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Darcy tried to ignore the fact she'd been pushed out of the parade. She loved being with Wade. He was logical and grounded. If he hadn't been there at the moment Mrs. Darlington informed her she wasn't welcome in the parade she might have... what?
Nothing, she thought.
Shops rolled by as Wade drove her to the diner. His presence next to her felt cozy and intimate. Heat blew from the vent, and she rubbed her arms up and down.
"Are you still cold?"
"I'm warming up."
He stopped at a light, and she felt him watching her. "You really should have told that old biddy to stuff it," he mused.
"Would you have? If they don't want me there, that's fine. I did my job."
"Yes," he disagreed, "but you did all the work. You earned the right to walk in the parade."
"It doesn't matter," she whispered.
"If you say so. I was going to offer to walk with you, but maybe we can just find a nice spot and cheer them on."
Darcy's heart lifted. "I thought you might leave before Saturday."
"I could stay for the parade and leave afterward if you'd like."
She thought about Mrs. Darlington's accusing glare. She'd acted like Darcy had snuck out behind the school to do something naughty. Worse, when Wade said he was a professor, the woman's eyes widened as if he was dumpster diving.
"No," said Darcy in a rush. There was no reason to drag Wade down with her. It was humiliating to watch people judge him for being with her. Besides, he was leaving. Holding onto him would only hurt them both in the long run.
He fell silent, and she wondered if he was disappointed. He did need to leave, didn't he?
She grappled for more excuses. "It's nice of you, but I know you have to hit the road, and I have plenty to do here. There are lessons to prepare for December and all that."
"You keep saying that," said Wade in a low tone. "It must be a lot of work."
"It is." Darcy knew her voice sounded loud, and she winced. Wade spun the steering wheel and crunched into the gravel parking lot of the diner.
"Okay." He turned the car off but didn't get out.
She stared at the dashboard straight ahead. Street lights blinked on in the impending darkness and cast a beam of light across her lap.
"Darcy?"
"What?"
"I don't have to leave town right now if you don't want me to. I can stay."
She grimaced. It was better to tear the bandage off right now. "Well, you have to go soon."
He was silent for a pause, but it felt eternal. Sitting close to him, she could smell his soapy cleanliness and the light scent of woodsy cologne. It was a delicious, provocative fragrance. He turned toward her, angling his leg up onto the seat. "Why don't you come with me?"
"What?" Her thumping heart stopped, frozen like a popsicle.
He cleared his throat. "Well, you're off for a week. You could ride with me the rest of the way along the trail or across Kansas anyway."
She shook her head in confusion. That was a ridiculous idea. Terrible. She'd miss Thanksgiving with the family, and she'd already missed so many. And then what? She'd fall even harder for Wade, and maybe in love with him. She knew she would if she spent every waking second beside him. "I—I can't do that."
She couldn't meet his eyes, but the sound of the door creaking open told her the conversation was over, and he'd accepted her answer. She waited a few seconds then climbed out and saw him waiting for her in the silvery moonlight. They walked side by side in silence until they reached the door. Wade reached out for the handle.
"I do wish I could go, but I can't miss the last few weeks of the semester," she said in a hurried tone. She glanced at him through her lashes and prayed he'd understand. "If I want to be kept on permanently, I have to work through Christmas."
Wade smiled, but it looked tentative. "I understand." He winked then looked away and opened the door.
Darcy's heart sank to her knees. The realization that the friendship they'd shared was coming to an end drained her energy. She felt exhausted.
The diner felt toasty and warm with its busy conversations and the mouth-watering odors of fried everything. Her stomach grumbled, and she forced herself to concentrate on enjoying one of the last nights she'd ever see Wade. He'd tried, she admitted to herself. It was a crazy idea, but he'd tried.
"So," she said, to lighten the mood as they found a booth, "how much do you lack on your project now. Are you looking forward to heading home for Christmas?"
Wade met her eyes with his quiet blue-eyed gaze. "Christmas, yes. I should be able to wrap up the trip in a couple of weeks. The semester won't be over at school, but I'll drop by my apartment to check on things, do some laundry, and repack."
"Then home," she said.
He smiled at her. "Yes, they're anxious to have me home this Christmas. To be honest," he said, twiddling a napkin in his hand, "I don't know if I'm going to be going back to school after the holidays. I'm not sure if being a professor at Missouri is right for me."
"You're not?"
