Chapter Twenty-Six

Vivi grabbed her head as if holding it might stop its throbbing. Disoriented in the dark, she sat up slowly, since the world wobbled with each small move. The cushy surface was nothing like the usual uncompromising benches. No sanitizing cleanser saturated her nostrils.

You’re not in there. This isn’t the prison.

Then why did her head hurt like it used to when she woke up without any memory of how or when she’d fallen asleep? The thud in her temples dulled enough to let her look around.

She swung her legs over the edge of the bed. Too fast. Pain ripped through her skull as if something else was trying to take over. Memory crashed in of the little German man saying, “The prompts aren’t taking well enough for us to trust her on her own.”

You can’t have my mind, she thought. Get out of my head.

As she grabbed for a bedside lamp, desperate to illuminate her location and escape the darkness, she knocked a water bottle off the table. Her surroundings triggered no memory. Although not having any recollection of how she got here was not a new situation, this was definitely not the prison.

A deep inhale didn’t pick up Ky, but there were other lycans around. She detected Roman and Flynn. The room smelled clean in a way that didn’t scream sanitization but instead, laundry detergent.

Where was Ky? She needed him. He’d help her understand what happened to her.

The meeting. The last she remembered was someone named Slate taunting Ky and Roman. Then nothing. She pushed her brain to remember. Had she been hit in the head and passed out?

A chill slithered down her back. She’d been triggered.

What had she done?

It had to be why she couldn’t remember, since she was no longer imprisoned by people who regularly shot her up with sedatives and God knew what else. Her heart raced. Had she done whatever she’d been told to do? Why couldn’t she remember?

Where are you, Ky? He wouldn’t leave her unless something happened to him.

Had she hurt him? Said something to him? Injured him?

No falling apart. You know nothing. Get the facts. Figure out where you are.

Her stomach clenched tight to the point bile singed the back of her throat. Everything went cold, not because she was being watched, which she’d detected for the last minute.

Roman stood in the doorway, glaring the same eyebrow-pinched distrust he had the first moment she’d met him. He had his arms crossed and hands tucked into his armpits.

“Where’s Ky?” she asked.

Instead of answering, Roman asked, “Do you know your name? Do you know who I am?”

She blinked.

“I need an answer.” He uncrossed to draw a gun and point it at her.

“I know who the hell I am. You’re Roman. My head hurts but I…” She swallowed hard and pressed her fingers into her temples, which did nothing to alleviate the headache. “They did it, didn’t they? They ordered me to do something. What did I do?”

“You killed Ky.” He lowered the gun and stared as if trying to read if she were still activated.

“No,” she rasped out. In a small voice, she forced out, “That’s not possible. He can’t be dead. How?”

“We all knew he’d never hurt you if you went for him.”

Heaviness expanded outward from her chest. “He’s so much stronger than me. I couldn’t have. It’s impossible. The two of you would’ve stopped me.”

“Is it that impossible?”

She dropped her head. “He would let me hurt him. To save me, he would die.”

“Between you and the sniper…he’s gone. Don’t you remember?”

She swung her head back and forth. “I don’t believe it. I need proof he’s gone.”

“He protected you from snipers and got too many holes. Then you… it’s not like I took fucking pictures.”

She curled in on herself. He couldn’t be gone. It made no sense.

What if…

Pain ripped through her. She rubbed her chest as if to inspire her lungs to work, not that air moved any easier.

Words would barely come out. Those that did came out shaky. “It’s not true. You’re lying.”

Roman didn’t reply.

Who was going to keep her safe when the nightmares hit? Who would help her discern reality from nightmare?

You’re safe.

Ky’s words… His deep voice rang through her head.

Only, she wasn’t safe anymore. Not without him. Was this even real? Was this a new nightmare?

The little German’s laugh rang in her ears as he flicked a syringe of fluid as if to remove bubbles before pressing its tip into her thigh. She cried out and grabbed her thigh. You’re the less useful sister. Let’s see if we can make you functional.

