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The wagon is light without all the jugs we would have needed so it only takes a few minutes to get it down the front stairs to the street. The three of us move quickly down the lane past the few deserted homes that are left standing. Once we reach the intersection, we turn left towards the main part of town. It’s an easy twenty-minute walk to the station but every moment that slips by, the sun is rising in the sky ratcheting up the temperature. I don’t look to the sides where empty homes sit, some burnt down, some falling down - but most are just empty.
When I was younger than Glo, there were more people that lived here. Now it just feels like a shell of a town. Abuela says that the climate here has always been hot but livable when there was something called air-conditioning. When the sun started its temper tantrum, as she calls it, and made the whole world hotter, people fled to the north where the temperatures were more manageable. She says that’s where Mama went, but with the wall they built to keep out the refugees, I don’t know why she bothered. I can only be grateful that it isn’t summer or we would be going to the station in the dark. The temperatures we have now in the winter months are what the summer months used to be. Summer temperatures now are unbearable during the daylight hours and we can only be outside at night. We sleep during the day down in our basement where it’s a few degrees cooler. I hate those four months of the year.
We reach the street that Maria and her family live on and turn onto it. There is more life here, more people. Many families moved into the abandoned houses closer to the stations so they wouldn’t have as far to walk to get the meager supplies and water the government still hands out. There are a few kids playing in the dry dirt in front of a house halfway down the street. One of them pops to her feet and barrels toward us.
“Glo, Glo, GLO!” She shouts with childish glee before crashing into my small sister. Thin arms with sharp elbows wrap around each other as they dance in place.
“Maria Elena! You will break that child in two!”
I pull my eyes from my sister’s beaming face to see Maria’s mother standing on the stoop.
“Silvia! How are you?” Abuela calls out as we walk towards her.
Silvia takes in the wagon I’m pulling and frowns. “Bonita, it’s good to see you out and about. It’s been months, I was worried about you.”
My grandmother laughs. “You are too kind. We are just fine but hoping we can impose on you.”
Silvia waves her words away. “It’s never an imposition to have Gloria here. She will occupy these monsters for a few hours and keep them out of my hair!” She glances at the wagon again and bites her lip.
“You are going to the station, yes?” When we nod, she shoos the children away to the back yard. Gloria runs with them without a backward glance at us.
“There are armed guards there now to keep control but once out of the square, there are animals just waiting to take people’s rations from them. You must be very careful once you leave the square. Two women alone would make a tempting target for them. I wish I could send Juan with you but he’s found some work and won’t be back until after sunset.”
Abuela keeps a smile on her face as she nods in understanding. “We will be just fine, Silvia. Thank you for watching Gloria and for the warning.”
Silvia opens her mouth to say more but changes her mind and just nods in understanding. She knows that everything is a risk now and we all must take them to keep living.
I glance back when we get to the end of her street and see that she is still watching us so I raise my hand in a short wave before turning the corner. If this day goes bad, at least Gloria will be with good people who will watch over her.
The closer we get to the main square where the stations are the more nervous I become. The last time we were here the noise was overwhelming. People were yelling, screaming and crying as the mob took control. Now I hear nothing and the silence feels ominous to me. I glance over at Abuela but she has a determined expression that she’s fixed firmly ahead. The way she keeps clutching and releasing the strap of her bag tells me she’s just as nervous as I am.
The first block we pass, we don’t see anyone except a few curtains shifting as people look out. It’s the second block that has me tensing up. We’ve moved from residential to the commercial area and there are men lounging in doorways and on steps. They watch us go by like a hawk watches his prey. They know we have nothing of value they want yet but the return trip with the rations will be a different story.
We’ve almost reached the square when a voice rings out that has me gritting my teeth and clenching my fists.
“Hey, Indigo? Where have you been hiding? I miss seeing those eyes, Chica!”
As my grandmother and I share the same distinct eye color, we both turn our heads to the voice. Neither of us happy to hear it.
Sitting on the stoop of an abandoned flower shop, surrounded by men, is one of the worst people this town has to offer - Boyd Baker. Before school was shut down seven years ago, I was in the same grade as his younger brother, Beckam. We were friends for a few years. I liked how quiet he was and how he loved to read as much as I did. That all came to stop one day when his big brother was bullying him and I tried to intervene. All I got for my efforts was some scrapes and bruises when Boyd shoved me to the ground and Beck never speaking to me again.
We turned our heads away from the group and kept on walking. But my feet slam to a stop when Boyd yells out, “We’ll see if you want to talk when you head back this way with something more interesting!”
I turn my body slowly until I’m facing him and tilt my head slightly to the side while meeting his smirking eyes.
“Does that mean you’re going to attack us? Steal the little bit of food an old lady and two young girls need to live on?” I keep my tone even - like I’m really curious to know if that’s his plan. When I see the smirk slowly leave his face, I hit him with a parting shot. “Cause if that’s what’s in store for us, I can just bring Gloria over right now for you to kill. It would be much faster that way.”
I don’t show the satisfaction I feel when he looks away with a wave of his hand for us to carry on. Inside though, I’m happy my words hit the mark. I’ve known from an early age that facing a bully down is always better than waiting for them to strike. Abuela pulls at my arm to get me moving again but doesn’t speak until we are almost at the end of the block.
“Día, you make me so proud and terrified all at the same time! That was a huge risk you just took.”
I drape my arm around her shoulders as we enter the square. “Just breathing is a risk these days.”
The sight that greets us in the square is so far from what was here the last time. Two lines of beaten down people on opposite sides of the square await us. No one is speaking and all eyes are cast down to the dusty stones. It’s not hard to see why, with the soldiers standing guard along each line with huge guns. I’m distracted by the sight of them so I don’t see what’s right in front of us and almost trip when Abuela comes to an abrupt stop.
