14

Chapter Fourteen

Noemi chickened out at first and went to hide in the changing rooms. Luckily, it was deserted, and she sank to one of the benches and put her head in her hands. What was she thinking, telling Rafa she loved him—even if it was true?

Now he would just think it was because she was so mired in grief that she couldn’t think straight, when Noemi knew with all her heart that she spoke the truth. She did love Rafael Genova—every inch of him.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

“Well, if you’re offering…”

She jumped, startled, and saw Kit Vaughan smiling at her. He sat down beside her and looped an arm around her, his smile fading, his eyes serious. “Hey, kiddo. I’m so sorry about your nephew.”

“Everyone knows?”

“Yeah. Word got around. Your sister is still here with your mom and dad. We all tried to get them to go home and get some sleep, but they wouldn’t leave Jack.”

“Are they taking care of him?”

“Of course, babe. Look, there will be an M&M, you know the drill, but Finn’s going to be handling it.”

“Are they doing an autopsy?”

Kit nodded, and Noemi groaned. “I know they need to, but God, Kit. He was just a kid. Six years old. Six.”

“Which is why we need to know how he stroked out on us.” He cleared his throat, and Noemi realized he had more to say.

“What?”

“Noe… Children’s Services got involved.”

Noemi was aghast. “Why?”

“They say that there may be a case for neglect.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Noemi was on her feet now. “Leo was the best fucking mother on the planet… how fucking dare they?” She was screaming now, her temper overwhelming her. “There were no symptoms until there were symptoms! If anyone was negligent, it’s that fucking medical center that sent him home… Jesus, if it hadn’t been for Leo…”

“Jack would still be dead.”

Noemi whirled around to see her sister, her eyes hooded and ringed with black circles, leaning on the door jamb. Leo looked at Kit, who nodded and slipped from the room, squeezing Leo’s shoulder on the way out. Leo looked at Noemi. “I’m sorry I hit you, Noe. I’m really sorry. None of this is your fault… I lost it.”

Noemi went to her sister, and they embraced. “You can hit me all you want, Leo, if it makes you feel better.”

Leo gave a half-laugh, half-sob. “I keep thinking I’ll wake up, and none of this will be true. That I’ll get up and Jack will already be in the kitchen, mixing his cereals up in that way that used to make me crazy and grinning at me. How is it that will never happen again? How is that possible?”

“I wish I knew, Leo. I can barely believe it myself. I see things like this all the time, and yet—the unfairness of it, the brutality, the shock of it. God.”

She hugged her sister tightly then let her go, both women wiping their tears away. “Are Mom and Dad still here?”

Leo shook her head. “I made them go home.” She sighed and rubbed her hand over her face. “I was worried about you, about where you’d gone.”

Noemi looked away. “I was with a friend.” She could feel Leo’s scrutiny and she sighed. “It’s Rafael Genova, okay? We’ve been seeing each other.”

Leonora’s face went still. “Oh.”

“Yeah. It’s still very new. Look, this is hardly the time to talk about my sex life, Leo. Come on, let’s go grab something to eat, and then you really need to lie down.”

To her relief, Leo let Noemi steer her to the cafeteria and make her eat some breakfast and drink coffee. Noemi found a room she could sleep in for a few hours.

“I don’t want Jack to be alone,” Leo fretted but Noemi reassured her.

“I’ll go be with him, Leo. I promise.”


In the morgue, the attendant gave her a sympathetic look and directed her to where Jack lay under a sheet. “I’m so sorry, Dr. Castor.”

Noemi found herself trembling as she lifted the sheet and looked at the too-still face of her beloved nephew. Memories came flooding back of family holidays, birthdays, Christmases… she had been with Leo in the delivery room when she gave birth to Jack.

Noemi had no tears left. The pain of his death was so overwhelming she wondered if any of them would ever be happy again. This morning, seeing Bepi, a knife had twisted in her gut, and she’d almost ran away out of the house.

But she hadn’t. She needed Rafa at that moment, more than ever and when she had told him that morning that she loved him, she had meant it with all her heart.

Noemi dragged a chair over to the gurney and sat down, holding Jack’s cold hand in hers. She didn’t know how long she sat there, but she started when a hand was placed on her shoulder. “Hey, Noemi.”

She looked up. Donald, the kind-faced pathologist was smiling down at her. “I’m so sorry, Noe, but it’s time. We have to take him down now.”

“Can I come with him?”

Donald looked uncomfortable. “No, sweetheart, you know that’s not permitted.”