She pressed her hands against her ears and rocked back and forth. “Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. You’re not real.” She fisted her hands in the sheet beneath her, focusing on the fabric to convince her brain she wasn’t there. This bedroom was real. “I need Ky. I need his help.”

No crying. Not going to let them fall.

“He’s gone, Vivi.” Wrinkles formed between his eyebrows. Moments later, Roman touched her arm.

She flinched.

“I’m real,” Roman said. “Whatever’s in your head…whatever you think’s going on with your leg, it’s a memory. You’re not in the prison.”

You’re safe. Ky’s voice echoed in her head again.

“Where’s Ky?” she pleaded.

“He’s gone.” Roman didn’t break eye contact.

“I don’t know if I can do this without him.” She drew in an uneven breath. “Do you think I’m still under orders to do whatever they asked of me? I don’t remember. I don’t feel compelled to do anything.”

“I don’t know.”

She just wanted to hide somewhere and rock back and forth. “I’m scared. I don’t want to hurt anyone.” I want Ky back.

“Then don’t.”

“Why am I here? Why let me live?” Vivi was phenomenal at reading people, lycans…any being. Roman didn’t come off as being upset about Ky’s death. His level of control made no sense, not when they behaved protectively toward one other. Not as committed to family as these guys were. Perhaps he was immune to death and didn’t convey as much distress as she’d expect.

Roman said, “I promised him I’d help you fix your head. He also made you a promise about meeting your sister, which I’ll honor, but here’s the deal. I don’t trust what they’ve done to you. We’ll never know if someone can say something that’ll make you flip into assassin mode again. Hell, Slate said something about a phone, and you went all robot serial killer on us.”

“I don’t know how to kill anyone. I don’t do violence. I couldn’t…”

“You’ve been trained and brainwashed. I saw it. The same as your sister.”

“Where is she?”

“She’s here.” He compressed his lips. “Nova isn’t who you remember. Here’s what’s going to happen. I’m going to allow you to see her because I promised that you’d be given a chance. So I will. I’m going to let you meet with your sister for one hour. Then we must make a decision. Either I erase what they did in your head or—”

“There’s a cure?” she interrupted.

“It’s an injection that will make you forget everything. It’s brain napalm. You’ll forget who you are, maybe even what you are. Your entire old life will be gone. That’s what Nova did to be free. When I found her, she remembered nothing.”

“Nothing?”

“Complete amnesia. She didn’t even know she was lycan.”

“How’s it possible to forget everything? Even what we are?”

“We think she used both hypnosis and the injection. She wanted to be sure she erased everything.”

Even me? Why would she abandon me? “What if I choose not to erase everything?”

“Then I’ll kill you. I have no choice. Not with what they triggered you to do. I’m forced to protect the world against paranormal terrorists. More so, the monarch.” He held up his wrist with his curse band. “You’re a risk…a terrorist right now. It’s not you, but what they did to you that you have no control over. I’m sorry.”

“Got it. Erase my brain or death.” She scooted a few feet away from him on the bed. His nearness didn’t comfort her like Ky’s would. Instead, he made her edgy to bolt. “I can’t believe Nova left me in there. That she elected to leave me and erase her life so there was no chance she could help me.”

“I don’t know what happened. I’m warning you, she doesn’t know. It hurts her a lot when she tries to remember. Please don’t do that to her. Don’t ask her to remember. Perhaps she was led to believe you were dead.”

Vivi dropped her head. “That makes sense.”

“She doesn’t remember you, but she’s curious to meet you. I want you to take some time before you meet her downstairs to think about what you feel is important for her to know about your family. Don’t talk about being imprisoned.” His face iced over. “If you try to betray us or hurt her, I’ll kill you. Hell, she will. She’s a badass when it comes to assassin skills. You may have some training, but she’s scary.”

“If I erase my past, then what? Are you going to dump me somewhere as a blank to figure out my life?”

“I’ll let you work out specifics with Nova on that.”