14

Kendall knocked on her sister’s door at the inn, hoping she was still up. She hadn’t meant to be out so late, but Joel had wanted to stream a movie on Netflix, and she’d fallen asleep on the couch. She hadn’t meant to, but since becoming pregnant, she couldn’t seem to get enough sleep. At the moment, she only wanted her comfortable bed and air-conditioned room, but she couldn’t return to her mother and the brochures she’d printed about adoption. Staying with Joel in an apartment with six other guys also wasn’t an option, even if they could both sleep on the couch, which was impossible. She was lucky Saffron was in town.

Maybe she could get her sister to let both her and Joel move in with her for a while in Phoenix. Getting Joel away from his friends might be the jumpstart they needed. Kendall knew he would step up when it came right down to it. He should be able to get a good job—everyone said he did beautiful work. She only wished he was a bit more excited about the baby. At first, he’d been so proud, putting his hand on her stomach possessively as he bragged about becoming a father, but lately the throwing up and nausea had put a damper on everything.

She was so tired that she didn’t know how she was going to make it through school tomorrow. Maybe I won’t go, she thought, knocking harder on the door. If she was giving school up, why bother dragging it out a few more days? She was sickest during the morning when she had her classes, and interior design had always been her mother’s thing, not hers.

The door opened, and Saffron stood there in a hot pink nightshirt with matching pink and white polka-dotted shorts. She looked different somehow. Happier.

“Sorry I’m so late.”

Saffron led her inside, a welcoming smile on her face. “You’re just in time. Halla and I are going to watch an episode of Charmed.”

“Never heard of it, but I’m game.” Kendall tried to put excitement into her voice, which was more difficult than she thought. Who had ever expected that such a tiny baby could make her so tired?

“Good, because I have exactly the thing to perk you up.” Halla, dressed in a Tweetie Bird nightshirt, was opening the little refrigerator. She pulled out two pints of ice cream.

“What, you have more? How did you get all that in there?” Saffron asked.

Halla smirked. “Very carefully. Remember, a pregnant woman always needs ice cream.”

“Pregnant women and women named Halla, you mean.” Saffron handed Kendall a spoon, then ushered her to the bed, where they had a laptop set up on what looked like a plastic lid belonging to a cooler.

“Aren’t you guys having any?” Kendall asked.

“We already ate two,” Halla said. “Two each, that is. These are for you.”

Saffron rearranged the pillows. “Up you go.”

Seconds later, Kendall found herself wedged between the other two, right in the middle of their conversation about ice cream and how many pints they could eat. She felt a rush of envy that they knew each other so well. It should be her and Saffron who acted like sisters, not Saffron and Halla. But their mother had stolen that from them—she couldn’t blame Saffron for leaving or for not coming back sooner.

The first bite of coconut almond fudge drove all thoughts from her head. She gobbled the entire pint in pure bliss, not even paying attention to the show. But before she could dig into the second, she started sobbing.

“Oh, honey, what’s wrong?” Saffron put an arm around her, motioning for Halla to take the ice cream. The sound to the show cut off as Halla paused it.

“I think I’m just tired.” Kendall wiped furiously at her tears. “And a little worried. Mom wants me to dump Joel, and after Joel finishes at Tyson’s parents’ house, he doesn’t have a job lined up. He’s not even worried about it. I know he wants this baby, but sometimes I wish . . . I wish he were a little more responsible.” There, she’d said it, but she needed to make them understand Joel’s potential. “And don’t tell me I should leave him because we love each other. I don’t need anyone else telling me I’m making a big mistake. He’s the father of my baby, and we’re going to be a family. It’s all the pressure that’s making me crazy.”

“Any decision you make is yours.” Saffron said, her arms still around Kendall. “I’m not telling you what to do.”

It felt so nice to have a big sister to turn to. Maybe two of them. Because Halla was also looking at her with concern from the refrigerator where she was stuffing the uneaten ice cream back into the little freezer.

“Meanwhile, until you figure it out,” Saffron added, “you can crash here for the next few days.”

Panic filled Kendall. “Is that all you’re going to stay? Just a few days?”

“Well, I have to go back sometime. My life’s in Phoenix, and it’s really expensive for me here. But that doesn’t mean I won’t be there for you.”

“Then did you mean it when you said I could go back to Phoenix with you?”

A guarded look came into Saffron’s eyes, and her resemblance to their mother startled Kendall. “You’re welcome to stay with me for a little while, but I have only one bedroom, and my apartment is filled with jewelry-making equipment. So it’s not the most comfortable.”

Halla snorted. “Let me tell you, her beads are everywhere. That’s why she moved out of my apartment.”

“Well, that and the privacy,” Saffron muttered.

“We don’t give her too much privacy anyway,” Halla said. “We all have a key.”

The jealousy Kendall had felt toward Halla returned with a vengeance. “What are you saying?” she demanded of Saffron. “You don’t want me to stay with you?”

“No, that’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying I don’t have room for Joel. And that if you want to stay longer term, they have an opening at Lily’s House. That’s where I lived after . . . after I lost the baby.”

“A foster home?” Kendall was aghast. “I’m not a child! I don’t need anyone looking after me.”

