Mari knew Tony was holding her, and she appreciated it, but she couldn’t seem to stop crying. She was so tired and so worried about Tiny. The day had been horrible. She’d almost been killed, and now her dog was in peril.
Burying her head against Tony’s hard shoulder, she sobbed until exhaustion robbed her even of tears. His hand, stroking her hair as if she were his pet, comforted her strangely. She couldn’t recollect anyone ever trying to soothe her this way. Is this what mothers were for? she wondered. Or fathers?
Or lovers?
In the faint hope that the last might succeed in this instance, she lifted her head and gazed at Tony’s face. It looked pale and drawn in the lantern light, as if he were bushed, too, and was only holding on to his strength because she needed him. She loved him very much and wondered if he’d like to know it, or if he’d be appalled. She didn’t want to risk whatever tenuous hold they had on a relationship by admitting the state of her heart. She did, however, feel compelled to thank him for helping her with Tiny. And for offering her a shoulder to cry on. Literally.
“Thanks for all your help, Tony.”
Slowly he opened his eyes and gazed down at her. “You don’t need to thank me, Mari.”
“That’s very nice of you, but I’m grateful anyway.”
“I’m always available for you, sweetheart. You ought to know that by now.”
She blinked up at him, unsure what those very kind words meant exactly. They sounded rather like a lover’s, but Mari’d lived a hard life and wasn’t accustomed to good things happening to her. Also, she’d hate like the devil to make a fool of herself.
He had, however, called her sweetheart several times this evening. This was the first time Mari’s brain had been unoccupied enough to register the fact. Sweetheart was an endearment not often used on casual acquaintances. At least, it wasn’t in Mari’s circles. She wasn’t sure about the customs prevailing in Tony’s more lofty society.
His grin came out of nowhere. “You’re staring at me. Do I have dirt on my nose or something?”
Startled because she’d become lost in a fog, she grinned back. “No. I’m just . . . looking.”
“Like what you see?”
His soft voice caressed her senses as his hand had been caressing her hair. It was only then Mari realized he’d taken out the pins and begun running his fingers through her hair, as if he were combing it out.
Afraid to speak for fear of sounding or looking like a lovesick idiot, Mari nodded. She sure did like what she saw. What’s more, she no longer thought of him as only a rich, handsome man. She’d come to know that, while he might be unfamiliar with the hard side of life, he wasn’t a snob. He was very nice, in fact. Kind. Magnanimous, even. And he wasn’t afraid of working hard. Or of blood. She shivered, and he hugged her more tightly.
“Are you cold?” he asked solicitously.
“No. I’m warm.”
“Me, too.”
She felt him kiss her hair where his hand had just stroked, and she sighed deeply, wishing they could stay wrapped up in each other forever. Because she wanted to, she tilted her head up and sought his lips.
He took in a sharp breath when he realized what she wanted, but he obliged her, kissing her slowly, caressingly, lovingly. At least—Mari tried to be realistic about things—the kiss felt loving. Her half of it was; she wasn’t sure about his. She kissed him with all the love in her body, soul, and heart, bestowing them upon him freely.
“Mari.”
“Yes?”
“I . . . I . . .”
“Yes?”
“Oh, God.”
Evidently unable to think of anything to say that meant anything under these circumstances, Tony gave up and showed her what he meant. That’s the way Mari interpreted his actions. He kissed her passionately, using his lips and tongue in ways Mari hadn’t known were possible. She was an eager student and caught on immediately, kissing him back in kind.
“Here,” he said after several delicious minutes. “We can’t stay here on the floor.”
“No,” she agreed. “Let’s use the bed.”
By the light of the lanterns, Mari saw that he was shocked at her suggestion. Naturally, she became defensive. “That’s what you want, isn’t it?” She hadn’t meant to sound quite as challenging as all that.
He gazed at her soberly. “Yes, it’s what I want, Mari, but I won’t do anything to hurt you.” His voice was thick.
She shook her head. “You won’t hurt me.” She wasn’t really all that sure of herself, but she did know she didn’t want Tony to quit now. Mari knew what went on between men and women. She’d honestly not thought about herself ever being with a man, but she knew that if ever she were to experience the physical side of love, she wanted it to be with Tony. If she lived and died alone after this, so be it. At least she’d have known the man she loved in the most intimate way possible.
