Chapter One
682 days after initial infection
Kane
“I’m going with them,” I yelled over my shoulder. I’d just finished my shift from last night, but the new patrol was ready to go out and I didn’t want them to leave without me. My father stood behind me, in the middle of the hallway where his sick trophies couldn’t reach him.
“Why?” he father called back, clearly as perplexed as my mom had been. I’d checked in with her like I did every single morning after a shift. She worried about me even while she knew what we did was a necessity.
My entire body stiffened at his questioning tone. It wasn’t abnormal for me to go out on multiple patrols, but I had already put in a double overnight. It wasn’t that I didn’t understand my dad’s confusion- but I did resent having to explain my actions. He could control the rest of the Colony, but I was almost always left to my own devices. I had been appointed second in command since the beginning and I didn’t need to be babysat or watched as closely as the others. My father could trust me implicitly. Because unlike his other children, I believed in his methodology and his long term goals. I would always stand at his side. I would always fight for the purpose we both held as close as religion. This was who I was now; the soldier that fought for control again, the leader that kept humanity in line… the son that carried out his father’s will because I was an extension of his greater plan.
“They’re not alone,” I said simply.
“The guys that came in with Miller?” he asked with cold indifference. My father had one weakness- pride. He thought this place was indestructible- he thought we were flawless. And while I agreed that our tactics worked more often than not, I saw a broader big-picture than he did. Pride would leave us vulnerable and open to failure.
And those were not acceptable options.
And besides that my instincts burned inside me like road flares. Those guys we’d captured weren’t just lucky to still be alive; their good fortune went well beyond luck. They had skill and knowledge I hadn’t seen in outsiders in a long time. That probably meant there were more of them.
And that bothered me.
My father was blinded by pride for a reason. We were practically invincible. We were stronger than the rest… smarter than the rest.
We were the answer to the problem. The solution to the infestation.
Everyone knew that. Whether they risked life and limb to get to us or simply wanted to investigate the rumors of our sanctuary, people flocked here from all over the former US.
Except these guys. And now they wanted to leave?
They hadn’t come right out and said that, but it was clear in their anxious behavior and wandering attention spans that they had no intentions of going through our probationary period.
That meant something, or someone, was out there waiting for them. Someone that would probably come looking for them and expect us to let them go.
And I just couldn’t wait to meet them. I couldn’t wait to see what kind of human being could survive the last two years and still feel that surprising glow of determination and control.
In my experience, the only ones that still felt in control were my father and me. The rest of the population of this dying earth felt far from in control; no, they felt lost, under constant threat and in unrelenting danger. They didn’t feel control because they didn’t see a solution and they’d lost sight of hope years ago.
And if it wasn’t those weak, victimized people looking for protection than it was the other side of the spectrum- men who’d lost any remnants of decency and humanity in an effort to compensate for those things that they couldn’t fix or expect. They forced control and authority because it didn’t come naturally to them anymore- because they were just as much victims of a deadly apocalypse as the rest of us. They were just too stubborn or dumb to admit it. Either way, when they met us and saw firsthand what we could offer, they gladly handed over their free will and loyalty to be a part of our thriving society.
My father’s entire philosophy rested on the fact that we were salvation to a world drowning in the depths of hell. And without that mentality, our power was only as great as our word. People needed to trust us indisputably, they needed to set their hope in us…. they needed to deify us.
Outsiders with their own vision threatened everything we’d worked so hard to build.
And while they couldn’t be allowed to go on like they were, I was still curious to see what kind of potential talent they could bring to the table.
“How do you know there’s more?” My dad asked with a carefully measured voice. His thoughts had gone in the same direction as mine. He realized the threat now. He wanted to resolve this issue as quickly as I did.
This was why he should never doubt me; I was five steps ahead of him.
“Gut feeling.” I turned back around, checking my ammo, checking my guns, checking my knives. I blinked to make sure my contacts were in place. It didn’t make sense to be careless in this end of days, not even in our utopia.
“You think there’s women with them?” he asked in a low voice.
Women were like currency around here- around everywhere. The aftermath of the infection had wiped out a huge percentage of the female population just because of Darwin’s Law- survival of the fittest. We were building a civilization based mostly on men and testosterone and that wouldn’t do in the grand scheme of things. We needed the soft feminine touch to balance us out, keep us cultured, keep us from tearing each other apart with our bare hands.
Of course there were other reasons for wanting women around.
