TWO
I GOT TO my parents’ house earlier than I thought.
“Morning, Daddy.”
“What brings you to me this early in the day?”
“Just wanted to talk for a few minutes.”
“Glad you did. I worry for you, girl. You are not looking well the past few weeks.”
“What do the doctors say about you, Daddy?”
“I’ll be fine when it is time for me to be so. They are still trying to decide on the need for another surgery. I tell them I am fine, but they choose not to believe me.”
“They don’t question your abilities, Daddy. They question your comfort.”
“That’s the whole of it. I will never be comfortable again.” A sad look washed over him.
When it happens, it breaks my heart.
I almost chickened out.
“What is it that is on your mind, Cara?”
When he used my real name, instead of a pet name, it all came flooding out. I told him how sad I had been since Mom died. That I hadn’t been taking proper care of myself. That I’d lost the baby. Our first baby. And that I had never been so sad in all my life.
He held me for a few minutes, then said, “You look just as your mother did in the days after she lost a child.”
I knew in the back of my mind that my mother had lost a child, but I’d been so self-centered the last couple of days, I hadn’t stopped to consider I would be bringing back that loss to my father so soon after he’d lost my mother. I’m such an idiot.
“I’m glad you told me, girl.”
“I’m sorry to bring even more to your door, Daddy.”
“Don’t be silly. I’m glad you came to talk. I’m glad you trust me with your heart, just as your mother did.”
That did it. I lost my mind. Cried as hard as I have ever cried.
But it was good.
You know how sometimes you cry, and you feel like it just leaves you empty? I’ve been crying that cry for a while now. This cry was different. This cry filled me up. This cry was one of healing, not complete loss.
“It’s been a rough time for you and me, that it has, but your mother wouldn’t want the two of us to wallow. That was never her way. When she lost the wee one, it fully broke her heart, as it did mine, but she was so sure the babe would be with all those your mother had lost and loved. Cara, darlin’, that baby is in your mother’s arms. I can feel it.”
“Do you really believe that, Daddy?”
“I do.”
“You know, I’m not as religious as you and Mom.”
“It has not a thing to do with religion, girl. It is about faith.”
“I have a lot of faith.”
“As do I.”
“I’m just not always sure what I have faith in.”
“I have faith in your mother, Cara. If there is a life after, I am certain she is taking care of that little one. Smiling just as she did when you were a babe.”
When I could talk again, I said, “Thank you, Daddy. That really does help.”
“It is a help for me, too. Your mother won’t be so lonely till I get there.”
It was a day for crying.
“Daddy? Have you decided if you want to do some kind of service?”
“I have decided not to do another one. Had I been fated to be there, I would have been, but I would like to do something a little bit different. I hope your mother would approve.”
“What would you like to do?”
“I’d like to have dinner, Sunday night. Here at the house. I’d like all of you to attend. Have you girls fix all of your mother’s favorites. When dinner is done, I’d like to sit ’round the table and have a cup.”
“We can do that.”
“It’s not too soon? I don’t want to bring it all back to the surface for the lot of you.”
“Daddy, it’s on the surface already, and always will be.”
“Will you make the calls?”
“I’d be happy to.”
I called everyone and asked them to be at dinner Sunday. I also asked them to be at my apartment on Saturday night. And to bring their children. I have a project for everyone to do.
I stopped at the big box store and bought Kleenex.
Eight boxes wrapped together.
I doubted it would be enough.
A.J. met me for my follow-up doctor appointment.
They said the things that doctors say.
Nature takes over sometimes.
No reason to believe it will happen again.
Nothing I did caused it.
Nothing I could have done to stop it.
According to the reports the hospital sent over, I wasn’t as far along as I thought when I first heard about it.
If it happens again, they might suggest genetic testing, but the reality is, although it’s devastating to us, it’s just one of those things. Actually, my doctor was very gracious, and she was kind and had all the right words. Problem was I didn’t have ears to hear them.
She told me not to get pregnant again for a while.
She gave me a handout and told me to be gentle with myself and call her if I needed anything at all.
A.J. seemed so relieved that I would be okay.
