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On Saturday morning, two days after they’d settled Monika into the spare bedroom at Mitchell’s house, Hope and Mitch headed to the local showgrounds. Hope was buzzing. It felt so good to be home.
Home.
The word had been testing itself out on her ever since she got back to Macarthur Point. With each passing hour her life in Melbourne slipped further and further away and she’d woken that morning realising she hadn’t missed the city once.
She hadn’t told Mitchell yet, but Jordan had spoken with her about the idea of a pilot program—a satellite clinic run by RCH at the local hospital. It had sounded so appealing she’d contacted her boss immediately, and Sean promised to do some homework to see if it was feasible. But even if the job didn’t work out, she’d made her decision. She was staying.
A few times during the drive Hope glanced across at Mitchell and wondered whether he had read her mind. He’d worn a grin since she got back.
After finding a park, Mitchell took her hand and they walked up the street to the showgrounds. The air around them was thick with the smells of popcorn and wood fires and food, mixed with fresh cut grass and farm animals. Children dashed around, darting in and out of the legs of the adults, racing each other to the rides. A Ferris wheel rose above the sheds and two other rides spun people, trapped in tiny cages, in the air. Squeals and screams filled the air.
They weaved between groups of people and past lines of kids waiting for rides, walking past arts and crafts displays. All around them people were stuffing their faces with food. Hope’s head swivelled left to right faster than the open-mouthed clowns in the sideshow alley.
Mitchell laughed at her expression. ‘Is this your first show?’
She nodded. ‘I hadn’t expected it to be so busy.’
‘It’s one of the highlights of the country calendar.’
‘Where has everyone come from?’ Her eyes flicked across the showgrounds again. In the centre, a large fenced-in arena was surrounded by brightly coloured marquees and tin roofed sheds. There were people everywhere. Farmers, young and old, male and female, dressed alike in their uniform of RM Williams boots and Akubra hats alongside city folk—mums and dads and their kids, some of whom had probably never come this close to a farm animal in their life, or if they had, the only time they did was at the annual show.
‘Wouldn’t be surprised if everyone from Macarthur Point was here at some time during the day and people come from hours away.’
‘I wouldn’t have thought shows like this still existed. I remember Mum and Dad talking about going to the show every year and show bags and fireworks, but I thought they would have died out.’
‘No way. Shows bring communities together.’
‘I guess they’re a great way of educating us city folk,’ Hope said as they walked past a farmer demonstrating a brand-new piece of farm machinery and explaining to his captive audience how it saved him time and money.’
A clown with bright green curls walked past and honked a horn at Hope. She shuddered. ‘Does anyone actually like clowns? They creep me out.’
Mitchell laughed. ‘Coulrophobia.’
‘Huh?’
‘The persistent and irrational fear of clowns. It’s a legitimate condition.’
‘You’re pulling my leg.’
‘Google it.’
A tiny girl, she couldn’t have been much older than six, approached them, leading a huge brown horse with white socks and feet the size of dinner plates. The horse clomped passively behind the girl, head lowered, ears flicking back and forwards.
Mitchell gave the horse a pat on the rump as he passed. ‘That’s one of Clancy’s horses.’
‘Who’s the little girl?’
‘No idea.’
‘I’d be scared they’d trample me.’
‘Nah. Not Clydies. Gentle giants.’
‘Will Clancy be showing them today?’ Hope asked.
‘Yeah. He’ll probably be showing a few of his teams.’
‘I’d love to watch them.’
Mitchell checked his phone. ‘The program says they’ll be on around eleven. Why don’t we walk round a bit then find a seat to watch?’
‘Sounds like a plan.’
They wandered through the crowds, stopping occasionally to check out produce or when someone tried to sell them something. Her senses were filled with the sights and smells and sounds of farm life. Everything from horses, cattle, sheep, working dogs, chooks, alpacas and goats. She loved it. There was a stage set up and they stopped and munched their way through a bucket of hot chips while listening.
When the performer took a break, they wandered off. A woman on stilts passed them, waving a wand of bubbles. Kids ran behind her, laughing as they tried to burst the bubbles.
They headed through the sideshow alley again.
