The apartment was down an alley, in an old building, on the second floor above Dessie’s dress shop. After parking the truck, Samantha had shown them into the apartment before going to her own across the courtyard, above Juliet’s Lily. Pete was meeting her there later.
Sarah was grateful that Calum had had the apartment above Dessie’s freshened up for them. He’d even had food delivered, fresh towels laid out, and new sheets on the large bed in the master bedroom and the smaller one in the spare bedroom. Each bedroom had its own bathroom.
She’d showered, dried her hair, and put on pink PJ pants with a black cami. She’d also thrown on a blue zippered sweatshirt. The AC kept the apartment in arctic temps.
Lightning flashed outside as she boiled water in the galley kitchen. Nate was taking a shower in the smaller bathroom attached to the spare room. He’d offered her the big bed, and when she’d argued with him, he’d just walked away. She still thought it was ridiculous. He was twice her size. He should take the large bed, and she’d be fine on the twin.
She washed and rinsed his handkerchief, the one that he’d use to wrap her ankle and then her arm, and draped it over a dish drying rack. The handkerchief was important to him, and she wanted to make sure she returned it washed and ironed.
She’d asked him to talk about what had happened in the alley, but he’d refused to explain. While frustrated, she also got it. It’d been a long, physically demanding day. She needed sleep, but her mind wouldn’t shut down.
The revelations from Hugh and Samantha had shifted something inside her. At first, she’d been shocked and suspicious because of all of the lies. But after seeing Nate experience a flashback in the alley and then learning about Remiel, she’d made a decision. She was going to help Nate.
She just had no idea how.
She poured hot water over her tea bag and breathed in the scent of lavender essential oil heating in the diffuser. Her burn salve was on the table. Her herbal remedies had given her father some relief, and she hoped they’d do the same for Nate.
Her plan was more emotional and less physical because she wasn’t the type to fall into bed with every hot man she met. Not that she met many. And none of them as handsome as Nate. Her problem with men was she had no idea what she wanted or how to go after it.
She added honey to the teacup and stirred. The infusion darkened the water. Maybe her problem was that she’d never met the right kind of man. A generous, patient, strong, incredibly hot, and handsome man…
“Sarah?”
She turned and dropped the spoon on the floor. She’d shut off all the lamps except one, yet it wasn’t enough to hide Nate. He stood a few feet away, almost naked. And by almost she meant he only wore black sweatpants. The rest of his incredibly hardcore body was unclothed. She’d seen him earlier that day in the gym and when she’d put salve on his arms. But things were different now. The scars, gouges, burns, and bruises carried a darker meaning.
Samantha had mentioned he’d been tortured. Yet, until this moment, Sarah hadn’t fully comprehended what that meant. She picked up the spoon and dropped it into the sink. “Your tea will be ready in a moment.”
“Take your time. Really.”
She smiled and handed him a mug. “I can add extra honey. Augustus would only drink it with four spoonfuls.”
“I don’t need any honey.” Nate frowned into the cup. “I bet Augustus was short, too.”
She chuckled and put the honey away. “Augustus was almost my height.”
“Five-seven?”
“Five-six.” Now that made him smile.
“No wonder your father hated him.” Nate wrinkled his nose. “I also smell lavender.”
She pointed to the glass tray over a votive candle. “Essential oil. I asked Samantha to pack it. I’m diffusing it into the air, and it should help with your headaches. Now drink your tea.”
He tasted the tea until he started coughing.
“You should drink four cups a day.” She turned away so he wouldn’t see her smile. “Augustus drank three.”
Nate threw his head back and downed it. “Done.” He put the cup down with a “blech.”
“It’s not that bad.” While rinsing his cup, she added, “You’ll see a difference in a few days.”
His face drained of color, and she realized what she’d said. But since he hadn’t told her about where he was going, she wasn’t sure if she should bring it up. “Nate—”
“It’s okay, Sarah. Whatever you were going to say, it’s okay.”
She spun around and gripped the counter’s edge behind her. “I know you’re leaving on Sunday. Samantha told me you’re returning to that prison hospital.”
“She shouldn’t have said anything.” He shoved his hands in his pockets. But the movement couldn’t hide his sudden reaction. His erection tented the fleece. He didn’t apologize or turn away. But he wouldn’t look at her either.