Still, he hesitated. Puzzled and a little hurt, Mari said, “What’s the matter, Tony? Don’t you want me?” That would be about the most humiliating circumstance she could conceive of, but she felt compelled to ask.
“How can you ask me that?” He sounded cranky. “It must be obvious even to you that I want you. But-but, we’re not married.”
Self-evident, Mari thought sourly. “Listen, Tony, if you’re going to talk this to death, then forget it.” If he went on in this vein, the moment would be spoiled and the opportunity lost. Once thought entered into a spontaneous activity, the activity lost all its fun.
He gazed at her for approximately ten more seconds then gave up. Mari could detect the exact moment when his caution was subsumed by his desire, and she thanked her stars for small favors. She rose and took his hand and led him to her small bed shoved against a wall.
The rag rug beside the bed was one Mari had made herself, during the cold winter of two years prior, when it had been too cold to work the mine and she’d had nothing else to do. She’d always been glad she’d done it, since the bare wooden floor could be perniciously cold of a winter’s morning. Now she was glad she’d done it because it made the room look less pitiful.
During the day she covered her bed with a shabby but colorful spread and propped cushions on it so it could serve as a sofa when folks came to call. She shoved the cushions aside and sat, guiding Tony to do likewise. He did and took her in his arms.
He didn’t kiss her again at once, but whispered tenderly, “Will this be your first time, Mari?”
Shocked that he’d even ask her that, she jerked back and stared at him. “I beg your pardon? What kind of girl do you think I am, anyhow?”
She was surprised when he threw his head back and started laughing. She didn’t know whether she should be offended or not, and was still contemplating whether to laugh with him or slap his mouth shut when he solved her problem by saying, “I think you’re the most wonderful kind of girl, Mari Pottersby. You’re a true original, a paragon of hardy womanhood, a glorious natural creature. You’re not only lovely to look at, but marvelous to know.”
Oh. That kind of took the wind out of her sails, but she enjoyed hearing it. In fact, she felt herself flush and tucked her chin in, embarrassed. Tony tilted it up again. “I like it when you lift your chin, Mari. I can always tell when you’re going to light into me by that chin of yours.”
“Really?” She’d had no idea.
“Your chin is like Tiny’s tail. It’s a clue to your mood.”
Because she didn’t want to make too much out of his words in case they were only flattery, she said jokingly, “Are you comparing me to a dog?”
“I sure am. You’re as unusual and perfect as your unusual and perfect dog. I can’t think of another creature I’d rather be like than Tiny.”
“I’m still not sure I find the comparison complimentary, Tony Ewing. Tiny’s big as a house, and. I’m not.”
“No.” His voice went low and caressing again. “You’re definitely not. You’re slender and lithe and marvelous. I’ve been wanting to make love with you for the longest time, Mari.”
“You have?” Good heavens.
“I have.” He held her by her shoulders and gazed into her eyes. “But I won’t do it unless you want me to.”
She swallowed. Blast. She was always having to make difficult decisions. Didn’t anything in life ever just happen naturally? As ever, Mari took the bull by the horns and dealt with it. “I want you to.”
Tony’s fervent “Thank God” sounded genuine to Mari. She guessed he really did want her.
Then he kissed her, and her question about things happening naturally was in a way being answered. His passion was so hot, it seemed to melt her very bones and she sank against him, willing him to do whatever he wanted with her. He made her body sing. She hadn’t realized how delightful a man’s hands could feel against her skin. Which made sense. How should she?
“You’re beautiful,” he whispered at one point as he was unbuttoning her shirtwaist.
Mari almost believed him because he sounded so sincere. She wondered if he found her tanned skin off-putting, since refined ladies were always depicted with skin as white as snow. But she decided to give herself break. If the man said she was beautiful, she’d believe him. At least for tonight. She’d deal with tomorrow when it came.
When he’d undone the last button, he slid his hands inside her shirtwaist and slipped it aside, gazing at her modestly covered torso, his eyes hot with desire. Mari figured she ought to be shy, but she wasn’t. She loved the way he looked at her; she’d never even imagined she could stir Tony Ewing to lust. It seemed so incongruous.
“You’re a beautiful woman, Mari.”
There he went again, calling her beautiful. She liked it. A lot. She didn’t respond in words because she didn’t know which ones to use. Instead, she closed her eyes and let her body take over and do what it wanted to do. She was tired of thinking all the time.
