Present
I grabbed Hayley’s hand and pulled her to me before we walked up the driveway. “Thank you for doing this for me. I know you had a hard time getting away for the night.”
Hayley smiled at me and patted my hand. “I love you, but I did this for me, too. I’m invested in this now. This way, I have firsthand knowledge of how she is, how you are, and if you can have a friendship with somebody who destroyed you.” She gave me an angelic smile, but underneath her halo was a fierce woman who was used to fighting for her family. She blinked at me three times and increased the intensity of her smile.
I rolled my eyes. “Come on. Let’s get this over with.”
“The reunion of a lifetime. How do I look?” Hayley looked amazing. She had gone all out for tonight. She had her hair done, spoiled both of us with mani/pedis, and even though fall was here, she wore a sleeveless dress. She gained fifty pounds when her last was born but worked hard to lose it and, in the process, came away with a lean, muscular body.
“Too bad you’re married with five hundred kids. I’d take a crack at you.”
She kissed my cheek. “I wouldn’t leave Mike to raise my devil children alone. Nobody deserves that punishment.”
I knew she was joking. They were a handful, but they were sweet and fun. I reminded myself to get over there and play with them soon. Coaching was important, but I had to remind myself that it wasn’t everything. “Are you ready?”
She turned to me. I saw the fire in her eyes and something sinister perched on her smile. “Oh, I’ve been waiting for this for fifteen years.”
I gave her the look. The same you-better-behave-or-else look she bestowed on her boys. “Play nice. I have to work with him for the next several months,” I whispered. We walked up the stairs to the front door in silence. Grayson opened the door before I even rang the doorbell, and for a moment, I wondered if they heard our conversation on their cameras.
“I’m so glad you’re here.” He looked pointedly at Hayley. “I know you. I remember you from the high school games from way back when.”
She studied him for a brief second before holding out her hand. “I’m Hayley, Sutton’s best friend since grade school. I went to all her games.”
Hayley was being kind. I begged her to go to my games. “My biggest cheerleader.” Fuck. Did I really just say that?
She looked at me wide-eyed. “This is a lovely home, Grayson. You have children, don’t you?” she asked, quickly changing the subject.
“Yes, come on in. Unfortunately, Vee and Rose are already upstairs and in bed.”
I looked at the time. It was only eight and a Saturday night. Grayson must’ve seen my reaction.
“They played in a soccer tournament all day. They were exhausted. Can I get you anything to drink?” He motioned for us to follow him into the living room. It was an open floor plan and both Hayley and I aimed for Parker in the kitchen. She pulled something out of the oven and I was able to study her for a moment without her seeing me. She wore a red V-neck cashmere sweater and high-waisted jeans that hugged her curves. Her hair was pulled back in a casual ponytail and her accessories were minimal. Grayson was wearing a dark blue button-up and jeans. They complemented each other well.
“We brought a nice red if it fits the meal.” Hayley handed Grayson the bottle.
When Parker put down the oven mitt and joined us, I felt my heart thud. She still had it. That undeniable hold over me. I knew Hayley felt it, too, because she tapped her foot against mine.
“Oh, my God. Hayley. What a nice surprise,” Parker said. She offered a hug, which Hayley accepted. Parker turned to hug me, too. It would have been too awkward to refuse so I bit down and held my breath as she gently pushed her body against mine. I forgot how tiny she was until I felt her in my arms again.
“Surprise! I’m Sutton’s date tonight,” Hayley said.
“Where’s Lexi?” Parker asked. She quickly intercepted Buttercup from jumping on us and sent her upstairs to be with the girls.
“We broke up,” I said.
Parker’s eyes widened. “I’m so sorry to hear that. You seemed so…” She dug around for the right word. “Connected.”
I barked out a laugh. “She didn’t like my work schedule or my dog so I had to kick her out.”
“You didn’t kick her out.” Hayley put her hands on her hips. “Lexi met somebody else because Sutton is apparently emotionally unavailable.”
“Or that,” I said, knowing Hayley was trying to make it sound like it wasn’t my fault, but in the process, made everything sound a lot worse. Grayson shot Parker a look. She returned it with an equally puzzling one. Hayley glanced my way and furrowed her brow. Great, Hayley was going to make something out of nothing.
“I’m sorry to hear that,” Parker said. She meant it. Her features were pinched in concern for me and suddenly the dinner party felt more like a pity party.
