Suddenly Neville didn’t feel quite so sure about his plan. If he wanted to rescue his family, he had to go along with Jaundice’s idea until they were inside Great Gurty.
‘Now show me again,’ Jaundice said, stroking her warty chin. Neville stood with a rubber tyre round his middle and wiggled like someone dancing the hula.
‘Like this, Grandma?’ Neville said, trying to sound as innocent as possible.
‘Just like that,’ Jaundice said with a sickening smile. ‘You need to make sure Great Gurty can smell you in the water … are you ready?’
‘Ready,’ said Neville nervously.
‘Go on then, boy!’ Jaundice shouted. ‘JUMP!’
Neville had no choice. He scrunched up his eyes, thought of his hero, Captain Brilliant, and leapt over the railing.
The water was icy cold and snatched his breath away as soon as he hit it.
‘AAAAGH!’ Neville screamed. ‘It’s freezing!’ He tried desperately not to think about the fact that he was in the sea with all those monstrous things Old Barnacle had talked about. ‘AAAAGH!’
‘Now, Nev,’ Jaundice shouted over the side of the Rigor Mortis, ‘WRIGGLE!’
Neville kicked and splashed anything he could move. He blew bubbles and jiggled his fingers and twisted his head this way and that.
‘Is it working?’ he shouted.
‘Erm … NO!’ Jaundice shouted back.
Neville twisted round to look for the light bulb on a stalk. It was still a long way off and didn’t seem to be getting any closer.
‘TRY AGAIN!’ Jaundice yelled.
Neville tried again until it felt like his arms and legs were going to snap off.
‘M-maybe G-Great G-Gurty isn’t h-hungry?’ Neville said through chattering teeth.
‘Nonkumbumps!’ replied Lady Jaundice. ‘Gundiskumps are always hungry … Something’s not right.’ The old lady thought for a moment. She tossed her carrot stalks over her shoulders and paced across the deck.
‘G-Grandma,’ Neville shivered. ‘It’s g-getting very c-cold in here.’
‘HOLD YOUR HONKERS,’ Jaundice shouted. ‘I’VE GOT IT!’ Then she turned to her crew and shouted. ‘BRING OUT THE CHUBLET!’
A few moments later, Rubella was in the water next to Neville with a tyre wedged round her middle like a hairband round a hippopotamus. Neville hadn’t seen his troll-sister in ages … and she looked awful.
‘H-hello, R-Rubella,’ Neville said, trying to smile. He desperately wanted to tell her about Jaundice’s horrible plan, but knew Rubella would never be able to control her temper and go along with the old gonker, which would likely ruin their chances of getting Clod, Malaria and Pong back.
Rubella looked at Neville. Her face was filthy and her hair was even messier than normal. She opened her mouth and, for a moment, Neville thought she was going to yell at him, but she burst out crying instead.
‘They made me do chores!’ she wailed, with tears pouring down her face. ‘I HAD TO … TO … WORK! WAAAAAHH!’
‘It’s O-OK, R-Rubella,’ Neville comforted. ‘We’re almost th-there. They’ve found G-Great G-Gurty.’
‘Wha?’
‘Over th-there.’ Neville nodded in the direction of the light-bulb stalk. ‘S-see?’
Rubella craned her neck and looked.
‘AAAAGH! NOT AGAIN!’ she screamed and started thrashing and kicking in the water.
Jaundice ran to the railing. ‘YOU TOO, NEV!’ she ordered. ‘JUST LIKE BIG-BOTTOMED BELLY.’
‘THAT’S NOT MY NAME, JOAN!’ Rubella screamed.
No sooner had Neville started kicking his feet, he saw the light bulb start to approach at a tremendous speed. It raced through the waves, spraying water up on either side like a fountain.
‘THAT’S IT!’ Jaundice shouted. ‘Gurty loves the taste of underling and overling together!’
Soon the light bulb started to rise higher and higher on its stalk. Then a scaly forehead the size of a football pitch emerged … then two massive eyes … then that terrible, enormous mouth … until Great Gurty’s entire head was above the water.
It tore towards the ship at breakneck speed, spluttering and hissing.
Old Barnacle joined Jaundice at the railing.
‘OPEN WIDE, YOU FUZZBONKIN’ GREAT WHOMPER!’ he yelled.
‘IT’S WORKIN’!’ Jaundice screeched. Neville could see that glint in her eye like the time she almost destroyed the ticker-dinger-thinger. ‘REEL ’EM IN!’
Bilge, Spit and Blister grabbed the ropes attached to Neville and Rubella’s tyres and heaved them up on to the deck.
‘BRACE YOURSELVES, SEWER RATS!’ Jaundice bellowed over the din.
Neville just had time to clamber to his feet as Great Gurty’s mountainous fangs passed round the ship. He watched as the mammoth set of jaws closed over them as if they were sailing into a tunnel.
Rubella grabbed hold of Neville’s hand and whimpered as the teeth clamped shut and all the torches on deck blew out. There was an almighty, deafening CRASH, followed by an even more deafening silence.
‘Well,’ came Captain Jaundice’s voice after a moment, ‘we’re in …’