13

 

As soon as Nigel arrived, Patrick left without saying goodbye. He drove to the gym barely keeping to the speed limit. He changed into tee shirt and shorts, determined to take his frustration, anger, and fear out on the equipment. He headed first to the treadmill, running the fastest 3k he’d ever done in his life. Before long, sweat slicked his hair back against his head, trickling down into his eyes and soaking his shirt, as he made his way around the gym.

He reached the punch bag, not bothering with the gloves as he slammed his fists into it, over and over again.

A hand came down on his arm. He looked up, breathing hard. He blinked, not expecting to see his brother standing there. This wasn’t his day to work out. “Liam?”

“In the flesh.”

“What are you doing here?”

“Frank rang. Said you seemed intent on killing yourself. Figured I’d come and stop you before you really did do some serious damage to yourself or the equipment.”

Patrick shrugged off his brother’s touch and slammed his hand into the punch bag. Pain ricocheted up his arm, but he ignored it. Compared to the pain in his heart it was nothing. “She lied to me.”

“Who did?” Liam moved around to hold the bag steady.

“Elle.” He thumped the bag hard, almost knocking Liam off his feet. “She lied and now I don’t know what else she’s lied about. How do I protect her when she won’t be honest with me?”

Liam raised an eyebrow. “Protect her?”

“Forget I said that.” Patrick winced as he hit the bag wrong, sending further shards of pain up his arm.

“I heard through the church email that her mother was killed in a car accident yesterday. Abbie was hurt, too. I’m guessing that’s related. How is Abbie doing?”

“Not great. We rushed her back to the ED this morning. She was throwing up blood. They’re running tests, talking surgery.”

Liam grabbed his hand. “You are going to hurt yourself. Why are you so worked up over this? Your job has never thrown you out of whack before. Is it just because Elle has come back into your life after all so long?”

“Yes. No.” He sucked in a deep breath, his chest hurting. “Because while I’m investigating the biggest drug dealer around not to mention trying to liaise with the Scottish police, I find Elle after all these years. And she works for the guy. There are just too many coincidences for these things to just happen at the same time. And I don’t believe in fate either, just like you don’t.”

Liam held his gaze and his hand firmly. “Fate might not play a part in this, but don’t forget God is in overall charge of everything.”

“I know that, Li. Sure God may have brought Elle back into my life at this particular point in time for some reason I can’t fathom, but she’s mixed up in this mess somehow, and I can’t figure it out. What I need is for DI Nemec to stop dragging his heels and get me the promised info on this Foster.” He pulled his hand free and punched the bag again hard, this time splitting the skin on his knuckles.

Liam grabbed him again. “So call him and chase it up. Maybe, like you, he’s working more than one case and it’s sitting on his desk waiting to be sent.”

“Maybe. But then today I find out that Abbie is Elle’s daughter, not her sister, and it’s possible that Abbie is mine.”

His brother hesitated for a moment and let go of him. “Do you know for certain she’s yours?”

Patrick shook the hair from his face, sweat streaming down his neck and chest. “I know the math is right.”

“That doesn’t mean anything.”

“Elle’s lied about being her mother since Abbie was born. What else is she lying about? And why didn’t she tell me?” He swung at the bag again, only to have Liam grab his hand. “What, Li?” he demanded.

“Enough. You and I are going patch your hands up and we are going to talk this out.”

“I can’t talk about work stuff, you know that.” Never mind the fact he’d just done that, hadn’t he?

“Not the work stuff, just the personal stuff.”

“It’s a combination of the two things, Li, and careless talk costs lives.” Patrick held his brother’s gaze.

“I’m not likely to go telling anyone. But you need to talk to someone. It’s me, your boss, or Pastor Jack. Pastor Jack’s first aid is useless. I’ve seen him in action on a church camp. And your boss would go down the personally involved route and take you off the case before you could count to three and you know it. I also know that’s the last thing you want. So I guess you’re left with me.”

Patrick sighed. He didn’t have a choice, but perhaps Liam would listen without condemning him. Something he wasn’t sure the others would do. “I will tell you only what does not relate to this ongoing investigation.”

“I promise, whatever you tell me will go in one ear and out the other.”

 

****

 

Sun streamed through the gap in the curtains. Patrick opened his eyes as Elle groaned. He smiled at her. “Feeling better?”

“No,” she whispered. “My head and stomach are killing me. What happened?”

“Garth spiked the punch. You were more than slightly drunk. We need to get some food and coffee into you.”

She looked green at the mere suggestion. “I don’t think I could eat anything and keep it down.”

“Not an option, I’m afraid.” He paused. “What exactly do you remember?”

She sat up gingerly. Color rushed to her face. “I…oh no. I’m so sorry. I think I threw myself at you.”

He hugged her. “It’s fine, Elle. I was flattered, but nothing happened.”

“I came onto you. What must you think of me?”

“Like I said, nothing happened. I got you into bed and you fell asleep. I spent the night over there, like I promised I would. I wasn’t going to take advantage of you.” He held out a hand. “Let’s go find you some coffee and toast.”

She groaned as he gently pulled her to her feet. “Stop the world. I want to get off.”

