My sister lost her leg to cancer at the age of seven. At the time, I was five. I thought her leg would grow back, but it never did. I also thought that my family would go back to the way it was before, but that never happened either. Instead, my family embarked on a journey of living a life quite different than those of my friends. It’s a life in which stress occupies much of our time, but also a life in which every day is lived to its fullest. Cancer has certainly changed my family’s life. Our family has grown closer, but cancer has also isolated us from other people who do not know what we go through. I can’t imagine what my sister felt as she went through her cancer battle, but I do know how this experience has affected me.
When people hear stories of children with cancer, they obviously think of what the child went through, and usually sympathize with the parents, but they rarely take into consideration the effect it had on that child’s siblings. Having a sister with cancer is not easy. Especially when you are five years old. It is hard to suddenly lose all the attention from your family in a matter of days. You’re confused and angry and jealous. You feel ignored and constantly think to yourself, what did I do wrong? Why are they ignoring me? You then see your sister on a hospital bed, too weak to move, and slowly going bald, and you hate yourself for even considering getting mad at her. Then your family gets angry at you for demanding attention, and the vicious emotional cycle continues. It’s hard to be forced to grow up and be on your own at such a young age, but under the circumstances, you really don’t have a choice. When my sister got sick, my mother quit her job so that she could spend every day with her. My dad worked all the time, and when his shifts ended, he usually spent the rest of the day in my sister’s hospital room. I spend most of my days at my grandparents’ house. I slept there for many nights and sometimes went days without seeing my mom. I was upset and wished that she could spend more time with me.
My weekends were usually spent at Memorial Sloan Kettering, talking to my sister, and meeting some of the friends she made in the hospital. They were all nice, beautiful and outgoing kids. It seemed like God had picked the best children in the world, and then cursed them with a deadly disease. Some of them were sicker than others. You could tell when you looked at them that they were too weak to walk without a walker, and didn’t have the stomach to eat anything besides applesauce. Yet they all had smiles on their faces. They had hope that they were going to turn out fine; in fact, they were sure of it. Most of the time, it seemed like they were being strong for their parents, and instead of taking care of themselves, they were comforting their moms and dads. These children would have grown up to be great leaders and friends, but sadly, most of them were not as lucky as my sister. Relapse after relapse, they practically all passed away. It’s incredible to even think that now, at seventeen years old, my sister has been to more wakes and funerals than most adults. The children that she had grown so close to, and that understood her better than anybody, had all been taken away from her by cancer.
Due to my sister’s cancer, I’ve met some of the nicest, selfless and positive people in the world. Happiness Is Camping is a summer sleep away camp in New Jersey. It is for kids with cancer and their siblings. When I was six and my sister was seven, we attended this camp, and I know now that it was probably one of the best decisions my family has ever made. While my sister met other kids who went through the same struggles she did, I met siblings who shared my feelings as well. At this camp we bonded with each other. We talked about our experiences and knew that we weren’t being judged. I met counselors from around the world who planned on dedicating their lives to helping children with cancer. It was nice to be in a place where people didn’t constantly point and stare at my sister’s leg. They accepted her and they accepted me. Being at a sleep-away camp also made my own bond with my sister grow stronger. Without my parents around, she relied on me to help her with anything she needed. From holding her bags as we walked around the campus, to getting her food during meal times, and to even helping her hop into the shower at night. I was able to better understand what exactly she went through on a day-to-day basis. This, I know, has helped me become a better and more supportive sister.
Cancer has taught my family valuable lessons. We’ve learned not to take anything for granted and to live everyday like it is our last. Because, for some people, it is. My mother constantly tells my sister and me to do everything we can and never pass up an opportunity. Now that I look back on it, I don’t really remember a life before my sister got cancer. I’ve grown used to a life of using handicapped passes, making frequent visits to the hospital, and even having birthday parties for my sister’s “little leg.” When I look at my sister, I don’t think about her missing leg. In fact, sometimes I even forget about it. Even though I see her as a regular person, a lot of people don’t. Many people look at my sister and don’t know what to say or how to act around her. They think they might offend her somehow and think that because she has one leg, she has different feelings and personalities than they do. I hope that people will realize that even though she is physically different, she is still like any other girl. She talks, and laughs, and jokes like we all do. She stresses over what clothes to wear, worries about school, and watches Law & Order: SVU reruns just like the rest of us do. However, having cancer has made my sister braver, stronger, and more courageous than anyone I know.
Even though cancer has made my family’s life hard, it has inspired us to start living our dreams today. We’ve seen, firsthand, how precious life is and how quickly it can be taken away from you. Today, my sister doesn’t give up on anything. She spends her winters skiing with other amputees and spends her summers rock-climbing. She recently went on a service trip with her school to Cambodia and enjoyed every minute of it because she was helping others. This fall she will be attending Johns Hopkins, where she will be going pre-med. Her dream is to become a pediatric oncologist and help other children with cancer. Because of my sister, I’ve learned strength, perseverance and most of all, love. I’ve learned to love myself and love others, because everybody’s life is valuable and worth living. Sadly, the physical effects of my sister’s cancer will be with her for the rest of her life. However, the valuable lessons my family has learned from this experience will also stay with us and help us all become strong, daring, and fearless.