Question 15

How does Self-Esteem Relate to Close Relationship Dynamics?

This set of essays examines self-esteem dynamics within close relationships. As a group, they leave little doubt about the importance of self-esteem in close relationships.

Murray writes about the nature of relationship contingencies and their consequences. She first describes situations that highlight various risks that occur in close relationships. Next, she describes how being secure in one’s partner’s positive regard allows people to put their relationship ahead of self-protection. Unfortunately, as revealed in Murray’s research, the doubts of low self-esteem individuals have some adverse consequences. She concludes her essay by suggesting conditions that may make it easier for individuals with low self-esteem to be more optimistic.

Baldwin suggests that self-esteem dynamics inextricably intertwine with relationship dynamics, even though the connections may not be apparent or conscious. As he notes, “Self-esteem feelings arise from a host of evaluative procedures and expectations, and these are for the most part learned and then maintained in the context of close relationships.” Baldwin describes these dynamics within parent-child relationships and in relationships more broadly. In addition, Baldwin discusses his research on the operation of relational schemas and their implications for self-esteem processes.

Berenson and Downey discuss the overlap between low self-esteem and high rejection sensitivity. For example, both are associated with increased readiness to perceive and react to cues of potential rejection by others. However, Berenson and Downey suggest that the nature of their insecurities and motivations may be different. For individuals with low self-esteem, the concern over rejection lies in the message it communicates about their worth or competence. In contrast, for individuals high in rejection sensitivity, rejection raises concerns about the availability of others’ care in time of need.