“Really, it’s okay. We weren’t meant to be together. I don’t know why she moved with me to Connecticut.” I felt like a failure because I was talking to an ex and her husband about the woman who just left me.
“Well, I commend you for being professional at work. I had no idea you were going through anything personal.” Grayson shrugged. “I wish I had better control over my emotions.”
“Breaking up and dealing with a death are two very different things,” I said.
“Why death?” Hayley asked, even though she knew. It was her way into the conversation without telling them she knew.
“Grayson’s childhood best friend died very recently and he showed up to practice intoxicated. Sutton tried to sober him up and sneaked him home,” Parker said.
Grayson blushed at her explanation. “So, Parker’s excellent cooking is our way of saying thank you. I don’t want to lose my job over one stupid mistake,” he said. He stood by the bar in the sitting room. “What can I get everyone to drink? Dinner should be ready in about thirty minutes. We should save your wine for dinner. How about a martini?”
“I’ll have one dirty,” I said.
“Tanqueray?” he asked.
“Perfect.”
“Same,” Hayley said.
“I can’t believe you have three boys. I think it’s amazing. What’s it like raising them?” Parker asked.
Hayley laughed. “It’s exactly as horrible and wonderful as you think. Sometimes they want to cuddle and other times they run away when I get too needy. They’re smart, funny, and very caring.”
I took the martini from Grayson and tried to get into the conversation. I was nervous around them only because of our history. It was ridiculous, but I couldn’t help the way I felt. “They are wonderful kids. My goal is to get them interested in all sports.”
With Hayley’s slight frame and Mike’s small stature, they would never be big enough to play football, but there were other sports they could excel at if they wanted to get involved. I smiled thinking of the camaraderie I had with other team members when I was growing up. It made middle and high school tolerable.
“With Mike’s brain, Sutton’s athletics, and my confidence, my boys are going to be quite the force in whatever they decide to do,” Hayley said. Her eyes were shining bright with pride and love for her family. The same light was in Parker’s gaze.
“I know exactly what you mean. The girls love football and soccer, but they also love homework and school in general. They’ll probably be more social than I was,” Parker said.
“You were a cheerleader. I’m pretty sure it doesn’t get more popular than that,” I said.
“Unless you’re the quarterback who takes the team to state,” she countered smugly.
“Touché.” I toasted her martini glass against mine and quickly toasted Grayson, too, since she probably meant him. I ignored the embarrassment that crept up my throat and warmed my cheeks. “I’m sure that with the parental support in this room, all the kids will turn out great.” Parker gave me a heated look over the large rim of her glass. It was obvious to me and when I felt Hayley’s knee press slightly into mine, she saw it, too.
When the timer chimed, Grayson pointed to the dining room. “Let’s get caught up over dinner.” I watched as he pulled the chair out for Parker. I expected a jab to the heart, but it didn’t bother me as much as I thought it would. They were married and obviously cared for one another.
Hayley sat across from Parker and I sat across from Grayson. It worked for me. Seeing Grayson didn’t sting like it used to. We were friendly and since we worked together, he was starting to become just another player on the team. I hoped to get that comfortable with Parker.
“So, thank you again, Sutton, for saving my ass,” Grayson said.
“We all do them. Make bad decisions,” I said. I shrugged. “We’re not perfect.”
“Leaving my husband alone with my boys is a bad decision, but I need alone time. It’s nice to get away, but I dread going home. The house will be in complete disarray and the kids one step away from Lord of the Flies characters,” Hayley said.
“Can I see photos of your kids?” Parker asked. Hayley quickly pulled out her phone and showed them her family. “Oh, my gosh. They are so adorable. And they look just like your husband.” Parker handed the phone back to Hayley. “What does he do?”
“He’s an engineer. He does well enough so that I can stay home with the boys.”
“That’s great. You seem happy. You always had a motherly instinct about you. Even when we were kids,” Parker said.
“She was always protecting me, that’s for sure,” I said.
“Even when you didn’t need it,” Hayley said. A tender moment passed between us and I squeezed her hand.
“I’m so happy you two are still so close. Hayley always had your back,” Parker said.
“So, you know about my life, tell us about yours. I’m assuming you dated in college and got married shortly after,” Hayley said. I knew that I could get through this with her beside me.
Parker seemed so relaxed. “Grayson was drafted right out of college. We got married after his first year in the NFL and had Vee and Rose. We’ve moved quite a bit but I’m hoping we make Bridgemont our forever home so the kids can have stability.”