He leaned toward her and pressed his lips to her naked flesh, on that little dip between her neck and her shoulder, and she darned near fainted. When he feathered warm kisses across her shoulder and down to her chest, she uttered a low moan that meant nothing but pleasure.
“Don’t be afraid, Mari,” Tony whispered raggedly. And he slipped her shirtwaist from her shoulders until it puddled around her hips.
“I’m not afraid.” And she wasn’t. How strange.
“I’m going to take your shoes off.”
“All right.”
In a trice, he was on his knees in front of her, and Mari’s heart lurched. This pose was the same one he’d adopted earlier in the day, and it still reminded her of illustrations she’d seen of gentlemen proposing to ladies. Only Tony’s proposal wasn’t the same as the ones proffered by those fictional gentlemen. Her insides somersaulted once in a sickening fashion before she squelched these most recent thoughts as unproductive. She reminded herself that this might well be the only chance in however long her life lasted to experience the act of love with Tony Ewing. She wasn’t about to allow scruples to spoil the experience.
Her footwear might have embarrassed her, had she still been worried about the discrepancies in their relative social situations. This evening, what society thought didn’t matter. Mari decreed it so. Nothing would ruin her first—perhaps her only—adventure with love.
“We have to get you some new shoes, Mari,” Tony murmured as he pulled her right shoe off.
We do, do we? Mari watched Tony without speaking, even though she knew good and well her footwear was her concern, not his. She was fully willing to make love to Tony Ewing tonight, but she wouldn’t be a kept woman. Ever. She had a mine to run.
Oh, Lord, there was the blasted mine again, intruding, as it always did, into every aspect of her life. Resolutely, she thrust the Marigold Mine into the corner of her mind where her scruples lay huddled.
Tony was shaking his head now. “How long have you had these stockings, Mari?”
She blinked down at his head. His hair looked dark in the lantern light, although Mari knew it to be ash blond, almost golden. He carefully rolled one of her stockings down her right leg, then dangled it in front of her face, his mouth curled in an impish grin. His eyes looked green now.
“I beg your pardon?” She’d forgotten his question.
“How long have you had these? It looks as if they’d been mended a million times.”
She grinned back at him, finding humor in the situation instead of a reason to feel humiliated, which seemed a step in the right direction. “They probably have. Stockings aren’t the first thing I buy when I get money.”
“I should say not. We’ll have to remedy that situation, too.”
“Tony . . .”
“Yes?” He glanced up from rolling down her left stocking.
It had been on the tip of her tongue to tell him she’d be no man’s mistress and that she’d buy her own shoes and stockings in the future, thank you very much, but the words wouldn’t come. A declaration of such a nature would put a damper on the evening, and she wouldn’t make it. “Nothing.” He still gazed up at her with that heart-stopping grin on his beautiful mouth, so she said softly, “I like what you’re doing.”
His grin broadened into a smile “Good. I do, too.”
He tossed the second stocking aside and surprised Mari by lifting her feet, one at a time, and kissing them. She hadn’t known people did such extraordinary things. How . . . how . . . how stunningly sweet.
“I don’t want you to live in want anymore, Mari,” he whispered as he gently lowered her feet to the rag carpet once more.
That one was easy. “I don’t want me to, either.” As if there was anything she could do about it. Still, she gave him an answering smile.
“Good.”
Good? Whatever did that mean? Mari didn’t ask for fear she wouldn’t like his answer.
He stood abruptly, and Mari found herself at eye level with the front of his trousers, the fabric of which bulged alarmingly. She swallowed, knowing what that extremely large bulge meant.
“Be with you in a second,” Tony muttered as he fumbled with his shirt buttons, He wore no collar or jacket in deference to the heat of the day, and he made quick work of his shirt, shucking it off in seconds.
Too disconcerted by that bulge to stare at his trousers, Mari lifted her head and looked at his chest instead. At the moment, it was covered with a cotton undershirt—oh. No, it wasn’t. Not any longer. Tony had ripped the shirt over his head in one graceful, shrugging gesture, and Mari got to see a man’s naked chest for the very first time.
And what a chest it was. Covered with light brown, curly hair, Tony’s chest was a work of art. When her gaze slid sideways, and she inspected his arms, she swallowed again She stared, rapt. “Merciful heavens, Tony, where did you get those muscles?”