Downstairs, Patrick noted with satisfaction that Garth’s eye was bruised.

“What happened to him?” Elle asked.

“I hit him,” Patrick replied. “It’s sorted now.”

Garth brought over two mugs of coffee. “I’m sorry for spiking the punch. Everyone else is mad at me, too. If you want to go home, I understand.”

After breakfast, they took their books and found a secluded spot on the cliff top overlooking the bay. Patrick leaned against the huge tree, book balanced on his thighs.

“So why did you turn me down last night?” Eleanor gazed over her book at him.

“I told you, I wasn’t going to take advantage of you.”

“It’s not that you don’t fancy me then?”

“You know I do. I love you.”

She leaned forwards. “Good, because I love you, too.” She kissed him.

The books slid to the ground as Patrick wrapped his arms around her, kissing her back.

 

****

 

Patrick looked over the cup at Liam. “Anyway, she left midafternoon, without saying goodbye, and I caught the train home. But she just disappeared, didn’t come back after the Easter break. No one knew why.”

Liam sipped his coffee, not saying anything, just listening intently. Sometimes having a teacher for a brother was a blessing. He knew when to speak and when to listen and his advice was usually well thought out and made perfect sense.

Patrick sighed, gently flexing the fingers on his bandaged right hand. “She didn’t write or anything. I persuaded the college office to give me her address, but it came back person unknown. I never saw or heard from her again. Well, not until I ran into her in the library one afternoon a couple of weeks ago. But anyway, yeah, the dates fit.”

“That doesn’t mean Abbie is your daughter.” Liam put his empty cup down. “You need to talk to her, bro.”

Patrick shook his head. “I tried. The words brick and wall spring to mind.”

“You know, for someone with an IQ of a hundred and twenty, you have the brain power of a box of rocks at times.”

Confusion twisted within him, compounding the complex mix of emotions. “Rocks don’t have brains.”

“Exactly.”

“I don’t have time for your riddles,” he said bluntly.

Liam didn’t let up. “I know you are many things, Pi, but I didn’t think an idiot was one of them.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Think about it from her point of view. Right now she’s hurting. Abbie’s sick, her parents weren’t who she thought they were, some maniac is trying to kill her and you waltz back into her life after fourteen years. That’s a heck of a lot for anyone to cope with on a good day. I’m not sure I could manage one of them. Never mind all at the same time. Maybe Eleanor had a good reason for keeping quiet about being Abbie’s mum. You won’t know until you sit down with her and hash this out.”

“All right. I’ll go back and talk to her.”

“Good.” He grasped Patrick’s hands. “But first, we pray. You and I might not see a way out of this, but God will.”

“See that’s the other thing. She thinks she did something unforgivable.” Would that be she’s working for a drug dealer or would it be her involvement with me…and having Abbie? Or betraying me by seeing someone else at the same time “How do I convince her otherwise?” He paused. “And please don’t breathe a word of this to Ni or Jacqui, until all of this is sorted out. Or at least until I get a handle on things.”

Liam mimed locking his lips and throwing away the key. “Ask the Lord for the right words, bro. Let Him take control here and work all this for good.”

 

****

 

Eleanor sat in the intensive care unit, machines beeping and hissing around her. Abbie lay unresponsive on the bed, almost as pale as the sheets. She pushed her daughter’s hair back from her face. “I failed you, squirt,” she whispered. “I love you so much and all this time I let you down. I should have been stronger and never let any of this happen.”

The nurse sat down next to her. “Did you want to ask anything about what the doctor said?” she asked. “I know how confusing it can all be when the doctor is talking. Usually you think of things after he’s gone.”

“He said something about her liver. And he did a blood test on me to see if I was a match for something.”

“The CT scan they did showed a mass on her liver.”

“A…a lump? She’s been having pain for a while. I was going to take her to the doctors, but never got around to making the appointment.”

The nurse nodded. “The accident yesterday caused swelling around the mass hence the bleeding Abbie had this morning. They did a biopsy and the mass is benign, but there is a lot of damage. She needs a liver transplant. Actually, the accident probably saved her life.”

“Is that what the blood tests were for? To see if I’m a match?”

The nurse nodded. “Does Abbie have any brothers or sisters?”

“No, just me. Do you know why the mass is there?”

“No. We’ll probably never know what caused it, but it looked like it has been there for a very long time. She could have been born with it.”

“She was a sickly baby. Couldn’t tolerate rich foods. She never pees a lot when we go out, sometimes all day without going at all.” She paused. “Is it my fault? Did I do something wrong when I was pregnant? Take too many headache pills or not eat enough iron or folic acid?”

The nurse patted her hand. “No, it’s nothing you did. Main thing is we’ve caught it now and can do something about it.”

The machines beeped and for a moment the bed in front of her vanished and she was in another hospital room, surrounded by machines…

 

****

 

Sweat dripped down her face as pain wracked her body again. She’d refused pain killers, and gas and air. She had to pay for her sins. She cried out, barely aware of where she was. She wanted to go home, not be stuck in a hospital with only her mother and a midwife for company. Unless things went wrong, she wouldn’t see a doctor at all during the delivery, as per hospital policy.