It made my heart smile a little bit.
I needed that.
Joy called me. It completely confused me at first. Then it dawned on me that I’d told her to call anytime about anything. Teagan and Jessie and Jessie’s baby momma needed to learn to deal with each other, but until that happened, I’m glad Joy reached out to someone in the O’Flynn clan.
It just seemed like the wrong time.
She asked if we could meet.
I told her I’d been unwell, and she was welcome to come to my apartment, but I didn’t think I could go anywhere. The visit to Daddy’s house and the doctor’s office had worn me out.
The notion that I was already calling it Daddy’s house, not “my parents’ house” about killed me.
“I don’t really want Joynessa ’round any germs, so maybe I’d better just wait until you feel better.”
“Oh, I’m not contagious. I’m sorry. I’m not making a lot of sense right now.” I went ahead and explained all that had happened in the last day and a half. It felt good to pour out my soul to a stranger. To talk to someone I didn’t feel like I was burdening because there was no emotional entanglement there.
I also didn’t want her to think that I was blowing her off over something unimportant. It probably took a lot for her to get up the nerve to call me.
She was so upset for me.
She actually cried for us.
Maybe she’s not so bad after all.
“Do you need anything? Can I bring you anything at all?”
“I’m fine. What is it that you wanted to talk about, Joy?”
“Oh, nothing important. Nothing that can’t wait until you’re on your feet again.”
“I’m one of those people that actually feels better if there’s something I can do to help. Why don’t you tell me what’s going on? And I’ll let you know if it’s something I can work with now or something that might be better to wait a little bit.”
“It’s totally selfish.” There was a short pause, like she was trying to figure out what to say next. “I don’t like your sister.” Even over the phone, I could feel her try to take those words back.
I let out a little bit of a chuckle. “She can be an acquired taste.”
“That didn’t come out right. It’s just that your sister and I…” She took a breath and started again. “Your sister has everything that I thought was mine. She has Jessie. They’re building a life. Ya know?”
“I understand that’s hard to watch. My mother would say the fact that Jessie is with Teagan tells you he was not right for you, and someone much better will come along.”
“Yeah, well, I don’t want to say anything negative about your mom. She probably even believes that.”
“Yes, she did. But that’s not why you called. What’s going on?”
“When you came to my apartment, you said if there was anything you could do to make all this easier, you would do it. I know I shouldn’t try to put you in the middle, but I was gonna ask if you would be my middle person.”
“Middle person?”
“Until we all get used to everything, if you could kind of be a buffer between me and your sister and Jessie.”
“I could do that.”
“I don’t want to come between you and your sister or anything.”
“Nothing and no one could come between me and my sister. You don’t have to worry about that.” I wanted her to know up front that if this was a setup to try to cause family drama, it wasn’t going to work.
“I was just kind of hoping that we could each talk to you instead of each other. Every time I hear her voice, I want to punch something.”
“Been there, done that.”
Joy laughed. “And every time I hear Jessie’s voice, I cry. That isn’t healthy, and I don’t want Joynessa to see that kind of shit. Or to pick up on the stress and have it mess her up.”
“I think that’s very smart. I think calling me was a good decision. Of course, it could be I’m just a little conceited, but I’m okay with that.”
She chuckled. “You really made this easy for me, Cara.”
“Good. Have you figured out how you want this to work?”
“Not really. I just figured if I needed to tell them something, I’d call you, and if they needed to tell me something, they would ask you to call me.”
“I’ll talk to them and see what they say.”
“Cara, I don’t want to start off sounding like a bitch, but this isn’t negotiable on their part. If you wanted to say no, I fully understand. But they don’t get to say no. I think I’m being reasonable. You’re being more than reasonable. If they don’t like it, then we’re just gonna have to let the courts figure it out.”
“I’ll pass that along. Joy, I’m good at being a neutral buffer. That’s pretty much what I do for a living. I’m not gonna take sides in this stuff. But I also feel like I need to tell you that if I am ever forced to take sides, it isn’t going to be your side.”
“Yeah, I figured you would side with your sister.”
“It isn’t going to be her side either.”
