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AFTER SEVENTY-TWO HOURS at the hospital, Nicholas is allowed to go home, and I'm there to greet him when he does. Hannah isn't with him, but their relationship is finally on the mend, and I see evidence of that as soon as he arrives. He sits in his favorite armchair and talks to Hannah on the phone, for over an hour. I have no words to describe the smile on his face, but I feel it as strongly as if I was wearing that smile myself.
Immediately after his conversation with Hannah, he moves throughout his house, locates every bottle of vodka, and dumps every bit of it. Again, words can't describe the sheer power of this moment. It's like watching an opera, and as the poison goes down the drain, the music would crescendo. The soprano would hit her highest notes as he tosses the empty bottles into the trash.
Johnny isn't here, and I'm glad he's not, because he would see me crying again. I don't see him until the next day, when we meet up and follow Nicholas to Freedom Elementary School, on his first day back to work. I see Johnny in the school parking lot, sitting on his motorcycle. When he stands and opens his arms, I practically fly into them.
“How's Nicholas doing?” Johnny asks, tossing a glance in the direction of my charge.
“Better. So much better!” I exclaim. “How are you?” It's only been a day since I've seen him, but a day without Johnny feels like an eternity.
His answer is staggering. I wasn't prepared for it.
“I think I'm ready to go Home... with you.”
I didn't expect to hear these words from a fallen angel. He wasn't kicked out of the spirit world, he chose to leave, so he could have gone back any time. After decades on Earth, he finally wants to return... for me? I hardly feel worth it.
“A-Are you sure?” I ask. “You really want to go back?”
“I do, yeah. I've thought it over,” Johnny says. “I might have to file a few reports with an Archangel or something, but it'll be worth it, if I get to start a new life with you.” After a moment's pause and a tiny chuckle, he adds, “Err... I mean... start a new afterlife with you, I guess.”
Johnny's joke is as corny as a joke can get, but I smile at it anyway. Honestly, I think I might be in love with him, I just haven't told him yet. His decision to go Home means a lot to me, more than I could ever express. Of course, it means I'll be going Home as well, and that will mean... saying farewell to Nicholas.
After three years as Nicholas' spirit guide, I think I'm finally ready to move on. He'll have a new guide, and that's okay. I feel good about his future. He has his daughter, he's dumped the vodka, he'll meet his granddaughter, and he's got a good friend in Evangeline. As soon as Nicholas starts cleaning her room, she rushes in with another box of cookies.
“Ohhh, Nicholas!” Evangeline cries his name with a frantic wave of her hands. “I've been so worried about you, honey. Are you okay?”
He replies, “I'm doing... surprisingly alright, Ms. Harris. Evangeline.” Cracking a smile at the box in her hands, he asks, “Those aren't for me, are they?”
“Of course they're for you!” she exclaims. “Are you really doing alright?”
“I'm alright, I promise,” Nicholas insists. “I can't keep accepting these gifts, though.”
“You can and you will,” the older woman insists, pushing the cookies into Nicholas' hands.
“Alright, but... I'll only accept them under one condition,” Nicholas proposes, as his smile grows. “You stay and eat one with me.”
“Oh, I'd really like that,” Evangeline says, easily matching his smile.
They wash their hands and take a short break in the cafeteria, eating smiley face cookies and chatting about pleasant topics. She doesn't question Nicholas about his time in the hospital, which is probably a good thing. Instead, they talk about his daughter, his daughter's soon-to-be-husband, and the grandchild he's eager to meet.
“I've got six grandchildren,” Evangeline says. “Six. Can you believe that? I feel blessed. And I hate to admit it, but at times, I like them better than I liked my own kids!”
They chuckle about her remark, have a second cookie, and Nicholas happily accepts the rest of box. “You can't keep giving me treats all the time, though!” Nicholas tells her. “You're gonna start to spoil me.”
“Someone's got to spoil you, for all this hard work you do for us,” Evangeline insists. “You keep our rooms so nice and clean. You're a good man, Nicholas Harvey.”
You're a good man, Nicholas Harvey. Her words stick with me, because I feel them too. I've always known he was a good man, but he refused to believe that about himself. With Hannah in his life, and the vodka down the drain, maybe he'll start to believe it again.
After work, I return to Nicholas' house with Johnny at my side. This is probably the last time I'll be returning. Tears fill my eyes as I wander around, looking over every room, saying farewell in my mind. For three long years, this was my house too.
I follow Nicholas to the bedroom, where he's sitting next to his wife's clothes. He still chooses an outfit for her every day. I doubt he'll ever stop doing that.
Johnny stays in the living room and lets me have my final moments with Nicholas. I sit beside my charge, next to his wife's empty clothes, and wipe too many tears from my eyes. He doesn't know I'm here, or that I've always been here for him—but that's okay, because he always felt like a friend to me, even if he couldn't see me.
“I love you, Nicholas,” I whisper to the man who's been a huge part of me for the last three years. I lean toward him, placing a kiss on his forehead, even though he can't feel it. “I'll always love you... and I'll always be proud of you, no matter what.”
I won't be his spirit guide anymore, but I'll always be his friend. Someday, when Nicholas passes away, he'll get to meet the girl who used to watch over him, the girl who only ever wanted the best for him.
I hope that day is far, far away.