Lance lost count of my freckles so many times that he wasn’t satisfied he’d introduced himself to them all until almost four in the morning. My poor lingerie lasted less than an hour upon making it to my apartment. I congratulated myself for having taken advantage of a buy two and get one free special. I feared the last two sets wouldn’t last long once in Lance’s clutches.
There was something to be said for a flirtatious and enthusiastic man. Saying anything would require several hours of working the kinks out and enough coffee to sink a battleship.
I arrived at work at my usual nine to discover a posse in my office. Chloe smirked, Julian refused to look me in the eyes, my boss fiddled with something at my desk, and Lance’s half-brother looked disconcertingly like him with darker hair but a paler complexion.
“I need more coffee than I have to deal with this,” I confessed, flopping onto the nearest chair. “Also, if you speak a word of this to anyone and it gets back to Lance, I may very well attempt murder. He’s been going to therapy for his various issues, so now I have to figure out what to do with those cars because he’s not in the state of mind I was expecting over this situation.”
My boss coughed. “This is—”
“Arnold McCarthy. It’s pretty obvious. Obviously, Lance takes after his father, as do you. A pleasure to meet you, Mr. McCarthy.”
Chloe, Julian, and my boss stared at me, their mouths hanging open.
“What? Come on, it’s nine in the morning, I haven’t had nearly enough coffee yet, and you ambushed me in my office. They’re not quite twins, so it’s pretty obvious they’re brothers.”
Someone knocked at my door, and Denice poked her head into my office. “Alice, there’s a Mr. Desornes here to see you.”
“Send him in please.”
“Mr. Desornes?” my boss asked.
“The contractor architect Lance hired to make his house less of a disaster and more of a house.”
I hadn’t known what I’d been expecting, but a five-foot-nothing Italian man in a clean-cut suit on a mission to seduce the entirety of the female population wasn’t it. Lance and Julian didn’t slack in the looks department, but Renato Desornes was packing heat and could become a star model with a single come hither glance at the nearest camera.
The next thought to pop into my demented little mind almost made me giggle: Lance would enjoy my frustrations by the end of the day.
Too tired to stand up, I inclined my head to the man. “Thanks for coming, Mr. Desornes. I’m Alice.”
“Quite the party going on in here. I sent the boys over to the house already to get started, and I’ve got your contract here along with the binder of options. Keep the binder. My email is inside, so just shoot me a message when you know what you want. I put all my available teams on it to keep to the schedule.”
I took the contract to read over while the binder joined the stack of papers on my desk I’d have to contend with throughout the day. “Excellent.” I grabbed my checkbook from my purse, wrote out the first check for the deposit on the work, and handed it over. Working at a legal firm had given me a solid edge in reading legalese, and within five minutes, I signed the contract for the construction work and handed it over, too. “If you talk to Lance, he’s expecting the stairwell to the first floor and the attic, plus basic cleaning, to be done for twenty thousand. To make sure the numbers are consistent until he realizes what I’m actually up to.”
“Sounds good. I’ll play along. What do you think for the flooring?”
“I’m going to leave the flooring up to you; you know the themes, so pick the best grade of material that’ll fit the rooms in question. I’d pick to my personal preference, which isn’t what is actually going to work for Lance. You know what he likes for the house better than I do. The upstairs library and study will need floor to ceiling shelves, so I expect that’ll need to match the flooring. Once again, your rodeo. I’m just paying the bill.”
Renato shot me a salute. “Once you send me an email, I’ll reply back with progress photographs so you can get a feel for what’s going on. If something comes up, I’ll text you to call me.”
“That sounds perfect. Thank you.”
He wasted no time leaving, and once he was gone, I sighed and considered taking a nap under my desk.
“You just cut a two hundred thousand dollar check,” Julian observed.