“I promised his mom I wouldn’t let him be alone.”

“I’ll stay with him.” They both looked around to see Ally, her face blotchy from crying. She had known and loved Jack too. “I’ll go in with him, Noe.”

Noemi nodded, and they took Jack down to the autopsy room. She went back upstairs. She knew Lazlo wouldn’t allow her to work today, but she felt like she would go mad if she didn’t find anything to do. She checked in on Leo, still sleeping, and called her parents. They were still in shock.

“Sweetie, just look after Leo for us, would you? You know she doesn’t blame you; it was just the emotion.”

Noemi reassured her parents that she and Leo were fine. She went down to find some coffee, and as she sipped it, she saw Finn. He looked devastated, and she went to him. “It wasn’t your fault.”

Finn shook his head. “You can say that, but it won’t make any difference in how I feel.”

Noemi hugged him. “I know how that feels, Finn, I really do.”


The weight of the grief was overwhelming, and Noemi felt as if she were swimming in treacle with it. As she waited for the results of the autopsy, she went to see Lazlo. He didn’t seem surprised when she asked for some time off.

“Of course, Noe, that’s not a problem. But keep in touch, won’t you? I’ll worry.”

The results of the autopsy showed that Finn had done everything he could, but it was just damn bad luck that Jack stroked out. Leo took the news calmly. “So, there was really nothing anyone could have done.”

“Nothing.”

Leo tried to smile. “It doesn’t make me feel better.”

“What could? Come on, boo, let’s go to Mom and Dad’s. They’ll want to know.”

Leo rubbed her eyes. “I have to arrange the funeral home.”

Noemi bit her lip. “I’ve done it for you. I hope that was okay… it can be changed if you want. I just wanted to take that off your plate, to save you the details, but if I’ve overstepped—”

Leo shook her head. “No. Thank you, Noe.”

“We’ll go meet them in the morning. They’re going to take Jack soon. We’ll wait until he leaves then we’ll go home, yes?”


Their parents welcomed them with hugs but no words. There was nothing else to be said, after all. Noemi waited until her family went to bed before going outside into the cold night air. She sat on the front porch swing and called Rafa. “Hey, baby.”

“Hey, beautiful, how are you?”

“Sad. Listen… I didn’t mean to freak you out this morning.”

Rafa gave a low chuckle. “You didn’t. For what it’s worth, I feel the same way, but I don’t want to say the words over the phone.”

A small curl of warmth settled in her frozen body. “God, how did you get through this intact, Rafa? It’s unbearable.”

“I know, baby, and the answer is… I have no idea. One foot in front of the other, one breath after the last. The pain never leaves you—I won’t lie to you. But it… dims. Becomes such a part of the fabric of your soul that you learn to live with it.”

Noemi closed her eyes. “It’s like acid at the moment.”

“I know, babe. But it gets, if not better, then it gets… livable. Ugh, that sounds wrong, but it does.”

Noemi smiled down the phone. “You are the most wonderful man,” she said softly. “How’s Bepi?”

“He’s fine, excited because his feckless uncle is here.” She could hear the resentment in Rafa’s voice.

“Is he really that bad?”

“In the scheme of things, no. But that’s the right word: scheme. Zani’s blown his share of the trust fund, and now he wants money. He’s asking for a job.”

“And you don’t want to employ him?”

Rafa sighed. “If I don’t, he’ll go to Dad and leech from him until Dad’s broke. At least if I give Zani something to do, I can make sure he does it.”

“But?”

“I don’t trust him, Noe. There’s something going on with him I’m not getting. Ah, Jesus. I’m sick of talking about Zani. I miss you.”

Noemi chuckled. “Me too, baby. Listen, after the funeral, I’ll have more time for us. I’m taking some personal time.”

“Then if your family can spare you, maybe we could get away, just the two of us.”

“I’d like that.”


She said good night and sat outside for a while longer, trying to breathe in as much fresh air as she could. It had been a hellish few years, but this was the worse feeling yet. She had to trust in what Rafa was telling her—that it would become bearable if not healed. At the moment, she couldn’t see how.


Noemi didn’t see the man watching her from the street across from the house. He took in the soft curves of her figure, the sweetness of her face, even as sad as she looked. She was lovely, truly lovely.

It was such a shame she was involved with the Genova family.

“What a waste,” he whispered to himself. “What a truly shameful waste. Run, beautiful girl. Run far away from that family before it destroys you.”