“I was on the rowing team in college. It’s hard work, although it’s a pretty useless occupation compared to most. I mean, we used our muscles to propel a sporting craft, not do anything worthwhile with them.”
The results of plying those oars looked worthwhile to Mari. “Um, I think sports are good for boys.” And if all sports resulted in muscles like those, they were good for girls, too, albeit in a different way.
But Tony shook his head. “Knowing you has made me reevaluate everything I’ve ever believed about life.”
His words so shocked her that she left off devouring his musculature with her greedy gaze, and her glance flew to his face. He looked down at her with such warmth and tenderness, Mari at once became skittish and let her gaze slip to the rag rug.
“It’s true, Mari.” He unbuckled his belt, then unbuttoned his trousers, and slid them down his legs. As Mari gaped at his muscular thighs, he sat beside her and took her hands in his. “I didn’t understand how frivolous my life was until I met you.”
“Um, really?”
“Really. You made me ashamed of the way I lived.”
That was so sweet. And so utterly ridiculous. “Let’s not get carried away here, Tony. If I had a choice, I’d live the way you do, believe me. Anyone would.”
He laughed and lifted her hands to his lips. As soon as her flesh touched his, gooseflesh sprung up on her arms, traveled across her torso, dimpled her nipples, and continued down the rest of her body, until she felt as though she were one massive, throbbing tingle.
“Of course, everyone wants money. Money’s important. What I meant was that, until I met you, I didn’t know what selflessness was. I’d never seen it in action before.”
“Oh.” Selflessness? Her? The word didn’t mean a thing to Mari. She’d always only thought she was trying to survive.
“Yes,” he said. “Oh, forget all that, and come to me. Come here.”
Thank God he pulled her into his arms, because Mar’s brain had started working again, and she knew better than to trust it not to spoil everything. His kiss was more fervent this time; harder, more insistent. Mari responded with gusto.
Little by little, he lowered her to the bed, so that she lay on her back. She didn’t realize he’d been skillfully undoing the ties to her camisole until the garment fell away, leaving her bare bosom exposed to his avid gaze. She wasn’t shocked. She knew she had nice, firm breasts. They weren’t massive; thank God, but she believed they’d make a nice handful for Tony Ewing.
He proved her correct in mere seconds. As his hands cupped her breasts, Mari’s eyes slid shut. She reveled in the sensation of his fingers caressing her sensitive nipples. When his tongue flicked one nipple, she didn’t think she’d ever felt a more exquisite marvel. Every cell in her body sang with pleasure.
Then he took her breast into his mouth and Mari wasn’t sure she’d survive so much glory. The only way to bear it was to use her own hands, so she did, exploring Tony’s hard body with as much interest as he was investing in hers.
She’d not understood before how intensely stimulating a man’s body could be. She’d never felt any inclination to explore, say, Gordon Shay’s lumpy muscles and hairy arms. She wanted to feel every inch of Tony’s smoother, more refined musculature. And more besides.
She wanted to taste him, to nip parts of him, to discover every nuance of his flesh.
Because her resolve not to allow her thoughts to interfere with her pleasure was still locked in a corner of her mind, she acted on her desire. Tony groaned with pleasure when she found his nipples and tasted them as her hands explored his marvelous chest.
Although Mari knew her body was slim, almost sinewy, by modern standards, molded into strength by hard work rather than into softness by feminine pursuits, Tony didn’t seem to mind. His hands explored every nook and cranny of her naked flesh with evident rapture. Which was all right by Mari. She was every bit as enraptured by his body.
“You’re so soft, Mari. But you’re so damned strong.”
Although she wasn’t sure she should ask, she did it anyway. “Is that a good thing?”
He chuckled. “It’s a very good thing.”
“Oh. Good.” What a relief. When he’d spoken of her strength, she’d feared he’d been put off by her lack of womanly fleshiness.
“You’ve got a strong body and a strong mind. You’re the perfect woman.”
Good God. Mari couldn’t believe he’d actually said that, although she decided not to ask in case she was right. It was much nicer to think he truly found her body attractive. And stimulating.
His hands had been exploring, inch by inch, until they’d reached a crucial part of her anatomy. Although a little disconcerted, Mari was yet more interested than shy. She wondered what he’d do when he got to that thatch of curls between her legs. Those curls were even darker than her hair, and the portion of her body they hid was at present creating all sorts of havoc in the rest of her body.