Halla returned to the bed with a box of tissues. “It’s Lily’s House, so not your average foster home. And believe me, Lily will put you to work. She’ll probably try to get you certified by the state so she can get more girls.”

“Many of us stayed after eighteen,” Saffron added. “I was there until twenty. Anyway, it’s just an option. I’m not sure how long I’ll be staying at my apartment. Some things have happened—”

“She kissed Tyson tonight,” Halla put in.

Kendall blinked. “You what? You mean . . .?” So that was why Saffron looked so happy. “I can’t believe it. I thought he was almost engaged.”

“Looks like we came in the nick of time.” Halla’s voice was sardonic, and Saffron gave her a hard stare. “Well, it’s true.”

“Tyson and I have a lot to work out, that’s all,” Saffron said. “I’m not jumping into anything, and I don’t want to leave Phoenix, but that might need to change. Anyway, my love life doesn’t have anything to do with what you and Joel decide to do.”

Kendall pushed away from her sister and jumped from the bed. “It does when you’re willing to have me stay with you but not Joel. If we were married would that make a difference? Because I can march him down to city hall tomorrow. I just don’t see why it matters to you if he camps out on the couch for a few weeks.”

“How long has he been at his friend’s?” Saffron countered, a flush growing on her face.

Six months, but Kendall wouldn’t tell her that. “It doesn’t matter. It’s not like it would be a burden. I could make the food, and he could fix things for you when he’s not working.”

“And who would buy the food?”

“I would!” The nerve of her. As if Kendall would want her charity. “I can get a job.” She’d have to once her mother cut off her allowance.

Saffron stared at her, dismay in her eyes. “I’m sorry. He can’t stay with me. I work at home, and there’s not enough room. But you could come with me, and he can move to Phoenix after he finds a job there. Or you could come back here to him when he has a place ready.”

That wasn’t at all what Kendall wanted. “I can’t be away from him!” What if he found someone else? She’d seen the way his friend’s sister looked at him. Kendall knew Joel loved her, but she didn’t want to leave anything to chance. “I can’t believe you won’t help us.” She threw up her hands. “You know what? Never mind. I don’t need you!” Kendall turned to leave and was surprised to find little Halla blocking her way.

“Just calm down,” Halla said.

“Get out of my way!” Kendall tried to push past her, but Halla stood her ground.

“Is that really what you want? To leave? Where will you go? You have a sister here who loves you and who wants to help. As for Joel, he needs to decide what he wants to do—if he’s going to man up and support your child, or if he plans to keep sleeping on someone’s couch and doing odd jobs. But don’t make it easy for him to do nothing.”

Her words struck Kendall like a slap. Because for months now it had been her pushing him to get a job, pushing for them to find a place to live, pushing him to be a man. She was tired of it. Bone tired. So tired she wanted to lie down on Saffron’s bed and cry herself to sleep.

Somehow Saffron knew, whether by the slump of her shoulders or through sisterly intuition, it didn’t really matter. Her arms went around Kendall again. “Please stay,” she said. “We’ll work something out. Our friend Lily has connections if Joel wants to find work. What’s important is that precious baby you’re carrying. I don’t want you to lose her or him like I lost my baby.”

Suddenly Kendall’s emotions realigned. Her frustration ebbed, she felt more energy, and hope burned in her chest. The baby. Yes, she wanted everything good for this baby. That was the most important thing. More important than herself. More important than even Joel. “Okay,” she whispered. “I’ll stay. Thank you.”

“Here, come back to the bed. We’ll turn off the light and talk about unimportant stuff.” Saffron cracked a grin. “Like how Halla should join Ice Cream Eaters Anonymous.”

Kendall smiled despite herself. “Okay.”

Saffron tucked Kendall’s hair behind her ear, her concerned expression changing to one of surprise. “Nice earrings . . .”

Kendall pushed her hair farther out of the way. “Thanks. Sorry they’re not the ones you gave me. They’re Mom’s. I borrowed them before I snuck out. I was mad at her.” She shrugged. “She hates it when I borrow her things.”

Halla peered at the earrings. “Hey, those look like—” She broke off at a shake from Saffron’s head.

Kendall was glad. She didn’t want anyone telling her how much the earrings cost and why she shouldn’t have taken them. “I’ll give them back tomorrow.”

Saffron’s smile looked strained, though maybe Kendall was mistaken. “Well, I hope you packed pajamas,” Saffron said.

Kendall nodded. “I did. But first I really need to pee.” She skirted around Halla, heading for the bathroom, while the others started laughing.

There was still a sliver of anger in Kendall’s heart at Halla for her interference, but she was honest enough to admit that it was most likely because she was jealous of her relationship with Saffron.

After she and Joel were married and had the baby, none of this would matter. She just needed to figure out how to make that happen. Maybe going to Phoenix is a good idea, she thought. Joel loved her, and if she wasn’t around, it might set a fire under him to act. If it didn’t, wouldn’t it be better to know that now? Her heart ached at the thought.

She placed a hand on her stomach, looking in the bathroom mirror. “I promise you that I will always keep you safe. I promise.”