“What?”
“I will always side with Joynessa. Whatever I think is best for her — that’s what I’ll do.”
“No mother could find fault with that.”
“Easy to say, but hard to live by.”
“I can see that.”
“Joy?”
“Yeah?”
“I really appreciate you calling me and making an effort to do what is right for Joynessa. I have a lot of respect for that.”
“Thanks. I gotta go. She needs a bath, and I got laundry to do.”
“Okay. I’ll talk to Teagan and Jessie and get back to you.”
I took a nap. All the crying and all the physical stuff had really wiped me out.
A.J. refused to leave my side.
I kept telling him I was fine, and I knew he had work to do, but he wouldn’t leave.
I’ll always be grateful for that.
He was sitting on the couch, staring into space, when I came out into the living room from my shower. I take the world’s fastest showers, but they still relax me, and I needed a little relaxation.
“How you feeling?” he asked.
“I’m okay. Can’t turn my brain off. How about you?”
“You want to run away from home?”
“What?”
“That’s what you called it when you and Teagan went on the cruise. And when you went to Texas. You want to run away from home with me?”
“Where?”
“Anywhere. Just a little time to spend with you and me and nothing else and nobody else. Somewhere where nobody knows us.”
“I’d love to. When?”
“Soon. I can move everything around at work. What about you?”
“Adeline is really generous about that kind of thing. About everything, really.” I was feeling better by the moment. “I can leave in an hour.” I couldn’t help but smile.
“How about Monday morning? After you do that thing for your Dad?”
“That would be perfect. Sharing memories on Sunday night, making new ones on Monday. My mom would love that. I love you. Thank you for thinking of it.”
We snuggled on the couch. We didn’t talk. Didn’t turn on the TV. Just sat.
It was a good thing.
I called to ask Adeline if I could take a few days off. I told her A.J. and I wanted to run away from home. She thought that was a great idea and wanted to know where we were going.
“Somewhere that nobody knows us, and we don’t have any obligations. Just me and A.J.”
“Would you do me the honor of allowing me to plan your getaway?”
“What? Adeline, I didn’t call to ask you to do that. I just wanted to know if it was okay for me to leave for a few days. I’m all caught up on work. I’ll bring my work phone and laptop in case you need anything.”
“You will do no such thing. Do you and your young man have any preferences as to where you would like to go?”
“Not really.”
“When would you like to leave?”
“We thought Monday morning. We’re having kind of a family memory night for my mother on Sunday. Just dinner at my dad’s house, really.” Why did my heart skip a beat every time I said it was my dad’s house instead of my parents’ house? That adjustment came way too fast.
“If you will allow me the pleasure, I’ll make all the arrangements for your little getaway. Please allow me to do this, Cara.”
How can you say no to your boss? “Thank you. Adeline, we don’t need anything fancy. We thought we’d just drive for a while, see where we ended up, get a hotel room, and veg.”
“I think we can do slightly better than that. You leave it all to me.” With that, she was gone.
What just happened?
On the one hand, Adeline taking over my vacation plans was totally weird and inappropriate. On the other hand, she has been so good to me, and she is just trying to help, and I don’t want to lose my job. It also comes with the benefit that I don’t have to think about it. All I have to do is explain it to A.J. and let Adeline’s people do all the planning. I’m sure she will just call somebody and tell them to pick out a place for us to go. Maybe Orlando. Saint Augustine? Miami? There are so many great places in Florida. I have nothing to worry about.
When I told A.J. that Adeline had taken over the planning of our mini vacation, he was a good sport.
I don’t think it’ll turn out quite the way we’d planned, but at least we’ll get away for a few days, and that’s the important part.
Not sure which of us I am trying to convince with that line of thought, but I’m sticking to it.
We moved the family meeting Saturday night from my apartment over to Teagan and Jessie’s new house. To say they have a lot more space would be as much of an understatement as saying that I’m a little bit jealous of the kitchen. Really, people that don’t cook should not be allowed to have beautiful kitchens. It’s just not right.
