9

Saffron looked up from the remains of her hamburger and french fries. She’d needed a mound of carbohydrates to find the courage to face her mother. A walk on the beach in Oceanside that morning had also helped clear her head and prepare herself.

“Aren’t we cutting it short to get to your mom’s?” Halla asked as they walked out to the car.

They’d stopped at a burger joint on their way out of Oceanside and it was still almost forty minutes to Saffron’s old house. If they hurried, they might make their two o’clock meeting time.

“The shorter, the better,” Saffron said. “So I don’t change my mind.”

“Right.” Halla snapped her finger and pointed at her. “I forgot you’re still in denial.”

“And I intend to stay that way.” Saffron clicked the key fob to unlock the car doors and then tossed the key to Halla. “You drive. I’m going to make a list of things I intend to say to her.”

Halla’s eyes brightened. “Ooh, you mean like ‘why are you such an evil witch’ and ‘you ruined my life’ sort of stuff?”

“Exactly.” Saffron waited until they were in the car before adding quietly, “She did ruin my life.”

Halla didn’t start the car but reached for her hand. “No, because your life is not ruined. You’ve made the best of a terrible situation. Yes, you made a mistake, but hers was so huge that she lost her daughter. No matter what kind of a woman she is, remember that. She has to care about you on some level. Or did at one time.”

“Maybe,” was all the leeway Saffron would allow. “But when I saw Tyson, I wanted to throw myself at him. You know? Like old times. I felt the same kind of connection to him. That special little thing inside that said he was mine. I’ve never had that with any other guy.”

“Only because you didn’t let yourself.” Halla squeezed her hand. “It’s going to be okay. I promise.”

“Well, you may have to keep telling me that because I’m wondering now what might have happened if I’d done something differently back then. Why didn’t I confide to a friend or teacher? My mother couldn’t have made me get rid of the baby. Why didn’t I go to Tyson’s and sit outside his door until he came home?” Now that she was older, a myriad of alternatives seemed at hand, but eight and a half years ago, none of them had occurred to her.

“Because you were sixteen, and you didn’t know everything you know now. You made the best decision you knew how.”

“What I needed was Lily.”

Halla laughed. “We all needed Lily. In a way, we’re the lucky ones. At least we found her.”

She was right. Despite everything bad Saffron had endured, finding Lily and the girls had saved her.

“But he said I was the one who left. And maybe he’s right. In a way I did abandon him. And what if he was not only The One but The One and Only?”

“That’s what you’re here to find out, and if you’re meant to be, that spark will still be there.” Halla withdrew her hand and put the key into the ignition. “But I’m finding it hard to believe you felt any connection while you were yelling at him.”

Saffron grimaced. “Yelling?”

“Yes.”

“Well, let’s just say I’m talented at complicating things. And whatever it was, it felt good.”

“For what it’s worth, I think you do need to sit down and chat with him. And sooner rather than later.”

“I know.” Saffron pulled up her note app and started typing. “Okay, subjects I’m going to talk to her about. How did that first thing you said go? ‘Why are you such an evil witch,’ I think it was.”

“Oh, I can come up with more colorful adjectives, if you want. How about an immoral, cruel, nasty, revolting, horrid, sickening, wicked witch? I especially like the ‘wicked’ because it seems to fit so well.”

Saffron laughed. “Thanks for making me feel better. I’ll write down all of those. It’s only the beginning.”

But as Halla drove, humming along with the radio, Saffron came up with only a few more things: Why didn’t you look for me? Why couldn’t you accept Tyson? How could you turn your back on your daughter?

And the biggest of all: Why did you let your grandson die?

The list was small and woefully inadequate. There was more she wanted to say—like why her mother would rather have her sneaking around with Tyson than welcoming him into their home where they could be loved and taught and guided. But she could barely put that together in thoughts, much less into words.

She was relieved to receive a text from Vaughn: Hey, what are you up to?

Grimacing, she responded, Going to see the evil witch.

Do you need a bucket of water . . . or a sword?

Maybe both.

A pause, and then he wrote, I assume the witch is your mother?

Yes.

I’m sorry.

Thanks. Saffron hoped he’d leave it at that.

Instead, she saw the words: I’ve always wanted to slay an evil witch. I think it would be something I’m good at.

She couldn’t help her smile. Probably. You’re good at everything.

I’ll never know unless I try. Do you want me to come with you? I can borrow a car and be there in a few hours.

Surprise flooded her at his willingness to drop everything when they were no longer a couple.