“Hard to tell, but I’m ready to find out,” I drawled.
“Be careful, Son,” he called after me.
“Always.” And as an afterthought I said, “Miller’s had enough.”
“I’ll be the judge of that,” he spit back as firm and dangerous as ever. Now that was the father I knew; not the one concerned with my safety, but the one who ruled everything and everyone with an iron fist and a cocky surety that would make a man question every single one of his beliefs if they didn’t match Matthias Allen’s.
I snorted something unintelligible and allowed myself a second of remorse for my stupid little brother’s idiotic actions. He should have known better.
He should have at least known not to come back here. It was his own fault. And now there was nothing I could do for him.
I tilted my chin up and walked out the doors into the early morning sky. Electrodes of adrenaline and excitement sparked up and down my back and all over my limbs.
I suppressed the smile that wanted to break free on my face and brought my body into complete submission.
I was going hunting. And something inside my gut told me this would be the most exciting chase of my life so far.
Austen and Creed were already waiting for me. They were some of the younger guys hoping to build a career out of patrols and killing Zombies. And they actually had the stuff to make it.
I chose them this morning to accompany me. They were quiet, capable and had the kind of instincts that would keep them- and me- alive.
They were also disposable.
Not that they knew that. But really, they all were.
Our ranks were filled with hundreds of guys like them. This enemy was easy to kill and regret rarely plagued men trying to protect loved ones or their own skin from a creature that wanted to eat their face. They flooded our boarders with promises of loyalty and tunneled vision that lined up with my father’s. They were the perfect kind of soldiers and when they made a mistake and succumbed to the enemy we fought so vigilantly, they were easily replaced.
But they gave their lives willingly. We all wanted the same thing; we all wanted to be free of the Zombie threat. And there wasn’t a person alive that wouldn’t do exactly what we asked if we promised them that end result. Even if they weren’t around to enjoy the results of their effort, they believed that the rest of humanity deserved to be freed from Feeders.
“Let’s go,” I ordered in a low voice.
I didn’t bother to ask them if they were ready. They already better be. I didn’t have time to wait around for them or babysit them while they asked for directions. If I chose them then they better be prepared for everything I needed the minute I asked for it.
Was that arrogant?
Hell, yes. But I didn’t just accidentally land my spot on the top of the totem pole by being the first born son of Matthias Allen. No, I’d earned this place with a patient ruthlessness and resolved insensitivity that I was proud of.
We marched a path straight into the surrounding forest. Miller and his guests had left an offering of footprints last night in the soft mud. If there were others following them, it seemed most logical that they would try to follow those prints. I couldn’t believe they’d left them on accident.
There were plenty of other teams patrolling the woods at this time of day, but I wanted these prints. I wanted to be the one to find the rest of this group.
If they were as proficient as the other two waiting on a trial with my father, the obvious clues might just come in handy.
Last night the two that were currently locked away seemed less than likely to join our ranks; but I would eventually show them how mutually beneficial we could be for each other. We were an ideal place for men of their caliber and talent. And we could offer steady meals and shelter. They would change their minds.
My father planned to put them through probation and then reevaluate their commitment to the Colony.
I agreed with his method. Nobody left on this planet could be completely trusted. Probation was the best way to get to a man’s core belief system, to find out just how easily his loyalty was swayed. It was difficult at times to live in a community that took so much work to maintain- but the rewards were staggering, compared to what else this fallen world had to offer.
They would either get in line or my father would deal with them in his usual way.
There really was only one choice. They clearly valued their lives; I had no doubt they would come to the right conclusion.
We walked in stealthy silence through the thick forestry. Only fifteen minutes into our venture, I could hear the distant voices that floated on the wind. From here it was difficult to tell what kind of people they belonged to, but for a moment I thought I heard a child.
I paused mid-stride and gave the signal to the other two young men to proceed quietly and fan out around the voices.
We moved into the dark forest with practiced steps and clear purpose. We’d done this a hundred, maybe a thousand times before. This was a drill to us, as easy as breathing.
My feet faltered only once and that was when we were close enough to fully identify the kind of voices approaching. Although we still couldn’t see them, I could hear clearly enough. One man- old enough to be a man, but young enough to still be somewhat ambiguous in years. Middle aged? Or teenager? Somewhere in the middle? It was hard to tell.
And then the other voice.
That’s where my footsteps tripped up.