I got there about a half hour early and set things out. At first we were going to do it all in the backyard, but if the kids get carried away with glitter and that ends up in the pool, I’m not even sure how you would get that out. We decided on the breakfast nook for the kids; when they’re done, we’ll hose them down if necessary, then stick them in front of a television with snacks and a kid-friendly movie. I know it’s bad form to have a television babysit your kids, but considering the circumstances, I’m sure God and my mother will excuse us this once. Then the adults will do their thing.
Everybody showed up on time. A minor miracle. Seamus is usually really late.
Seeing Valerie and Sinead, both looking like the healthiest mothers-to-be that were ever blessed to be put on this planet, just about killed me.
Teagan saw the look on my face and came over and gave me a side hug.
I’m sure everyone else assumed I was still just being me, and it was all about Mom. At some point, I’ll tell everybody, but I don’t want to do that right now.
The kids were in charge of creating a memory box. They could make one of their own, or they could all make one together. We told them that we were going to put our very best memories of Grandma in there, and the box would live over at Grandpa’s house. They got excited when they heard they could decorate it any way they wanted.
By the time they were done, it was a multi-media masterpiece. It was mostly Jordan’s doing, he being the oldest and most artistic, but he was careful to include the little ones.
There were pictures of my mom and handprints in paint and just a little sparkle. There were shamrocks — not four-leaf clovers, even the kids know the difference — and lots of smiles and a butterfly that Jordan explained was my mother in her new form.
That about killed me.
When the kids were done and in front of the television, the adults took over.
After some discussion, we decided that our approach would be to write down a little bit of a story about Mom that made us smile. On the other side of the paper, we would write our name. In that way, we could ask the person about the story if we were unfamiliar with it. We decided we wouldn’t write out the whole story, because it would take forever, but promised at some point in the near (to almost near) future, we would take the time to write all the stories so that Mom’s “voice” would never be lost. We want all the kids to know her. Even those that are not old enough to remember, or those not born yet.
I figured it would take us about an hour. Maybe an hour and a half. How long does it take to write a few words about stories we have all heard a million times? Turned out that there were lots of stories we hadn’t heard about. Some of them we talked about; some we said we’d wait on.
A.J. and I were the last ones to leave, but only by about ten minutes.
We walked in the door of our apartment a little past four in the morning.
I was so exhausted, but I felt like Mom had been there, and she knew how much we all love her.
I slept better than I’ve slept in such a long time.
We got to Daddy’s early in the afternoon. “We” being the women of the family. We were the first shift. The husbands and kids would join us after we got all the cooking done. I know that sounds forty-seven kinds of chauvinistic, but the truth is, with that many people in one smallish house, it’s just easier not to have everybody underfoot.
Daddy had the potatoes peeled and sitting in two big pots on the counter. We’d decided the night before that today was a day of celebrating our mother, and there was no way in the world I was going to allow anything or anybody to be less than one hundred percent involved, so it made me smile that Daddy had done that.
It probably took him five times as long as it would have taken me, but he was pleased with himself, so I was pleased.
We spent the next few hours cooking. All the girls acting the fool. Daddy laughing a lot. It was heartbreaking and heartwarming all at the same time, and when I wasn’t laughing until I cried, I wanted to cry just the same.
By the time the rest of the family showed up, we had the food cooked and ready to serve, and the table set with my mother’s favorite dishes. We had the little kids’ table set up. It is a kid-sized table that my mom has had forever. Kid-sized everything is on there, and we always tape a big white sheet of paper — several layers — on the top and give each child four crayons of different colors. The reason for the different colors? If a child decides to color on another child’s picture, we can see who did what to whom, and it also encourages negotiating and working together.
My mother always had a good reason for everything she did. Everything was a lesson. No matter how subtle or simple. I’m not sure I recognized that until very recently.
Dinner was good.
Dessert was, too.
When the kitchen was finally clean, we all settled in for a last cup of tea.
Jordan, followed by all the short people, gave my dad the memory box.
“Grandpa, this is from everybody. When you are missing Grandma, you can take out a story, and it will bring Grandma right here to you.”
He said it so sincerely and innocently. I lost my damn mind.