“And that’s only the down payment on the work. Every floor in his monster house needs to be replaced. Walls will be ripped out because a lot of the wiring needs to be replaced. Don’t ask about the plumbing. Fixtures. Furnishings. I’ve seen his bathroom, and the nicest thing anyone has done in that man’s life is rescue him from it. I’m holding him hostage in my apartment because his home will rise up to kill him if I leave him in it any longer without it being renovated. There’s over four thousand square feet of work to go into that home in three weeks, and frankly, I’m impressed he’s only charging me four hundred thousand for the entire job.”
“How much square feet?” Julian blurted.
“It’s a huge townhouse. I think it was two town houses combined for a monster townhouse. He has two basements, and the original architect may have been a lunatic. In his shoes, I would’ve bought the damned thing, too. But it’s a death trap. It will no longer be a death trap once I’m done with it.”
“Father left the fund,” Arnold said. “Please use it.”
“If you can talk Lance into it after the home is complete, go for it. But right now, it’s my gift to him, and I expect a glorious disagreement over the situation. I’m going to be ruthlessly using you as a distraction while I skip town for the whole mess and wait for discovery of his new house to blow over,” I admitted. “I think I’ll go visit my mother and step-father and hide under their bed.”
All three sighed while Lance’s brother looked puzzled.
“What? I’m totally going to do it. As soon as the house is ready, I’m directing him to the classic, I’m going to have it pranked, and I’ll be long gone hiding on the west coast until he’s no longer murderous at me for overspending. I told him twenty thousand for the cleanup.”
Chloe covered her mouth with her hand. “Yeah, I’d say you overspent a little. And yes, I understand why you think Lance will be mad. All right. So, our initial plan to load the Corvette with things his father had accomplished is a bust. He knows what he’s been up to. And he knows he has a brother now, too. How are you going to prank the Corvette?”
“Individually wrap all those comics I sent in plain brown paper, load them into the car, and wait. Toss in a bunch of blank books the same size as comics just so he has extras if we run out. Maybe I’ll make a comic about how he should forgive me for tricking him so ruthlessly.”
“Can you even draw?”
“My stickmen make artists cry tears of blood,” I admitted. “It would be a very bad comic.”
Chloe giggled. “Just write him a letter stating you ran away. Give him a clue where you went. Go have fun for a week somewhere. Then you can help me figure out who his skydiving instructor is so I can evict him from the Hawaii plans.”
Tired of the lies, some of which straddled the line between subterfuge and betrayal, I raised my hand.
“What is it, Alice?”
“I’m the skydiving instructor.”
I rendered my three conspirators speechless.
“Pardon?” Julian asked.
I whipped out my license and displayed it for them to see. “The poor man is terrified of anything doing with even steps, Julian. I told him I could give him instruction from the ground without him ever making a dive. If you want him to conquer his fear of heights, tossing him out of an airplane is not the way to go about it. I just wanted to screw around with you jerks for terrorizing him. He took me to a restaurant with a second story balcony, and the railing petrified him. There’s no way you’re getting him to safely jump out of an airplane. The best you might get out of him is approaching a cliff, and that’s with a great deal of coaxing.”
“Told you,” Chloe muttered. “Alice is sneaky. I had no idea you liked skydiving. Actually, I never would have even thought you’d flown anywhere. You don’t seem like the type to go flying anywhere.”
Money made a difference in that, and I’d blown most of my settlement fund. Go figure. “I also did not tell you this, as I think Lance is enjoying driving you three to the brink of insanity trying to figure out who his instructor is. Just pull the public records for C-license holders. You’ll find my name listed. You would’ve figured it out then. My name isn’t that common. Also, I’m definitely expecting a trip to Hawaii in the future, and you three jerks will pay for it. Not Lance’s brother, no offense to you, Arnold, but these three jerks who would torment him about his fear of heights.”
“Did he really get scared of a railing?” Chloe asked.
“I had to tell him to look at me so he’d stop doing an imitation of Casper. He was petrified. He relaxed once I pointed out hundreds of people used the building and the second level area all the time without anyone falling, and as long as he didn’t look towards the railing, he was all right. Mostly. I do wonder what made him so afraid of heights, though.”