“You started in Miami, right?” I asked.
“Yes. I was there for five years, then got traded to Pittsburgh. Took Miami to the playoffs three out of five years, and Pittsburgh twice. I was second string in Baltimore so I didn’t see a lot of playing time.”
“You’ve had a solid career and should be proud of it.” Was I really pumping up Grayson Moats?
“Blah blah blah. Football, football, throw the ball, catch the ball,” Hayley said. We laughed at her theatrics. She knew football almost as well as I did, but nobody knew that except me, my dad, and her husband.
I tuned out the conversation for a moment. Parker’s vegetarian lasagna was amazing. I couldn’t remember the last time I had a home-cooked meal. I was a DoorDash VIP and that wasn’t something I was proud of.
“Sutton?” Parker asked.
I jerked my head up and looked directly at Parker. “What? Yes? What’d I miss?”
“Have you had any time for yourself? I know the Cheetahs have you working seven days a week. Will that slow down for you?”
I wiped my mouth and took a sip of water. “I don’t want it to slow down. Once I’ve proven myself and Grayson and I take the team to the playoffs, then maybe I’ll settle down. Until then, I don’t want to.”
Hayley shoulder-bumped me. “During the summer, she spends about a month with me and her dad in Rhode Island. He has a beautiful house on the beach. He’s so good with the boys. I make sure Sutton tunes out the world and just relaxes. The NFL gives their coaches time off right before training camp starts.”
“So, if you just broke up with Lexi, was there anybody else that you had a long-term relationship with?” Grayson asked.
Why would Grayson Moats be interested in my love life? This conversation was taking a weird turn and I didn’t know how to handle it. “I’ve had a few girlfriends but nothing serious. Lexi is the only woman I’ve lived with and that was more out of convenience.” I could feel the sweat starting to form in the small of my back.
“I remember you dated that one girl in college who worshipped the ground you walked on. What was her name? Kristin? Katherine?” Hayley asked.
“Kristin.” I shook my head. That was a terrible time in my life. “I wouldn’t say she worshipped me, but she was a bit much.”
Hayley looked at me. “Seriously? The girl planned everything from your wedding to finding a donor for your four children.” She looked at Parker and Grayson and thumbed in my direction. “After that fiasco, Sutton took a step back from the dating world. And she got off social media.”
“I got off social media because people were saying terrible things about women in the NFL,” I said.
“That totally sucks because you’re amazing, but you’re also missing out on fun platforms. Instagram is great. And I can’t even begin to tell you all the amazing things you could do as a coach on TikTok.”
I rolled my eyes at her. “And yet I still manage to live a full life without being controlled by my phone.” Hayley and Parker both put down their phones. “No, no. I don’t mean you two, I just mean I don’t need that in my life. You both have beautiful families and sharing them with the world is a gift. Crowbar is adorable, but who wants to see pics of him every day?”
“Every single person in the world does,” Hayley said.
I looked at Parker who nodded and back at Hayley. I shook my head. “Stop. Grayson, are you going to weigh in on this?”
He shrugged and grinned. “Sorry, Sutton. It’s the way of the world now.”
I leaned back and sighed. “Who has time for this?”
“Every single person in the world does,” Hayley said again. She reached for my phone. “Let me be in charge of your social media. Send me pics of coaching, Crowbar, and you in a bikini and I’ll post them for you.”
I snorted and reached for my phone, but she shooed me away. “Hang on. Let me at least download a few things for you.” I dropped my head in my hands, completely embarrassed.
“Fine.” I felt warm fingers on my hand and knew they weren’t Hayley’s. Parker had reached between the wine glasses and briefly touched my hand out of support. Her body was always warm. Years ago, I used to snuggle against her for body heat.
“It’s okay. I avoided it, too. I was busy raising kids. But we moved a few times and I missed my friends so I jumped on the social media train to stay in touch and haven’t looked back,” Parker said. She stood to clear the table. “Who wants dessert?”
“Please,” Grayson said. Hayley and I nodded.
Parker grabbed her and Grayson’s plates, and I grabbed ours and followed her to the kitchen. My eyes darted up and down her body. She’d matured nicely. She had curves and took care of her body. I knew that Hayley struggled a lot after each birth with body image. Being a quarterback’s wife came with a stupid set of unwritten rules. Parker obviously took that to heart because she looked the same size as she did in high school, only more curvy.