‘Are you sure you don’t want me to win you one of those?’ Mitchell asked with a laugh as he pointed to a bright purple stuffed animal which may have been an elephant but could have been a bear.
‘If you even dare, you’ll be walking home,’ Hope joked.
‘You have to at least let me buy you a show bag.’
‘Really? Why? They’re just bags of chocolate. I can probably buy the same thing half price at the supermarket.’
He nudged her with his elbow. ‘Spoilsport. You must have a show bag. It’s the rules.’
‘Next you’ll be telling me I have to eat fairy floss too,’ she said as they passed a woman whose entire face was hidden by the pink fluffy goodness.
Once they’d done a full circuit of the arena, they headed into the exhibits inside the sheds. They smiled at the various displays—everything from vegetables to cakes to cats and guinea pigs. Hope’s favourite shed was the one that housed the dogs. She could have taken home every puppy she saw.
‘I can’t imagine city kids baking cakes and entering them in the local show,’ Hope said as she gazed at the first place-getter. She pointed at the cake on the other side of the glass cabinet. ‘The boy who won is only ten.’
Mitchell chuckled. ‘Didn’t you ever watch MasterChef Kids?’
A voice came over the loudspeaker.
‘Did you hear what he said?’ Hope asked.
Mitchell shook his head. ‘No.’ He checked his phone. ‘But he was probably announcing the draft horse parade. It’s a highlight of the show. Either that or it’s the sheep dog trials. I didn’t catch what he said.’
They arrived at the arena as four teams of horses entered the ring. Each team was made up of six horses and they filled the space with sound and movement.
‘There’s Clancy,’ Mitchell said.
He had to raise his voice to be heard over the sound of hooves like thunder and the jingle and jangle of the bridles and bells attached to the horses. One of the horses whinnied and another replied. The four teams spread out around the arena and when a couple of men entered and gave them instructions, the drivers clicked their tongues and slapped the reins and the horses began to trot.
Hope and Mitchell stood together resting their arms on the railing and watching the horses as they circled the ring.
‘What are they judged on?’ Hope asked. ‘Looks? Or how they move?’
‘Both.’
‘Clancy’s team is clearly the best,’ Hope said, feeling a sense of pride.
The six black horses were immaculate from head to hoof. Their manes were threaded with red and purple ribbons which matched the ribbons threaded in their bunned tails.
‘See how they’re moving in sync?’ Mitchell asked. ‘That’s what they’ll be judged on. As well as presentation.’
The horses slowed to a walk and one of the judges beckoned for Clancy’s team. Clancy walked his team in a straight line before stopping them in front of the judge.
‘They have to stand still now, without fidgeting while the judge checks them over,’ Mitch explained.
The judges inspected the horse’s legs and hooves and other than the occasional nod of their heads, the horses stood tall and proud. The judge indicated they move off and Clancy steered the horses around the arena. As Clancy passed, he caught sight of them and tipped his hat in acknowledgment.
‘This is where the judge will make sure the horses don’t cut the corners. It looks easy but it’s hard. Clancy must control all the horses with three sets of reins. See how they go through the metal hames on top of the collars back to the driver?’
Hope nodded.
‘Each of those collars is worth up to ten grand.’
‘What? Ten thousand dollars per horse?’
Mitchell nodded. ‘And that doesn’t include all the rest of the gear. That’s just for the collar. Each horse has its own and it’s fit to it perfectly and moulds to the horses shape over time.’
‘Wow. What an expensive hobby.’
‘Which is why Clancy relies on tourists to take his horse-drawn carriage tours around town.’
‘I’m glad that animal right’s woman hasn’t shown her face around here again.’
Mitchell chuckled. ‘The way you spoke to her, she wouldn’t dare.’
The judge called for all the teams to trot and clouds of dust rose from the thundering hooves. The bells on the horse’s collars jangled, combining with the shouts from the drivers as they urged their teams to move up.
‘So much power,’ Hope said. ‘I can’t get over how fast they move for animals so big.’
The four teams continued around the arena for another two laps. Beside her, Mitchell tensed. She searched his face. Why was he frowning?
‘What’s wrong?’ she asked.