"I don't know."
A loud burst of laughter exploded across the room, and Darcy leaned over so she didn't have to raise her voice. "I didn't know that. I mean, I can tell you've had a lot on your mind and thought that you were sorting things out but..." She took a breath.
Wade lowered his head and swallowed. His cheeks looked a little red. "I love to teach, but I like to write. You know, academic papers, freelance articles, books..." He thumped the napkin up and down on the table. "What do you think about that?"
"I think it's wonderful. Amazing. I admire you for taking such a leap of faith."
A waitress interrupted them, and Darcy ordered the fried chicken, and Wade did, too. He grinned. "You know what you like."
She chuckled.
"What about you, Darcy," he said after they were alone again. "You said you've always wanted to be an artist and that's why you left home—to have experiences."
"I have to teach, Wade. I need something to back me up. I can't jump in with no plan and have nothing to fall back on."
He twisted his lips into a wry grin. "That sounds like something someone has said to you."
She blinked and looked away, studying the vintage jukebox in the corner. He was right. Didn't everyone warn dreamers and artists to have a real job on the side?
The crowd volume seemed to increase and echo around them. Darrell was at the counter as usual with two pot-bellied men in baseball caps. He caught her eye and leered, and she turned away. She was hoping he wouldn't be here tonight. "It's just I need a steady paycheck is all," she said shortly.
Wade nodded. "I get it. I do. Not everybody has a head start. I was lucky to have family support to get through school." He stopped, and she turned her head to see what had grabbed his attention.
Darrell's wide frame stalked between the booths toward them. To her horror, he stopped in front of the table and smacked both big, hairy palms down.
"How's it going, Downtown?" Darrell grinned, his eyes daring her to react then he glanced at Wade. "So I hear you're the new author in town. Do you write movies? Magazines?"
Wade stared, and Darcy thought she'd throw up.
"Books," said Wade. His lip curled up in a smirk, and Darcy knew he was imagining Darrell as some freakish mythological creature.
"What kind of books?" Darrell leaned over them. He stunk like body odor and grease.
"Busby, we're eating," snapped Darcy. She'd had enough interference in her conversations with Wade for the day. He was already upset she'd squashed the idea of joining him on his field trip.
"You don't look like you're eating yet, Downtown."
"Stop it." Darcy's chest seemed to rip into pieces—half of her humiliated by this Neanderthal, the other half angry and resentful that he had to put on a show in front of his friends.
She felt Wade's gaze on her but tried to stare down Darrell instead. "Stop calling me that. It's Darcy, and you can leave now."
"Ooo, that's right," he teased. "Darcy Malone. Miss Malone. Are they really letting you teach children at school? You know I have a little guy in kindergarten, don't you?"
"Yes, I don't judge him."
Darrell blinked then motioned at Wade with his square chin back at her. "You know why we call her 'Downtown', right?"
"Shut up, Busby!" Darcy's voice pitched up higher than she wanted it to. She gripped her fork to keep from throwing a punch. He laughed and stepped back. Wade looked half-interested and half-amused. He said nothing.
Darrell pointed. "She's the queen of the trailer park, you know. A bonafide, downtown, piece-of-trash just like her daddy."
Darcy jumped to her feet. She realized she still held the fork and stabbed it up in the air. "Get out of here," she shouted. She wanted to poke him in the neck or pull all his hair out. He was still as mean as he'd been since second grade.
Quiet fell over the diner. "I haven't seen any trash since I pulled into Blessings," Wade mused in a firm tone then he looked straight into Darrell's eyes, "—until just now."
Darcy froze. Darrell stared. Darcy could practically smell the smoke as Darrell tried to figure out whether or not he'd been insulted or if Wade had agreed with him. She almost laughed.
Wade tossed his napkin onto the table and stood up. "I wasn't that hungry anyway." He eased out of the booth, patted Darrell on the shoulder in a friendly manner, and then reached out for Darcy's hand.
She grabbed her purse and followed him out, not looking back when Darrell shouted, "Hey!"
Whispers echoed behind her until she shut the door. She practically ran past Wade to get to the car then she realized she didn't want to climb in.
"Are you okay?" Wade's calm, unruffled demeanor amazed her.
"You're always asking me that," she stuttered, leaning against the car door to collect herself. She realized she was shaking with anger.
He came around and enfolded her in his arms. "So he's not a very nice guy. He's the first disappointment I've come across in Blessings."
