Girls against boys today, and so there were the girls with their dresses tucked into their pants, waiting. The boys came out of their huddle and called, ‘Ana.’
‘We call Ana.’
‘Ana Banana.’
Ana could run it straight or try trickery. Straight she decided, and committed now with a toe over the line. Away with hair rippling, eyes fixed on the far corner, that far far corner, the corner far….
Boys bearing down, slapping thighs and yodelling. And confident. If Denny Boy didn’t get her Macky would.
‘Ana Banana.’
‘Anabanana.’
‘Banana Ana,’ Denny Boy leaving the bunch in a fast sprint, slowing down and lingering for the show of it, then diving for the ankle slap. But not quite. Not quite. Ana was ready for him. She side-stepped and kicked him in the knee, then she was off again.
Infield. No hope of a straight run now, nearly all on top of her. Facing her. Spreading out and facing. Back at the line the girls all screamed, ‘Run Ana.’
‘Run.’
‘Ana run.’
‘Runana,’ over the humps and cracks, plops and thistles. Not far to go, but they all knew someone would … Macky. She hit like a slammed door while the other girls all yelled at her to get up Ana.
‘Get up.’
‘Up Ana.’
‘Come on, gee.’
‘Gee, come on Ana, get up.’
‘Up.’
Macky’s fingers were clamped to her ankle but he hadn’t got her yet. He hadn’t got her three times in the middle of the back and those were the rules. She kicked out with her free foot, but he wouldn’t let go, and now the other boys were sitting on her. Thumping One, taking their time for the show of it, Two, caught Three. Howzat?
‘Howzat?’ The boys were doing some sort of dance, an arms and legs dance, a face dance, a bum dance, and the girls were wild. Sukeys they called.
‘Pick a fast runner next time sukeys.’
‘Cheats.’
‘Sukeys and cheats.’
Not that the boys cared, getting together for their next conference. They decided to call Charlotte, just to prove they weren’t sukeys. Or cheats.
‘Cha-arlotte.’
‘Ba-anjoes.’
‘Charlotte Banjoes,’ they weren’t scared.
Charlotte leapt forward and three of the boys ran ahead to help from the front because they knew it would take a united effort. Macky was coming from behind, but suddenly Charlotte halted and put her foot out and he somersaulted over it. ‘Go Charlotte, go Charlotte,’ the girls screamed. She went off at another angle with only three boys to beat. She charged straight for them, stopped and buckled her knees at them, then changed direction again and went for the line. Safe, with Macky throwing dung at her and the girls yelling, ‘All over, all over,’ running out into the bunch of angry boys.
Two more of the girls ran across safely while those who were caught went to the sideline to recuperate, and to await the revenge time.
‘How’s that you fullas?’
‘Only three of you fullas left.’
‘Shut up you cheats.’
‘Just only three.’
‘Who do you call?’
Erana ran out with fists flying. She saw a little gap between Jack and Denny Boy that could be big enough for a side-step foot-change and through, but not quite. She was quickly caught, held and tagged, and so was Becky. That left Charlotte.
‘Banjoes.’
‘Cha-arlotte.’
‘Ba-anjoes.’
Charlotte ran out on to the field and swerved round two of the boys. She knocked another down knowing there was still a long way to go. Knowing Macky had it in for her and that the foot trip wouldn’t work a second time. He was gaining on her and wasn’t put off by her sudden balk tactic. Still gaining, and with a strong group up front, Charlotte knew her chances were not good. She tried a change of direction but Macky stayed with her. He was close enough now but seemed to be delaying, and Charlotte didn’t know why. Then suddenly she knew. She saw the thistle as Macky brought her down on top of it. Macky wisely held tightly on to both of her legs until help came. It came swiftly. ‘One, Two, Three.’
‘All out, all out.’
‘Howzat?’
‘Howzat you fullas?’ but the girls were already conferring and Charlotte was enraged. ‘Macky-Blacky,’ she called, and she was going to throw that Macky in the tutae for sure.
After him. The slipperiest, the ugliest…. Charlotte was running alonside and they all knew she would have to do something quick because Macky-Blacky was faster than she was. She kicked his legs from under him and swiped him in the back with her fist. Macky was down with Charlotte on top of him. He wriggled on to his back so that she couldn’t tag him; after all he was not only the fastest but also slipperiest so he wasn’t caught yet. But Charlotte wasn’t so interested in tagging him because there was a big round, soft plop not far away. She dug her knees into Macky’s thighs, pinned his arms down and rolled. Now he was on top but still quite helpless. Another heave and roll … a splash and his back was right in it, good job. ‘Good job Blacky.’
Macky bounced up, and suddenly there was blood pouring out of Charlotte’s nose. Then the two of them were down again punching and kicking, while all the others shouted at them to get up.
‘Come on, gee.’
‘Gee-ee you’re spoiling the game.’
‘Gees you fullas spoil everything.’
And Denny Boy was really mad. He was still in. He hadn’t been caught yet and these fullas must fight. He got through the fence and had a drink at the creek, then he sat on the stile to wait. Gee those two fighting, and the rest of them hopping about and shouting, and he was still in. He hadn’t had his turn yet. A-ack they made him sick.
He stood up on the stile … and it was from there that he noticed, far away at the end of the beach where the road began, a little speck which seemed to roll from side to side. He’d seen that same speck doing that same thing more than two years ago. And he knew what it was if only he could remember—Now he remembered. He knew what it was, who it was. It was Uncle Kepa, home from the sea, lifting his feet high as he walked so as not to get dust on his shoes. Uncle Kepa who had been to all the countries in the world and who was bringing them back a monkey. Denny Boy began to run. Across the paddock, down to the beach and over the stones.