Jordan melted into my dad’s arms. I heard Daddy say, “Thank you, give us a kiss.” They cried together. It was great — in a family bonding kind of way. Little kids always bring a lot more comfort than an adult ever could.
After we calmed down, molesting mom’s good napkins in the process — I didn’t think to put out Kleenex — Daddy asked the parents to get the kids settled in the other room.
This was gonna hurt.
I wasn’t sure what he was going to say or do, but if it couldn’t be said or done in front of the kids, it was gonna hurt.
When we were all settled again, this time with lots of Kleenex, Daddy took a deep breath and asked us to tell him about Mom’s funeral. As we started around the table, each telling a detail or two, and then jumping from person to person, adding details, it reminded me of when we were kids. I don’t think a single O’Flynn has ever told an O’Flynn story. They must all be told by all of us.
Seamus told of the arrangements. He explained how the funeral home pretty much knew what Mom would want. We’ve done so many funerals from there. At first, they had Mom in one of the medium-sized viewing rooms, but they had to move her to the big room by the time the actual Rosary was started. Actually, they’d had to open the room up.
Usually, there is a sliding divider that cuts the room into two smaller rooms. There were enough people at the Rosary that they had to open it up. Often these days, people don’t even show up to a Rosary. I don’t know what other people do, but the O’Flynns show up. Always. We troop in. We try to sit as close to the back as possible. We kneel, and we say the Rosary. We wait until everyone else has made their way up for the viewing, and then we make a quick appearance in the “sympathy line” as Sinead calls it. The line of family members that are too numb to really remember what you say.
The fact that there was a standing-room-only crowd there made Daddy smile.
Troya explained how there were people from all over the place. Some had come from other states. There were even a couple of people we didn’t really know. They had been friends of Mom and Daddy before they were married. A couple came from Miami, and another couple came from Atlanta. Seamus had made sure they were comfortable and had appropriate accommodations.
Liam’s voice was so broken. That’s the only way I can describe it. He said how pretty Mom looked. That Teagan and I had done a great job. My father hadn’t realized we’d done Mom’s makeup and hair. How could he think we would let someone else do it when our whole lives Mom had told us of that tradition? The look on his face when he thanked us just about killed me.
Sinead told of all the friends who had shown up. Not Mom and Daddy’s friends, but our friends. And not because they were there to support us. They were there because they truly loved Mom and wanted to be there with the family. After the Rosary, for more than half an hour, one after the next stood to say something about Mom.
One girl mentioned how she had turned to Mom when she was being abused at home. Mom was able to discreetly take care of the problem. After quiet negotiations, the girl was moved to live with her aunt. She had gone from suicidal to an honor student and graduated college with a Ph.D. and a calling. She’s now overseeing an organization that helps young people out of situations like the one Mom had saved her from.
Rory asked if Daddy remembered Eric from down the street. We all thought his mom had a drinking problem, but nobody in the neighborhood really did anything about it. Well, it turns out, Mom did. He stood up and said that in the overall scheme of things, it might not sound like a big deal, but Mom used to comb his hair. He would hit our house right after we’d leave for school in the morning, and Mom would comb his hair and make sure he was “presentable.” It was their secret. He was in kindergarten and then in first grade. Until Mom stepped in, kids had made fun of him, and he was a miserable little boy. He was angry and mean. Once Mom took an interest in him and made sure he looked okay and had something on his stomach every morning, his life got better, and he was grateful. He said the three to five minutes Mom invested in him every morning for two years completely changed his life. By the time he got to second grade, he could get himself ready, but if he was hungry, he knew he could just knock on the door. Mom never made him feel like an unfortunate kid. She was always excited to see him and asked how he was. The food or whatever he needed was secondary to his visit. When he got a little bit older and was afraid to cross the big street in the fog, Mom would let the phone ring one time to let him know that we were about to leave. He would wander out and cross with us. We never knew. We just figured he happened to hit the street the same time we did. Some days, he’d walk all the way to school with us. Some days, he would turn right on Blanden and walk by himself. We figured he was meeting a friend. At the service, he said he was quite sure if Mom hadn’t stepped in, he’d be in prison. Instead, his company has an outreach program for high-risk kids.