The blush started in her toes and rose to her forehead. Her entire body was on fire.
“It’s almost midnight.” He nodded toward the spare bedroom. “We…I…should probably get to bed.”
That sooooooo didn’t help. While she wasn’t ready to throw down with him on the sheets, she was too restless to sleep. Samantha’s request also haunted Sarah’s mind. Maybe she should open up to him more, offer him that sense of connection Samantha believed he’d need. “Would you like me to put some more salve on your arms?”
He swallowed. The muscles in his neck contracted, and she couldn’t help herself. She allowed herself to visually memorize him. He was so beautiful it caused an ache in her lower stomach. The fact that he had to return to the prison hospital had become a physically painful reality. If she was reacting this way, she couldn’t imagine the hell he suffered.
“Come on.” She took his hand and led him to a chair near the couch. Once he was seated, she turned off the last lamp. The only light, from the gas lamp in the courtyard outside, draped the room in shadows. She grabbed a dish towel and the salve container from the table and knelt next to him. He closed his eyes and laid his head back in surrender.
She tried not to stare at his chiseled chest. Was there such a thing as eight-pack abs? Or a ten-pack? Exhaling slowly, she took out a fingerful of salve, held the wrist of the closest arm, and gently rubbed the salve into his healing skin. “I hope my hands aren’t too cold.”
“It feels nice. I’m always hot.”
She focused on dabbing salve on his arms and working it in. Most of his arm had new skin that wasn’t as red as it’d looked earlier. As she moved up, toward his bicep, the muscles beneath his skin contracted. She used a rhythmic touch to make sure she didn’t miss any spots. Once at his shoulder, she used a firmer touch. The skin looked healthier, if a bit more scarred, and the muscles were bunched in knots. She just didn’t want to hurt him.
“You’re not hurting me.”
He could read her mind? She was surprised to see his green eyes open and focused on her. “Your skin…it’s healing.”
“That salve feels nice.”
“I’m glad. Do you want me to do the other arm?”
“Please.” He swallowed. “I saw that recipe box. Was that your grandmother’s?”
“And my mom’s. It’s where they kept all of Anne Capel’s recipes they could find.” Sarah couldn’t stop staring at his lips. They were moist and red and partly open as if struggling to breathe. “Nate—” She hesitated, then forged ahead. “What happened to your parents?”
He closed his eyes. “Car ran off the road during an ice storm. My sister and I survived, but my parents didn’t. We lived with my uncle…until we ran away. She was eighteen, and I was seventeen. I ended up at UNC Chapel Hill on an ROTC scholarship. I was lucky.”
Lucky? That’s the last word she’d use to describe his life. And she was sure there were other things that he’d left out. “Was your uncle kind?”
“He was an alcoholic who liked to collect hunting knives and terrorize children.” Nate stated the sentence clearly, without emotion, but his lips had tightened and the scar on his cheek looked deeper. She could only imagine what kind of home he’d had until he’d gone to college and joined the army. She also realized that Nate hadn’t had a real home since his parents’ death.
“You have a sister?” For some reason, she’d believed he was an only child.
“She lives in North Carolina, near Asheville.” He opened his eyes, and his gaze found Sarah’s mouth. Her breath shortened. “My sister attempted suicide ten years ago. She’s been in a mental health facility ever since.”
She blinked away the blurriness. Nate had survived a traumatic loss at a young age. No wonder he was always trying to protect everyone.
“Nate.” Her words got caught in her throat and it hurt to speak. “I’m sorry.”
“I’ve never seen your hair down. It’s beautiful.” One hand was on hers, the other played with tendrils that framed her face. “Now it’s your turn.”
She kept her hands and her focus on Nate’s other arm. Otherwise she might cry. “I lost my mother when I was sixteen and she was thirty-two. She used to call me her soul’s joy. After her death, my father became chief of police, working horrible hours, and I immersed myself in school. Since finishing my graduate degrees, I’ve worked to make a name for myself in a small, competitive field.”
She paused to get another dab of salve and continued on his other bicep. “Then my father’s scandal and my betrayal by my colleagues ripped our lives apart.” She finished his arm and wiped her hands on a dish towel. Unable to stop touching him, she sat on the chair’s arm and held his hand to her cheek. “Why is everything so complicated?”
“You mean why couldn’t we have met under simpler circumstances?”