Well? he said when she didn’t respond.

Thanks, but this is something I have to do alone. Well, Halla is with me.

Good about Halla. That makes me feel better. Call me if you need to talk. I’ll keep the phone handy.

Okay.

There was nothing more, and Saffron had to stifle the urge to continue the conversation. She needed to focus on what she’d say to her mother.

Still, she wished Vaughn could come slay her dragons. Her mother would be charmed in an instant. He had a way of talking to strangers that made him seem like a friend. It was why he was such a good teacher, even if it wasn’t his life’s calling. Or if her mother wasn’t charmed, it wouldn’t matter because Vaughn would put his arm around Saffron and she’d feel like a million bucks, even if the image of herself she saw in her mother’s eyes was trash.

No, I have to stand up for myself, she thought. For so many years Lily had been her champion, followed by her long line of boyfriends. This confrontation was something Saffron needed to do on her own.

Well, not entirely alone. She had the tiny dynamo of a crutch called Halla. But Halla’s strength was in such a small package that her mother didn’t ever have to know how much help Halla offered.

The tires swallowed the miles to Temecula, and when the GPS directed them to turn down her mother’s street, Saffron’s heart started jumping around in her chest. She still hadn’t added anything more to her list.

“Already?” she muttered.

“We’re ten minutes late,” Halla countered. “Text your sister, would you?”

“Just did.”

Saffron’s stomach started to ache as she waited for Kendall to emerge from the house, making the large lunch seem like a bad idea now. Kendall was probably sneaking out the back and going around, so as not to pass by her mother in the living room. Kendall wouldn’t be using the garage door, either, because that would alert their mother for sure and evoke a million questions.

“I don’t know if I can do this,” Saffron whispered, her mouth and throat hurting with dryness.

“So let’s kidnap Kendall and drive away,” Halla said. “Kendall’s eighteen so it’s not like your mother can send the cops after us. Should I keep the engine ready?” Her voice was gently mocking.

“Okay, turn off the engine.”

Halla obeyed. “Think of it this way. You’ve had two days to adjust to the idea of confronting her and a lifetime of thinking about what you’re going to say. She, on the other hand, has no idea you’re coming. That’s a huge advantage right there. You have the upper hand.” She glanced toward the house. “Besides, you’ve got someone else to protect, remember?”

Kendall was coming from around the side of the house as Saffron had predicted, moving slowly and glancing at the house every so often. It could have been Saffron sneaking out to meet Tyson nine years ago, and it tore her heart a little to see that nothing had changed.

She climbed from the car, wishing her stomach would settle, but when Kendall reached her, she was so pale that Saffron made her sit in the passenger seat. “What’s wrong?”

“I just don’t think I can do this.”

Saffron noted that Kendall’s words closely mirrored her own only a few minutes earlier, and her resolve strengthened. “Yes, you can. But when was the last time you ate?”

“This morning.”

“Then you need more food. You have to eat protein more often or you’ll feel sicker. And it’s good for the baby.” Saffron climbed back in the car and said to Halla, “Let’s get her some food.”

Soon they were at a fast food drive up, ordering a grilled chicken sandwich and more fries. Afterward, Halla pulled over to the curb so Kendall could eat.

“You don’t have to do this at all if you don’t want to,” Saffron said, watching Kendall gulp down her sandwich. “You could pack up and come home to Phoenix with me.”

“But my life is here,” Kendall said through a mouthful of food. “I just want to get married and be happy. I know I was stupid. We should have gotten married first and waited a few years to have a kid, but I love Joel, and we can do this. I want Mom to be excited about the baby.”

Hadn’t Saffron said the exact same words to her mother? “Well, you’re eighteen and can move out and stay in town. She won’t have any say in that.”

“But Joel . . . He doesn’t have a place yet. If mom would let us live with her for a year, it would really help.”

Did Kendall think their mother would support them until they finished growing up and could take on the role of adults? Next, she’d be asking if Joel could come live with Saffron. An uneasiness fluttered through her mind.

“Well, what’ll it be?” asked Halla. “We can pack Kendall up and head to Phoenix.”

“No,” Saffron and Kendall said together.

“I have to see my mother eventually,” Saffron said. “But I can see her alone.”

Kendall grimaced. “I’m starting to show. She’s gonna find out if I don’t tell her, so I’d better do it now. I want you with me—and Halla too. She won’t get so mad with you two around.”

“What about Joel?” Halla asked. “Shouldn’t he be here to tell her with you?”