Darcy forced herself to pull away. She couldn't hide in his arms forever. Just because she'd changed didn't mean anyone would ever believe it. This was life—her life. She wasn't going to run away again so she'd just have to get used to it.
"Hey..." Wade's tone sounded soft and tender, and it made her heart want to explode.
"Wade," she whispered. Her voice gave out with a shrill crack. "That's twice I let him run me out of there, and it isn't going to happen again. You need to get packing. There are things you need to do. I shouldn't have kept you from your work."
"From what?" Wade took her chin in his hands.
Darcy took a deep breath, silently screaming at herself for wondering if he would kiss her again. There was no more avoiding the truth. "Look, you've only been in town for a few weeks. You have a job, and your time here is done. I'm keeping you from what you set out here to do."
He looked confused. "You're not keeping me from my work. I've accomplished quite a bit, and I only have a few more stops."
"You have miles to go, and you have big decisions to make, too. You don't need me distracting you. I don't want to be the reason you don't finish your book or..." She hesitated. "I don't want to be the reason you don't go back to the university."
He blinked. "I'm not sure what I want to do about that," he admitted, "but I know—"
"You're right," Darcy said back in an urgent voice. "You have the chance to be a professor of history at a major university, a big school." She stopped and tried to force down the knot in her throat, but it brought tears to her eyes. "I have a job to keep, and you have a future to sort out."
She bit her lip and pulled further away. They were only a few blocks from the hardware store. If Raelynn wasn't there, she'd call her for a ride. Darcy took a few steps away. "You better get back to the B&B before it's too late. I bet Lilian's still serving dinner."
Wade ran his hand through his hair. "Darcy, I—"
"Seriously, Wade." She forced herself to laugh. He was too good, too smart, and too ambitious. Seeing him any longer would only break her heart in the long run. She'd never get over missing out on a chance with a man like Wade. It'd haunt her forever.
Darcy started off at a jog down the sidewalk, keeping her eyes on the shops ahead and ignoring him when he called after her.
She was Downtown Darcy. She lived on the other side of the tracks. She even had a juvie record. She was lucky to have a job at the elementary school, and Raelynn needed her. There wasn't any room for professors and romance, not for a girl with her history.
***
WADE DROVE UNTIL HE couldn't keep his eyes open. He found an exit near Colby, Kansas, that wasn't on his itinerary and stopped to ask about availability. It was a nice hotel. He needed nice. Everything felt dark and gritty.
Crumpling up his itinerary and calendar into two large paper wads, he dropped them into a wastebasket in his new room. It would be dawn soon. He'd left Blessings the morning after Darcy told him to get lost. Staying for the parade would have only made things worse.
It'd been too much. He'd crowded her. They'd seen each other almost every day, all the while knowing their lives were going in different directions. It seemed impossible he could have such strong feelings for someone he'd only met weeks ago, but from the moment he saw her face, he'd thought about her every day. He'd forgotten about Anna, the book, and even the university promotion. Then he'd kissed her and all of his confusion over where he needed to go and what he needed to do seemed to melt away. The problem was, he wasn't sure if she felt the same way.
With a wry chuckle, he realized he hadn't taken any antacids in a long time. He'd practically sped through edits on the book the past two weeks, and he'd gotten out and exercised. His runs had been further and faster since he'd hit the trails around Blessings. He felt renewed. Invigorated.
...Or he had.
Darcy pushing him away and telling him it was time to move on had deflated him. He slumped down onto the bed and realized he felt empty again. He hadn't had anything to eat or drink in what seemed like hours.
With a sigh, he fell back on the bed and closed his eyes. Next stop, Colorado. A new place along the trail. Another milestone. Wade opened his eyes and stared at the popcorn ceiling overhead. It reminded him of Darcy's popcorn art that he'd help hang in the school's hallways.
School. "Ugh," he mumbled. He was done. He'd been in school since he was five years old. Had he ever had a break? Working on the book and traveling had made him feel like a whole new person.
Wade licked his lips and rolled over on his side. The bed wasn't as comfortable as the B&B. The room felt cold and impersonal. He closed his eyes again and wondered what it would be like to live in Blessings. Permanently.
***
THE PARADE STARTED at ten o'clock. Darcy rolled over and smacked her alarm clock. She'd forgotten to turn it off. There was no use going downtown early since she wouldn't be a part of the parade lineup.