“What’s for dessert?” I asked, not really knowing what to talk about.
“Boston cream pie.” She looked at me expectantly as though daring me to question why she chose that particular dessert.
“Oh.” Boston Cream Pie was my favorite. It wasn’t a coincidence. I didn’t take the bait. I couldn’t. “That sounds delicious. Homemade or store-bought?” I knew it was homemade. She made me one for my eighteenth birthday. It was lopsided and the chocolate frosting melted because she put it together while it was still warm, but it was perfect because she made it for me.
“Homemade. I’ve come a long way in the last fifteen years.” She sounded angry at me.
I walked around the island and stood beside her. “You really have.” My voice was low so that only she could hear me. When she looked at me, I saw how vulnerable she was. Her happy-go-lucky attitude over the last few months was a front. We stared at each other for a long time. I wanted to reach out and pull her to me, but it wasn’t my place now. I wasn’t her safety anymore. She had a different life and as much as I wanted things to be different, she was untouchable.
“Things are different now, Sutton.” She was always good at reading my mind.
“Are they? Because they look the same as they did when we were kids.” I took a step back. Whatever was happening in this kitchen was something that we put behind us a long time ago and needed to stay there.
She took a step forward. “Things aren’t as black and white as you think. I would love to grab dinner with you one night, just the two of us, and tell you things that should’ve been said a long time ago.”
My heart steeled itself against her words. No wonder Lexi said I was emotionally unavailable. The moment I started feeling things, I shut down. “I think we should just leave things the way they are. I don’t need to know whatever is going on in your marriage. We should keep things simple. It’s the smart thing to do.” I smiled ruefully and headed back to the dining room where Hayley and Grayson were talking about NFTs. “It’s like I recognize the words but they mean nothing to me,” I said, jumping into the conversation as if the last minute didn’t happen.
Grayson laughed. “My agent wants to do something with them, so maybe I’ll actually start paying attention.”
“Okay, enough of that.” Parker walked in with the pie.
“I never understood why it’s called pie when clearly it’s a cake,” Hayley said. The knee bump under the table let me know that she was aware that Parker made my favorite dessert, too.
“It looks delicious,” I said and gave her a soft smile. Even if it was horrible, I was going to eat every last bite. It tasted as yummy as it looked and as much as I wanted more, I refrained.
We spent the rest of the night laughing and having a good time. I tried to put the conversation with Parker to the back of my mind, but I kept catching her looking at me. She wasn’t looking at me like a friend. Thankfully, Hayley and Grayson were strong reminders of why Parker was off-limits. So I just focused on good company and good conversation. As much as I’d dreaded the evening, it turned out to be fun.
“Thank you again for letting me crash your party. It was good to see you again.” Hayley pulled Parker into a hug and accepted one from Grayson.
I hugged both, too. I knew Parker needed friends and if I could get through this night, then having a friendship with her was doable. Hayley and I were silent until I pulled out of the driveway.
“Holy fuckballs! She’s so into you still!” Hayley squeezed my leg. “I mean, I was waiting for the room to explode. So much chemistry.”
“Fuck. I can’t have that, sis. She’s married to my quarterback. I’m technically his boss. Please tell me you’re just reading into it.”
Hayley turned to me, this time squeezing my arm. “Are you kidding me? The tension was there when we walked in the house. At first I thought he was oblivious, but did you see that look they shared when I said you and Lexi broke up?”
I clenched the steering wheel, refusing to let my mind wander. “He knows we have a past. I’m sure that’s all it is. We even talked about it before he took the job. I told him there wasn’t a problem with us working together.” I paused, thinking back to Parker searching my face for answers in the soft moment we shared in the kitchen. Her guard was down for a minute. Mine was down for fifty-five seconds. I looked at Hayley. “She’s off limits.”
Hayley sighed and flopped back in the seat. “I know. And all this sucks for you. It can’t be easy.”
“It’s weird really. At first, I was avoiding her at all costs. I locked away the feelings I had for her. I never let go and seeing her again just brought everything to the surface. That’s why I’m suffering now.”
Hayley’s soft voice punctured the momentary fairy tale. “She’s suffering, too. Maybe if we stay up all night and talk things through, you’ll feel better about your situation. That always worked when we were young.”
I took her hand. “Thank you for being the best friend in the whole world.”
“Ride or die, sister.”
I nodded. “Ride or die.”