13

Saffron felt a little dazed as Tyson walked her to her door, kissing her again. More chastely than he had on the beach, but it set her quivering all the same. What was she doing? Kissing him and falling for him all over again?

Then again, why shouldn’t she kiss him? She’d missed him so much, and now everything between them was falling into place, as if the horrible days after she’d left had never happened. As if their son had never died.

At that thought, a painful lump grew in her throat. She swallowed, trying to get rid of it, but it wouldn’t leave.

She smiled and dug into her bag for the key card, her fingers skimming the jewelry box inside. Her heart gave a painful little beat. It’s okay, she told herself. Everything’s okay now. The anger and betrayal she’d felt toward Tyson was gone, and it left her feeling lighter. “I’m glad we talked.”

He chuckled. “We did a lot more than talk.”

“We kissed. That’s all.” Did he feel how right it was?

“Saffron, look, there’s something I need to tell you.” Tyson cleared his throat, his dark eyes grave. “I’ve been dating this woman, Jana Reynolds. She’s an anesthesiologist where I work, and I probably should have said something before but . . . when I’m with you, it feels like before, and it’s hard to think about my life right now.”

Coldness entered Saffron’s heart. From his expression, she could tell he cared for this woman—maybe even loved her. Had this day only been a casual trip down memory lane for him? Would he now return to his life and his new girlfriend?

Just as quickly, she pushed the thoughts aside. If there was one thing she understood about Tyson it was that he wouldn’t play with her feelings. Or anyone’s feelings. Not if he could help it. He’d be upfront with his intentions, whether or not it hurt. In that she trusted him. But she wasn’t giving up without a fight. Not this time.

“I told her about you earlier today,” he continued. “Even though you were mad at me, and I had no idea we’d still have this connection. She believes my feelings for you—or what happened between us—is why I’ve been hesitant to commit to her. She might be right.” He took her hand. “All I do know is that I’m not letting you go. Not until we figure this out.”

Saffron stepped closer, wrapped her arms around him, and kissed him thoroughly. “I’m all for getting to know each other again.”

When they separated, he was smiling. “Tomorrow I have to work, but I’ll be back after to finish some construction stuff at my parents’ house. Can I see you before I start?”

She nodded. “Are you staying with your parents?”

“Usually, but after talking to my mom last night, I checked in here.” He frowned. “I was probably too hard on her.”

Saffron didn’t pity Mrs. Dekker, who had been cold and unwelcoming to her as a teen. In fact, as she thought about it, she grew angry thinking about the woman’s part in their son’s death. Not a good sign.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” she said, not responding to his comment. “Text me to let me know when you’re on your way here.”

“Okay. It’ll be about five.” He kissed her once more, lingeringly, making Saffron forget her anger at his mother.

“Goodnight.” She stepped inside the room a bit dreamily, stopping to return the wave he gave her as he started down the hallway.

Halla lay on her bed, her laptop open. “Finally. I thought you got lost.”

“I texted that I’d be back late.”

“But you didn’t give me details.” Halla shut her laptop and sat up eagerly. “So what happened?”

Saffron set her bag on her own bed before sitting next to Halla, who moved over to make room. “It was horrible and wonderful and . . .”

“He kissed you, didn’t he?” Halla studied her face.

Saffron’s hand went to her lips. “You can tell?”

“No, I heard noise in the hall, and I peeked out the hole in the door. You two looked like you’ve put it all behind you. Last night you were ready to kill each other, and now you’re making out like there’s no tomorrow. What happened?”

“He didn’t know I was trying to reach him because his mother deleted the calls. My mother told her about the baby, that she was taking me to a clinic to take care of it, and to make sure he didn’t contact me. He thought I’d agreed to abort the baby.”

“Your mother again.” Halla’s face darkened. “That reminds me. Kendall was here earlier.” She pointed to a set of suitcases against the wall by the dresser. “She asked if she could stay with us tonight. Apparently, your mother isn’t making life easy for her.”

Saffron wasn’t surprised, and that saddened her. Poor Kendall. “Where is she now?”

“Somewhere with her boyfriend. She said she’d be back later. But what about you and Tyson? Is it still there? The connection you had?”