Not a child. A woman. The husky, honeyed, purely feminine voice drifted to my ears with warmth and perfect tones of light, easy amusement. The voice bypassed my brain and hit me directly in the chest, in the joints of my bones, in the male parts of me that absorbed that tone word for delicate word.
I threw up a hand and let out a short, low whistle. Austen and Creed immediately stopped and disappeared into hiding. We would wait for them to come to us. They would walk directly into our trap. We would have the advantage and the experience, while they stumbled through the still-dark forest giving everything away about themselves.
My lips curved and I realized with some shock that I was smiling- something I rarely did. I crouched behind a thick tree and peered around it. I was utterly still and silent while I waited- waited for her.
“Then don’t,” she was saying. “It’s weird talking about my virginity with you, even if it’s in the context of saving your immortal soul.”
Virginity?
Something so virile, something so purely, primal male burned in my blood, I was embarrassed for myself.
It was just… virgins didn’t exist anymore. The ratio of men to women was fatally unfair, but take into account how many of those remaining females were still able to hold onto their innocence? In this godforsaken world? It didn’t seem possible.
And if I thought I had been drawn to this girl by just the sound of her voice, the fact that she had somehow managed to hold onto her virtue… had something to protect and gift away… I was not just pulled in, I was lost.
Of course, she could be a hag. Then what?
Would it matter what she looked like? Would it matter if she had
three teeth and no hair?
Probably.
But then she stepped into view and all those shallow thoughts disappeared, replaced by a force so strong and consuming, I stumbled forward, catching myself in the damp earth with one hand.
Her companion was saying something about his brother and a man code, but all I could see was the raven haired beauty walking my way. She was breath-taking- even in the dim morning light. The sun made the air around her glow and the edges of her body burn into a hazy obscurity. Her body- lithe, graceful, sensual- moved over the rough forest floor with ease and I felt hypnotized by the sway of her curvy hips.
I hadn’t seen beauty in a long time; but looking at her, at this girl that appeared from nowhere and was headed directly to me… it was like seeing something truly beautiful for the first time. She was everything lovely left in this world. She was pure, she was innocent and she was light. She was light to me. It wasn’t just the stark difference between the raw attraction I felt for her, it was that she lit up even the sunlight. She somehow burned through the darkness, and not just the dark forest, but the ominous gloom of this world. She transcended the bleak un-living we’d yielded to and reminded me of what life used to be like, what it could be again.
And she was alone.
Well, for the most part.
She was wandering a Zombie-filled forest with one other person and a handgun at her side. Clearly, she wasn’t prepared for this world. Clearly, she needed someone to protect her.
I took in the details of her and her partner quickly. Each held a gun, but if they had other weapons, they weren’t at hand. The guy was probably related to our prisoners from last night. He was older than anyone else in his group, but mimicked the same dirty blonde hair and rough-barely-maintained facial hair style that the other two had. His features alone gave him away. He also held the same make and model handgun that the two other guys carried. That couldn’t be a coincidence. His gate was similar, his tuned-in attentiveness and Yankee accent all showed evidence that he was in some way related to the other prisoners.
That meant the girl was traveling with them but not necessarily related to them. She was about as opposite in looks as could be, the dark to their light. But, now… she was the light to my darkness.
It was a good decision for me to patrol this morning. If Creed or Austen had been out here alone, no doubt they would have wanted to claim her for themselves- potentially even fought over her. And while I couldn’t blame them for trying, I would get first pick no matter what. Seniority ruled these lands and I was the superior officer. The only other man that could claim her before me was my father, but he would never do that to my mother.
This girl belonged to me now.
The corners of my mouth turned up again and I couldn’t believe my luck.
Once the pair had stepped into our triangle of entrapment I raised my hand and sent Creed the signal with two fingers and a “round-em-up” motion.
I silently stood to my feet, readied my weapon, and waited for the perfect opportunity to step out of hiding.
“Stop moving!” Creed called out sternly. “Drop your weapons and put your hands in the air!”
“Shit,” the guy growled. His guns dropped from his hands to the forest floor and I couldn’t stop the rush of adrenaline from knowing she was one moment closer to being mine. I took a step forward and signaled Austen to move in behind them. Creed continued to close in on the other side. Once the guns were out of the stranger’s hands he lifted them above his head and stared down at the female with an authoritative scowl.