Raelynn had suggested that she join her at the store to watch from the inside and to welcome in customers for specials on the turkey fryers. Darcy groaned and put the pillow over her head.
"Rise and shine!" Her mother pushed open the bedroom door and hopped onto the bed beside her. "I'm already dressed. Why aren't you up?"
Darcy peeked. She knew she looked a mess. "I'm sleeping in."
Raelynn slapped her leg. "You are not sleeping in. You ate my share of the ice cream last night, and I had to snack on stale raisins. You're a monster."
Darcy pulled the pillow back down. "I'm not going," she said in a hoarse voice.
"Come on," cajoled Raelynn, "you won't feel any better lying here feeling sorry for yourself. I'm sure he'll call or email you or something."
Darcy pressed the pillow against her face. Raelynn rubbed her back. "I'm sorry Darrell Busby is such a loser. I'm sorry you snapped. It's over now. Next time you see him tell him your momma said his account is overdue at the hardware store."
Pulling the pillow off of her face, Darcy said, "Darrell's not ever going to go away, Mom, and neither will my past. And yes, maybe Wade will call."
"Of course he will." Raelynn rolled her eyes. "You knew he had to leave, and he did say goodbye, right? It sounds like he was the perfect gentleman, especially after the scene at the diner."
Darcy nodded. "He was." Her throat tightened up, and she fought back tears. "There was a little more to it than that though. I didn't tell you everything."
"Like what?"
Darcy sniffed and stared into Raelynn's eyes. They narrowed with suspicion. "He asked me if I wanted to go with him—on his road trip, you know."
"Oh." Raelynn frowned, and Darcy knew it was because she hadn't told her that part. "Well, that would have been fun."
"Yes, but I have to teach at least through Christmas. I just can't take off."
"Like you did in high school?"
Darcy gave a sharp nod. "I can't take off again. We need this job, and I've got to make it permanent."
Raelynn let out a long breath and stared through the faded sheers hanging over the window. She was quiet for a while, and Darcy closed her eyes and rolled over. She thought about her father and how he'd stranded them both for good in the Falling Waters trailer park.
"You know, Darcy, I wasn't upset when you left here to go to the East Coast. I was worried, yes, but I didn't compare you to your father. I knew you'd come home. You called me every week."
Darcy turned back over and watched her mother reminisce.
"I just knew you were going to be a great artist someday, and you are. You're a wonderful teacher. Everyone tells me all the time how much their grandkids love you."
"They're just being nice," grumbled Darcy. "They're your friends."
Raelynn scooted up close to her. She tucked the blanket up around Darcy's chin like she was a little girl.
"They don't say it because they're my friends. You're a good teacher. You're a wonderful artist, and you're a perfect daughter."
"Mm," grunted Darcy. She let the corners of her mouth turn up in a small smile.
Raelynn gave Darcy a serious stare. "Stop moping around because some old cows don't want you walking in their parade, and don't worry about Wade Spears. He's a nice guy—a great guy—and if he doesn't see how amazing you are, it's his problem, not yours."
Darcy's eyes brimmed over with tears. "I made him go, Momma. He was going to stay for the parade, and I told him not to bother, to just leave." A tear trickled down her cheek.
"Well you didn't have to run him out of town," said Raelynn in teasing disgust.
Darcy sniffled. "I know. I just wanted to get it over with. I guess I didn't want it to hurt more than it already did... and to be honest, I kept thinking about dad."
"Oh, Darcy," Raelynn sighed. "You can't go through life comparing every man you meet to your father." She slid off the bed and patted Darcy on the leg. "—or Darrell Busby, for heaven's sake. He was a terrible boyfriend, and he's not a very nice person, either. Ancient history. Stop living in the past. Paint over it."
Darcy knew her mother was right. She'd come back to Blessings to embrace the next chapter in her life. It was time to let go, once and for all, to the rough start she'd had here. With a new job and a fresh outlook, she could make sure all of Blessings knew her as Miss Malone, elementary school art teacher. She was a great daughter, a pretty good runner, and an active community supporter of the arts.
Darcy rolled out of bed and pushed the broken pieces of her heart back together the best she could.
Wade Spears had been a burst of sunshine her second autumn back in Blessings. She would miss him, she would cry a little, but life would go on. Somehow. She would miss him forever.
