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WHEN I RETURN HOME with Johnny, I take him to the garden I used to visit with my sister. Heaven is a paradise full of gardens. It's exactly what you would expect it to be.
In his leather jacket, Johnny looks a bit out of place, but not too much. It's not like spirits walk around in flowing robes and white dresses. Nevertheless, he looks a bit dangerous, like a thorn on a rose.
We walk to a bench, where we sit in silence and hold hands for awhile. I admit, I have a lot on my mind. I finally decided to end my contract as Nicholas' spirit guide, and it's... an adjustment. I'm excited for the future, but change is always intimidating.
Of course, the biggest change is having a boyfriend. The last time I sat on this bench, I was with my sister, years before she reincarnated. I always assumed I would have her forever. Having another partner is another huge change, but I'm excited about that too.
Glancing at Johnny, I ask, “So... are you going to be my partner from now on?”
Raising one of his dark, sculpted eyebrows, Johnny asks, “Are you asking if I'm your boyfriend, or are you asking if we'll be taking more missions together?”
“Um... both, I guess,” I answer with a chuckle.
“Well then, the answer to your question is... both.”
When Johnny winks at me, I almost swoon. He has such a swoony wink. He's so perfect, I can't believe he's actually my guy. “Soo... you're really my boyfriend?” I ask.
“I am,” he replies without hesitation. “That is... assuming you want me to be your boyfriend?”
“I think I'm okay with that.” I would finish my reply with a wink, but my winks are significantly less smooth, I'm sure. “Also... I would love to take on missions together, with new charges, as spirit guides.”
“As would I,” Johnny says. “You know, as soon as you stepped into Harry's Diner, I knew you'd be the end of me.”
“The end of you?” I shrill. “Is that a bad thing?”
“No, it's a good thing. A really good thing,” Johnny corrects me. “I knew you would end my rapscallion ways. If I wanted a good girl, I was going to have to be a good boy. I saw you, I fell in love, and I accepted it right away.”
He fell in love? Really? I don't know if I believe that, but it's nice to hear. I tease him, “You know, when you use a word like rapscallion, you're really revealing your age.”
My gorgeous new boyfriend asks, “Correct me if I'm wrong, but... I think you lived in the same time as me, didn't you?”
I give him a nod, but it's a slow nod, a heavy nod. It's a nod that says I don't want to reveal too much.
Regardless, he should probably know the truth. So I tell him, “I lived a lot longer than you, you know. You died in your thirties, but... I was kind of old when I died. I wasn't very old, but... I was a lot older than you.”
“So what?”
“So... if you saw what I looked like then, you wouldn't have liked me!” I exclaim. “Do you want to see what I look like before I shifted? You'd probably run far, far away.”
Johnny and I sit in silence for a moment or two. I don't mind the silence. I enjoy the breeze, and the scent of the flowers, carried by the wind. I could sit here for hours, and I would never tire of it. How could anyone ever tire of tranquility?
A minute passes, maybe two, and Johnny finally says, “Nothing could make me run away from you, Lillie.”
I want to test to him, to know he loves me for who I am. While we're sitting on the bench, I “shift” my appearance in front of him.
Suddenly, I'm old again. My strawberry blond hair is gray. I have bags under my eyes, and wrinkles on my forehead. I don't have all my teeth. Slowly, shivering, I face his direction. I watch his face as he studies me.
Shockingly... he doesn't look too horrified.
In fact, he takes one of my liver-spotted hands and raises it to his lips.
He says, “You're beautiful now, you were beautiful then, you'll be beautiful forever. You were always beautiful, Lillie. I can't be the the only man who ever realized that.”
With tears in my eyes, I shift back to the form I'm most comfortable in—the twenty-something with soft skin, a full set of teeth, and strawberry blonde hair. Believe it or not, there are bees in the afterlife, and they always flock to my hair. I think it reminds them of a flower.
“You're too good to me, Johnny,” I whisper. To be honest, I can barely bring myself to speak. I can't believe he could still love me, even after he's seen the real me. He's seen the old lady, the woman I lived to be. He knows I was a spinster, unwanted and unloved. How could he possibly want me, knowing that?
For some reason... he does. His lips find their way back to me—to my mouth, to my neck, to my cheeks and chin. His mouth rains kisses all over my face, and its bliss.
“Actually... I'm not good enough for you, Lillie,” Johnny whispers. His voice is soft and unsure, not unlike mine. “I don't know how I could ever be good enough for you, but... I'm going to try.”
When I close my eyes, I feel my lips curling into a smile. When he kisses them, that smile broadens—and broadens more when I feel him squeezing my hand.
I love this man. I think he loves me too.
He'll be a worthy partner—not only in the afterlife, but in every life we choose to live together from this moment on.