He pointed. ‘Can you see the horse in the middle on the inside of Clancy’s team?’
Hope nodded.
‘Watch him.’
Hope squinted into the sun. ‘It looks like the other horses are pulling him along. He’s not in time with them.’
‘Something’s not right,’ Mitchell agreed. His eyes never left the horses in the arena.
As they circled past Hope and Mitchell, Clancy’s face was grim. Seconds later, the horse they’d been watching stumbled. He quickly righted himself but two steps later he tripped again and fell, almost dragging the horse in front of him down too.
The crowd gasped. Hope turned to Mitchell, but he already had one leg over the fence. He bolted across the dusty arena towards Clancy and the horses.
A hush fell over the crowd as everyone held their breath.
It took all Clancy’s strength to pull the other horses up.
‘Someone needs to call a vet,’ a woman standing near Hope said.
‘My boyf...my friend is the vet,’ Hope said, pointing at Mitchell who was running his hands over the horse’s chest.
She was reminded of how he’d looked the day she’d first seen him again out at the farm birthing the calf. Totally in control, totally calm and totally in his element. In that moment she couldn’t imagine him spending the rest of his life working as a vet in the city. He needed to be here with the big animals that he loved. It was as clear as anything.
After a few minutes, Mitchell stood, walked over to Clancy and said something. Clancy removed his hat and his shoulders slumped. He nodded before beckoning for someone to take his place. He passed him the reins then jumped down, following Mitchell to where his horse lay on its side, legs extended.
The crowd remained silent, holding their breath as one.
Mitchell put a hand on Clancy’s shoulder and left it there. Slowly, Clancy knelt beside his horse and cradled its head in his lap, rubbing its ears and running his hands down the horse’s white blaze.
Even the rides seemed to have gone silent as everyone’s hearts broke for a man who was clearly about to lose one of his best friends.
Mitchell looked up and searched the crowd until he found her. She offered him a tiny smile and a little wave. He waved in return before going to Clancy and putting his arm around him. Clancy fell into Mitchell’s arms and both men sobbed.
*
Later that afternoon, as dusk settled over Macarthur Point, Hope sat on Mitchell’s back deck while Mitchell was inside taking a much needed long, hot, shower and watched the sun drop. For a few minutes the sky bloomed like it was on fire before the vivid colours faded to pastel before giving way to bluish-grey then indigo skies. Finally, a coat of darkness settled over the paddocks.
They’d driven home from the show in near silence. Hope in shock at what she’d witnessed, and Mitchell still clearly distressed by what he’d had to do. She couldn’t begin to imagine how Clancy must be feeling.
She leaned back in the chair and pulled a blanket over her shoulders to protect herself from the cooling sea breeze. The day had been humid, so she wasn’t surprised to see lightning flashing and flickering far out to sea.
Somewhere in the distance she heard Mitchell’s animals moving around in their paddocks but other than that, there was silence.
She felt a drop of rain against her cheek, followed by several others but didn’t have the heart to go back inside yet. Instead she got out of the chair and moved over to sit on the edge of the deck, letting her legs dangle over the side. Leaning back on her palms she stared up into the night sky. Stars hung above her as if strung in the air on invisible strings. The moon was full and when a streak of light flashed across the sky, for a moment she wasn’t sure whether it was another flash of lightning or a shooting star.
Another streak followed and she gasped. Definitely a shooting star.
She heard movement behind her and turned to see Mitchell standing in the doorframe, illuminated by the light coming from inside the house.
‘I just saw a shooting star,’ she said.
‘Did you make a wish?’ he asked.
She nodded. ‘But they say dreams only come true by wishing on a star if you’re the first person to see it.’
‘Do you think you were the first?’
‘I hope so.’
‘What did you wish for?’
Hope stared up at the sky again. Another drop of rain landed on her forehead.
‘I wished I could stay here forever with you,’ she murmured.
Silence filled the space for a long moment.
‘That’s what I wish for every single night,’ Mitchell replied softly.
He came and sat behind her, wrapped his legs around hers and rested his chin on her shoulder. She felt the comforting warmth of his breath against her neck and leaned back into him, feeling his heartbeat through the cotton of his shirt. He folded his arms around her chest. Even though he’d showered, he still smelled faintly of horses, but she didn’t care. She loved the way he smelled—and had grown to love the earthiness of it.