The corners of Kendall’s mouth turned slightly downward. “I did ask Joel, but Mom’s been really rude to him, and it’d be a huge fight, so it’s probably better that he’s helping his cousin move today.”

“We could wait another day,” Saffron said.

Kendall shook her head and didn’t quite meet her eyes. Was she even telling the truth? Saffron had told lies herself as a teen—mostly about where she’d been after school. In the end, those lies had cost her Tyson and their son. Sudden grief threatened to choke her. Saffron stared out the window, struggling against the emotion, glad she was in the back so the others wouldn’t notice.

Kendall ate the rest of her food as they waited. Saffron silently willed her to hurry and also to never finish. Maybe she was going crazy.

The vibrating of her phone signaled another message. It was from Vaughn. Hey, are you still alive? Did you forget the bucket of water? And did you make sure your sword was made of pure silver in case she’s really a vampire? Or is that for werewolves? I get them mixed up.

The grief subsided. She was okay. She could do this.

“What?” Halla asked her. “You’re smiling.”

“Just a message from Vaughn. He thinks I should bring a silver sword in case my mother’s really a vampire.”

Halla grinned. “That’s funny.”

“Who’s Vaughn?” Kendall asked, dipping another fry in too much sauce. “And isn’t it werewolves who are hurt by silver bullets? Maybe we need a gun.”

“It was vampires first,” Halla said. “Werewolves were only hurt by silver beginning in the early nineteenth century.”

“And you know that why?” Saffron held up her hand. “Never mind. Not sure I want to know.”

“Just research for a guest blog I did,” Halla told her anyway.

Kendall finished her last fry and balled up the sack. “So is anyone going to tell me about this Vaughn?”

“He’s a friend,” Saffron said.

“A gorgeous, sexy friend, who Saffron was kissing all over the place for three months,” Halla corrected. “But he broke up with her last Friday.”

“He was a good kisser,” Saffron admitted, warmth flushing her. “But it was just kissing.”

“So why’d he break up with you?” Kendall half turned in her seat, looking at Saffron behind her.

“Because—” Saffron began.

“To prevent her from crushing his heart,” Halla interrupted.

Saffron rolled her eyes. “We’d only been dating for three months.”

“I fell in love with Joel after only one,” Kendall said.

With Tyson it might have been less than a week, so maybe Kendall was right that time didn’t matter. “Look, are you finished? Are we going to do this?”

Kendall turned around and gave a big sigh. “Okay, I’m ready. Or as ready as I’ll ever be.”

Halla glanced at Saffron. “You want to drive?”

“Not really.”

“Good. Because Vaughn’s car is sweet.” Halla started the engine.

“This is Vaughn’s car?” Kendall asked. “That doesn’t sound like a man who thinks he’s broken up.”

“That’s what I think,” Halla said.

Ignoring them, Saffron went back to the list on her phone and began making brief notes under each of the subjects she wanted to discuss with her mother. Seconds later, she abandoned that to read another text from Vaughn.

When you get a chance, just let me know that you’re okay.

Vaughn checked his phone for what must be the millionth time in the past hour, but there were no new messages. Did that mean Saffron was still with her mother? And what had happened with her family to make her end up at Lily’s House? He sensed that he was on the edge of understanding more than he ever had about Saffron, but he had to stifle the frustration of not seeing the whole picture.

Of course, he had broken up with her, and none of it was his business anymore. Too bad he didn’t feel broken up. He guessed what he’d really done was given her an ultimatum, and he hated it when his friends told him about their girlfriends giving them ultimatums. Ultimatums were a fast track to breaking up, in his opinion, even when the relationship was going well. Except, he’d already felt Saffron moving away from him. If leaving him was what made her happy, that was something he could endure, but she wasn’t happy, not deep down, and that ate at him.

Because he loved her.

Loved her. There it was. The truth. When he held her in his arms, there was nothing better. Being with her made him happy, and she seemed happy too. It was only when the future came up, or talk of family, that she withdrew.

Maybe confronting her mother was what she needed to move on. Or maybe he’d read everything between them wrong. That was the worst—thinking that maybe he wasn’t right for her and that she just needed the right man before she’d want to commit. A man who wasn’t him. This other love, the man she’d loved since kindergarten. Maybe he could make her happy.

He took a breath, fighting the hurt threatening his heart. No, it wasn’t over until it was over. He’d be there for her and let their relationship follow naturally. He wouldn’t become another part of her life that she regretted.