Saffron gave a long, happy sigh. “Oh, yes. It’s like we were made for each other. Kissing him was wonderful. I only ever felt this way with—” She broke off, confused at the thought.

“With who?” Halla’s eyes widened. “You were going to say Vaughn, weren’t you? So you do still like him.”

A sliver of guilt twirled around her mind. Vaughn would be hurt if he knew what had happened with Tyson, but they were no longer a couple, and he had no say over what she did. Why did she feel she’d betrayed him?

“He’s only a friend,” Saffron said.

“No way. Not from his side.”

“I remind you that he broke up with me. Anyway, Tyson has a girlfriend. Or had. But he told her about me. He wants to see where this goes.” Saffron couldn’t stop her smile as she grabbed Halla’s hands. “I think I found what I came back for. As terrible as that meeting was with my mother today, my talk with Tyson was perfect. You should have seen him when I told him about the baby. Ever since last night he’d been hoping for a relationship with him, and he cried when I told him what happened.”

Saffron paused, searching for words. “And suddenly all the resentment and hurt and anger I’ve been carrying around toward him was gone. I mean, I still long for my baby—and several times today it hurt even more to be with Tyson because I know for sure we could have made it—but at least I don’t feel so alone anymore.” Tyson still cared for her, and all the years of wondering how he could have let her face their baby’s death alone no longer weighed on her.

Halla’s eyes glittered with her own tears. “I’m happy for you.”

“Thanks. Of course, I don’t know what tomorrow will bring, but I’m hopeful. Anyway, tonight I need to focus on Kendall and how to help her. Tyson says Joel is amazingly talented but has no drive. I’m worried he’s using Kendall because of my mother’s wealth.”

“Your mother certainly seems to think so.”

“Well, she thought Tyson wouldn’t amount to anything, either, so her feelings don’t matter. I need to take her out of the equation altogether. Because she was wrong about us. Tyson and I would have made it.” Saffron was sure about this after today. They would have struggled, but they would have made it.

Now we have a second chance.

“What do you think Kendall should do?” Halla lay back on her pillows.

Right, she needed to think about Kendall now. Saffron considered a moment. “I don’t know. I don’t really even know her. I think I need advice.”

“Good thing you have Lily on speed dial. You call her, but first take a look at what I brought for after.” Halla popped up and went to the mini refrigerator, where she’d crammed several pints of ice cream into the little freezer section.

Saffron laughed. “You brought ice cream?”

“Duh! I had no idea how late you’d be. I got it at a place called Mariposa Homemade Ice Cream, and it’s not like they’re open all night. Call Lily, and as soon as you’re finished, we’ll dig in.”

Saffron rose from the bed and groped in her bag for her phone. A few grains of sand had gathered at the bottom of the bag, and it brought back the rush of being with Tyson again. If things continued for them, would they be able to make their relationship work this time around?

No, better not think too far ahead.

Lily answered on the third ring. “Hey, Saffron, how’s it going?”

“I found him.” Saffron paced to the door as she talked, not really caring if Halla overheard but feeling nervous to tell Lily.

“What happened?”

Saffron told her everything, from meeting her sister to seeing Tyson last night. Then the confrontation with her mother and her time with Tyson today. “You were right that there was something going on that I didn’t know about. He shouldn’t have believed I’d go along with my mother without talking to him, but I should have gotten help.”

“You were only a kid and scared. You made the only choices you felt you had available.”

Saffron sank onto her bed, tired from all her pacing. “You’re right. Halla reminded me of that today. Don’t worry. I’m not going back to that dark place where I held myself accountable for everything. I know I was young, and that my mother should have helped me better. But Tyson was young too. That’s all I’m saying.”

“Of course he was.” Lily’s voice was warm. “I’m so glad you’re finding the closure you need.”

“It might not be closure exactly.”

“You think you still love him?”