Another woman stood up and said that she didn’t have a great story, no huge accomplishments, but she wanted everyone to know that knowing Mom had simply made her life better.
I told Daddy about Mom’s eulogy. That I wasn’t sure it was enough, but it was all I could do. He reassured me.
We told Daddy about the funeral and what a great job Billy had done. He’s known Mom his whole life, so it was a very personalized service. He spoke of Mom in loving terms and knew just what she would like. Although he’d broken down a couple of times, the service was perfect. Billy had also done the Rosary the previous night, and he’d said something really meaningful and beautiful at each decade.
We shared the special things we’d put in with Mom for the services. I’d placed her favorite teacup. The kids did drawings. When Daddy asked what happened to the items, not a one of us knew. We’d have to check on that.
It took a while and lots of tears, especially when we were talking about the wake, but we got through it.
Daddy took a really deep breath. It was obvious he wanted to say something. It was equally obvious that none of us were ready to hear it.
When my father is really upset about something, his voice cracks. If his voice cracks, what little is left of my heart is going to be so pulverized, there isn’t going to be anything left.
I could tell there would be lots of voice cracking, because he was clearing his throat before he ever started.
“I was going to carry this with me until the grave, but I have decided to share it with you kids.”
This isn’t going to be good.
I took a deep breath and tried to prepare. For what, I wasn’t sure.
A.J. grabbed my hand under the table.
“Your mother did not pass instantly as you were told. Nor did I lose consciousness at the onset. We had just a moment, she and I.”
Nobody said a word, but the sound of Kleenex being pulled from the boxes could be heard along with the faint sound of a television in the other room. The kids were laughing.
“When the car hit us, it hit your mother’s side of our vehicle. There was such confusion. The airbags exploded. The sound of all that metal. It took a moment to determine that we had been in a wreck.”
I could hear Sinead sob softly. Daddy’s face was serene and pained at the same time. He looked as if he were reliving it, but with the advantage of a little time and space. He kept talking.
“When the car came to rest, it was a miracle, but your mother had been pushed right into my arms. Where she has always belonged.” Daddy took another deep breath.
I wanted to tell him that he could stop. He didn’t have to tell us. It was between him and Mom. At the same time, he had decided to tell us, and who was I to try to stop him?
“I said to her, ‘We will be alright, love.’ With such a weak voice, she said to me, ‘No, no, I won’t stay. It has been a grand life. With you, and by you, every single one of my wishes has come true. I have laughed far more than I have cried, and when I cried, you were there to hold me. You were and are my greatest gift.’ And then she was gone. There was no need for me to stay awake then. I had seen the life lift right out of her. I allowed myself to go unconscious. I hoped she would take me with her. But as you can see, she did not.”
He had a faraway look in his eye and a bit of a crooked grin on his face. “Your mother’s wish is that I stay here and live with the lot of you. I will honor that wish the rest of my days. Shall we raise a cup, to your mother?”
Seamus stood. “I will miss Mom every day for the rest of my life. I am so very blessed.”
We went round the table.
I’m not sure what Valerie said, she was crying so hard it didn’t make much sense, but the gist of it was that when she married into the family, Mom made her feel as if it was the family’s good fortune, instead of the other way around. That Mom was her mother, her mother-in-law, and her friend.
Sinead’s comments might have been the most difficult to hear. She is the youngest. The one we always tried to protect. She said she felt blessed Mom had been at her wedding and cheated because she would not meet the baby. That she would depend on all of us to help her teach the baby everything Mom would have taught him or her.
Howard — Sinead’s husband — was eloquent. I can’t do it justice, but he said he hadn’t known Mom long, but he felt as if he knew her well. He said when they had been introduced, he was worried how she would feel about his long hair and his tattoos. She was brilliant. Her smile lit up the room. Her comment was that she loved a young man who was not afraid of commitment. He explained how she asked for the meaning of each tattoo and took great interest in how they were done, and where, and why. She made him feel as if each was an artistic representation of his reality, which is exactly the way he felt about them, too. He didn’t try to stop the flow of tears. He thanked Daddy for allowing him to be a part of the family and the night.
