back in the day and everyone knows it’s the perfect universal romance trope. Friends to lovers.’
‘In romance novels maybe. But in real life?’ Hope shrugged. ‘The happily ever after isn’t guaranteed.’
Piper had fallen asleep on Hope’s shoulder. She grabbed the wrap and took her time swaddling her then laying her gently in the pram. Maybe now was the time to tell her cousin what had really happened between her and Mitchell all those years ago.
‘Do you remember the summer holidays before I got sick?’ Hope asked.
Courtney nodded. ‘End of year eleven. Yeah I remember.’
‘The guys were at the end of their fourth year at university,’ Hope said.
‘That’s right.’ Courtney winked. ‘And, if I also remember correctly, you and Mitchell spent the whole summer joined at the hip.’
Hope chuckled. ‘I’m surprised you noticed. You were attached by the lips to Lachie.’
‘True,’ Courtney said with a chuckle.
She burped Oliver and swaddled him tight before handing him to Hope for a cuddle. As she gently rocked him and patted his bottom, his little eyes slowly closed, and a tiny smile formed on his lips. Hope smiled. Milk-drunk. At least he hadn’t been coughing as much in the last day or so. Poor little mite coughed so hard his little face looked like a beetroot. At least Courtney had taken him to Jordan.
‘That was the most incredible summer,’ Courtney said.
‘It was. The best I’d had in all the years I visited the Point. Anyway, the night before I left, Mitchell and I snuck off together.’
‘I remember now. A bunch of us were down at the beach having a bonfire. I covered for you.’ Courtney frowned. ‘Now you mention it. I don’t recall whether you came home that night.’
The memory resurfaced, as it had done since Hope arrived in Macarthur Point and seen Mitchell.
‘I didn’t come home. We spent the night together.’
Courtney’s jaw dropped. ‘You slept with Mitchell?’
Hope nodded.
‘How did I not know this?’
Hope shrugged. She’d never told a soul.
‘Was it your first time?’
Hope nodded again and warmth spread through her veins along with the memories.
She’d always be grateful to Mitchell for what they’d shared that night. By demonstrating how wonderful lovemaking was with the right person, he’d given her a precious gift. He’d also set the bar very high. She’d never experienced that feeling of connectedness with any man since.
Mitchell had borrowed Lachie’s dad’s car and taken her to his favourite place, on the bluffs that looked back over Macarthur Point. In the sand dunes he’d lit a small fire and by the flickering light of the flames, they’d slowly removed each other’s clothes and timidly explored each other’s bodies. Every inch of skin, every muscle, every ligament and bone were still imprinted on Hope’s memory, even after all these years.
Afterwards, they’d wandered along the beach and discovered an old beach shack tucked away in the sand dunes. The door was unlocked, and Mitchell dragged a mattress out of the house onto the back porch. They’d made love again and fallen asleep side by side, fingers entwined, gazing up at the stars.
She remembered thinking at the time that she hadn’t “lost” her virginity that night at the beach house, but rather, she’d gained something special. Something that got her through long nights of chemotherapy after her surgery. She’d hesitated to call it love because she was so young, but if it wasn’t love, she didn’t know what else to name it.
They never spoke about what would happen next, but Hope had it all planned in her head. She’d go back to Kenya, finish her final year of schooling then return to Australia. And Mitchell.
Dizzy with the possibilities of a future with Mitch and poised on the brink of a bright new future, Hope had no clue that a few months later cancer would interfere with her plans.
They promised to stay in touch as much as possible, but it wasn’t easy because she didn’t have access to the internet in Africa.
When the sarcoma struck, she hadn’t known how to break the news to Mitchell, so she didn’t. After arriving back in Australia for treatment, she asked Courtney to let the others know what had happened but never asked what their reactions were to her news.
‘That year I was swept into a world of doctors and surgery and hospitals and pain and I lost myself in chemotherapy and rehabilitation.’ She’d also lost any desire to stay in contact with her friends, including Courtney.
‘Understandably.’
Eventually she’d learned how to stand, to walk and to do things for herself, honing her strength so she didn’t have to rely on others but by then she was so exhausted that the thought of getting in touch with her friends again was too overwhelming.
When the doctors deemed her ready, she returned to Africa with her parents, finished her schooling then enrolled in university back in Melbourne to study nursing. By then, as much as a part of her still loved Mitchell, there hadn’t seemed much point in getting in touch. Too much had happened since that night and she was a different person.
Initially, missing Mitchell was a raw ache that wouldn’t heal. As time marched on, the physical distance between them became an enormous gulf unable to be spanned and their bond, like a thick cord, gradually thinned each day until it finally snapped.
She figured out how to think about Mitchell and Macarthur Point without letting her eyes fill with tears. And finally, she figured out how to avoid thinking of him at all.
