CCRRAAAAAASSHH!
At the moment Neville thought the gundiskump was going to grind him into Neville-marmalade with its massive fangs, it clamped its jaws shut. Neville and Rubella hit the wall of teeth with a painful wallop and instantly bounced back off.
‘DON’T LET GO!’ Rubella screamed as she gripped hold of Neville.
Neville landed with a SPLOOSH in the freezing ocean. He barely had time to splutter and catch his breath before –
‘LOOK OUT!’ Rubella yanked his arm and pointed upwards. The gundiskump was flopping back into the waves and was about to land on top of them.
‘SWIM, RUBELLA … SWIM!’ Neville yelled.
‘I AM SWIMMIN’!’ she yelled back.
Neville’s legs were numb from the icy water. He pushed and kicked as hard as he could, but he didn’t seem to be going anywhere. This was the end. His arms were getting tired and try as he might, Neville couldn’t make them work. How was he supposed to outswim a sea monster?
‘DON’T STOP NOW, YOU DONKER!’
Rubella grabbed Neville and swung him on to her back. Just as he was about to give up hope, a wave as big as a house shot out from beneath the great fish and carried them off, spluttering and gurgling.
Neville, clinging on to Rubella’s turnips and riding on her shoulders, watched as the gundiskump vanished beneath the waves with one final explosion of water.
‘MOOMA! DOODA!’ Neville cried. ‘NOOOO!’
The glowing monster became a wobbly shimmer as it sank further and further below them.
‘AAAAAAGGHH!’ Rubella sobbed. She grabbed hold of a chunk of Ole Sinky’s hull as it rushed past on the current. ‘What are we goin’ to do?’
Neville couldn’t speak. He’d never seen his sister in such a howling mess before. ‘I … I … um …’ The reality of what had just happened hit him like a fist in the stomach. The gundiskump was gone, and with it his troll-parents and his little brother.
‘THIS IS YOUR FAULT!’ Rubella screamed as she hauled herself up out of the water. ‘ALL BECAUSE WE HAD TO GO AND SEE YOUR BLUNKIN’ GRANDMOOMA.’
‘What are we going to do?’ Neville echoed Rubella’s question with a whimper. Tears started pouring down his cheeks.
‘I don’t know.’
‘I can’t even remember which way we came from.’
‘Just shut up and let me think,’ Rubella snapped. ‘I –’
Suddenly a large bubble erupted on the surface of the water right next to them.
GLUG … BLUB … PLOB … GLUG
Neville looked down and started to shake.
‘Is it coming back?’ he asked through chattering teeth.
Another bubble appeared … then another … and another. The gundiskump was returning to collect the remains of its dinner.
GLUG … BLUG … BOB … BOB … CHUG
The bubbles were getting bigger and bigger.
‘Nev …’ Rubella took hold of Neville’s hand. In the light from a passing buoy, Neville watched an odd expression settle on his troll-sister’s face.
‘Are you all right?’ he asked.
Rubella’s mouth twitched, then her eyes widened and from her lips came the most shocking words Neville had ever heard. ‘If we’re goin’ to die, there’s somethin’ I want to say before we go.’
‘What?’ said Neville, bracing himself. What was she going to say? Surely Rubella wasn’t going to say something kind, was she?
‘Well …’ said Rubella.
‘Yes?’
‘I HATE YOU!!!!’ Rubella screeched.
SPLOOOOOOSH! Old Barnacle bobbed to the surface in a flurry of yet more bubbles. ‘WELL, THAT WERE UNEXPECTABLE.’
Rubella looked like she’d just been slapped round the face. She gawped at the old troll, then turned to Neville and shoved him into the water. ‘Guh!’ she screamed. ‘Ugh! I thought we were about to die!’
‘WHAT A PICKLE,’ Old Barnacle huffed as he swam over.
‘We thought you were the monster,’ Neville spluttered as he struggled back on to the chunk of Ole Sinky for the second time.
‘WHO?’ said Old Barnacle. He raised his ear trumpet. How he’d managed to hold on to it, Neville couldn’t even begin to guess.
‘What do we do now?’ said Rubella. She waited for Neville to get completely out of the water before pushing him back in again.
‘THAT’S EASY,’ said Old Barnacle. He reached Ole Sinky, but didn’t climb up. Instead, he helped Neville on, then grabbed hold of the side and started kicking his ancient legs, propelling the boat through the water. ‘WE’LL GO SEE OLE JAUNDICE, OF COURSE. SHE’LL KNOW WHAT TO DO!’
‘WHAT?’ Neville shouted so Old Barnacle could hear. Tears welled up in his eyes again. ‘WHAT’S THE USE? EVERYONE’S GONE.’
‘SO LET’S GET ’EM BACK.’
‘How?’ A tingle of hope sparked to life in Neville’s belly.
‘WITH A GOBBER THAT BIG, A GUNDISKUMP NEVER BOTHERS TO CHEW. YOUR FOLKS’LL BE FINE AND DANDY IN GREAT GURTY’S BELLY.’
‘Great Gurty?’ said Rubella.
‘THAT WEREN’T JUST ANY OLD GUNDISKUMP,’ Old Barnacle grunted. ‘I’D RECOGNIZE THOSE GNASHERS ANYWHERES. THAT WAS GREAT GURTY AN’ NO MISTAKIN’. IF YOU WANT YOUR MOOMA AND DOODA BACK, IT’S LADY JAUNDICE WHO’LL KNOW HOW TO GET ’EM. WE’LL HAVE TO BE QUICK, THOUGH. IF GREAT GURTY GOES BACK TO SLEEP AT THE BOTTOM OF THE UNDERSEA, THEY’LL BE STUCK DOWN THERE FOREVER.’
‘But Jaundice is still behind bars,’ Neville said, cupping his hands like a loudspeaker.
‘WELL, WE’LL JUST HAVE TO THINK OF SOMETHIN’ WHEN WE GET THERE,’ said Old Barnacle.