Saffron thought about that, aware of Lily waiting for her answer. And of Halla, who was sitting at the table tapping at her laptop but listening all the same. “I think I never stopped. He’s all I thought he’d turn out to be—and more. But he has a girlfriend, so it’s complicated. And . . .” She wanted to tell Lily about the painful lump in her throat that she’d felt even while kissing Tyson, but it was too personal. It was also too soon for everything to be completely resolved between them. At least the pain she’d felt at his abandonment was gone, and maybe the rest would fade with time.

“Naturally, there are others to think about now,” Lily was saying. “His family, your family, Vaughn . . .”

“I’m not sure our families work into it.” Or Vaughn. But she didn’t say this last because she knew Lily liked Vaughn and would feel sorry for him.

Lily laughed. “Honey, you’ve seen my struggle with my parents all these years. Family always works into it. And I can see how happy you are to have Kendall back in your life. She’s your family too.”

“Speaking of that, I’m not sure what to do about her. My mother won’t let them live with her, and I have to admit that I understand why. I’m certainly not willing to support him. I think that’s what it’d mean if they got married and stayed with me. I get the feeling . . .” Saffron searched for words, not wanting to put her sister down in Lily’s eyes. She didn’t know Kendall, not really, and as much as she wanted to help her sister, she wanted to make sure it was help she was offering and not a way of enabling her to make more poor choices. “I get the feeling Kendall’s waiting for someone to step in and take care of them.”

“That’s not too surprising,” Lily said. “She’s practically an only child, raised in an affluent family. She’s been taken care of all her life. A lot of kids these days think the world owes them a living. It’s called entitlement. They want right now what their parents worked years to obtain, but the biggest favor you can do them is not to help too much. They must learn to support themselves. And you know what? Those struggles will be special to her one day. Remember how it was for us back in that tiny apartment? And when we worked on the house?”

Those were memories Saffron held dear, and she would have never known how good it was to be able to support herself if she hadn’t struggled.

“I’ll tell her he can’t come to live with me if she asks,” Saffron said. “But I don’t want to ruin things between us. And I’m afraid if she did come . . . what if he just showed up? How would I make him leave? He doesn’t have a steady job, so he’s basically free to go where he wants, and after what Tyson said about him, I’m not sure he’ll find a job soon, wherever he lives.”

“If you’d like, Kendall can come here for a few months instead,” Lily said.

“I thought you’re already full.”

“Well, I’m two girls over the allotted ten I can have from the state, but since she’s eighteen, they don’t count her. I have space with the new rooms, and I can give her something to do to help out. It’d be good for her to talk with Tessa in therapy. Plus she’d be close enough for you to see often. I’m sure once Kendall figures out where she’s headed, and that she’s in control of her destiny, she’ll be okay. They always are.”

Saffron wanted to say they were okay mostly because of Lily’s influence, but she was too choked up by the offer to verbalize the thought. “Thank you,” she managed to whisper.

“Of course. You know that’s what I built this place for, helping girls. It’s just an option, if you need another one.” Her voice became playful. “But if you end up staying there because of a certain doctor, having Kendall here may not work for you.”

Saffron hadn’t thought that far ahead. She’d never had any intention of moving from Phoenix, but Tyson’s residency was here. “Well, I still plan on coming home,” she said. “We’re not exactly picking up where we left off, if that’s what you’re thinking.” There were some things they could never get back, especially their son.

Lily’s soft laughter came through the connection. “Okay, but remember that sometimes you’ve got to follow your heart. I think you’ll know what to do before too long. I have faith in you, and I’m so proud of you for doing this.”

Saffron blinked back tears. “That means a lot.”

“Go eat your ice cream now,” Lily said with another laugh. “Halla told me about it earlier, and knowing her, she’s chomping at the bit after waiting so long.”

Saffron looked up at Halla. “Yes, Halla is growing a little green around the mouth. Definite ice cream withdrawal. I’ll go take care of her. Thanks, Lily.”

Halla dove for the refrigerator. “Not if I take care of it first.” She had four pints out and was dipping a plastic spoon into strawberry ice cream before Saffron had put away her phone. She pushed a pint of coconut almond fudge in Saffron’s direction. “I bought us each two pints, but we can share. I wanted to try more than just one.”

“You kidding? I know how you feel about strawberry ice cream. I’ve already risked life and limb today going to see my mother. No way am I touching your strawberry ice cream.”