That got me. At that point, I’d gone through half my Kleenex. Teagan kept taking it, too.
Jessie cleared his throat. “I have made some really bad decisions in the last year or so. I’m not going to get into that tonight. This evening isn’t about me and my stupidity. The only reason I bring it up is to share this. Teagan and I came over to the house to talk to Mom and Dad about the mistakes I’ve made. To get some guidance. I didn’t want to come. I also didn’t want Teagan to kill me in my sleep or walk out the door, so I got in the car and drove over here absolutely sure that Mom would do that thing she does where she makes you feel like you are about an inch and a half tall and two years old and know nothing at all about life or love or anything else. All in one look. She didn’t do that. She was filled with grace and kindness and acceptance and wisdom. She made me feel as if she cared for me. Just like when I was a teen and I came to this house. I know this isn’t a night for stories, but I don’t think any of you know that when I was a teen, things weren’t going well at home. I used to come here in the middle of the night. Mom would get up and put on her blue robe and let me in the back door. We’d sit right here at this table. She’d have a cup of tea, and I’d have hot chocolate, and she would listen. To all my problems. I think she knew that I was on the verge of suicide the first night she talked to me for hours and hours. She talked me back from the edge. As much as you all love her, I don’t think you can possibly understand what a unique and wonderful woman she is. You’ve had all of her love and support from your first breath to your last. She isn’t gone from you. She is still watching and loving you and wanting the very best.” Jessie sat quietly. One tear ran down his cheek.
My mind was scrambled from that point on. All the words seemed to comfort Daddy, and that was the most important thing.
By the time everyone was ready to leave, I felt funny leaving Daddy there by himself. “Would you mind if someone spent the night?”
“There is no need, girl.”
“I know, but it has been a really emotional night, and I just thought it would be nice to have someone in the house.”
“I must become accustomed to being alone. It is what I will be the rest of my days.”
“You don’t know that. Maybe you will meet somebody and build a life with her.”
“What? Start a new life with another woman? There will be none of that, I can promise you.”
“I didn’t mean today, Daddy. But maybe someday. You are still a young man. You could still find someone. You never know. Maybe not get married and everything, but at least somebody to share some time with.”
“I have no interest in that. Any woman would be such a step down from your mother.”
“Maybe a step to the side.” I didn’t mean to offend my father, but I think I did. I’ve always read that if you are happy in your marriage, especially a male, and you lose your spouse, you are likely to remarry quickly. Daddy was always very happy in his marriage. I don’t want to force him into anything, but at the same time, men that remarry live longer and happier lives, and I want Daddy around for a very long time to come.
We all left at about the same time.
Mrs. Ladner was walking down the block. When Teagan and I stopped to chat with her for just a minute, she asked after my father. “Tonight was a bit rough. We had a little memorial thing for my mother, but all things being equal, he is doing pretty well.”
“I worry for him. When my sister died, her husband only lasted four months.”
“Daddy has a lot going for him. There are a lot of us to keep him busy, plus he has the grandkids, plus he knows my mother would want him to take care of himself.”
“That all sounds lovely, Cara. But remember, all you young people have lives of your own, and everything your dear father thought was his life got buried in that box.”
I couldn’t believe how harsh her words were, but maybe that was her intent.
Teagan actually gasped. Not a big stage gasp, but I heard it.
I shot her a look that said, “Don’t smack the crap out of our neighbor lady.”
Once we extricated ourselves from Mrs. Ladner, with the excuse of having to catch up with our boyfriends, Teagan and I just stared at each other for a second.
“My apartment or a restaurant?” It’s a sister thing, not a psychic thing. I know what Teagan is thinking, often before she does.
“Your apartment.”
“With or without guys?”
“With.”
“See you there in a few.”
We had a cup of tea and convinced each other Daddy would be okay, but we needed to keep an eye on him and not let him be too lonely.
The guys agreed and committed to make an effort to include him in things they thought he might be interested in.
This is going to be a whole new way of being an O’Flynn.
I liked the old way better.