“State your business here!” A deep voice barks.
There’s a pair of soldiers blocking our way. I’m so startled that instinctively I look behind me for a place to run. That’s why I see Boyd’s group of men pull a guy carrying a ration box and a jug of water into the closest alleyway. I guess his family won’t be eating tonight.
“Día! Show these nice men our ration cards so we can line up!”
I turn my head back around and fumble for the cards in my front pocket. My hand only trembles slightly when I hand them over. One of them snatches the cards from my hand and scans them before hitting me with a piercing glare.
“Why do you have three? Did you steal one of these?”
I’m shaking my head in denial but Abuela is already speaking in soothing tones to him.
“No, no, my small granddaughter. She is too little to stand in the sun all day. I didn’t feel it was safe for her to come. See, see on the card? She is just a small girl.”
He stares her down but she just gives a pleasant smile back so he finally shrugs and hands all the cards back to me and motions with his gun for us to enter the square. I let out a breath I didn’t even know I was holding in as we rush past them and join the ration line on the west side of the square.
Once we are in place, I take a better look around at both lines. It’s a sad sight. There are less than half of the people that were here the last time and the ones that are left look more like the old-world make-believe zombies than real people. Everyone shuffles forward as the lines move but no one makes eye contact or speaks to anyone else. I take a closer look at the soldiers but they all look relaxed and bored. There’s not much else to do or see so I just zone out and make a list in my head of all the things I need to get done back at the house.
We shuffle along with everyone else but I’m pleased to see we are close to the front of the line after only an hour and a half. That’s less than half the time it used to take. I’ve still sweated through most of my shirt but I’m grateful there was no wind today to pelt us with dust. Abuela says we are acclimatized to the heat from being born into it but I don’t feel like I’m used to it. When we reach the table, an impatient man barely looks at us as he swipes the ration cards from my hand. Once he has swiped them in his fancy machine though, he pauses and looks closer at it before giving us a better look over.
“You haven’t gotten rations for over thirty days? It says you’re due quite a lot here! I can’t give all that to you today!”
Abuela gives him a reassuring smile. “No, no señor, of course not! We would be most grateful for anything you can spare for us today.”
He looks at her and then me for a moment before his shoulders slump.
“You also have a child at home to feed?” At our nods, he looks back at the line behind us and then at the soldiers. “Ok, give me your wagon. Push it under the table...discreetly!”
I’m confused but I do as he says. We wait as he pulls it with him behind a temporary screen barrier. Usually, they just hand us our three small boxes and we walk away so this is very strange. I glance at Abuela with a raised eyebrow but she gives a tiny shake of her head so I stay silent.
When he returns, I catch a glimpse of the wagon but its bed is covered with some kind of burlap sack so I can’t see what’s inside of it. He pushes it back under the table towards us but then also hands us the standard ration boxes from under his arm. As Abuela reaches for hers, he leans in towards her and whispers urgently.
“You must make this last!” He glances around again. “Do you understand?” Her eyes go wide but she gives him a slow, grim nod so he releases the box to her but speaks again. “Wait for a bigger group to leave the square first then follow them. Do you understand?” Again, she nods her head so he pulls back with a muttered, “Good luck.”
We turn away from the table and he waits until we’ve moved five feet away before calling for the next in line. It’s then that I remember he didn’t return our ration cards so I turn to go back but Abuela’s hand snakes out and stops me with a painful grip on my wrist.
“Our cards...” I say but she cuts me off.
“Leave them, they are useless to us now.”
I want to argue but she pulls me further away from the table to the middle of the square.
“Día, you need to trust me and keep your questions until we get home!” When I nod my head with confusion, she releases my wrist and pats my arm. “Now, which way shall we go? Back towards the devil we know or face the unknown?”
I scan the four exits to the square but they all look the same to me. She’s asking if we should chance Boyd’s group and hope they don’t rob us or go a different way. I’m guessing that there are predators waiting at every exit but right now there is a group of six heading out of the square where we came in, so safety in numbers might be the best way to go. I point that way and lift the wagon handle to get it moving. It’s much heavier than when we came here and I can’t wait to get a look inside to see what’s causing the weight, but we must get to safety first.
We hustle to catch up to the group ahead of us but they are a good twenty feet further along by the time we reach the soldiers at the exit. My head spins towards them when I hear one of them say, “Last day of this B.S.”
I don’t stop to ask questions because Abuela is moving faster than a woman her age should be able too. She’s closed the distance to fifteen feet from the group when she slows right down. I crane my head to see why and a cold shiver runs down my sweat-soaked back. Boyd’s group of men are standing in a line blocking the sidewalk and part of the road. The larger group ahead of us pushes forward but it’s clear to me there will be a confrontation. Abuela is now by my side and she takes a hold of the wagon handle with me and starts to guide us across the street. Boyd and his men are now trying to push the group of six down an alleyway but they are pushing back. Most eyes are on them but a couple of his goons start our way when we reach the opposite sidewalk and start to pass them.
I don’t know how to play this except to move faster. Abuela has left me to pull the wagon on my own and is fumbling with her messenger bag when I hear a different voice call out.
“Marco, Peter, back up my brother!”
I shoot a look to the confrontation that has turned into a mini brawl before looking for the voice that called out. My eyes lock onto Beck’s and he holds my stare for a moment before jutting his chin down the road. He’s letting us go. I don’t thank him or smile at him, just drop my chin and heave the wagon forward and away. I’m grateful to him for letting us by but that doesn’t make him a hero. What he and his brother are doing to the people of this town is monstrous. One good deed doesn’t redeem him.