Jaundice burst straight through the metal gate, sending bits of lock and hinge flying in all directions.
‘Ha ha!’ she cackled. ‘FREEDOM!’
Neville squeezed against his grandma’s carrot shoulders as tightly as he could and closed his eyes.
‘This is stupous,’ Rubella huffed as she stumbled along behind. ‘We’re on an island … There’s nowhere to go.’
‘NONKUMBUMPS!’ Jaundice shouted. She grabbed Rubella by the hand and pulled her down the hill, running faster and faster. ‘The first rule of being a truccaneer is … NEVER GIVE UP!’
She started leaping down the steps, ten at a time.
‘You’ve gone crooked in the clonker,’ Rubella groaned, but Jaundice was ignoring her.
‘BARNACLE?’ Jaundice shouted. ‘BARNACLE, WHERE ARE YOU?’
‘What?’ Neville said into his grandma’s ear. ‘How did you know Old Barnacle was down here?’
‘The second rule of being a truccaneer is … know where your crew is at all times. BARNACLE!’
‘WHO?’ Old Barnacle came lumbering over the rocks, waving his ear trumpet. ‘WHAT’S OCCURINATIN’?’
‘OVER HERE!’ Jaundice called.
‘OH, IT’S YOU, CAPTAIN! I DID WHAT YOU TOLD ME TO, I DID.’
‘What’s going on?’ said Neville. ‘How do you two know each other?’
‘This is Old Barnacle – first mate on the good ship Rigor Mortis,’ Jaundice said. Old Barnacle saluted.
‘I DID WHAT YOU SAID,’ Old Barnacle mumbled like an excited schoolboy. ‘AS SOON AS WE GOT ’ERE AND YOUR NIPSTER WENT IN LOOKIN’ FOR YOU, I STOOD ON THEM THERE ROCKS AND SENT OUT A MESSAGE TO ALL THE CREW.’
‘Good work, Barnacle,’ Jaundice said. ‘Now … where’s my ship?’
‘WELL, IT’S JUST –’
‘Hold on a minute,’ Neville interrupted. He’d had about as much as he could bear. ‘Are you telling me that this was all planned? You got our parents eaten by a fish so you could make us rescue your stupid captain?’
‘Don’t forget who his captain is,’ Jaundice snapped, dumping Neville on the wet sand.
‘YES, AND NO …’ Old Barnacle said, grinning nervously. ‘THE PLAN WAS TO BRING YOU LOT OUT ’ERE, LET YOU SEE LADY JAUNDICE AND THEN I’D SNEAK IN AND RESCUE HER MESELF. NO ONE PLANNED FOR THE GUNDISKUMP PART.’
‘So all that stuff about savin’ our mooma and dooda was all a load of grubberlumpin’?’ Rubella said.
‘A truccaneer never breaks her oath,’ said Jaundice. ‘You got me out of the Clunk, so I’ll get your parents out of the gundiskump. A deal’s a deal.’
Neville’s head was swimming; this was all too much.
‘First mate Barnacle,’ Jaundice said in a leader-like way. ‘Call my ship.’
‘HA HA! INDEEDY, CAPTAIN!’ Old Barnacle laughed. He pulled the whistle out of his pocket and blew it with all his might.
‘What now?’ said Neville.
‘Watch,’ said Jaundice.
Old Barnacle blew the whistle again. There was a moment of silence until …
HOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNKKKKKKKK!!
A ship’s horn sounded a little way out to sea. Neville jumped and nearly screamed. All at once, hundreds of lanterns were lit and an enormous pirate ship flashed into view.
‘Oh, my beauty!’ Jaundice beamed. ‘I’ve missed you.’
Neville couldn’t believe his eyes. The ship had been moored so close and yet was completely hidden in the darkness. There were pirate-trolls all over the deck and swinging in the rigging, each one carrying a milk-bottle lantern.
‘AHOY!’ Jaundice shouted.
‘AHOY, CAPTAIN!’ came the reply.
Old Barnacle turned to Neville and gave him a friendly nudge.
‘HOW’S ABOUT THAT THEN?’