Back in mid-field Lizzie noticed him going for his life, he was cunning that Denny Boy. You had to watch Denny Boy, running off in the middle of a fight like that. He was up to something. Look at him, running like a porangi….
‘Uncle Kepa,’ Lizzie screamed, and began to run too. The others were only seconds behind her, calling.
‘Come back here Denny Boy.’
‘Cheat.’
‘Liar.’
‘Stink bum.’
Charlotte, still running, ripped the bottom off her dress and wiped the blood from her face. Then she handed the rag to Macky who wiped all round his mouth where his teeth had come through his lip. ‘You wait smarty,’ she was yelling, ‘Come back tutae face.’ But Denny Boy was way ahead. Not even Macky or Charlotte could catch him now. And if Uncle Kepa gave that monkey to Denny Boy well watch out.
For some years now, whenever they had thought about Uncle Kepa who had been round the world thousands of times, millions of times and overcounting times, they would discuss claims on the pet monkey that their uncle would one day bring.
Charlotte said she should have it because she was the eldest, but she would let them all come and see it whenever they wanted to. Denny Boy thought that he should be able to keep the monkey because he helped Uncle Kepa a lot. He cleaned Uncle’s tank out, chopped his wood, and looked after his fishing lines while he was away. Becky and Lizzie backed Charlotte’s claim because she was their sister and that would make them second in charge. One day Mereana had said that Uncle would be sure to give her the monkey because she was the youngest, and they all stared at her wondering if this could happen. No. Charlotte decided that Mereana was too small to look after a monkey.
Yes. The others were relieved. Mereana wasn’t big enough but they would let her—and just then, Macky, who was stretched out on his back looking at the sky said, ‘Uncle Kepa, he’s going to give that monkey to me.’
‘You?’ they all yelled.
‘You?’
‘You don’t even know Uncle Kepa.’
‘You haven’t even seen Uncle Kepa.’
‘Aunty Connie, she only got you last year.’
‘Uncle Kepa, he’s not your real uncle.’
Macky closed His eyes, ‘Uncle Kepa, I bet he’ll give that monkey to me.’
‘What for?’
‘Yeah. What for? He never told you he was bringing a monkey.’
‘You weren’t here.’
‘Aunty Connie, she only got you last year.’
‘Uncle Kepa, he’ll give that monkey to me.’
‘What for?’
‘Because I look like a monkey that’s what for. And the monkey will like me the best.’
They all stared at Macky angrily, wondering. ‘You always say that’s what I look like, a monkey, so that means I do.’ Macky got up and started running around on his hands and feet. Then he stood up, stuck his bottom teeth out up over his top lip and began scratching under his armpits. When he could see that they were really worried he ran up a tree and hung from a branch by one hand making noises like Tarzan’s ape.
They watched him without speaking for a long time. Then Charlotte said, ‘You don’t look like a monkey any more.’
‘No,’ they all agreed. ‘You don’t look like a monkey at all.’
‘Only when Aunty Connie first got you you did.’ But they were worried.
‘I think Aunty Connie might give you back soon.’ And after that they’d spent the rest of the morning swinging in the trees and gibbering.
Later that day someone had put forward the idea that if they made a house for the monkey and kept it in the orchard then that would be fair, because the orchard belonged to everyone. They had all agreed, each thinking he would find a way out if Uncle Kepa gave the monkey to him.
But now, there was Denny Boy hugging Uncle Kepa. And while it was one thing to be the eldest, or the youngest, or to be lucky and look like a monkey, it was another thing to be first and smart. Uncle Kepa was sitting himself down in the lupins at the side of the road to wait for them. He put his arms out and they all fell in. ‘Ah my babies, my babies,’ he kept saying.
His babies all hugged him then moved back so the monkey wouldn’t get squashed. Where would Uncle keep a monkey? So far they couldn’t see a monkey anywhere. All Uncle’s pockets were flat and he wasn’t carrying any boxes. There was only his bag. Charlotte dug her elbow into Mereana and whispered, ‘You ask, you’re the youngest.’ So Mereana hid behind Lizzie. And Denny Boy, making sure to keep the upper hand said, ‘Uncle you got us a monkey?’
‘Ah no my babies. Not this time. The monkey, he got away. That monkey, he’s too quick for this funny old uncle. Next time my babies.’
Ah well.
They walked along the beach with their uncle who rolled from side to side as though he was still on board. Uncle was a big strong man, and he had chased a monkey the length and breadth of some faraway jungle, climbing trees and swinging from branch to branch, but the monkey had got away. It shows you how quick and clever monkeys are.
That evening when Uncle Kepa was sitting in a chair by the stove at Aunty Connie’s place with all the kids hanging round, he said, ‘Ah that’s good. Good to be a landlubber for a while. Good to see all my babies again. All my babies. These the only babies I got.’ Then the kids heard Aunty Connie say, ‘What about that drop kick of yours over in Aussie?’ and Aunty Connie was laughing.
Then Uncle looked at the ceiling and started to laugh too, ‘Ee hee, ee hee, ee hee hee.’ Uncle Kepa was a great big man but his laugh was high and skinny like a seagull noise. And gee they all had a lot of things to talk about when it was time to go back to school. All about their uncle who was a great big man who went everywhere in the world in a big ship. And who was bringing them a monkey one day. As well as that they’d just found out that uncle was a famous footballer too, and it made him laugh like anything.