Chapter Twenty-One

Vivi wondered if he liked tea or coffee. She stared at the kettle she’d set on the stove, heating water.

Was Ky a breakfast eater?

How would he look the morning after in daylight?

She turned, sensing his presence.

He filled the entryway of the small kitchen space. She’d never forget how he looked right now with the messy fall of his dirty-blond hair pushed behind an ear as it dried from a shower. His fresh shave showed off the angles of his chin and straight nose. The skin of his neck was strong down to where it met the scooped edge of the T-shirt. She remembered how he looked last night—raw, undone, and wild.

“Do you like tea or coffee?” She retied the knot of the terrycloth robe she’d found at the bottom of the closet.

“Whichever one you’re making, I’ll have.” His lips curled into a smile.

Oh my. If he smiled more often, its magnetism could steal any living heart.

“Want me to make breakfast?” he asked.

“If you want something not out of a tin, then that’s probably smartest.”

He moved close to slide his hands over the robe across her shoulders. He caressed her ass.

She breathed in the shampoo in his hair. They would part ways one way or another the next day—that he’d made clear—but she’d remember last night for the rest of her life. It was that special. Her body knew it. Her heart…not consulting it right now. She’d miss sliding her hands through his hair while he was deep inside her, the softness of it curling against her fingers.

Here she was making a list again. There were at least a dozen things she was going to miss about him. I’m going to lose him.

She didn’t want to lose him, but he’d decided last night was a one-time only. It was in the sadness of his eyes and tenseness of his shoulders. They’d had their spectacular moment, and she’d need to learn to live with the idea of a no-repeat.

She didn’t wait for him but stood on tiptoes to take his mouth with hers. Her hand slid over his shoulder into his hair as she pressed close and kept her eyes tightly sealed over the threatening tears. Just the thought of never having this again caused tears to form.

He pulled back. “Good morning.”

She forced a laugh and kept her lashes lowered a moment longer than necessary to compose herself. Get it together.

The inner pep talk epically failed when she met his intense stare. She feared her shit was way beyond getting it together. How could she feel so much for someone she’d known such a short time? This wasn’t just about sex. The bond of mutually shared torture and historical understanding of what each had been though created a level of trust that flowed deep.

He hadn’t offered more than last night. It was no one’s fault but her own for welcoming him into her soul. But she trusted him, through whatever might come, to protect her and maybe even protect her heart.

“You okay?” he asked.

“Yep. Sure.” She flashed a bright smile. “Fine.”

He smoothed the hair off her forehead. “You’re not fine. I’m sure as hell not. Whatever happened last night left me tangled.” He leaned in to kiss her neck. “But whatever it was is a road to nowhere.”

“Why can’t we choose us?”

“We can’t be together. We also can’t be an on-and-off thing. We just can’t be anything. I’m not my own person. If the monarch discovered that I have a weakness—you—then he’d order we kill you. It happened once before when I found someone. They arranged for her to get swept into something evil and out of her control, then asked us to eliminate her.”

“You did it?” She recoiled and said on a whisper, “One of you killed her?”

“No. Couldn’t.” He sighed and dropped his chin. “The Crown saw her as a distraction and a point of leverage enemies could use over me, which they considered unacceptable. When we wouldn’t do it and the curse was trying to kill all of us for disobeying, our handler hired an assassin without our knowledge. She died. I wish I could forget, but her death is on me. I won’t let yours be my fault, too. I care about you too much.” He kissed down the column of her neck to her shoulder and kept going until he was level with one of her breasts. His hand pushed her robe aside. He sucked at the curve and nipple. She groaned and plunged her hands into his hair. “I could never hurt you. But you’re definitely a distraction, a good one. If anyone threatened you or used you as leverage over me, I’d do anything to keep you safe.”

Her chest burned with bitterness. The concept of him feeling like this for someone not her made her wish to discredit the mysterious dead woman and do anything to erase her from his mind.

As if reading her thoughts he said, “It was never like this with her. I can tell you’re wondering, but don’t. What you and I have become makes it a thousand times harder to walk away. It’s also why I will leave. I have to do it in order to protect you from me in the only way I can.” He lifted her onto a counter-height chair and lowered himself to the floor.

“Look at me,” he ordered gently.

She finally met his gaze.

“Don’t regret a single minute of our time together, okay?” he said.

“How can I not?” Tears welled, damn it. “I’m sorry. I’m not handling this well. Everything has been a fantasy that has no happily ever after. It opened up dreams. I wasn’t thinking, and all of this kind of smacked into me.”

“You thought with your heart.”

She melted, even though she hurt at the same time from the future loss of him.

He kissed along the arch of each foot and then worked his way up her leg, pushing the robe out of the way. He pressed a line of kisses into her inner thigh straight to her center where he took her in his mouth.

“Oh my God, Ky.”

He lifted away, deep affection flooding his face. “I would stay right here and fuck you all day…hell, all the time, if I could.”

“That makes two of us.” If she were smart, she’d put distance between them right now, preparing for his absence. Instead, she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him back to her mouth.

They didn’t have all the time in the world ahead of them. They had only a little over an hour before he and his brothers had their meeting with his handler. She allowed the strands of his hair to caress her fingers. She would lock his memory into her heart and mind. No matter what happened, she’d never forget.

For right now, she had this. She had him.