That’s when it hit her. She was like a shooting star. She had to fall to make Mitchell’s wish come true.
Silent tears formed and she tried to blink them away, but she couldn’t so she let them mingle with the intermittent drops of rain falling from the sky. They weren’t tears of sadness. They were tears of joy. Of hope. Of love. And it felt good to cry. As if her tears were washing away all her fears.
As she rested in Mitchell’s embrace, under the protection of countless stars above them, Hope let the floodgates open, knowing everything would work out the way they’d both wished.
‘We should go inside,’ Mitchell said when the rain started getting heavier.
‘I don’t want to, but we’re going to get soaked if we stay out here much longer.’
He stood and helped her to her feet. When she faced him and he saw her wet cheeks, he frowned.
‘It’s okay,’ she reassured him as she dabbed at her eyes. ‘They were happy tears.’ She stood on tiptoes and kissed his cheek. ‘Honestly.’
He looked unconvinced.
She took his hand and led him inside. Once she told him her news, she knew he’d understand her tears. ‘You hungry? I can make us something to eat.’
‘Beth dropped off some pumpkin soup earlier when she came to pick up Monika. I can heat it up for us if you’d like.’
‘While you do that, I’ll light the fire.’ She knelt and began scrunching up newspaper while Mitchell went into the kitchen. She heard the microwave ping and heard the clatter of cutlery then wine glugging into glasses.
Half an hour later, the fire was roaring, and their stomachs were full.
He got up and threw another log on the fire. ‘While I’m up, do you want a cup of tea?’
‘That’d be nice, thanks.’
When he returned, he passed her drink to her, then sat, pulling her legs up so they rested on his thighs.
‘Will Clancy be alright?’ she asked.
‘I’ll check on him tomorrow.
Hope cupped the mug with both hands and inhaled the scent of the tea.
Mitchell stared unseeing out the window. Sheet lightning continued to illuminate the night sky.
‘You were amazing today.’
Mitch ran his hands through his hair. ‘Doesn’t feel like it.’
‘You did what you had to do with amazing compassion. It’s obvious how much you cared for those horses.’
‘There was nothing I could do. I couldn’t save it.’ He sighed heavily. ‘Do you know what that feels like?’
She nodded. ‘I know exactly what that feels like.’
He sighed again. ‘Yeah, I guess you do.’
She touched his arm. ‘You kept it comfortable and you were calm and that’s what everyone noticed. You’re a good vet and a good man Mitchell Davis.’
‘Right now, it doesn’t feel like that.’
She hated that he felt so worthless, but she knew exactly how he felt. Whenever they lost a child to cancer, another piece of her heart shattered. It was devastating feeling so powerless, but her boss always reminded her to look for the good news stories and remember those. Right now, she needed Mitchell to hear how amazing he was.
‘Do you remember little Zoe?’ she asked.
He looked at her. ‘I heard she passed away,’ he said softly.
Hope nodded. ‘She did, but thanks to you, not before she got to SeaWorld to swim with the dolphins.’ She reached over and picked up her phone off the coffee table. ‘Michelle sent me photos.’
She handed her phone to him and he scrolled through, smiling at the images of Zoe in the water swimming with the dolphins.
‘Michelle said something which stuck with me.’
He looked up. ‘What’s that?’
‘She said they wished they’d had options for treatment or palliative care closer to home. They had to spend all their time in Melbourne, and it was hard on them financially.’
‘Did Michelle want Zoe to die at home?’
Hope nodded. ‘That would have been the best option for everyone. Especially Zoe.’
‘But there’s a community palliative care team here. They come every day for Monika.’
She nodded. ‘It’s a great team, but they’re not necessarily experienced in caring for children. Especially children with cancer.’
He stared at her. ‘What are you thinking?’
She inhaled and let her breath out in a rush. She had a sudden case of dry mouth. It was now or never.
‘RCH are expanding the satellite clinics they run out of Melbourne. I spoke to my boss about it and there’s a strong chance I can be involved down here working as a nurse in their hospital in the home program for sick kids. It’s early days, but it’s a definite possibility.’