“I think he’s always been afraid of heights,” Julian replied.
“I suppose he needs flaws beyond being an attorney.”
Both Julian and my boss sighed.
“Alice, lawyers aren’t that bad,” Chloe announced. “Well, all lawyers. Mr. Whiteman is that bad. Julian won’t let me hunt him down and light him on fire.”
“That’s illegal, Chloe. We already discussed this. You can’t do anything illegal to the bastard.”
“But I want to.”
“We all do,” he soothed. “Anyway, Lance is not the bad type of lawyer.”
He most certainly was. He was a bad boy in the bedroom, and I liked his freckle fetish. I recognized that thought needed to be kept safely in my head where it belonged. “He’s a prankster. Pranksters are, by default, naughty.”
“That’s true.” Chloe grinned at me. “And how did you like sharing your apartment with a certain naughty attorney last night, Alice?”
“We didn’t try to murder each other. He isn’t allergic to frozen pizza, so the basic requirements for space sharing have been met. There was no whining. We’ll probably survive the next three weeks without any attempted murders even in close quarters.”
“Not murdering each other on the first night is a good thing. How’d he sleep?”
We’d slept? “Fine, I guess. He didn’t complain.”
“So that just left you tossing and turning?”
“Well, I’m most certainly not used to sharing space with someone. I’m sure I’ll sleep fine tonight.” Lance might whine when he discovered he’d completely worn me out, and if he was up for anything energetic, I’d have to do a head to toe examination to figure out where his batteries were hidden. “He was a gentleman the entire time.”
Chloe laughed. “Well, I wasn’t really worried about that. I’m not sure he’s capable of being anything other than a gentleman. So. We brought Arnold over to see what you thought about introducing him to Lance.”
“Lance liked the idea of doing it at his house after it was cleaned up. He has no idea I’m doing more than fixing the staircases and general cleanup. I’m going to run away and abandon the classic with him and leave the modern one in his garage. You can deal with it! I’ll be in hiding. Hiding, Chloe. Very hidden. Probably jumping out of perfectly good airplanes because that’s what my mother and step-father do for fun. And with my luck, I’ll break my ankle again.”
“Wait. A few years ago, you’d broken your ankle skydiving?”
I nodded. “Part of training is figuring out how to handle an unconscious skydiver if they faint during a tandem drive. I was playing the unconscious skydiver, and the training instructor botched the landing. When I realized he was going to botch it, I didn’t get my foot up in time, so it hit the ground hard. Honestly, it wasn’t that much of a botch. Had he really botched it, I would’ve broken a lot more than my ankle. It still failed him on the jump, though. He passed the jump his second try a few months later, but I didn’t talk to him for a while. He’s an asshole.”
“Who was this asshole?”
“Step-brother, younger than me by five years. My step-father figured I’d be the best bet for getting through the jump. After that, Jerome kept following me around with roses and chocolates trying to get me to forgive him. I eventually did, but I still make fun of him over it.”
“Ah. Is everyone in your family skydivers?”
“With my step-father involved? As a matter of fact, yes. Jerome wisely decided he didn’t want to be a full time instructor, so he does the Hollywood thing as a stunt actor now. If it’s a movie with skydivers, he’s probably in it. He even does stunts with tandem divers now, as he’s learned the importance of getting it right using my poor foot.”
“I had no idea you led such an interesting life,” Chloe admitted. “First, the spiders.” She pointed at my Amazonian sapphire, who I still needed to name. “She’s gorgeous, and I keep sneaking into your office just to look at her. Julian won’t let me have one yet.”
I arched a brow and stared at Julian. “Why not?”
“I saw your hand after Boomer got a hold of you. That’s why not.”
“Start her on a Chilean rose, and if that spider works well, then you can think about a sapphire like my girl. And if the Chilean rose doesn’t work out, I’ll adopt her.”