She nodded.
His thumb traced her bottom lip. “Nothing about our lives has been simple.”
“You’re probably right.” She touched the scar on his cheek, feeling the indentation and hard edges. “Even if we’d met before, we wouldn’t have noticed each other.”
“Oh, sweetheart.” His slow-spreading smile brightened his face. “I would’ve noticed you. I would’ve taken you away from that short troll Augustus, and it would’ve led to an incredible one-night stand. After not being able to stop thinking about each other, we would’ve started a fabulous few weeks of intense dates, each night ending in wilder and wilder sex.”
“Wow.” She’d no idea what to say to that. “You’ve been thinking about this.” Of course, she had too. It’d been pretty much all she’d been thinking about for the past two weeks. Although her daydreams were probably tamer than his.
He dropped the smile. “Then I would’ve left without being able to tell you where or why or for how long. Our texts would get shorter and shorter until turning into a conversation between emojis and memes. You’d get tired of waiting or insecure about my feelings and pull away.”
“I’d never do that.”
“When I returned home, there’d be awkward phone conversations. A meeting for coffee where you received a sudden call and had to leave. One night I’d surprise you at your apartment only to find you with another man. A lawyer you worked with. Or the guy from the third floor. Maybe even your ex.”
“I’d never do that to you.” She held his face in her palms. “Please tell me no one else did.”
“I believe you.”
She inhaled until her lungs hurt. What kind of woman would betray a man who’d proved he’d do anything to protect those he loved? The thought made Sarah want to take Pete’s dirty fighting class and kill the foolish cows.
Just not right now.
Nate lifted her hair off her shoulders and let it fall down her back. She caressed his face with her thumbs, feeling the day’s worth of stubble. He unzipped her sweatshirt and used both hands to slip it off her shoulders. It landed on the floor with a whoosh that matched her intake of breath. His fingers trailed the camisole straps from her shoulders down to the scoop neckline. Her rapid breathing caused her breasts to rise and fall. His fingers traced the soft curves above the satin edging, and she trembled under the weight of intense anticipation.
As if knowing she couldn’t bear his near-touch any longer, he took one of her hands and kissed her palm before laying it on his chest, over his heart. “The memory of every woman I’ve ever met pales before you.”
She swallowed, her mouth suddenly dry. “Nate—”
He pulled her onto his lap. His arms circled her waist, and her legs hung off the armrest. One of her arms went around his neck, her other hand now rubbing his bare chest. “From the moment I saw you in that garden two weeks ago, what few relationships I’ve had faded away. I can’t remember names or events or circumstances.”
His heart beat fast beneath her hand, and he’d been right about his being hot. His skin scorched hers, and she half-expected to be left with third-degree burns. She laid her head on his shoulder and breathed in his scent. He usually smelled like the woods, but now he smelled like honey and beeswax. The contracting muscles beneath her hand emphasized his strength; his rapid breath exposed his uncertainty; his erection beneath her hip betrayed his need.
It’d been so long since she’d been this close to a man she’d forgotten how they tasted and what they smelled like. How wonderfully hard they were. How amazing it felt to be held like she weighed nothing. She kissed his neck.
He gasped. “Sarah.” The word rolled off his tongue with a deep drawl. She smiled. His North Carolina accent deepened when he was kissing her. “We need sleep.”
“Probably.” Still, she refused to move. Refused to give up any contact with him. “Except I’m not tired.”
“No?” His hands moved until one held her head and the other trailed her spine and rested on her lower back.
She shivered and pressed in closer. “No.” She kissed his neck again. His arms tightened, then he groaned. “Nate?”
“Hmm?” His eyes were closed, and his hand moved in circles, similar to the rhythm she’d used on his arms. His erection shifted beneath her, making itself known in case she hadn’t noticed.
She kissed his chin. “It’s been a long time.”
He opened his eyes and held her head so close their lips brushed. “For me too.”
She inhaled his scent and let her lips rest on his. “I don’t want to wait anymore.”
Her hair surrounded them in a world all of their own. In a world where it was the two of them with no drama, conflict, or secrets. No one threatening to tear them apart. Threatening to separate them with opposite goals and cross-purposes. “Are you sure?”
She scrambled off his lap and yanked her camisole over her head, giving him his answer: “Yes, Nate. I’m sure.”