‘What would that mean for you?’ he asked carefully.
She looked at him. ‘It would mean my job no longer has to be based in Melbourne.’
‘Oh.’ A slow smile spread across Mitchell’s face.
She took his hand, took a breath and tried to find the words. Even though she’d rehearsed them a thousand times in a thousand different ways in her head, now that she was sitting next to him, her mind was blank.
‘I don’t want look back on my life with regret.’ She felt the prick of hot tears again and hastily blinked them away. ‘If it’s not too late, and if you meant what you said about wishing we could be together forever, I want to give us another chance.’
He brushed a stray tear from her cheek with his thumb.
‘I was such an idiot, Mitch. I nearly let you go.’
His brows knitted together. Lifting her legs off his, he took her mug out of her hands and put it on the coffee table. Then he pulled her close, so they were side by side. He slipped an arm around her shoulders and squeezed gently.
‘You weren’t an idiot. You were just scared.’
He smoothed her hair with his hand.
‘So, it’s not too late to try again?’
He smiled. ‘It’s never too late.’
*
Hope woke the next morning to the sound of steady rain drumming on the roof and in the distance, the comforting noise of the ocean pounding against the rocks. Her back was pressed to Mitchell’s chest, their legs tangled together, and his bare arm was wrapped around her waist.
They’d talked for hours, long after the fire died to nothing but orange coals. When they got cold, instead of stoking the fire, they climbed under the covers of his bed and talked some more. In the dark, quiet of the small hours of the morning she and Mitchell talked about their dreams and came up with a plan for their future.
When she’d finally fallen asleep in his arms, she’d done so with a light heart and a smile on her lips for the first time she could remember in a long time.
Moving carefully so she didn’t disturb him, she eased her shoulders off the bed, so she could check the time.
‘Hey.’ His voice was sleep-roughened and sexy.
‘Sorry. Did I wake you?’ She squinted at the clock on Mitchell’s side of the bed. Just after nine. They’d both needed the sleep in.
‘Nope, I’m awake. I was lying here enjoying the view.’
She giggled. ‘It’s pouring rain and from this angle you can’t even see the beach.’
He turned her, so they lay front to front, her head nestled on his chest, and let out a satisfied sigh. ‘This is the only view I’m interested in.’
Outside the wind picked up and twigs and small branches clattered on the tin roof. The air had cooled in the wake of the storm the night before. She snuggled closer. ‘I could stay here all day.’
‘Sounds good to me.’
‘But I need to go to the bathroom.’ She slid out from under the covers.
‘Do you need any help?’ he asked as she hopped to the ensuite.
At the door she stopped and turned, flashing him a warning look. One of the things she’d told him last night was that under no circumstances was he to offer to help. If she needed it, she’d ask.
He held up his hands in the surrender position.
‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to snap at you,’ she said when she climbed back into bed and wrapped her cold toes against his.
He smoothed her hair behind her ears. ‘Sweetheart, I’m not offering to help because I don’t think you can do it on your own or because I think you need my help. I’m offering because I’m trying to be a gentleman. Beth would skin me alive if I didn’t look after you.’
‘Beth would probably skin you alive if she knew we were sleeping together.’
He chuckled. ‘I can assure you Beth will be the first one cheering us on.’
‘No. I think that might be Courtney.’
‘True.’
‘What do you have planned today?’ she asked.
‘Hmmm. Maybe making love to you again.’
She playfully punched his arm. ‘We can’t do that all day.’
‘I’m happy to prove you wrong.’
‘Seriously. What are we doing today?’
‘I’m going to lie here and stare at you until I know the placement of every freckle on your face.’
‘That will get boring.’
‘Never.’
He stared at her for so long her face felt like it was on fire.
‘What are you looking at?’
‘I told you, I’m staring at you.’
‘Why?’
‘Because you are so beautiful, every part of you, and I can’t believe my luck.’
She exhaled, low and slow.
‘Come here,’ he whispered.
She let him pull her close and allowed him to wrap his legs around hers. She put her arms behind his neck, rested her face against his chest and listened to the steady beating of his heart. She could stay here forever.
