The further away I got from the campfire the worse I felt. At first, it came and went. A flash of nausea, a tightness in my chest, but now it was more like a tingly sensation all over my body. I swear I could actually feel the blood pumping through my veins. All I wanted to do was stop, lay down in the fetal position, and wait it out, but I needed to get to my house. I knew that if I made it home that I would at least be safely inside the confines of my room, so I pushed ahead with all the speed I could muster.
Despite the fact that I felt like I might faint at any moment, I was almost sprinting by the time I could see our front porch in the distance. Amazingly enough, the sight of it seemed to take the edge off my nausea.
I slowed to a walk and tried to catch my breath a bit. But that was when the serious pain started; I clutched my stomach and doubled over. Falling to my knees, I gasped for air. It was like, all at once, my heart had stopped, my lungs had failed, and something in my stomach was trying to claw its way out. I wanted to scream, but no sound would come. I rolled over on my side attempting to slow my ragged breathing, but the pain wouldn’t let up.
I needed to get home. I lifted my head, pushed up with an arm that seemed to only be partially functioning and somehow made it to my knees.
After that, everything happened so suddenly. I wasn’t even sure how. All I knew was that one second I was struggling to make it to my feet, and the next I was down on all fours… paws, that is.
Holy shit, shit, shit! This can’t be happening. This-so-can’t-be-happening! I thought to myself since I suddenly found myself unable to speak. I opened my mouth, well not my mouth exactly, more like my muzzle, but nothing but a low whine came out. With a little added effort, I forced out a pitiful excuse for a howl, and then quickly decided that practicing my howl wasn’t the best idea, being that I could quite possibly attract unwanted visitors.
Looking around, everything appeared so different, so much more vivid, so much more alive. I could now see clear across the lake, the water shimmering from the moonlight, the fish swimming just beneath the surface, the dew forming on the grassy bank, the hundreds of insects encircling the nearby trees.
But what shocked me the most were the smells in the air. The rich soil, the thick grass, the lake water, each took on their own unique scent, and somehow I was now able to distinguish between them all at once. I had only thought I had a heightened sense of smell before. The scents in the air were comforting, like earth, nature, life… like home. It was as if I belonged; as if I had finally discovered where I was meant to be.
I found myself beginning to move, needing to explore, to follow the scents that were calling out to me. I took one step on my new legs, expecting it to be like learning to walk all over again, but it was nothing like that. With one step down, the rest followed with ease and before I realized it, I was running. In this form, on these strong legs, I possessed a grace that I have never known before. I was running as fast as I could through the thick forest, never missing a step, zigzagging through trees and brush, loving this new body and all that it could do.
I didn’t know where I was going, but I didn’t care. The freedom of dashing through the woods was all I needed. I finally felt comfortable in my own skin, which didn’t make a lick of sense being that it was all so new to me.
I caught sight of something in my peripheral vision and almost laughed, or whatever the equivalent of laughing was in wolf form, when I realized it was my own tail swooshing along with the rhythm of my gait. I stopped to take a better look at myself. I was the color of honey. I kind of looked like my old neighbor’s golden retriever, but way freakin’ cooler.
As I stood there watching my tail swish back and forth, my thoughts suddenly drifted to Aiden, and I wished that he were here with me. That we could have made our first transformation together. He would so love this.
What he would look like as a wolf? Would he look like me?
Just as I was picturing the two of us racing through the woods together, I picked up on a scent that stopped all thought, all movement, leaving me standing completely still, breathing in a smell that I would never forget. A mix of earth, and musk, and honeysuckle, and sandalwood filled my senses leaving me with a need, a need to find this thing that was suddenly making me salivate, suddenly making me ache with desperation.
Without hesitation, my nose hit the ground as I began to track the enticing smell. I didn’t look up. I didn’t stop moving. I didn’t stop to think about what I might find. None of it mattered. I needed to find the source of that wonderful scent.
In the near distance, I heard a rustling in the brush, which ceased the mission that had held me spellbound. I stopped dead in my tracks and looked around, spooked by what I might find, but what I saw was the last thing I expected.
Peering out from behind a tall oak, a wolf was watching me. We just stood still, staring at each other, neither of us moving a muscle. His amazing green eyes were in sharp contrast to his deep, dark fur. He was a much bigger wolf than me, strong and lean, and the glint in his eyes told me that he was no ordinary wolf.
I gathered up the courage to take one single step toward him and was surprised when he did the same. We continued this dance. I took a step, then he took a step, until we met in the middle near the edge of the lake. We stood with our noses only inches apart, just looking into each other’s eyes. I couldn’t stop myself from drinking in the intoxicating scent that he exuded. Somehow I knew that he was doing the same.
He took one more step forward making our noses tap together gently. If it was possible to smile in wolf form, I would have, and without the use of words, I was left with only one option. And I couldn’t resist. Nuzzling his neck with my face felt like the right response. The need to touch him was so strong, but once I did it, I immediately felt self-conscious and backed away. He again took a step toward me and returned the affection.
Lightening the mood, the dark wolf hunched down as if he was about to pounce. This began a game of cat and mouse that seemed to last for hours. We chased each other through the forest and played like we were little kids.
I was running as fast as my new legs could carry me when I felt a nip at my hip that sent me crashing to the ground. Before I could regain my footing, the wolf was on top of me. He had me pinned down so that I was forced to stare into his brilliant green eyes. The emotions that flowed through me scared the living shit out of me, and I had to get away. I had to get away from this strange, dark wolf that awakened a need in me that I didn’t know existed.
Before I could even begin to struggle, he leaned down and licked the tip of my nose, sending shivers from the tips of my new pointy ears to the tip of my new fluffy tail. I froze under his weight. He backed up just enough to let me regain my footing, and then he nuzzled my neck again. It just felt right, like we were meant to do this.
Seconds later, that familiar wave of nausea passed over me again and my muscles began to ache. I couldn’t change back for the first time in front of this stranger, even with the connection that we so definitely shared. When I felt the excruciating pain start in my chest I panicked, and took off in the direction of my house, somehow knowing the way and having no choice but to leave my mysterious stranger behind.
***
I made it to the back patio just in time. The change was sudden, automatic, like my body just knew what to do. I couldn’t have stopped it if I had tried. Unfortunately, my clothes did not miraculously appear beside me. This was a pesky little problem that I had not even considered. Freezing my butt off, I ran in through the mud room, thankful to find that Mom had already stocked a shelf with some towels and sheets. I wrapped myself up in a fluffy bath sheet and tip-toed through the house and up to my room. Still shaking from the cold, I ran to the window to draw the curtains shut. When I looked down into the night, I saw the dark wolf’s eyes staring up at me from the shadows.