Feeding finished, Courtney leaned back on the couch and stretched her legs out in front of her. ‘What happened after that night?’ she asked.
‘I never heard from him.’
Courtney frowned. ‘What do you mean? He never called you?’
‘I left town the next day, then six months later I got sick. If he ever called, Mum and Dad never told me.’
‘Did you ever contact him?’
Hope shook her head. ‘I wanted to, lots of times, but I didn’t know what to say. Hey, Mitch, I’ve got cancer. Hey, Mitch, I’ve lost my hair. Hey, Mitch, I’ve survived cancer, but they chopped off my leg. Wanna catch up some time and hang out? Once I was out of rehab, I went overseas with my parents again, so it would have been impossible to have a relationship with him, even if I’d wanted one.’ She shrugged. ‘I guess we both moved on.’
‘But what about when you came back to Melbourne and started your degree? You could have looked him up then.’
She didn’t tell Courtney that she’d tried once and hadn’t found him on social media. ‘I could have, but I wanted to focus on my studies,’ she lied.
Courtney shook her head. ‘I still can’t believe he never called you.’
‘Don’t put the blame all on him. It takes two. I could have found him if I’d really wanted to.’
‘What are you going to do?’ Courtney asked.
‘Nothing. And don’t get your hopes up, Court. I can see those matchmaking cogs turning.’
‘But you’re going to be here for at least the next month. Why don’t you see if there’s still something there?’
‘He has a girlfriend.’
Courtney frowned. ‘Since when?’
Hope shrugged. ‘I didn’t ask.’ She’d bolted before giving him a chance to tell her about his love life.
‘Are you sure? Lachie hasn’t said anything. Then again, I’ve been rather preoccupied the last few months. Mitch could have jumped out of a plane and landed in our backyard dressed as Santa and I wouldn’t have noticed.’
Hope smiled.
‘Maybe it’s nothing serious,’ Courtney said.
‘Even if it’s not serious, I’m still getting over Brett. The last thing I need is to get involved with Mitchell.’ Hope ran her fingers through her hair and exhaled softly. ‘I don’t know, Court. The chemistry between us hasn’t diminished, that’s for sure, but even if he was still single, I don’t think I’m ready to dip my foot into the dating waters again. It wouldn’t be right, or fair.’
‘For you, or Mitch?’
Hope exhaled loudly. ‘For Mitch.’
‘Why not?’
Hope sighed. She was a nomad and Mitch a homebody. It was obvious the moment she pulled up at his place. Everywhere she looked, his small farm reminded her of how much effort he’d gone to in order to shape it into a home. Mitchell was no different from everyone else she knew. He seemed determined to put down roots, buy a house, get a mortgage and live in one place for the rest of his life. But she couldn’t do that. All she wanted was to keep moving, like her parents. Even if they were meant to be together, it couldn’t be here.
She’d been born in Australia but raised overseas and had spent her childhood and teenage years living in remote villages in various continents with her missionary parents. It had been a different upbringing. Wonderful at times, challenging at others. She’d been blessed with amazing opportunities to see the world and because of that, the idea of settling down felt like a noose. The thought of living longer than a year or so in one place made her feel claustrophobic.
The only time Hope and her parents had stayed put for longer than a year was when Hope was eighteen and they moved back from Africa to Melbourne for Hope’s treatment. It had nearly killed them. They hated living in suburbia and couldn’t wait to pack up and move overseas again.
Hope remembered the three long years they spent in Melbourne after her chemotherapy, radiation, surgery and rehab. Instead of the freedom and excitement of living in various countries in all different types of communities, they found themselves stuck in a cookie-cutter apartment in the centre of Melbourne so they could be close to the hospital for doctor’s appointments.
Instead of the fluidity of the life Hope had led up to that point, she found herself stuck in a rigid routine that she hated. With every passing week and every milestone, she achieved in her recovery, she found it harder to breathe and vowed she’d never stay too long in one place.
Hope poured herself another glass of water.
‘I get a sense there’s something you’re not telling me,’ Courtney said.
‘We kissed.’
Courtney’s mouth fell open. ‘You what? After he told you he had a girlfriend?’
Hope shook her head. ‘That’s why it was so awkward.’ Fresh hurt churned Hope’s gut and the prick of tears filled her eyes.
‘Do you think you still have feelings for him?’ Courtney asked.
Through tears, Hope nodded. What was the point in denying how she’d felt seeing Mitchell again? But equally, what was the point in caring about that?
‘It doesn’t matter how I feel. Even if Mitchell was single and I was still in love with him, it’s not worth pursuing something that’s not going to go anywhere.’
Courtney shook her head. ‘I disagree. It’s always worth pursuing something when you know it’s right.’
Hope sighed. ‘How do I know it’s right?’
‘You know.’