How did you two meet?” is an intriguing question people ask my beloved wife, Susan Benedetto, and me. Let me just begin the story this way: the first time we met, we didn’t really see each other. Let me explain. . . .
It was 1966. Susan’s parents, Marion and Dayl Crow, were visiting New York from the San Francisco area, where they were from. In fact, Marion Crow’s family have been San Franciscans since the mid-1800s. They were dedicated fans. I learned later on that they had seen many of my shows.
Marion and Dayl came to see me perform at the Copacabana, and in those days the cigarette girls would come around to all the guests that wanted to have a photo taken at the table. Marion jokingly said, “Only if Tony Bennett is in the photo, too!” To the Crows’ surprise, after the show the cigarette girl, who had gotten a note to me backstage, escorted them back to my dressing room. I took the photo with them. As fate would have it, Marion was pregnant at the time with . . . Susan! It’s a photo we all laugh about, knowing the incredible turn of events that followed.
Through her parents, Susan was introduced to my music and actually was the president of my fan club in the Bay Area as a teenager. When she was nineteen, she had tickets to see me perform at the Masonic Temple in San Francisco, and she put in a request to say hello backstage after the show, probably not even expecting a response. The request was sent to me, and it tickled me that someone of her age was so devoted to my music. I not only agreed to say hello to her backstage but asked her to be my date for the evening, and that’s how it all really began, foreshadowed by a backstage photo taken in 1966!
I can’t say that we didn’t notice the age difference when we first met.
But I can say that after all these years together, we don’t notice it much now. We’re compatible in all ways. We appreciate the same music; we love films, especially old classics (and sometimes old B pictures that are hardly classics but have interesting twists or notable character actors); art; painting; and literature. Susan is a woman with a wise, mature character.
Susan came east and got her BA in history at Fordham, then went on to spend a year on an internship at the Reagan White House before getting her master’s degree at Columbia University’s Teachers College.
It was so appropriate for Susan to go into teaching, as it reflected her kind, caring, and intelligent disposition. She began her teaching career and then got her master’s degree in supervision and administration from Fordham.
I’ve learned that Susan is thoughtful, and always truthful. She’s brought balance and contentment into my life. Her goodness and the peace at the center of her soul have helped me to think straight, live well, and, I’m quite sure, live longer.
Susan is with me when I travel to perform, all over the world, and we share the discovery of new and old places. She has made our life into a journey that we share.
It is a journey that Susan and I also began to support arts education. This started when I attended Frank Sinatra’s funeral in May 1998 (on Frank’s gravestone it’s chiseled, THE BEST IS YET TO COME), and I had in my mind to do something to honor his passing. Years ago, Rosemary Clooney and I had talked to Goddard Lieberson, who was then head of Columbia Records, about starting an arts school to allow students to explore all of the creative arts with encouragement and support.
That idea never got off the ground back then. But it stuck with me. Those two thoughts—honoring Frank and creating an arts school—came together, and I spoke to Susan about it when I returned from Frank’s funeral. We both thought, Well, why not?
Susan, who was teaching at Fiorello H. La Guardia High School of Music & Art and Performing Arts in New York City, got to work. We consulted with many colleagues and educators, but it was my good friend Peter Vallone, whose family in Astoria gave me some of my earliest breaks in show business, who really pushed things along. At the time, Peter was head of the New York City Council, so with him on board we were able to meet with the mayor’s team and the New York City Board of Education at City Hall. After attending many planning meetings, Susan and I were able to put our dream into reality. In fact, I vividly remember that Peter Vallone and I were standing on the steps of the Metropolitan Museum of Art, where we were holding my seventy-fifth birthday party, when he told me that the school had been approved.
From that point, Susan and I dedicated ourselves to creating a public arts high school that would provide the best arts education, along with a strong academic program. But we also wanted to nurture good citizens by having the students give back to their community and get involved with local organizations to perform and exhibit their artistic talents to enrich the community. I love the borough of Queens, where I grew up, so in 2001, we were able to open temporary quarters for a school for 250 students. And, true to my original intention, we named it Frank Sinatra School of the Arts.
The school flourished at its temporary site, but while that was going on, Susan and I gathered all our friends and colleagues to raise funds for the permanent site, which we wanted to be in Astoria. My hometown had given me so much when I started out that it was important to me to be able to give back to it. After years of hard work, and the generosity of many friends and donors and partners, including the American Ballet Theatre, Tribeca Film Institute, Museum of Modern Art, Juilliard, and many other partners, we opened our splendid new headquarters for Frank Sinatra School of the Arts in Astoria, Queens, in 2009. It’s part of the Kaufman Astoria Studios complex, and we owe a debt of gratitude for all time to George Kaufman, who donated the land on which the school was built.
It’s a school, and it’s also a gathering place and cultural spot for the community. The building has an eight-hundred-seat concert hall, where I’ve been able to introduce my friends Lady Gaga, Billy Joel, Paul McCartney, Alec Baldwin, and many more to perform, and have had incredible speakers such as the late Governor Mario Cuomo, Harry Belafonte, Jerry Seinfeld, Wynton Marsalis share their wisdom with the students. Black box theaters, a stagecraft workshop, art studios and a gallery, dance studios, orchestral classrooms, recording booths, and an outdoor rooftop performance garden are some of the attributes that the school provides its students, and we are so proud of all that the students have been able to accomplish over the years.
It’s a school, yes, for kids who are sure that they want to be artists. But it’s also a school with top-rate academics for kids who may decide to go on to be engineers, scientists, IT professionals, business owners, and self-starters of all kinds. The arts will stay with them and make them better and deeper human beings. And when we saw the impact that this one school had on so many young people, Susan and I decided not to stop. As of this writing, through our nonprofit organization, Exploring the Arts, we partner with thirty-three public arts high schools in New York City and Los Angeles and have plans to expand further.
Susan has that effect on all of us. She is the greatest partner of all—in the school we founded and in my life.
Funny, I’m a guy who has sung some of the world’s great love songs for decades and decades. But knowing Susan has revealed the beating heart of love to me. Susan Benedetto has shown me how love gives you the confidence and courage to be your best self, and the inner peace and contentment that come with them. This wonderful woman has made me a better man.
Cipriani, Venice