Chloe locked onto Julian and stared.
Once again, I’d learned to fear a determined pregnant woman.
“Fine. It can live in the library or your office, but I don’t want a single peep of complaint about caring for it.”
“You caved a lot faster than I thought you would,” I admitted.
“I’ve gotten used to the little assholes in my office, and I’ve found I miss them when I go home.”
“Yeah, my spiders really are assholes. Do you miss Boomer, too?”
“Shockingly, yes. She’s hilarious. If I go anywhere near her house, she tries to kill me. Ineffectively. I’ve become very appreciative of that glass barrier. She’s really pretty.”
Yep, Julian had fallen prey to my spiders’ charms. “You can’t take my pets home with you, but I will go with you to the shop to help you pick household pets you may keep. And when I take my spiders home, I’ll even let you come and visit them sometimes. Speaking of which. Does this mean you won’t mind keeping them in your office until after Lance’s house is finished? My apartment is cramped even without their houses taking up a lot of space. I won’t have room for Lance once I bring them in.”
Julian chuckled. “Yes, I don’t mind. What about the other spider you got?”
“I’ll ask Kaden to babysit her until she can move in.”
“He’ll do that?”
“Sure. He’ll understand once I tell him the circumstances, and I’ll pay him to babysit her.” I grinned. “I’ll probably pay him to come here to take care of the babies when I’m busy running away, too.”
“You mean I’ll pay him,” my boss corrected.
I held my hands up in surrender. “You can pay him if you want to.”
“What are we going to do with the comics for Lance?”
I sighed. “Wrap them in plain brown paper and load the Corvette. I’ll try to think of something for a scavenger hunt for him.”
Julian grinned. “Why not just have Arnold show him the car and tell him to get to the car, he must wade through hundreds upon hundreds of bad comics? That’s what you’ve done to the poor man. May as well make it simple. Then we can just tell him you ran away because you’re convinced he’s going to hate you for what you did to his house. That’ll lure him straight to his newly renovated house. At that point, you become the scavenger hunt. He’ll have to figure out where you went and catch you.”
“He’d have to fly to catch me.”
Chloe snickered. “Or drive his new Corvette across the entire country. How tragic, being forced to drive a brand new Corvette across the entire country. He needs to take some time off work anyway.”
“I can’t tell if we’re good friends or terrible friends,” I admitted.
Julian gave my shoulder a squeeze. “We’re a bit of both. Leave the wrapping of the comics to me and Chloe. You keep Lance busy and away from his house. Mr. Kenton can handle the rest.”
Lance’s brother raised his hand. “What about me?”
“Hide out, try not to stalk your brother too much, and if you really wanted to do something useful, I have the perfect idea,” Mr. Kenton said. “Come to my office and we’ll talk about it.”
My boss was up to something, and I wasn’t sure what. “I’m unavailable for any pranks for the next three weeks. I just feel I should say this. I have my hands—and apartment—full until Lance’s home is habitable. Please.”
My boss chuckled. “All right. I’ll make sure everyone knows you’re flustered and all pranks should be little things that make you laugh without requiring any cleanup or effort on your part. Or taste good.”
I translated that to mean I was going to be pranked. “You already planned a prank for delivery, probably today, haven’t you?”
“It’s like you’ve been working here for longer than a week,” he quipped before heading to his office with Lance’s half-brother following in his wake. “Don’t leave at lunch time. It’d be sad if your lunch were to be spoiled.”
“You’re a wicked, wicked man, Mr. Kenton.”
“Yes, I am. I’m an attorney. What did you expect?”
I waved my fist at his back and turned to Julian. “Not a peep out of you, lesser attorney.”
“Ouch, my pride.”
Chloe laughed, snagged Julian by the arm, and dragged him from my office. “If you need to be rescued from Lance, give us a call, and we’ll lock him in our guest bedroom.”
“I’ll keep that in mind, but I think we’ll be fine.”
I hoped.