On the way home, I battle a million questions and an increasing sense of confusion.
What have I done?
Why did I fuck her?
Why did I leave?
I’ve ruined everything. I let biology rule me, and now I don’t know where we stand.
Fucking fuck.
This was the best sex of my life, but I have no idea if it was the same for her.
Probably not. I bet she was just playing along with this fantasy we’ve built.
If I weren’t in a limo, I’d start pacing, but as is, I just clench and unclench my fists.
I’ve never been in a situation where I liked a woman this much. Never allowed myself to be.
Oh, who am I kidding? I more than like her. And this is all fake. At least it’s supposed to be fake. Only it’s no longer fake on my part.
Maybe I shouldn’t have left. But if I’d stayed, kept her in my arms a second longer, I would have fallen deeper into the fantasy. If I’d given in to the illusion, told myself she could care for me as much as I care for her, I’d come to regret it, I just know it. It would be like that time in high school when Amanda pretended to like me to make her ex jealous. Afterward, she acted like I was a leper.
The more I think about it, the more I doubt Juno truly feels anything for me. No amount of money can change who I am, and no woman has ever been interested in that guy. I know Juno well enough to realize that she doesn’t care about money in the stereotypical gold-digger way—all she wants is to pay her tuition and have the basics needed to survive. But I also know her well enough to see just how amazing she is—and what are the chances someone like that would be the first woman to want me for anything besides the billions?
At some point, I realize that I’ve managed to get home and finish my bedtime routine without even noticing, like the robot I no longer wish to become. Not unless my robot body could allow me to experience what I felt earlier today, when Juno was in my arms.
Whatever. I don’t need to think about robotics tonight, or about anything, really.
What I should do is try the impossible.
Falling asleep.
I wake up, which is odd because I didn’t think I’d fall asleep with all that tossing, turning, and obsessing about Juno.
Maybe I should call her? See how badly I—
Wait.
She forgot her phone at Gram’s house.
Leaping off the bed, I frantically get ready.
I promised Juno I’d get her the phone back today, so that’s what I intend to do.
When I walk into Gram’s house, Aleksy greets me with a warm smile.
Fuck. I was planning to pretend I didn’t see anything and don’t know anything, but I now realize that’s not who I am.
“Let’s speak outside for a second,” I tell him sternly.
Arching an eyebrow, he follows me out.
“What’s up?” he asks.
“Something I forgot to tell you when I hired you.” I meet his gaze to illustrate just how deadly serious my next words will be. “If anyone ever hurts my grandmother in any way, I will put a multimillion-dollar bounty on that person’s head.”
Aleksy’s features tighten, and his accent is thicker than usual as he says, “If someone hurts her, you will not need to waste your money. I’ll take care of it personally.”
I study him intently, then nod. “Sounds like we have an understanding.” I extend my hand, and he shakes it solemnly.
“Where is she?” I ask over my shoulder as I head back in.
“Gardening,” he says approvingly.
I stop by the living room and pick up Juno’s clunker of a phone, then head over to the backyard, where I catch Gram weeding.
“What do I pay your gardener for?” I ask in exasperation.
She looks up and grins. “He deals with the landscaping in front of the house. This here is my domain.” With that, she climbs to her feet, dusts off her palms on her dress, and hurries over to give me a kiss on the cheek. “No hug,” she warns. “Or there’ll be dirt all over you.”
“I’m not afraid of a little dirt.” To prove it, I locate the nearest weed and give it a yank.
“Come,” she says. “Let’s talk in the dining room.”
“Talk in the dining room” is, of course, code for eating breakfast together. I don’t mind, and not just because I completely forgot about food this morning.
“So,” Gram says, wagging her eyebrows. “How did the rest of your evening go?”
The grilled brie-and-pear sandwich suddenly tastes like Styrofoam. “It was good. Great. Usual.”
She puts down her teacup. “What happened?”
Am I that transparent? “Nothing.”
“Did you have a fight with Juno?” she prods. “Those things happen.”
My jaw tenses. “No. I don’t know.”
Gram furrows her eyebrows. “What’s the problem?”
“It’s not a problem. It’s just reality.”
“What reality?” she demands.
“I like her,” I say, and voicing it makes something tighten inside my chest. “A lot. Maybe more than a lot.”
Gram chuckles. “Darling, I saw you together. You didn’t need to tell me that.”
I don’t meet Gram’s gaze. “I don’t think she likes me, though. Not in the same way.”
“Are you crazy?”
I blink, startled, and look at Gram.
She sighs and lays her hand over mine. “Listen. Like I just said, I saw you together—and that girl is head over heels for you.”
“It was just an act.” The words taste bitter in my mouth.
She scoffs. “Not an act. It’s a fact. Trust me, I’m never wrong about these things.”
I absentmindedly pick up my sandwich and take a big bite.
Could Gram be right?
I replay all my interactions with Juno—the date-like meals, the plane ride, Gainesville, the phone calls, meeting each other’s families, and then that transcendental sex yesterday. And maybe it’s my blood sugar stabilizing, but I’m starting to feel more hopeful.
At the very least, Juno seems to want me in bed. Her actions yesterday proved that much. Maybe not as much as I want her, but it’s a start.
Maybe if I apply myself, I can make her want me more.
Make her love me.
I drop the unfinished sandwich onto the plate as an idea solidifies in my mind.
Why didn’t I think of this sooner?
I will make Juno mine. I’ll approach her like I do any business deal: with fortitude and determination. I will do whatever it takes to make what we have real.
Yes. This can work.
Maybe I acted like an idiot yesterday, but I can fix that.
I will fix everything.
Without meaning to, I jump to my feet.
Gram arches an eyebrow. “Leaving already?”
I pat the phone in my pocket. “I gotta go see about a girl. Or in this case, a Roman goddess.”