“Push, Eleanor,” the midwife said.

“I…am…” She screamed as the wave intensified, never breaking, just going on and on.

“Almost there, one more.”

Stars floated in front of her eyes as with a final cry something broke inside her and the pressure eased. The cry of a newborn baby filled the air.

“It’s a girl. Congratulations. Do you have a name for her?” the midwife asked.

She’d agreed with her mother this baby would be brought up as her sister. No one would ever know the truth. But maybe she could name her, her one and only gift. She opened her mouth to speak.

Her mother silenced her with a glare. “Abigail,” she said. “Abigail Harrison.”

 

****

 

“Miss Harrison?”

The doctor’s voice jerked Eleanor out of the memory. Since Patrick had come back into her life, the flashbacks of memories long suppressed kept happening far too often for her liking. “Do you have the results?”

“I’m afraid you’re not a tissue match.”

“But I’m her mother.”

“You’re thinking blood type only. Abbie’s blood type is O positive. Although your blood type is O you’re rhesus negative. It wouldn’t have affected either of you. However, for any subsequent pregnancies you have will need to be monitored carefully for the Rhesus factor. It’s not as bad as it sounds. We can manage the condition fairly easily these days.”

“Oh…”

“If we could test Abbie’s father, it’s possible he’d be a match. Do you have contact with him? It might be quicker than waiting for her name to reach the top of the list for a transplant.”

“Yeah, I know where he is. I’ll ask him to take the test.”

“If you can get him to come in within the next hour, we’ll get the results back today.”

“OK.” She returned her gaze to Abbie. “I really messed up, squirt. And I can’t even pray for God to heal you because He won’t listen to me.” She closed her eyes. She had to tell Patrick the truth before she asked him to take the test.

Far from the truth setting her free, it would only serve to condemn her further.

 

****

 

Patrick crossed the ITU, and stood there not wanting to disturb her. “Hi.”

Elle glanced up, concern filling her eyes as she took in his bandaged hand. “What happened?”

He shrugged it off. “It’s nothing. I picked a fight with the gym equipment and lost. How is she?”

“Not good.”

He sat beside her, his left hand threading between her fingers. “What did the doctor say?”

“There’s a tumor in her liver.”

His eyes widened, his jaw dropped. His whole body resonated as if he were a clanging cymbal. “She has cancer?”

“No, they did a biopsy. It’s benign. But the accident caused damage, too.” She paused, taking a deep breath. “It’s time I told you the truth. She’s your daughter, Patrick.”

His face worked madly, his stomach churned, and chest hurt. “My daughter?” He wanted her to say it again.

“Yes,” she whispered. “Our daughter.”

Joy flooded him. He had a daughter. He was a father. Then his joy tempered slightly by the thought that Elle had lied to him, never mind hidden the fact for the last thirteen years. The anger he’d felt in the gym over her lying, seeped back into him. “Why didn’t you say anything? I asked several times and you brushed me off. Why tell me now?”

“Abbie doesn’t know. She thinks she’s my sister. She’s right about the secrets in my family, there are too many of them. The thing is Abbie’s dying. She needs a liver transplant as soon as possible.”

His heart stopped and his breath caught in his throat. Dying? The words stuck in his throat, adding fuel to the fire filling him. “So arrange it.”

“I’m not a match because I’m O negative. She’s O positive. They want to test you to see if you’re a match.”

“I’m a match, can tell you that without a blood test. Though I imagine they’ll need to tissue type me as well.” He narrowed his eyes. Now it was all so clear. “So the only reason you told me is because you want something.”

“No, I need…” She shook her head. Tears filled her eyes. “You can save her life, Patrick. Abbie needs you.”

“I need to think about this.”

“Patrick? She’s dying! What is there to think about?”

He got to his feet and pushed a hand through her hair. So conflicted he didn’t know what to do or think or say. “Not about the transplant, Eleanor. About you. Shay’s outside. I’ll be back in a bit.”

She reached out to him, but he evaded her touch. “Patrick, please, don’t go.”

Lord, God, what do I do? I need to think, need time to get my head around this.

“I need to ring the office and speak to Abbie’s doctor. I’ll be back.” Biting his lip, he headed to the door. He glanced over his shoulder. Elle sat on the edge of the chair, her face buried in her hands. For a moment he almost went back and hugged her. But he was too angry. She didn’t need his anger or his feelings of betrayal right now. He turned away, almost bumping into the doctor. “Elle said you wanted to do a blood test. To see if I’d be a match for the transplant Abbie needs.”

“Are you Abbie’s father?”

“Apparently,” Patrick muttered. “Would a blood test prove that one way or the other?”

The doctor looked at him quizzically. “It would help, but there are other, more conclusive ones. Why?”

“It’s a long story. Do the blood tests and whatever DNA test you need to prove it.”

“I’ll need to speak to Miss Harrison…”

Patrick sighed. He pulled out his ID. As much as he hated doing it, sometimes pulling rank was necessary. “National security, doctor. Just hurry on the results.”

“OK. Come with me and we’ll do them now.”

“I just need to make a phone call. Then I’m all yours.”