‘Do you know what I used to fear the most?’ he asked.
She shook her head.
‘That I would never find a place to belong or a place to call home. And that I was unworthy of being loved. I was hurting and broken, defective. If it wasn’t for the Simpsons, I have no doubt I would have ended up in the same place Monika did.’
Hope stayed quiet.
‘You’re going to have to give me a lot of grace if this is going to work. I’ve spent my life avoiding emotional intimacy, and my coping mechanism is to push the people closest to me away. There will be times I’ll wake up and wrongly presume you’re going to leave just because we’ve had an argument or a disagreement over something small. Promise me if you think I’m becoming emotionally distant or detached, know that it’s my self-protection mechanism and what I really need from you is your love and support to get me through it.’
‘I can do that. As long as you promise to love me when I feel like I need some space.’
He smiled. ‘Of course, I can do that. I promise you, Hope, I don’t want to control you or smother you.
‘Thank you.
He kissed her gently. ‘I love you, Hope, and there is no doubt in my mind we’re meant to be together forever.’
‘I love you too.’ The words slipped out with a smile before she knew what she’d said, and for the first time in forever, everything felt right in her world.
Mitchell’s smile widened. ‘I guess that means I should make it official.’
She frowned. ‘Make what official?’
He grinned. ‘My love for you.’
When he slipped out from under the covers and dropped to his knees on the floor beside her, Hope’s heart started pounding. She searched his face and watched a tiny pulse beat in his throat.
He opened the drawer of the bedside table and pulled out a small box and handed it to her. ‘I want you to stay with me forever, Hope, but only if you’ll agree to marry me.’
Even though that was the last thing she was expecting, she didn’t hesitate.
‘Yes,’ she exclaimed as she threw her arms around his neck. ‘Yes, yes and yes.’
He took the box back and opened it, revealing a stunning diamond ring. Removing it from the box, he slipped it on her finger. It was a perfect fit.
Their eyes locked and she felt goose bumps up and down her arms as her heart raced.
He gently cupped her face in his hands. ‘Have I told you how perfect you are?’ His lips gently brushed hers.
‘I’m far from perfect.’
He leaned in and rested his forehead against hers. ‘Perfect for me.’
‘Thank you, Mitch,’ she said, in a barely more than a whisper.
‘For what?’ he replied, his voice low and husky.
‘For being you and for loving me.’ She moved her head and kissed his lips.
‘I’ll never stop loving you.’
As he kissed her again, Hope’s world fell away. His kisses were slow and soft, comforting her and loving her in ways that no words could. His hand rested below her ear and his thumb caressed her cheek as their breaths mingled. She ran her hands down his back and pulled him closer until there was no space left between them and all she could feel was the beating of his heart.
His kisses obliterated every fear of the future that kept trying to push its way into her head and for the first time, Hope found her mind locked on nothing but the present. The worries about the past and about the future evaporated. Everything about the way he was kissing her spoke of new beginnings and of the promise of much more to come.
She finally pulled back and put her hand on his chest, splaying her fingers and staring at the stunning rock on her finger.
‘Just one thing,’ she said.
‘Yeah?’
‘Are you in a hurry to start a family?’
He hesitated, searching her eyes. ‘I guess there’s no rush.’
‘It’s not that I don’t want children, but I want to be a little selfish and enjoy some time with you first before we start a family. It’s taken us so long to get together that I want to spend time with you before we have to share each other with someone else. Does that make sense?’
She saw his shoulders relax. ‘Perfect sense. You don’t mind sharing me with my animals though?’
She laughed. ‘Not at all. I was actually thinking we should get a puppy.’
He rolled his eyes. ‘Four dogs aren’t enough?’
She pouted. ‘But those Border Collie puppies we saw at the show were very cute.’
He shook his head. ‘Let’s see how you go when you’ve lived with my dogs first.’ He planted another soft kiss on her lips. ‘I have one thing to ask you too.’
She waited.
‘Is it okay if we practise making babies, just so we know what we’re doing when the time is right?’
She laughed. ‘That’s probably a great idea.’
‘Are you happy to start now?’
‘I can’t think of a better time.’