“No way,” she growled at him. Her dark haired pony-tail flipped around her neck. She tightened her grip on that small handgun and I felt my chest rumble a growl of approval. I hadn’t seen a girl with so much tenacity since before the infection; and thinking about it in the context of where we were now, maybe I’d never seen a girl with so much courage.
Women today either used their feminine gifts as a barter system or they were easily compliant to orders in an attempt to hold onto their virtue- which rarely worked in this world, but I understood their flawed thinking. This kind of girl, one that fought back, one that believed she had a chance… she was truly rare.
“Reagan,” her friend warned her.
Reagan. Her name was Reagan. The word settled over me like an oath and I took it, swore to it, let it fill me with purpose, conviction and promise.
“Drop your weapons!” Creed shouted when it was clear she wouldn’t.
Her lips tilted in amusement and she goaded us, saying, “That sounds like a terrible idea. Why don’t you come get them?”
Gladly.
I moved into position and held my breath. My blood burned with anticipation, my body thrumming to life with anxious excitement.
I listened to the guy try to talk reason into her and I felt pride bubble up inside me when she obviously didn’t listen. The world had dissolved into dangerous predators and victims, into monsters and innocent fatalities, and I didn’t mean simply Feeder vs. Human. Mankind was as guilty as taking a side as the evil creatures that shared our planet. Yet, this girl. This girl stood apart, a different being entirely. Something good yet strong, something virtuous yet spirited. She had captivated me with every part of her and I didn’t even know her yet. There was so much to explore, so much more to her to discover.
“Reagan, do you trust me?” I read the lips of her friend as he whispered. He practically begged her to listen to reason and I held still, frozen in place while I waited to see if she would listen.
“Vaughan, your brothers,” she beseeched him with wide eyes. I had been right then- he was related to the other guys. The first victory of many more to come with these people.
Vaughan visibly winced and his face shuttered with helplessness. Just when I thought he would bend down to retrieve his gun, he whispered something to Reagan that I couldn’t make out from this distance.
Neither moved for a long moment. Reagan’s firearm still clenched in her fingers. She looked uncertain for just a moment before one of my men drew their attention when he stepped on a branch. The cracking twig snapped loudly in the tense stillness, accomplishing exactly what we’d planned to. They both whirled around to the direction of the aggressive sound. I took the opportunity given to me. I had a goal and three steps forward took me to her. One arm snaked around her slim waist and the barrel of my gun pressed gently into her temple.
I wouldn’t shoot her unless my own life was in danger, but I needed to establish my authority immediately. She didn’t fight me, she didn’t flail or scream or even prickle with fear. She stood strong in my arms, a separate entity from me, even while I desperately wanted to pull her body against my chest and let her melt into my skin.
Her body was warm and vibrating with life. Her taut muscles- tight from her hard life but not interrupting the subtle curves of her hips, thighs and breasts- flexed beneath my touch. She was feminine perfection: grace, the smallest hints of delicateness and an easy self-presence that hinted she knew exactly who she was and didn’t apologize for anything. This world had maybe stripped away her trust and replaced it with paranoia, probably sucked out her refinement and civility only to replace them with the hard will to survive and a ruthless cunning developed over years of living on the road. But she felt elegant in my large, brutish arms, she felt tiny and vulnerable pressed against the sweat of my towering body.
I looked down at her, at the bend of her jaw, the arch of her lovely throat, the sweet fullness of her lips and felt my body harden behind hers, come fully to attention- awaken as if for the first time. She smelled like cool morning, smoky wood and hard work; but on her it was delicious and intoxicating.
She wore a thin, canvas backpack filled with hard metal and gun-barrel shaped items. I knew she carried a small arsenal, but in that moment I was thankful for the separation between us. I would work up to touching her full body with the length of mine. But it had been too long since I’d held a woman flush against me to take that step now- in the presence of others. When we finally connected, we would be alone and she would be willing- not held at gunpoint.
I had lost my soul out of necessity, not because I relished being a monster.
There were certain lines that I would not cross- not even with a gift like this.
Reagan stiffened under my hold and flipped her head so that I got a face full of that luscious dark hair. Without fear or reservation, she tilted her chin in defiance and said to her friend, “I told you the woods were a terrible idea!”
I felt my lips turn into another uncharacteristic smile and almost chuckled at her obstinacy. Even while I found her quick wit and stubborn fearlessness entertaining, I had to disagree with her. The woods had been an excellent idea.
At least in my opinion.