She stopped in front of the mirror over the dresser and examined the tangled, bushy mop of hair on her head. A road trip would have been fun, and she'd give up the job if she knew there were any other options.
***
WADE STOOD IN FRONT of the marker detailing the history of the giant black steam locomotive fenced in behind it. Trinidad, Colorado, was charming, and the visitor's center helpful, but he felt like the train. He was out of steam, too.
This little corner of the state had taken in the trail for several miles before it dropped down into New Mexico. Trinidad was a small town with a few museums and nearby archaeological sites. The food tasted good, but he didn't have much of an appetite.
With a bittersweet feeling of amusement, he watched a stranger and his wife take selfies with the train in the background. The man smiled, and Wade said "hello." He looked away, but the couple soon came over to read the plaque beside him.
"One of the last steam engines in Colorado," mused the gentleman.
Wade gave a small nod. His brain opened up the floodgates to begin a lecture on Westward Expansion, but he caught himself. "It's almost ancient history," he said instead.
The man grinned. He wore a veteran's hat from the Vietnam War. He held his elderly wife's hand like they were best friends. "History is important," he declared. Wade nodded in agreement. "However," said the vet, wagging his finger back at the train, "the future matters, too. You have to keep an eye in both directions. After the trains came the planes, you know."
His wife chuckled. "He's only saying that because he likes to fly."
"Oh, yes? Are you a pilot?"
"I was," said the man, and he explained his duty during the war. "Afterwards, I flew for the airlines until I retired."
"So you're seeing the country from the other side now."
"Yes," he said, "when we can." He patted his wife's hands. "We have grandkids to chase around now, so we only wander off every now and then. First things first."
"Yeah, I get it." Wade smiled and said goodbye. First things first. Family first. He knew that. His parents had raised him right. He just hadn't had the chance to start a family. He'd been too busy trying to be a scholar, not that it was a bad thing.
After waving goodbye, he headed back to the car. He sighed as he unlocked it and slid inside. It smelled like old fast food and seemed tired, like him. He wasn't in the mood to do any more traveling, and the drive back to Tennessee would take days. He missed his bed.
His mind paused for a moment and with a grim smile, he realized he missed the fluffy mattress at the B&B, not his bed at the university.
Wade leaned back and studied the train engine resting on its mock set of train tracks. People had traveled the country and explored new lands by taking a ride on these locomotives. Some had returned home, but others had settled out West and started new lives. Exciting lives. Happy ones.
He bit his lip and thought about Darcy. She'd seemed happy when he first met her in Blessings. When he left, it seemed like she was unhappy with her life and wanted him out of it. Maybe it was that Busby character. There was always at least one bad apple in a good bushel, at least that's what his mother always said. For some reason, Darcy let it get to her. She was so consumed with her history, she'd just expected Wade to go, and she'd pushed him away.
He stared at the train. And he'd let her. It'd be wonderful if he could hop on board and ride the locomotive back to Blessings. Maybe he could find a little house to rent with some office space to finish his book. If it was in walking distance of the café, he could grab a pastry every morning before he got started, and on breaks, he could walk down to the bookstore or even see Raelynn at the hardware store.
Darcy? Well, she'd be surprised to see him. Maybe she'd ask him to work on a project. He could probably even get a job at the high school and teach history.
No.
The thought stopped him cold. No. He didn't want to teach.
Wade stared at the train that could take him back to Darcy if it wasn't a monument. It was ancient history, but this wasn't. This was now.
He took a deep breath and set his hands on the steering wheel and squeezed. He didn't want to teach. He didn't want to be a professor. His throat tightened. He wanted to write books. It was ridiculous. Crazy. It was hardly a career, but yes, that's what he truly wanted, what he'd dreamed of in his youth.
No wonder he struggled to finish his manuscript on the Santa Fe Trail. It was because when it was finished, it was over. His next step was lecture halls and grading papers. Nice and praiseworthy, but the satisfaction would fade quickly.
Wade sucked in a shaky breath. The trip was over. He'd found inspiration in a small town artist with a romantic streak, and he'd discovered his answers. His phone vibrated, and it startled him. For a wild second, he hoped it was Darcy and not Grant. She'd ask him to come back. She'd tell him she'd changed her mind and wanted to join him on some crazy cross-country escapade.
Holding his breath, Wade picked up the phone and checked the call number flashing on the screen. His chest deflated. It wasn't Darcy's name, just an unknown number.