“Ha ha. Just because I like strawberry doesn’t mean I don’t love all the other flavors. Look, I got Mexican chocolate and mixed berry sorbet as well.”

“Nice. I’ll start on the sorbet, but I’m definitely going to have some of that coconut almond fudge after the day I’ve had.”

They spent the next few minutes eating ice cream and debating the deliciousness of the coconut almond fudge topped with the strawberry. In fact, Halla added strawberry to all the other flavors, and Saffron barely refrained from telling her that she should give up any pretense of liking the different flavors and go straight to the strawberry.

When they’d consumed most of the pints, Halla sat back and sighed. “I know Vaughn’s only taking your car in tomorrow, but what’s the chance he’ll make it down here before I need to get back?”

“I’m pretty sure you’ll have to drive his car back to Phoenix.”

“I don’t like leaving you without a car. Maybe I should post and see if any of my blog readers are going to Phoenix.”

“No way. If you ride with strangers, I’ll tell Lily.”

Halla rolled her eyes. “They aren’t strangers, they’re my fans.”

“They’re strangers, and I don’t mind not having a car. I’m not going anywhere, and Kendall can give me a ride if I need one.” Or Tyson could, but she didn’t want to voice that aloud or start depending on him. “Besides, if you take back his car, maybe Vaughn won’t feel the need to come down here.”

“You sound disappointed about that.”

“I do not!” Did she? But Saffron was too tired to examine her emotions in detail.

Halla laughed. “Okay, I’ll drive his car home, and I can bring yours here on Friday after school. There’s no way Vaughn can bring your car and get his here to drive himself back to Arizona.”

“Good idea.” Saffron’s stress level must be high if she hadn’t considered how he’d get home. Having Halla return with her car would also save her from facing Vaughn in person so soon. It was easier talking to him over text and on the phone.

Halla stood up and stretched. “Look, should I sleep with you tonight and let Kendall have my bed? I mean, I know she’s your sister but . . .”

Saffron smiled. “I’d be more comfortable, but I think we might offend her. So, that’s okay. I’ll let her sleep in my bed, and if it’s weird, I’ll come over to yours.”

Back in the old days, the original six foster girls had slept together like puppies wherever they fit, particularly on movie nights in front of the TV. Though it had been a long time since any of them had to pair up on mattresses on the floor, they were still a lot like a litter of puppies when they got together for their movie fests.

“Besides, she might not come back tonight,” Saffron added.

“Oh, I think she probably will. Two large suitcases and a carry-on seem to say she’s serious. And from listening to her, I don’t think there is any room where Joel is staying.”

“Sorry about her crashing our party.”

“Are you kidding? She’s your sister. That means she’s my sister too—in a weird sort of way. I wonder how she’s going to feel meeting the rest of us.”

Saffron had to smile at that. “I guess we’ll see. Um, so do you need to use the bathroom before I clean up? I have to shower after all the time I spent on the beach today. I swear my hair is permanently tangled.”

“You go ahead.” Halla grabbed the TV remote and lay on her bed. “But are you sure you want to wipe off his kisses with actual water?”

“Stop.” Saffron flipped her plastic spoon at Halla.

Halla squealed and dodged the missile. “Just kidding. I’m sure you can always get more tomorrow.”

Saffron gave up and stalked to the bathroom, pretending annoyance but all the time hoping Halla was right.

In the bathroom, she checked her phone, but the only messages were from Halla. They were silly, jokey things like “You kissing him yet?” And “Seriously, you’re choosing a man over ice cream? What’s wrong with you, girl?”

There was nothing from Tyson, which was expected, but also nothing from Vaughn, which made her feel a disappointment she didn’t really understand. It was better this way, of course, especially given the strong attraction between her and Tyson.

Saffron stepped into the hot shower and thought about seeing Tyson the next day. Maybe there would be more kissing. Of course, that was after work, after he saw the woman he’d been dating. Not only did they work together, they had a past—an adult past. She couldn’t fool herself into thinking there wasn’t a chance their relationship was stronger than what she and Tyson had shared.