She didn’t have long to wonder. As his hand cupped her femininity, Mari bucked involuntarily. That’s where all the pressure was building. That was the spot, all right. She whispered, “Oh, Tony!”
“Don’t be afraid, Mari.”
He sounded fairly desperate, and Mari longed to put his fears to rest, but she didn’t know how to without sounding like a wanton hussy. Instead, she did what her body wanted her to do, and lifted her hips so that the nub of her pleasure pressed against his palm. He responded instantly by probing her passage with a finger.
She swallowed and let go of an involuntary “Oh!”
“You’re beautiful, Mari,” he murmured, again sounding moderately desperate. “So beautiful.”
How nice. She wanted to shriek at him to keep doing what he’d been doing with his fingers, but again modesty held her back. That was a laugh. There was absolutely nothing modest about this situation any longer.
Since that was the case, Mari decided she couldn’t lose any respect in his eyes, provided he still had any for her, so she whispered, “Oh, please, Tony, keep doing that.”
Rather than horrifying or repelling him, her words seemed to give Tony’s hands a new life. He murmured something she didn’t catch and renewed his ministrations to her most secret place, leaning over to kiss her at the same time. She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him back. The kiss progressed as her passion mounted, until their tongues were thrusting as furiously as Tony’s fingers.
Then the climax came, and Mari’s few remaining inhibitions flew out of her body. Waves of pleasure claimed her, and she cried out with amazement, not having anticipated the intensity of the joy a man and a woman could share.
She realized Tony had been watching her only when her spasms of pleasure subsided and she opened her eyes. He smiled down at her.
With a hand that felt as heavy as lead, Mari stroked his lovely hair back from his head. She didn’t know what to say. Or do.
Fortunately for them both, Tony knew exactly what to say and do. “That was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, Mari.”
She blinked up at him, thinking how nice he was, really. Even if he was as rich as Midas. Although she was vaguely aware that he hadn’t enjoyed himself quite as much as she had, she was rather surprised when he suddenly stood up.
When he stripped his underwear down his legs, and his enormous sex popped into clear view, she gasped. Good heavens. A tiny doubt wriggled, its way into her chest for only a moment, before Tony spoke once more, again reassuring her.
“Don’t be afraid.”
Mari couldn’t recall the number of times he’d told her not to be afraid this evening, but so far he’d been absolutely right. This was nothing to be afraid of. In fact, it was spectacularly exciting. Glorious, even.
He got back onto the bed, straddling her body with his powerful legs. “I hope this won’t hurt you, Mari,” he whispered.
She only shook her head, hoping he’d understand that she meant the shake to mean it didn’t matter. Tony Ewing had just given her the greatest physical pleasure of her life. She wasn’t going to begrudge him a twinge or two when she lost her virginity.
As it turned out, it didn’t hurt at all. Perhaps because she’d had to work so hard in her life, her maiden’s barrier gave up its hold at once and without a trace of pain. The sensation of fullness she experienced was a novel one, but she accustomed herself to it quickly. Tony was panting as if he were running a race. It took Mari a moment to realize his condition was brought about by the great restraint he was showing in deference to her recent virginity, and her heart was touched.
“I’m fine, Tony,” she whispered, stroking his hair and arms and back and everything else she could reach. She loved him so much. If she hadn’t been concerned with his feelings on the matter, she might have wept with the overwhelming love filling her heart and soul. But she didn’t want to scare him.
Which was really rather amusing since he’d been concerned about her own fears and physical well-being. He was so sweet.
“Are you sure?”
She heard the strain in his voice and hastened to assure him. “I’m very sure. You feel good inside me, Tony. Wonderful.”
Apparently that was the right thing to say, because the bonds of his constraint snapped at once, and he began to plunge almost wildly inside her. Merciful heavens, what an interesting phenomenon.
She’d just begun to understand where this could lead when Tony, unable to hold himself back any longer, cried out and with one last thrust, spilled his seed inside her. He strained for another couple of seconds, as if squeezing the last ounce of himself into her, and then he collapsed at her side.
Unable to help it, Mari allowed a very few tears to escape. They trickled down her cheeks, and she was able to wipe them away before Tony opened his eyes. He still panted, as if he’d run a marathon.